"LOST IN LOVE"
EXTENDED ENDING
from chapter 16 of ebook version
“Love Me Out Loud”
♦
T H E R E remained a residue of fear in the guy, and Kyle was fully aware of its roots. As far as Kyle was concerned, it was an unnecessary fear. But Nate could be irrational and worrisome at times – who knew?
“You don't seem like you really want to go out.”
Nate sat on the corner of the bed, dressed nice and ready for their first real date since Kyle came home from the hospital almost two months ago. This night out was Kyle's idea. It would drive him nuts if he didn't get out and do something. Nate had been watching over him like a fussy mother hen, making sure he took his meds exactly when he should, getting him to his check-ups on time, every time. Forcing him to eat food that were supposed to be healthy for him but frankly tasted like shit. Kyle whined about it every step of the way just to annoy the guy, but the truth was – each and every time Nate took such care with him, displayed such depth of concern...Kyle had to bite back his tears – usually replacing them with a smart ass remark. Nate's love for him was above and beyond what his mortal mind could comprehend.
“No.” Nate stood and flashed a smile that tugged just a little to the right, and as always managed to turn Kyle's legs to rubber...while transforming other parts into steel. Nate rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm ready when you are.”
Liar. Kyle studied his face. The man was beautiful. Beyond beautiful. And so fucking sexy it was driving Kyle out of his mind. They hadn't done much in bed since he got home from the hospital and he was in desperate need to be seriously fucked by the man. Which was, in part, why he suggested they go out. If he remained in this house alone with Nate for one more full night, he was afraid he might rape the guy. So yeah, the date was for Nate's sake, first and foremost.
“I'm good to go.” Kyle's wear – black t-shirt and jeans – wasn't quite as snazzy as Nate's long sleeve white dress shirt, black sports jacket with black jeans – but it turned Nate on, even if the guy didn't say so, and that worked for Kyle.
Nate's palm was suddenly pressed against Kyle's brow, a look of concern pinching the man's face. “You feel okay?” Nate asked, that incessant note of worry tainting his tone. “You look flushed. A bit warm too.”
“I'm fine, nurse Betty.” Kyle smirked. Nothing a good hard fuck wouldn't fix. “You're not gonna use me as an excuse to get out of our plans.”
Nate frowned. “Why do you think I want out?”
“Don't know.” Kyle shrugged, but he did know, and he would deal with it when the time was right.
“Maybe you're just delusional.” Nate smiled. “Possibly a side effect of your drugs?”
“Yeah, whatever.” Kyle approached him as he stood up, hooking his fingers loosely in the waistband of Nate's jeans. One fingertip worked between the small gap of two of his shirt buttons and traced light circles around Nate's naval. The guy's stomach instantly quivered and jerked. Kyle smiled darkly. “Of course...we could always stay in...do something even more...exciting.” He leaned against Nate's body and teased his Adam's apple with the tip of his tongue. “Ya think?”
Nate's breath quickened in an instant. His crotch swelled against Kyle's. “You know...” He cleared his throat as his voice turned thick, raspy. “You know we're not supposed to be doing that yet.” His hands clamped onto Kyle's shoulder, but his grip was shaky. “One of us has to act responsibly. And we both know that sure as shit ain't gonna you.”
Chuckling, Kyle shrugged. “When have I ever been the responsible one?”
“My point exactly.” Nate lifted an eyebrow and what little room was left in Kyle's shorts – vanished in a pulse and a throb.
With clear reluctance, Nate stepped away from Kyle's probing touches and inviting body. “We should go.” His voice retained the roughness that betrayed his desire to stay home as Kyle suggested. “The movie is gonna start soon.”
“Fine.” Kyle groaned. “It's a fine day when a guy can't even get a little pre-date nookie from his man.”
Nate chuckled and shook his head. “Get your rear in gear, smart ass.”
Kyle winked. “I was trying to.”
♦
The line into the theater seemed to stretch away endlessly from both sides, with Nate and Kyle caught in the middle. Nate already regretted this choice of activity for the evening. It had been Kyle's idea to watch a movie, and that had been cool with Nate – but did he have to pick one that everyone was waiting to see? Crowds were not his thing, and especially not tonight as an annoying anxiety jabbed at his gut. He knew the source and that annoyed him even more.
A teen couple in front of them became fidgety and began groping each other playfully, the boy stealing a kiss from his girlfriend every few seconds, causing the girl to giggle and pretend to try and get away from him. Normally Nate would have found it cute, but tonight it was just irritating.
Admit it, man – you're just jealous because you want to be groping your lover.
So, okay – maybe that was part of it. He was so fucking horny for Kyle he couldn't see straight. Even the mild stuff he allowed to happen between them wasn't satisfying him – though it was damn good. But he was so ready to just cut loose and not have to rein himself – or Kyle – back in. It was getting more and more difficult to do so, and Kyle was sure as shit no help.
The girl laughed and shoved at her boyfriend, stepping back awkwardly and stomping on Nate's foot with the sharp heel of her shoe. He sucked in a tight breath then bit back the unpleasant words possessing his tongue. The girl's hand shot out and flattened against Nate's stomach as she caught herself, then she glanced at him and laughed apologetically.
“Sorry.” She turned back to her boyfriend and socked him lightly in the arm. “Look what you did, dumb ass. You made me step on the guy's foot.”
“You pushed me.” The boy snorted. Moments later they were onto something else and forgot about Nate.
Teenagers, Nate mentally rolled his eyes. Attention span of a moth.
A low snorting chuckle reached him and he glanced at Kyle. The guy cocked an eyebrow. “Getting touchy with the girls now, big boy?”
Nate rolled his eyes for real. “Shut up.” he muttered and emitted a short laugh. But the needling anxiety was still there, still annoying him.
“What's with you tonight?” Kyle asked. “Why're you acting so...uptight?”
“I'm not.” Nate muttered again, staring down the line of movie-goers. “It's just, I hate it when the theater is packed. Maybe we should do this another night. Find something else to do tonight.” He shifted uneasily. “Kind of feel out of place amongst all these kids.”
“Why?” Kyle grinned. “I don't.”
Nate chuffed. “That's because you never grew up.” He looked at him and smiled. “You're still one of them.”
Grinning, Kyle cocked an eyebrow and shrugged. Every time Nate looked at him, he was still in awe that Kyle was actually there. The last couple months seemed to have sped by in a flash, their time taken up by frequent checkups, carefully planned out exercise therapy to help Kyle condition his heart slowly, get it strengthened. Keeping him on a healthy eating regime. The dosage of his medications altered periodically. Having had both brain surgery and a heart transplant, Kyle's risk factor was higher than just that of one or the other. Greyson had strongly suggested they remain in L.A. for at least the first six weeks so that he could monitor Kyle's condition and progress closely, almost daily.
Dr. Hollis – the cardiologist who had performed Kyle's transplant – conferred with Greyson that it was best if Kyle remained in the city for that first month and a half, at least. The two doctors worked closely together on Kyle's case, so there was less chance of something going wrong and not being caught in time. Thank God, there had been no setbacks or problems with his body accepting the new heart. And though an element of risk remained even now, the more time that passed, the less Nate worried about something arising that would put Kyle back in the hospital.
Just a week ago, Greyson and Dr. Hollis had – somewhat reluctantly – given Kyle the okay to take a two week trip back to Idaho with Nate. Taking the necessary precautions, Greyson had contacted a trusted cardiologist in Boise and informed him of Kyle's condition then supplied Nate with the proper contact information in case anything went wrong while they were away. He didn't believe in taking chances or leaving anything to fate. And neither did Nate.
All of it had distracted Nate from really contemplating how close death had come to snatching Kyle away forever. When it did hit him at times, it sent a chill through his body and made him want to grab onto Kyle wherever they happened to be and just hold him tight, reminding himself that Kyle was really there, that he was flesh and blood and not just some figment of his imagination he conjured up because he couldn't handle reality.
Even now, standing in a long line consisting predominantly of teenagers – Nate was overcome with the need to have Kyle in his arms, his chest pressed tight to Nate's so he could feel the beat of his heart. Every night, after Kyle fell asleep, Nate would lay his head on the guy's chest, his ear pressed snug to his warm skin, and just listen to his heartbeat, sometimes count the beats, accepting each one as one more second of life Kyle had lived on this earth. Not once, since Kyle had come home, had Nate fallen asleep first. Even if he was tired to the point of feeling drugged, he would force himself to remain awake until Kyle was peacefully sleeping. Kyle had made a joke once that he was almost afraid to go to sleep, for fear he might not wake up again. Except – it hadn't been a joke. Nate had sensed a real fear in the guy. So he always stayed awake until Kyle fell asleep, so Kyle wouldn't have to lay awake alone in the dark, his fear torturing him. And he seemed to sleep more soundly when Nate stayed up, watching over him in a sense, making sure he was okay.
He glanced at Kyle. His hands were stuffed deep in the front pockets of his jeans and he was dancing back and forth on his feet, his arms prickled in goose flesh. The guy hadn't brought a jacket with him, wearing just his t-shirt. Nate had warned him it got pretty cool, and sometimes downright chilly, in the evenings up there. But despite Nate's insistence he bring a coat, Kyle had remained stubborn, insisting he didn't need every decision made for him. Nate knew he was suffocating him, but it was so hard not to watch over him every second of every day. So he had relented with the jacket issue, certain they would get right into the heated theater. Now he regretted it. The last thing Kyle needed was to get sick.
Nate shrugged out of his sports jacket and thrust it at Kyle. “Here. Put this on.”
“Huh?” Kyle looked at the jacket then at Nate, and shook his head. “No. I'm fine.”
“Put the fucking coat on.” Nate hissed low, leaning closer. “Or I'll put it on you myself. I don't need you getting sick.”
Kyle took the jacket, glancing around as if concerned by who might be watching. “People are gonna think I'm a fag.” He mumbled low, a half smirk on his lips. “Having to take a jacket from another guy.” He slipped it on.
People are gonna think I'm a fag. Nate's lips pressed tight as he just stared at Kyle's face. Was he really just joking? Or was he actually uneasy about people knowing the way he was?
From the moment they'd stepped out in public, Kyle hadn't touched him. Back at the house, he could barely keep the man's hands off him. But out here, where everyone could see...it felt like the old days...when they were just friends.
Nate looked away and cursed the sting in his eyes. Maybe Kyle would never be comfortable displaying that part of himself in public. He hadn't lived his life out like Nate had. He had even admitted to Nate, back at the cabin, that he wasn't like him, it mattered to Kyle what people thought. Nate found that hard to fathom, all things considered. But he also knew Kyle kept a lot of stuff carefully concealed beneath his cocky personality.
The anxiety from before pinched harder at his gut. He'd been scared of this, that he and Kyle would never truly have an out and open relationship. That everything between them would be kept behind closed doors. Sure, Kyle hadn't balked at Nate holding him at the funeral, but the guy had been so weary and wiped out, nothing would have mattered at that point.
Quit your fucking bitching. Kyle is alive, healthy. He loves you. Who gives a fuck if you have to keep things under wraps? You still have him in your life! Don't fucking whine like a spoiled brat because you didn't get every little thing you wanted. Be fucking grateful he's alive at all!
Nate cleared his throat and rubbed his hand over his mouth. Kyle stood just behind him, the sports jacket wrapped snug around his body, clearly basking in the warmth. Despite his moaning, Kyle was obviously grateful for the covering. His eyes stung again and he pressed his lips tighter. Did it really matter if Kyle wasn't comfortable displaying his feelings in public? He had him back, and that should be all that counted. All else was trivial.
“You're right.” Kyle said suddenly, startling Nate. “This place is gonna be fucking packed.” He released a low, short breath and glanced around then looked at Nate. “Let's go somewhere else.”
Nodding, Nate sighed. “Sounds good to me.”
“Wanna grab a pizza? Down at...” He waved his hand absently. “The place...I forgot the name...we used to go there sometimes when I was up here...it was the name of that dude, with the funky name.”
Nate's brow pinched. “Guido?” he said. “You're talking about Guido's?”
“Yeah.” Kyle nodded. “Is it still open? They made fucking awesome pizza.” He smirked. “And after all that healthy shit you've been cramming down my throat, I could use some real food for once.”
It had been torture for Kyle to eat healthy, and Nate couldn't entirely blame him. But though he had pissed and moaned with nearly every bite, he'd still consumed whatever Nate put before him. He deserved to be treated to some real food.
“Yeah, it's still open.”
“So?” Kyle raised an eyebrow and smiled, causing Nate's heart to do a hard flip-flop in his chest. “You wanna go there instead?”
Swallowing thickly, Nate nodded. “Definitely.”
They stepped out of line and crossed the street to where the truck was parked.
“That Guido guy was a funny fucker.” Kyle laughed as they climbed into the cab of Nate's truck.
Nate grinned. “He still is.” He cranked the ignition and glanced at Kyle, just missing the evil little smirk that grabbed at Kyle's lips then vanished as quickly.
♦
Guido's was exactly as Kyle remembered it. He guessed rural America wasn't as eager to make the constant changes as urban America. Which was fine. He suspected he was becoming infected with the country bug, finding he was enjoying his time in the boonies much more than life in the big city. Of course, the boonies had Nate...the city didn't. Could be a factor as to why he was becoming more and more countrified.
“Fuuuck.” Kyle moaned when they stepped through the door into Guido's, breathing deep. “Come on, I'm ready for something that isn't fucking good for me.”
Nate chuckled and motioned him towards the order counter. The fact that Nate was careful not to touch him – or imply with any gestures that they were together – didn't escape Kyle's attention. Not that Nate hadn't given him plenty of opportunities to initiate contact. More than once, the guy's hand had brushed against Kyle's, as if by chance, perhaps testing to see if Kyle would naturally take hold of him. It had been a sheer strength of will not to grab Nate's hand, or slide his arm around the guys' waist, or kiss him every minute or so. But the man clearly believed Kyle wasn't confident enough about his feelings and who he was to express it openly before the world.
And for that – Nate would have to be punished a little before Kyle set his mind at ease.
His lips pressed tight, resisting the smirk that struggled to take control of his mouth. Though he wasn't touching him, Nate still walked close by his side, as if it were physically impossible for the man to keep his distance. That alone nearly crippled Kyle's heart. Nate's love for him was deep and wide, and the anguish the guy was feeling at Kyle's reluctance to openly claim him was crushing the man.
After all he'd done for Kyle, the ultimate sacrifice he'd made to try and save Kyle's life – he had every right to feel bitter and angry with Kyle for not being open about their relationship. And yet – he didn't. Kyle sensed no negative emotions in Nate, other than his anguish at being shunned. When he looked in Nate's eyes, he saw only the man's intense, eternal love for him. And gratitude – that Kyle was even alive. Still, it was killing Nate to have to suppress his feelings and emotions in public. He was proud to have Kyle for a boyfriend, and Kyle knew it. Nate wanted to show Kyle to the world, display him like a well-earned trophy. But felt he had to hide him away instead.
Kyle bit his lip, fighting back the chuckle. The man wished for Kyle to openly claim him? One should be careful what they wish for.
Don't worry, baby. Here before long – you're gonna be wishing you could deny me.
♦
Though not nearly as packed as the theater, Guido's nevertheless had a decent head count, most of which was in the back of the establishment Nate viewed as the entertainment area. It wasn't much; a few arcade style video games lined the wall, a classic looking jukebox in the corner, a single pool table. Three or four booth tables were against another wall. In the center of the area were small round tables with stools, facing a small stage with a karaoke setup for folks whose unrealized dreams of being singers were given the spotlight to display their talent for the hearing discomfort of Guido's patrons.
Up front were rectangle tables with padded benches where most of the customers usually ate their meals. More often it was the teens that filled up the back area. But what with most of the teenagers apparently at the theater tonight, the customers in the back seemed mostly in an upper age group – and much more of them than was the norm.
“Wanna get a booth in the back?” Kyle leaned casually on the order counter and studied a menu that was laminated to the surface.
Nate glanced at the crowded area. A guy was on the small stage attempting to sing a romantic love song – no doubt to the poor young woman slowly sinking down on her stool and about to slide under her table. “Why don't we get a table up front.” he said. “It's kind of crowded back there.”
Lifting his head slowly, Kyle looked at him, his brow pinched, the corner of his mouth jerking. “What's with you and crowds tonight?”
“Well, I would like to eat in peace.” Nate said. “Without having to stuff my napkin in my ears.”
Kyle looked in the back, then grinned. “Ah, he's not so bad. And look.” He chuckled. “His girl adores him for trying.”
“You mean the girl hiding under her table?” Nate laughed.
“Hey-ya!” Guido came out of the back kitchen area and greeted the two men with a huge smile that flashed way too many teeth. “Nate! Good to see you, man. You haven't been around for a while. Whatcha been up to?”
Guido's Italian accent was strong, and he dressed like a member of the mob. Nate often wondered if he wasn't hiding out here in this little Idaho town.
“Been out of town.” Nate spoke low, his eyes flicked to Kyle who was studying the menu again. Nate's gaze settled briefly on the prominent scar on the side of Kyle's head, barely covered by the short layer of dark hair. Though the weeks had turned into a couple months, and time passed, Nate still felt trapped in that time frame of when Kyle's life was in imminent danger.
He cleared his throat and looked at Guido. “Personal stuff.”
“Gotcha.” Guido winked and snapped his finger at Nate, clucking his tongue. “Nunna ma business.” He chuckled. “So what can I getcha? What's your poison?”
Glancing up, Kyle grinned. “Your biggest pizza with every greasy, fatty topping ya got.” Then winked. “My buddy's paying.”
“He didn't literally mean your poison.” Nate shook his head, his instinctive habit to force Kyle to eat right trying to kick in. He pushed it back. One sinfully fatty meal wasn't going to hurt the guy. He looked at Guido, shrugged and grinned. “Whatever he asks for, I guess...since apparently I'm paying. Don't know just when we established that.”
Guido laughed as Nate dug out his wallet, paid for Kyle's order, plus a couple cokes.
“What's up with the crowd?” Nate asked as he stuffed his wallet back into his rear pocket. “Seems excessive.”
The Italian shrugged absently. “Can't say. They just started accumulating.”
Nate frowned and smiled. “Strange.”
“Mm-Hm.” Guido shot a quick glance at Kyle then grinned at Nate. “Your order will be done in about fifteen.”
Nodding, Nate picked up his glass of soda as Kyle grabbed his own and headed for the back area. Nate hesitated, groaning, then shook his head and followed him to the only empty booth. Nate sat down but Kyle remained standing.
“I'll be back in a sec.” he smirked. “Gotta drain my main vein.”
“Nice.” Nate shook his head then chuckled as Kyle headed for the restrooms. He grabbed one of the straws and popped it out of its casing and stabbed in into the glass of coke and ice. He took a sip then slowly stirred the ice, watching the dark liquid swirl in a tiny whirlpool.
A pressure squeezed his chest suddenly and he closed his eyes, struggling to force it away. Kyle was trying to have a good time tonight and, though he didn't say much, it was clear he was picking up on Nate's less than enthusiastic attitude. And it pissed Nate off that he was letting his fucking anxiety taint their first actual date.
Date. Was that really what it was? Or just two friends hanging out? There was nothing romantic about any of this. It was the same shit they had done when they were just friends. Fuck, he couldn't even hold the guy's hand, or kiss him. Or even look at him too long with the wrong look without feeling like he was making Kyle uncomfortable.
He wasn't pissed at Kyle. Not at all. More so at himself for wanting something he should have known better than to wish for. Kyle loved him. He knew the guy loved him. Nothing else should matter. Nothing else did matter. Not really. It was just...
“Fuck.” Nate whispered and ducked his head, dragging his fingers through his hair then down the back of his head. He rubbed the nape of his neck, feeling like shit for making a mountain out a molehill.
Will you ever be fucking satisfied? Kyle practically came back from the dead and that's still not enough for you? What the fuck do you want him to do – shout his love to the world with a fucking bull horn-
“You all picked a great night to be here. You're in for a treat.”
Kyle's sudden voice booming out of the stage speakers jerked Nate's head up and to the side so fast he swore something popped in his neck. His pulse quivered and shuddered to a near death state as he stared in disbelief at Kyle standing on the small stage behind the microphone. He'd changed clothes and was now wearing black leather pants of a high glossy sheen, and so tight they could pass for a second skin. A black pimp hat rested at a slight angle on his head and he still wore Nate's sport's jacket.
Air lodged in Nate's tightening throat, preventing proper breathing, as his pulse came back to life and sped up, faster, faster, until his head began to feel light and dizzy. Kyle's eyes locked with Nate's as a prominent smirk raced across his lips – and he winked.
“You've got to be shittin' me.” Nate groaned, his voice cracked.
What the fuck are you doing, you little shit?
“Cross The Line, Never Looking Back”
♦
H E took a moment to revel in the priceless look of shock – and perhaps horror – on Nate's face. If the man hadn't been frozen in place, Kyle was quite certain he would have bolted for the door.
Ah, but you wanted it, baby, Kyle mused. And now you're gonna get it.
The microphone squeezed in his fist as he popped it loose from the stand. Nate's eyes were glued to him, narrow and tense. He didn't miss the shadow of warning in that stare either, even from across the room. Reading Nate's mind was simple, he knew the guy so well. He suspected his thoughts consisted of – You fucking little shit, I swear to God if you embarrass me, I'll wring your scrawny neck – or something to that effect.
As usual, Kyle ignored the warning, blowing it off as an empty threat. Nate wouldn't hurt a fly.
Unless that fly embarrassed him in front of a room full of people – then he would squash it.
Chuckling to himself, Kyle considered it worth the risk. After tonight – Nate would never doubt him again.
Nor will he ever take you out in public again, either – but what the fuck.
♦
Pressure squeezed his jaw and tiny stinging shocks snapped up into Nate's face as his teeth clamped tighter and tighter. Oh God, please let this be a dream. He realized he was gripping his glass of soda way too tight just moments before it threatened to shatter in his hands – and released it.
“My name's Kyle.” Kyle's voice seemed to boom throughout the room, surely not nearly as loud as Nate heard it, but certainly loud enough. “I'm here tonight with my...buddy...Nate.”
You shit. Nate groaned and tried to will himself to disappear as Kyle's arm shot out and he pointed right at Nate – drawing the attention of everyone in the room. All eyes fell on him and he glared hard at Kyle. Count yourself lucky, boy, that looks can't kill.
Kyle grinned. “Come on, Nate!” he spoke even louder. “Stand up! Show 'em what a fine piece of man flesh you are!”
You are so gonna fucking pay for this.
Without moving from the booth, Nate raised his right hand and gave him the finger. The room burst with laughter and Kyle clucked his tongue. “Stop teasing me now.”
A sigh of exasperation puffed from Nate's nostrils and he shook his head. The girl from earlier who nearly died from embarrassment when her boyfriend tried to sing her a song – shot Nate a sympathetic look, but which also declared 'Thank god all my man did was sing a song.'
Kyle chuckled. “I called Nate my buddy...but we're much more than that...aren't we?” He winked at Nate. “You know, this guy is pretty amazing.” Kyle spoke to the people and Nate sat rigid, unable to take his eyes off the guy. Aside from the fact that he wanted to choke Kyle right now, he nonetheless could not get over the way he looked in those fucking skin tight pants – leaving little to the imagination. Every move he made dragged Nate's eyes to his sizable package. A sudden, agonizing ache shot through Nate's crotch and his jaw clenched tighter, his breath wheezing through his clamped teeth.
The little fucker knew exactly what he was doing when he chose those pants.
Kyle continued. “A couple months ago...I was on my death bed.” His eyes grabbed Nate's stare and, for a moment, his words were rimmed with a serious tone. “This guy here.” A slight tightness squeezed Kyle's voice. “He stuck by me. Refused to give up or let me go.”
A combined swelling - “Awww” - emitted from the small crowd and all eyes turned to Nate once again. Nate rubbed his hand over his mouth and just stared at Kyle. A couple months ago I was on my death bed. Hearing those words come out of Kyle's mouth was like a punch of reality to Nate's heart. For the last two months it seemed he'd been running on auto-pilot, doing whatever it took to make sure Kyle got what he needed and such. He rarely let himself fully contemplate how close he really came to losing him. And Kyle almost never talked about what he'd went through. Nate was aware that it freaked the guy out, how close to death he'd actually been. So for him to even mention it now, in front of a room full of strangers...was almost epic.
“Ever since I came home from the hospital.” Kyle said. “He's been taking care of me, looking out for me, providing all my needs.”
A rush of adoring looks fell on Nate.
He stared at Kyle, his face beginning to soften some – until that devilish smirk crept back across Kyle's lips like an evil imp. The tension returned instantly. Nate was well familiar with that look – and it was never a good omen.
“Well.” Kyle grinned, his eyes narrowing just a bit with a dark glint. “Almost all my needs.”
Don't you dare.
“There is one need he's been a bit stingy with.”
You little fucker, I swear to God. Nate's eyes burned with a deadly threat. The heat began to seep down into his face, warming his cheeks. Thank God the lights weren't bright back here. Nate rubbed his hand over his mouth, the tension in his face evident to the touch. He glanced around anxiously when he noticed Guido standing off to the side, arms crossed over his chest, watching Kyle – a giant, toothy grin on his face.
A frown squeezed Nate's brow. His eyes snapped from Guido to Kyle, then back to the Italian. The man had conspired with Kyle, to set this up. The fucker.
Guido caught his eye and his grin grew bigger – if that were even possible.
Nate started to leave his seat to approach the man – when Kyle's voice stopped him and dropped his ass back into the booth, hard.
“My boy's been denying me what I need the most.” Kyle winked at Nate again as another rumble of laughter rolled through the crowd, followed by a bombardment of - “Boo!”
Nate's face twitched, his eyes narrowing and cutting into Kyle as the warmth in his cheeks began to burn.
“Aww come on!” A guy on the far side of the room shouted. “Give the boy some lovin'!”
Laughter erupted and others chimed in, seconding the motion.
I am gonna so fucking hurt you for this, Nate fumed inwardly.
“Oh, look at that face.” Kyle smiled sweetly and flattened his hand tenderly over his heart, the devil in his eyes. “He loves me.”
“Don't think that's love, buddy!” Another guy shouted, inciting more eruption from the group.
Kyle's eyes gripped Nate's steely glare, and winked once more. “Ah, sure it is. You just gotta understand Nate.” He smirked. “That's his I Adore You To Pieces look.”
Another man jumped in. “Looks more like I'm about to beat the piss out of you look, I'd say!”
Nate snorted; that guy had it right.
“Nah.” Kyle chuckled. “Not my tender loving Nate.”
Oh God, please let this be over soon, Nate groaned.
“But anyway.” Kyle grabbed the microphone stand and moved it out of the way, then seized Nate's eyes again. “Nate, baby...come on now, stand up. Let the folks get a look at my man.”
A flurry of cheering voices urged Nate to stand.
“Come on, Nate.” Kyle went on, and Nate's anxiety began to swell by leaps and bounds. “Show 'em what a hottie you are.”
So intent was Nate on watching Kyle warily, determined not to lift his ass out of that booth, that he jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. Guido grinned then nudged his arm. “Come on, my friend.” Guido urged. “No fair hiding in the booth. Ya gotta be standing to get the proper view and full effect of all this.”
Nate's guts twisted tighter. “All what?”
Every thinking part of Nate's brain warned him not to leave the booth, but Guido wouldn't take no for an answer, and tugged Nate up onto his feet. Nate's eyes bored into the man.
“You're in on this with him, aren't you?”
Guido chuckled. “Everyone needs an accomplice.”
“I thought we were friends.” Nate muttered.
“He swore this was for you.”
“And you believed him?” Nate cocked an eyebrow. He was out of the booth but didn't move any further, leaning against the high wooden back. “And this crowd? Your doing?”
Guido just chuckled.
Kyle's raised voice jerked Nate's attention back to the stage. “Ah, there we go!” Kyle grinned. “Now y'all can get a good look! Isn't he just beautiful?”
Whistles and cat calls exploded through the room. Nate's lips pressed tight as he ducked his head, shaking it slowly. He rubbed his hand over his mouth again, dragging it down slowly, groaning. He could feel the heat surging to the surface of his skin. His hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans and he stared at the floor. The corner of his mouth jerked and twisted with a humorless smile.
“Now can you imagine being denied all that fantasticness?” The smirk on Kyle's face was audible in his voice as Nate continued to shake his head slowly, refusing to look at the guy.
Fantasticness? That wasn't even a fucking word. He swore the guy made this shit up as he went along.
The room burst out in sympathy for Kyle being denied his apparent due lovin'.
Oh God – help me now!
He swore he could hear God chuckling – You're the one who wanted him back. Don't come crying to me. That little bundle of craziness belongs to you now.
And whoever said God didn't have a sense of humor?
A twisted one at that.
“Aw, baby, don't be shy!” Kyle called out. “You have the love of the people!”
Another burst of whistles and cheers.
Nate tugged one hand loose and absently raked his fingers through his hair then gripped the back of his neck and raised his head just a bit. He could wring Kyle's neck for this – yet the vision of him standing up there, decked out in a get-up that surely had to have him feeling at least somewhat self-conscious, life exploding out of him like a blinding light...Nate couldn't totally deny the beauty and miracle of it all.
“But tell me, baby.” Kyle spoke out loud and, like a needle stabbing a balloon, Nate's brief moment of wonderment burst into nothingness. The guy pressed the thick tip of the microphone close to his lips and when he spoke, his voice came out deep and low – and extra loud. “Do you know what it's doing to me...all this lack of lovin'?”
Oh fuck. Where are you going with this?
“How all this is affecting me?” He glanced at the crowd and continued to speak low into the microphone. “I don't think he knows. Perhaps I should...express myself?”
Piercing whistles and whoops of encouragement blasted Nate's ears and he winced, then cringed. Oh dear God, please don't let him express himself.
♦
Kyle had to bite his lip to keep from busting out laughing at the look of mild terror on Nate's face. Had the guy known this was what was in store for the evening – he would have gladly stayed home at Kyle's mock request. But even through the threatening glares and narrowed eyes – the love was still there. Granted it was heavily veiled – but still there nonetheless.
Nate rubbed the back of his neck with unease, his head half ducked but still watching Kyle – and looking so fucking sexy. By the time I'm through with you, baby, you're gonna be giving me some tonight. Don't think I don't see you checkin' out my goods.
The man's eyes were heavy on his back when he turned and walked over to the stereo setup and selected his song of choice.
Get ready to take ride on the crazy train, baby.
♦
A funny tingling sensation quivered up Nate's thighs, through his groin and into his lower abdomen as Kyle turned his back to him. It was impossible to keep his eyes from grabbing Kyle's perfect ass, so defined and accentuated in the tight leather pants that clung to his skin as surely as if they were painted on. Kyle had to have known those pants would be his redemption from all he did here tonight.
A faint queasiness weaved through his guts when Kyle returned to the front of the small stage, the cordless microphone gripped in his right hand. He raised the microphone close to his lips again as his left hand snaked up and tipped his hat down over his brow just a bit.
“This one's for you, baby.” He murmured deep and low into the microphone. “Just a little something to let you know what happens to a man when he's deprived.”
“Depraved, you mean.” Nate muttered low. Beside him, Guido chuckled.
The corner of Kyle's mouth slowly dragged up to the left and his eyes narrowed in a look that never failed to rip the strength from Nate's legs. “Hold onto your butt, baby.” Kyle warned. Despite Nate's anxiety, that look on Kyle's face and his low, deep sexy-as-hell voice spun around him like tentacles, stinging all over his body, setting him on fire.
The girl from earlier cast Nate another sympathetic look that offered – I hope your man sings better than mine.
So do I, Nate groaned. But in truth, he'd seen Kyle screw around plenty of times in the past, mocking songs, being crazy – and even in his goofing off Nate could tell the guy had a great voice, though he'd never heard him actually straight up sing a song. Did Kyle really have to choose tonight to make his debut on stage?
The music poured out of the speakers, quietly at first as Kyle turned his back to the room then began to move with the beat of the music as it quickly grew louder, pumping through the room. Kyle's left hand rose and gripped his hat lightly and he spun slowly around on his heel, the microphone at his lips.
“Feels like I'm having a meltdown...it feels like I'm losing control.”
The room exploded with whistles and cheers.
“They tell me I'm a danger to myself...now the crazy train is ready to roll – Oh-oh!” Nate's breath staggered and hitched when Kyle thrust his hips and proclaimed - “Walk that walk, like you don't give a fuck! You got the right to turn it up and get down.” - he spun a quick, full circle on one foot and slapped his ass, nearly dropping Nate to his knees. - “Electric shock! No I can't get enough – 'cause tonight we're taking over the town – Hey-ey!”
Kyle leaped off the stage and Nate slammed back against the wooden side of the booth, his heart catching. When Kyle's feet hit the floor, he ripped open the front of his jacket, revealing a bright pink, sleeveless t-shirt clinging so tight to his torso that his chest and stomach muscles rippled visibly. He whipped off the jacket and flung it away.
“I wanna lose my mind – like a maniac! And cross that line – never looking back!”
Nate nearly choked on his tongue as the words Proven Penis Enlarger glared back in bold, bright rainbow lettering.
“We're on the loose – gettin' crazy!” - Kyle moved with the music, his body doing things Nate had never quite seen before, coming down the aisle between the tables – towards Nate – “And we've gone cuckoo!”
No shit, he'd gone cuckoo. The boy had done gone over the edge.
“Gonna party till they take us away!” Kyle was closer, and moving in fast. Nate's back pressed tighter against the booth, his pulse hammering. His body was responding to Kyle's fluid movements way too eagerly and he couldn't seem to dissuade it.
Kyle grasped his hat again - “I'm swinging off of my hinges.” - his hips began to sway so beautifully it ripped an agonized whimper from Nate's throat – then a stifled cry as Kyle's hand suddenly dropped to his full, accentuated crotch and gripped hard as his hips thrust forward - “I'm cocked and I'm ready to go!”
Nate bit his lip hard. Fuuuck!
“Go on and pack up your things-es...the crazy train is ready to roll – Oh-Oh!” Kyle's hand clamped to his hips as they gyrated in perfect sync with the beat of the music - “Walk that walk like you don't give a fuck!” - he was right there and spun around before Nate could respond, pressed his body back hard against Nate's. He clutched his hat - “You've got the right to turn it up and get down!” - he dropped, sliding down Nate's body then back up again. Nate's jaw clenched so tight black spots dotted his vision as Kyle's extremely tight clad ass rubbed against his swelling crotch. - “Electric shock – no I can't get enough!” - Kyle's hand shot back and slapped Nate's ass hard – awarding himself a sharp grunt from Nate - as he thrust away from the man and spun around to face him, an evil glint in his eyes, as he danced away, holding Nate's fevered stare - “'Cause tonight we're taking over the town! Hey-ey!”
Holy Fuck! Nate whimpered – then cringed when he realized it was audible. I'm in love with a lunatic!
The crowd was going crazy, agging him on, shrill whistles drilled into Nate's brain, making his head pound harder.
Kyle spun in a fast circle and whipped his hat off, sailing it into the crowd then gripped his head, swinging it back and forth - “I wanna lose my mind! Just like a maniac!” - Nate feared that was already a done deal - “And cross the line, never looking back! We're on the loose, gettin' crazy! And we've gone cuckoo!” - Nate groaned, clutching the booth. Baby, no argument here! Sweat was causing his shirt to cling to his body - “Gonna party till they take us away!” - Won't be long now, Nate mused, his breath shaky and heart rate uneven.
“Lose my mind! I'm gonna lose my mind!”
His pulse racing, Nate couldn't calm it as he watched Kyle's perfect body ripple and contract beneath his skin tight clothes, his hips rotating so smooth and fluid, exploding Nate's mind with images of the guy on top of him, using those movements to-
“Gonna get out of this strai-aight jacket - whoa-oh-oh!” - Kyle's left arm shot out to the side as his body curved and bent backwards just a bit, his legs spread eagled and feet planted firm - “Cuckoo!” - Pressure closed Nate's throat and tightened his lower region more prominently as Kyle's leather pants squeezed his body in all the right places - “Gonna get out of this strai-aight jacket – whoa-oh-oh! Yeeaah!”
Nate's head was swimming, teetering him on the edge of fainting. Trust me, baby, your “straight” jacket is long gone. Fuck, when that boy came out – he came out in a blaze of glory!
“I wanna lose my mind – like a maniac!” - Nate's head cleared just enough to thrust him into deeper shock as Kyle slid to his knees at Nate's feet. His hand snapped out and grabbed the back of Nate's calf - “And cross the line – never looking back!” - He began to slither up Nate's body, pressed close and tight, dragging his hand up the back of Nate's thigh - “We're on the loose- gettin' crazy! And we've gone...” - His teeth suddenly nipped Nate's swollen crotch, ripping a sharp yelp from him - “Cuckoo!”
Kyle squeezed Nate's ass hard as he was back on his feet. His evil smirk played wildly across his lips as he broke from singing for a split second, long enough to speak hushed into the microphone - “Don't worry, baby, no one saw that.” - the crowd instantly went wild with whistles and laughter as Kyle turned in one fluid movement and pressed his ass against Nate's groin, grabbing Nate's hand and flattening it on his hip as he swayed back and forth - “Gonna party till they take us away.” - Nate's head dropped back hard against the side of the booth, his eyes squeezing shut, his heart beating frantic against his ribs. Kyle shoved away again, spinning around and swinging his ass as he half danced, half strutted back down the aisle.
Tremors swept through Nate's body in waves. He clung to the booth, his knees pure rubber. It was in him to think evil thoughts towards Kyle, but the fire burning up his brain and his body didn't allow for any shred of rational thought. Beads of sweat broke out all over his fevered skin and trickled down his face. The little shit really wanted to get fucked tonight – and he knew just how to get his wish!
Kyle spun two fast circles on the ball of his foot then stopped short, facing Nate, his hand clamped onto the back of his head as it swayed back and forth - “Lose my mind – gonna lose my mind – lose my mind!” - Nate's chest heaved. The boy's mind had long abandoned him, but his body still worked like a fucking charm - “Gonna party till they take us away! Lose my mind – gonna lose my mind! - Yeeaah!” - His hand shot forward as he pointed straight at Nate and snapped his hips so smooth and perfect Nate bit his lip to keep from crying out - “Gonna party till they take us away!”
The song ended abruptly, the music instantly quiet. The room went silent. Nate shuddered, his back pressed hard against the side of the booth, his eyes glued to Kyle, not seeing anyone else – just Kyle. He tried to breathe but his throat clenched, squeezing the air trying to pass in and out of his lungs.
The guy's left arm slowly lowered but the microphone remained hovering near his lips as he stared at Nate, his chest heaving, his staggered breath pumping into the microphone and out of the speakers – the only sound in the room. Nate could feel all eyes on him, but he was only truly aware of Kyle.
♦
The sudden silence rang in Kyle's ears along with the fierce thump of his heart. His ragged breath puffed from between his slightly parted lips, reverberating out of the speakers and throughout the deathly still room. He gripped the microphone in his fist, squeezing until his wrist and arm ached, to prevent his hand from shaking.
Nate just stared at him from the booth, his eyes undecipherable. But he didn't move, didn't speak. And a sudden sliver of fear burrowed into Kyle's heart. Oh God, did I just fuck up – again? Did I go too far? I just wanted to show him, prove to him...
The words were slipping off his lips before he could consider if what he was saying were things that should be said before everyone. “I love you, Nate.” His voice shuddered into the microphone and rippled out of the speakers for all to hear. “I've loved you all my life...even when we were kids. I thought...I thought we were just friends then, but...” His words squeezed with emotion. “We were never just friends, Nate...I always loved you...even when I was afraid to tell you so.” The microphone felt slick in his damp palm and his hand shook a little as he tried to keep it from slipping free. “I always knew you were the one.” His eyes burned. “Always, baby.”
Please don't be mad at me, Nate. Please...
♦
There was that look. The one that could knock Nate to his knees faster than any other that Kyle gave him. The look Kyle would adopt at times, right after doing something wild and crazy – and usually embarrassing the shit out of Nate – that was laced in the fear that he'd crossed the line just a little too far and pissed Nate off...or hurt him somehow.
He was there now, staring back at Nate – that insecure boy that hid so well beneath his cocky, smart ass exterior, but every now and then peeked out to see if he'd finally fucked up too much, burned a bridge that couldn't be rebuilt.
Nate bit his lower lip. His eyes stung. He loved that boy – he was so fucking cute.
Kyle's words lingered strong in the air. His profession of love. Not caring who heard. Only caring that Nate understood – really understood – that he loved him. No bullshit, no nothing. Just raw, real love.
“When I was a breath away from...death.” Kyle's voice trembled. “What you did for me...to try and save my life.” His lips pressed tight as his eyes began to shimmer. “I don't even know how...how to comprehend it. That you could love me like that.”
Warm tears blurred Nate's vision as Kyle swam before him.
“It might be Ian's heart...that saved my life.” He whispered into the microphone. “But it's your heart, Nate...that makes that life worth living.”
Soft murmurs sifted through the crowd. Some of those watching, listening, wiped at their eyes.
“If all of this was too much.” Kyle's breath caught, his voice breaking. “I'm sorry. I know I go too far sometimes.” He choked on a short laugh. “Most of the time.”
Nate pushed away from the booth and walked towards Kyle. He could feel the entire crowd holding their breath as he approached the guy. Kyle stood stone still – and looking sexy as hell in his black leather pants and tight, bright pink shirt with Proven Penis Enlarger plastered across the front in the sparkling rainbow letters. The shirt sucked to Kyle's torso, nearly drenched with sweat, defining each and every muscle in his chest and stomach. His tight pants defining other muscles just as well.
It's so fucking cute that you think I might be mad at you.
Nate's hand curled around Kyle's as he leaned down until his lips were nearly touching Kyle's mouth, as well as the microphone. “Baby.” He murmured, his voice rising slowly. “I loooved it!”
The crowd came to life in an instant, screaming and whistling.
“You are so fucking sexy, baby.” Nate grinned, inciting more whistles and shouts of agreement. He kissed Kyle hard, dragging him into his arms and squeezing tight, wrenching more whoops and hollers from the people.
“I love you.” Nate shuddered as Kyle still clutched the microphone. “I love your craziness, your insanity.” He grinned and kissed him again then touched his forehead to Kyle's brow – and winked. “I love my wild Kyle.”
The crowd went crazy, clapping and shouting and whistling.
Nate covered Kyle's hand again as the guy just stared at him. Speechless? Kyle? Who would've thought it possible? Nate grinned and spoke low into the microphone, his lips close to Kyle's. “Now unless you want me to embarrass us both in the worst way, right here on the floor...you better get that pizza to go.”
"Hold Me Now, Touch Me Now”
♦
“I N E E D you to promise me you'll be careful.”
Nate stood alone in the kitchen with Greyson. The older man gazed at him intently.
“Of course.” Nate said. “I'll watch out for Kyle. You know I will.”
Clearing his throat, Greyson clamped his hands on his hips and stared at the floor. One hand went to the back of his neck, scratching absently. “Of course I know you'll look out for him.” Greyson said low, then raised his eyes without really lifting his head. “That isn't exactly what I meant.”
“What...” Nate's voice faltered as he suddenly caught the man's meaning. “Oh...uh...” He cleared his throat as warmth seeped into his cheeks and he emitted a short laugh.
“I'm not blind.” Greyson said quietly. “I see how much you and Kyle love one another. And...” He pressed his lips tight, nodding slowly, his eyes creeping back to the floor. “How much you...want to express it.”
Nate shifted uncomfortably. “Uh...yeah.” He swallowed tightly.
Lifting his head, Greyson looked at him directly. “Kyle is doing well. His sternum is nearly completely healed. All his tests have come back satisfactory. But...I'd still advise against too much...activity all at once. Best not to take chances. I want to be sure he is fully recovered before his heart is put to the test to that degree.”
“I understand.”
“I know you do.” Greyson said. “But I also know how quickly things can get out of hand, even when you don't intend for it to.” He shifted and cleared his throat again. “You and Kyle are barely...containing yourselves now. And that's with Janice and myself constantly around. When you're back home...there's not going to be anyone to help rein you in.”
Nate licked his lips slowly. “I won't let it get out of control.” Greyson looked doubtful and, frankly, Nate felt doubtful but still he added, “I promise. I'll keep things under control.”
Greyson's warning – and Nate's promise – consumed in the heat of the fire surging through both young men and exploded into ashes as Nate kicked open the bedroom door, causing it to slam back hard against the wall. Kyle was clutched in his arms as they came through the doorway in a frenzied rush, their bodies glued together, lips locked and breath panting into one another's mouths.
They dropped on the bed hard and Kyle clawed at Nate's shirt, tearing open the front, snapping buttons, ripping the button holes. As soon as Nate's chest became exposed, Kyle's mouth was on him, biting, sucking. Finding a stiff nipple, he clamped on with his teeth as he tugged and jerked Nate's shirt the rest of the way off.
“Fuck!” Nate hissed when Kyle bit harder then sucked – his warm, velvet tongue sliding all over the hard bud. His throbbing crotch ground against Kyle's, the guy's hunger for him pressing fiercely against the tight leather pants.
A sharp, erratic breath exploded out of him and he slid down Kyle's body and onto his knees on the floor at the edge of the bed, grabbing Kyle's hips and dragging him down closer. His hands rubbed firmly up Kyle's leather clad thighs then he dragged his palms over his hard crotch, squeezing and massaging.
“Fuck! Nate!” Kyle's breath burst up his throat on a sharp, severe gasp. His hands dropped and covered Nate's, helping him rub his throbbing member through his tight pants.
Nate pushed Kyle's hands away then rubbed his own up the guy's body, working them under Kyle's damp, clinging shirt, groping his hard stomach and further up to his chest. He grabbed at Kyle's bulging crotch with his teeth, causing Kyle to whimper and buck. His tongue licked all over the sleek leather, tracing the contours of Kyle's fierce erection underneath.
“Fuck, baby...” Kyle whimpered hard, panting, clawing the bedspread.
A low, thick groan rolled up Nate's throat and his hands rubbed down over Kyle's quivering stomach, across his hips then worked under his ass, squeezing his perfect cheeks through the exceedingly tight leather, pressing his fingertips into the crease of his ass.
“Uuuhh! Fuuuck!” Kyle arched his hips, giving Nate's hands more room to maneuver.
“Fuck, Kyle.” Nate gasped against his pulsing crotch as his lips grabbed and sucked at his hardness. “How the fuck did you even get into these?”
A shuddery laugh rolled up Kyle's throat. “Wasn't easy.” He grinned, panting, as Nate continued to fondle his ass and nibble at his crotch. “Didn't know if the goods were gonna make it in.” he chuckled, trembling. “But they managed.”
“Barely.” Nate covered his bulge with his mouth and sucked hard.
“God!” Kyle's hands clamped onto the back of Nate's head as he lifted his hips.
Nate drew back, rising up on his knees, and grabbed Kyle's hips in a tight grip and flipped him onto his stomach then shoved him further onto the bed as he crawled up, sliding one knee onto the edge of the mattress and rubbing his hands strongly up the back of Kyle's thighs then clutching his ass cheeks.
“Fu-uck, baby.” Nate groaned, squeezing his ass hard through the clinging leather. “You have thee perfect ass. Mmm!”
“So what you said...at the cabin?” Kyle moaned. “About my ass...you were lying?”
Nate squeezed his ass harder and leaned down. “Lying through my fucking teeth.” He bit Kyle's ass cheek through the leather, making the guy flinch and suck in a sharp breath. Nate pressed his tongue firmly against the crease of Kyle's ass and dragged it slowly up the length of it.
“Fuck.” Kyle gasped and pressed his face against the bedspread, squeezing the blankets in his fists.
Like a sledge hammer, Nate's heart crashed against his ribs, his breath staggered and quick. He rubbed his hands up under the back of Kyle's shirt, shoving it upward. Tight and damp, the fabric rolled rather than scrunched, as Nate pushed it up over his shoulder blades. His lips touched the slight curving depression of Kyle's back just above his tail bone, kissing, sucking the sweat from his heated skin. A quiver ran through Kyle's body and his breath shuddered against the blankets, his fists squeezing tighter.
“Uuhhh...” Kyle whimpered when Nate's warm tongue touched his spine, the soft tip tracing up over each vertebrae as Nate's body moved up over the top of Kyle's and his lips kissed the guy's wet skin between his shoulder blades, causing another shudder to flutter through him.
Nate sat back a little and slid his arm under Kyle's waist, drawing the man up off the bed a bit as he used his other hand to peel Kyle's shirt off over his head. Kyle helped, tugging it loose and tossing is aside. His hands flattened against the bed, supporting himself as Nate held him with one arm around the waist, straddling his ass, his hard crotch grinding against Kyle's cheeks. His free hand rubbed down the side of Kyle's ribs slowly, firmly, then lower across his hip, his lower abdomen and between his thighs, gripping his steel crotch.
“FFFFuck.” Kyle gasped, biting his lip hard, his head dropping forward then snapping back, his teeth clenching as Nate rubbed him, massaging with his whole hand.
The fever in Kyle's skin seared Nate's chest as his body hugged against the guy's back. He kissed the curve of his shoulder, biting the muscle. Kyle shuddered and twisted his head, exposing his neck as Nate's teeth grabbed at the protruding tendon. His other hand found its way to Kyle's crotch. His fingers trembled as he worked open the front of the leather pants and slowly unzipped them then worked his hand down inside. There wasn't much room in there, but enough.
“Ahhh!” Kyle's body jerked as Nate rubbed his hard, bare flesh with both hands. Shaking, Kyle held himself up with one arm as he used his other hand to work frantically at his pants, struggling to shove them down over his hips – and failing. “Fuck! Get these off me, Nate!”
Nate chuckled and drew back, then worked Kyle up onto his knees in front of him. But rather than tugging off his pants, he held him up, Kyle's back pressed against Nate's chest, as he shoved down just the front of the leather pants, releasing Kyle's fierce hunger. Nate gripped the inside of Kyle's thigh with one hand and wrapped the other around his hardened cock.
“Fuck, baby!” Kyle's fingernails dug into Nate's arms, his head dropping back onto Nate's shoulder as he thrust his hips, driving himself through Nate's fist.
“I love how hard you get.” Nate groaned against Kyle's ear as he squeezed just a fraction and stroked him slowly. “When you're wanting me so fucking bad.”
Kyle just grunted and worked his hips more urgently, fucking Nate's strong hand, his tightly encased ass rocking against Nate's aching crotch.
Fuck, I'm gonna lose my mind, Nate trembled, the ache spreading and throbbing, pulsing. He released Kyle's thigh and slid his hand down behind the man, gripping his ass, rubbing, massaging, squeezing his perfectly rounded cheeks, aching like a motherfucker to be inside his lover.
“Fuck!” A hard breath burst up Nate's throat and he shoved Kyle forward onto his hands and knees, then rubbed his hands down over his ass, squeezing hard. He bit his ass cheeks again as Kyle dropped down on his elbows and tucked his head between his arms, panting loud, breath erratic.
“Please, Nate...” Kyle whimpered, his voice cracking. “Please, baby...just fuck me already.”
Nate rubbed his hands hard over his ass, his thumbs pressing hard up through the crease of his cheeks. He teased his hole through the sleek leather, the tip of his thumb rubbing and working forcefully.
“Fuuuck!” Kyle's back arched, his head snapping up and back. He reached under himself and grabbed his own raging erection and began pumping as his head dropped back down against the bed again. “Fuck...” His breath exploded against the blankets.
Kissing the small of his back, Nate dug his fingers under the waist band of the pants and pulled them off Kyle's hips – not without effort – and down over his ass, exposing his beautiful flesh.
Fuck, baby, you are so delicious. Nate groaned and worked the pants down his thighs a bit then rubbed his hands back up over his naked, rounded ass cheeks. His fingertips gouged into Kyle's flesh as Nate groaned in near agony at the sight before him. He spread his cheeks then dragged his tongue slowly up through the crease.
“Fuuuck!!!” Kyle released himself and clutched the blankets in tight fistfuls, his body jerking and arching. “Fuck, Nate! Oh my god...Oh fuck, baby...don't stop...”
Nate's hands caressed around to the front of his hips and gripped securely as he traced Kyle's tight entrance with the tip of his tongue then plunged through. Kyle jerked forward, releasing a sharp gasping cry, then thrust back again for more. Nate's tongue flicked against his hole rapidly, ripping short, hard gasps from Kyle. His hands raked over the back of his head and his teeth clamped onto the blankets.
“Uuhh!! Fuck! Fuuuck!!” Kyle's hands dropped away from his head and he clawed the blankets again, his hips twisting, working against Nate's tongue. “Oh fuck, baby...I can't take it...you're gonna make me cum with just your tongue!”
As if to say the idea appealed to him, Nate reached under him and gripped his rigid cock and began stroking him as he continued to tongue his tight hole.
“Fuu-uck! God dammit, Nate!!”
“It's okay, baby.” Nate groaned, biting the inside walls of his ass cheeks. “Cum for me. I'll get you hard again...no worries.”
“God!!” Kyle wailed. His body clenched and curled in on itself than arched as his wail escalated into a scream. “FFFFuuuck!!! Naaaate!!”
Kyle jerked hard, screamed again and bit down fiercely on the blankets, his fingers gouging the bed as his face shoved against the pillow, muffling his cries – then he came with force as Nate pumped him fast, firm.
His body remained tight with tension for a few moments, shudders rippling through him, his breath puffing hard against the pillow. When some of the tension began to release him, Nate turned him over on his back. He panted erratically, his chest heaving, eyes watery, and skin glistening with sweat.
Nate slid off the bed and worked the leather pants down his legs and off his feet, then rubbed his hands back up his legs, his lips kissing his heated skin, following his hands. Kyle's member lay thick and heavy against his stomach. Nate could tell just by the look of it that it wouldn't take much to get him back to where he wanted him. And he knew just how to get him there.
Shaky breath puffed off Kyle's lips. He wiped his hand over his face and trembled as Nate's mouth moved up his inner thigh, dropping warm kisses as he crept closer to his destination.
Clutching his head, Kyle squeezed his eyes shut and groaned low, unsteady, as Nate's velvet tongue slipped over the surface of his balls then licked up the underside of his pulsing cock, grabbing up the residue of cum that seeped from the tip.
Nate moaned, savoring the taste of Kyle's love. “God, baby.” he moaned again. “You taste so good.” He dragged his tongue up over the thick head and sucked at the sensitive V groove on the underside.
“Shit!” Kyle's breath caught suddenly, his hips jerking. His fingers squeezed around the bedspread, balling the blankets in his fists. “Nate...”
Kyle's fingers slid through Nate's hair as he lifted his hips. An electric shock snapped through Nate's body. He loved the feel of Kyle's fingers combing through his hair – whether during sex or just casual cuddling. It was soothing, comforting...and turned Nate on to no ends.
♦
The soft strands of Nate's hair slipped between Kyle's fingers. He caressed the guy's head with his fingertips and moaned low, tight as Nate's lips grabbed at the head of his dick, wrapped around it then slowly sucked it into his warm, wet mouth.
“Oh fuck!” Kyle gasped, then whimpered, pressing his lips tight, suppressing a squealing cry that swelled in his throat.
Nate took him in – all the way. His mouth felt so good, like warm silk encasing his hard flesh, squeezing, sucking, stroking. Every time Nate took him in this way, he was sure he would lose his mind for real. The man knew how to push him to the brink then pull him back at the last moment, over and over again until he had Kyle screaming, begging for release. And this time was no different. He was working his magic, drawing Kyle's cock deep into his throat, stroking in perfect rhythm, sucking with just the right amount of pressure...getting Kyle harder and harder.
“Oh god, Nate.” Shudders seemed to ripple across the surface of Kyle's skin. Funny, tingling sensations were spiraling through his lower stomach and groin. He could feel his balls growing heavier as they refilled with pure liquid love for the man going down on him. He squeezed Nate's hair between his fingers and buried himself inside the guy's mouth. “Uuuhhh...fuck...”
Nate stroked faster, his amazing mouth never losing suction as it glided up and down his thickening shaft.
“Ahhhh!” Kyle choked on a cry, his head shoving back hard into the pillow. He clutched Nate's hair tighter, clenching it in his fists. “Oh fuck Nate! Please fuck me! Please fuck me now!”
A low moan vibrated in Nate's throat and shuddered through Kyle's hard flesh, then he pulled his mouth slowly up Kyle's cock, sucking firmly as he went, tearing a staggered cry from him. Nate let the plump head slip from between his lips then licked across the surface, sending another tremor through Kyle as he raised his eyes to Kyle's fevered stare. He dropped one last kiss on Kyle's cock, then backed off the bed, standing up.
Kyle lay motionless, watching as Nate slowly unfastened his black jeans then shoved them and his briefs down over his hips, down his legs to his feet, then stepped out of them. He stood before Kyle in all his luscious glory, hard as steel, and the look in his gorgeous eyes betraying his desire to fuck Kyle senseless.
Oh god, baby, come and take me, fuck me till I scream – then fuck me some more.
♦
Before Nate could move, even start to crawl back on the bed – Kyle was on his hands and knees again, his ass backed up to the edge of the bed. Fuck, Nate shuddered inwardly and stepped closer, rubbing his hands over Kyle's lovely ass cheeks. Fuck, he has the prettiest ass ever. Even for Nate, it felt weird calling a guy's ass pretty. But fuck if Kyle's wasn't.
Raising his hand to his mouth, Nate spit in his palm then rubbed it into the shaft of his dick, took more saliva and coated Kyle's entrance. Kyle's head dropped down and he groaned as Nate's fingers worked around and inside his tight hole.
“Fuck.” Kyle hissed when Nate buried one finger inside him and stroked, finding the sweet spot only seconds before Kyle yelled out and rammed his ass back against Nate's finger. “Fuck!”
Nate stroked him a few times as the guy began to move in rhythm, moaning loud, then pulled out and positioned the head of his cock at Kyle's entrance. Kyle whimpered and his body trembled – igniting the fire inside Nate, transforming it into a raging firestorm. He grabbed Kyle's hips and began to pull the guy back on him.
“Fuuuck!” Kyle cried out as Nate's thick, solid head squeezed through Kyle's tight hole, spreading him open for the rest of him. “Oh fuck! Fuck, Nate! Uhhh-Uhh! Oh god!” He dropped down on his elbows and raked his fingers over his head, wailing into the blankets.
His fingers digging into Kyle's hips, Nate pushed forward, shoving deeper inside his lover's body. “Ahhhh!!” Nate's head bent back, his eyes squeezing shut as Kyle's hot, oh-so-tight caverns engulfed his hard flesh, clenching him, pulling him deeper. “Fuuuck! Baby! Oh fuck, you're so tight, Kyle...oh god...you feel so good!”
Kyle's arms shook as he pushed back up on his hands and shoved his ass back against Nate. “Fuck me, baby.” He trembled. “Fuck me so hard, so good.”
Nate clutched his hips and planted one foot on the bed as he began to thrust into Kyle's body with strong, deep strokes. “Oh fuck.” He shuddered, gouging Kyle's flesh with his nails. He leaned into it, driving in harder.
“Oh Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Kyle's breath burst out of him sharp and ragged and broken. “Oh god! Nate! Nate! Oh fuck, baby! Fuck me!” His words broke and shattered, leaving him with only ragged sounds - “Uuuhhh!! Uhh-Uhh-Ahhhh!!”
Nate fucked him harder, slamming in deeper, his jaw clenched and growls and grunts exploding out of him. “Fuck!” He shouted suddenly and pushed Kyle down on his stomach, landing on top of him, his body glued tight to Kyle's as he fucked him with urgency and desperation. His arms snaked up under Kyle's chest and locked the guy in as Nate shoved his face against the back of his head, driving into him.
Arching back against him, Kyle's cries turned ragged, his breath glitching and breaking, exploding out of him harder, faster, shorter. Nate clutched his chest, his fingertips gouging into his damp skin, raking across the scar that ran down the center between his pecs. Kyle's heart pounded erratically against Nate's palms, beating hard against his chest wall – and fear suddenly clawed at Nate's mind, halting him in an instant.
What the fuck are you doing?!
Nate shuddered against Kyle's damp, trembling body, his own heart going crazy inside his chest.
Promise me you'll be careful.
“Fuck.” Nate choked and pressed his lips to the back of Kyle's damp neck.
“What...” Kyle panted, shaking. “What...what's wrong? Don't stop, Nate...not now.”
His eyes stinging – whether from fear, frustration or both, he didn't know – Nate pushed himself up off Kyle and sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. His body screamed to be back inside Kyle, inside his heat, his tightness.
Fuck! How could you be so irresponsible?
Kyle turned over and sat up behind him. “Nate?” He touched his back then scooted closer and kissed his shoulder, his breath shaky. “Nate, what's wrong? Why...why did you stop?”
“I promised I wouldn't let this get out of hand.” He whispered tightly. “I swore I could keep it under control.”
Kyle frowned and pressed his lips to Nate's damp shoulder. “What're you talking about? Promised who?”
Straightening up, Nate cleared his throat. “The doc.” He said. “I promised we wouldn't...” he let the words roll away.
“You promised Greyson that...you wouldn't fuck me hard?” Nate could feel the smirk stretching Kyle's lips against Nate's skin.
Nate groaned and dropped his head back into his hands. “Something like that.”
Kyle cleared his throat, stifling a chuckle. “Well...that must have been an uncomfortable conversation.”
“A little bit.” Nate admitted tightly. Then added, “He doesn't think we should be taking chances just yet. He wants you fully recovered.” Nate twisted his head and looked at him. “And after your little performance earlier...we shouldn't be pushing our luck.” He shook his head. “It's too much...all at once.”
“I feel fine.” Kyle murmured, kissing Nate's neck. “Being sexually repressed puts more stress on the heart, than just doing it.”
Nate chuckled and shook his head. “The wisdom of Kyle.”
Kyle hugged his neck and smirked. “It's always got me through.”
“No.” Nate turned around and grabbed Kyle's face, kissing his mouth. “I always got you through – when your wisdom landed you in a jam.”
Shrugging, Kyle grinned and flopped back down on the bed, tucking his arms under his head. “Could have been that way, I don't remember.” He tapped the side of his head. “I think they removed selective parts of my memory with the tumor.”
“How convenient for you.” Nate muttered, his lips twitching. “Whenever you're wrong about something – you can just say you don't remember.”
Kyle chuckled. “Works for me.”
Shaking his head again, Nate just stared at the guy gazing back at him, his lips curved in that sexy smirk, his eyes glowing. The image of him there thrust Nate back to that night at the cabin. So many misconceptions, misunderstandings. He'd had no idea how close he'd been to losing Kyle forever. Had he known...it would have crippled him.
“Hey.” Kyle snapped his fingers.
Nate blinked then cleared his throat. “Huh?”
“Looked like you were a million miles away.” His lips stretched and twisted. “Not thinking about someone else, are ya? After all I did for you tonight?”
Laughing softly, Nate shook his head. “All you did for me.”
Kyle nudged him with his knee. “You said you loved it...or was that just for show? To appease the audience?”
A flicker of uncertainty shadowed Kyle's eyes for a brief moment then vanished. Nate grinned and leaned over, kissing Kyle's lips softly. “I did love it. Didn't know you could be that sexy.”
“I did.” Kyle smirked, then laughed when Nate rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation.
Nate scooted up on the bed beside Kyle, gripped his hips and pulled his ass back against him.
A soft moan slipped up Kyle's throat when Nate began to press in between his warm cheeks. “I thought we weren't supposed to do this?” His breath had already quickened a notch or so and Nate could feel him pushing back to him.
“We're not supposed to go at it wild and crazy.” Nate's own breath was quickly growing ragged as he nudged Kyle's tight entrance then began to push inside the guy. “But if we keep it under control...there should be no harm.”
Kyle shuddered as Nate pushed deeper inside him. “And is that the wisdom of Nate?” he smirked, his voice unsteady.
“Mmm-Hmm.” Nate breathed out low, uneven, and kissed Kyle's ear. “And don't argue with it.”
“As long as it allows you to fuck me.” Kyle moaned. “I won't argue.”
Sliding his arms around Kyle's stomach, Nate pulled him back on him tighter, burying himself deeper inside his body.
“Oh fuck!” Kyle gasped and tensed as Nate's arms squeezed around him and he gave one strong thrust, sinking in all the way.
“Oh my god.” Nate groaned sharply. He worked his hips, grinding, searching for that special place inside Kyle.
“Ahh! Fuck!” Kyle yelled out, arching back hard against Nate, his nails digging at his arms. “Oh fuck, baby! That's the spot! Right there! Stay right there – and just fuck me!”
Nate withdrew one arm from around his waist and wrapped it around his neck, turning Kyle's face around to his. His kissed him, again and again, as he thrust his cock into his lover over and over. He slid his hand under Kyle's upper leg and lifted it as he began to thrust into him a bit harder, forcing himself to remain in control and not just cut loose on the guy again.
“Ahh fuck! Nate!” The back of Kyle's head pressed hard against Nate's shoulder. Nate rubbed his hand up the man's throat, cupping him firmly but not choking him. His thumb caressed up over the curve of Kyle's jaw then turned his face again to Nate's. A deep moan swelled inside Kyle as Nate claimed his mouth and kissed him with passion.
Kyle's arm curled back up and around Nate's neck, pulling him down deeper into the kiss.
“I love you.” Nate broke the kiss with a hard gasp then grabbed Kyle's lips again. “I love you, baby.”
A choking whimper shuddered out of Kyle as his arm squeezed Nate's neck. “I love you, Nate.”
Nate released his leg and wrapped his arm around his body, hugging him tight, feeling his own orgasm swelling fast. “Fuck! Kyle.” He gasped. “I'm almost there.” His hand wrapped around Kyle's cock and he stroked him with urgency as he fucked him a little harder. “Come with me, baby.” Nate panted, his breath breaking and crashing against Kyle's lips. “I want to feel you come again.”
His body moving in rhythm with Nate's, Kyle's breath cut out and grew short, sharp, ragged. “Oh fu..Oh fu..! Gaahhh!!” Kyle twisted and arched, Nate's hand squeezing harder and pumping faster. “I'm gonna...fu…fuuuuck! Nate!”
“Fuuuck! Kyle!” Nate yelled, his orgasm clenching his entire body. He bit down on Kyle's shoulder as he felt the man spasm hard and unload just moments before Nate burst inside him. “Fuck! Oh god! Oh fuu...fuck! Yes!” Nate thrust at him erratically, emptying himself until there was nothing left to pour into him.
He squeezed Kyle's body tight as the orgasm continued to grip him then finally released its hold, and he relaxed, sagging against Kyle's damp, hot body. Kyle trembled in his arms, his breathing unsteady, chest heaving.
“Are you okay?” Nate's voice shook. He kissed Kyle's shoulder, his neck, his ear. “Are you okay, baby?”
Kyle tried to speak but nothing came out. He nodded unsteadily and pressed back against Nate's damp body. “I love you.” he shuddered, emotion tightening his words. “I love you so much, Nate.” He swallowed thickly and ran his trembling hands down Nate's forearms, his fingertips tracing the scars. “I'm...I'm glad your plan failed.” He turned over and buried his face in Nate's throat and Nate felt his warm tears dripping onto his skin. “I couldn't have lived this life without you. I would rather be dead... than to be here alone.”
“So would I.” Nate choked softly and hugged him tight. “But I had to try to save you. I couldn't just...watch you die.”
Kyle raised his head, his face streaked with tears. He rubbed his thumb across Nate's cheek, wiping away his tears. “I would've done the same for you.”
Pressure tightened Nate's chest, his throat squeezing. “I know.” He kissed his lips. “I know, baby.”
Kyle cuddled closer and pressed his face to Nate's throat and closed his eyes. Nate rubbed his hand up the back of Kyle's warm head, his fingers skipping through the man's short layer of hair.
“Will you stay awake until I fall asleep?” Kyle mumbled, sleep already coaxing him away.
Nate smiled and kissed his head softly, then murmured against his hair. “I always do, baby.”
“A Little Piece Of Heaven On Earth”
♦
“S O, doc? Am I gonna live?”
Kyle slid off the exam table and pulled on his shirt.
“Looks that way.” Dr. Hollis removed the stethoscope, folded it and stuffed it in the large side pocket of his white lab coat.
“So everything is good?” Greyson and Janice stood off to the side with Nate, whose hands were stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans as he leaned against the wall and stared at the floor, casting occasional glances towards Kyle and Dr. Hollis.
Though these checkups were necessary, Nate hated being here. Just the smell of a clinic or hospital now instantly caused his stomach to pinch with nausea and his chest tighten with anxiety. And with every visit – there lingered the possibility that they would find something wrong.
Hollis took hold of Kyle's wrist and pressed two fingers against it firmly, checking his watch. “Pulse is a bit fast.” he said. “But nothing to be alarmed about.”
Nothing to be alarmed about. Nate still found himself tensing up. Had they pushed things too far the other night up at his place? First Kyle's little show, and then...had it all attributed to his current quickened heart rate now?
Kyle glanced at them all as he tucked his t-shirt into his jeans. “If y'all wanted to watch me take off my clothes.” He smirked. “At least give me a stage and a pole, and let me undress in style.”
Nate's head lifted and Kyle winked at him.
“Kyle James Haney!” Janice scolded.
Biting his lips between his teeth, Nate struggled to suppress the grin fighting for dominance. He tugged one hand from his pocket and quickly rubbed it over his mouth as he choked on a laugh then cleared his throat to disguise it.
Didn't work.
Janice looked at him a bit sharply as Kyle started laughing. What little control Nate had, abandoned him instantly and a hard laugh burst out of him. He ducked as Janice's hand came up as if to smack him.
“Hey, the boy knows what he likes.” Kyle grinned, and both Greyson and Dr. Hollis chuckled.
Rolling her eyes, Janice shook her head. “Men.” Which only got her more laughs. “You're all incorrigible.”
Nate grinned. “Better use smaller words if you want your son to understand.”
Kyle bit back a 'Fuck you' just seconds before it leaped off his tongue. He bit his lip as the words pressed to get out. Instead, his hand shot up and flipped off Nate.
“Did you see that, mom?” Nate said. “Kyle just gave me the finger.”
“Tattle tale.” Kyle sneered.
“If you want to keep that finger, buddy boy.” Janice said. “You'll not use it like that again.”
Kyle scowled at Nate as the guy smirked backed. “Yes ma'am.” He mumbled then shot Nate a dark, somewhat evil smile that warned – Just wait till we're alone.
Nate raised an eyebrow and smirked. Bring it on, baby.
When the exam was officially over, Greyson and Janice hung back to speak with Hollis while Nate and Kyle left the exam room.
Kyle punched Nate in the arm, without warning, as soon as they stepped into the hall.
“Hey!” Nate laughed and grabbed his arm. “What was that for?”
“Did you see that, mom? Kyle just gave me the finger.” Kyle mimicked, his lips twisted. “You're such a fucking snitch.”
Nate grinned. “You were being mean to me.”
“Oh fuck.” Kyle laughed and shoved his shoulder against Nate's, rolling his eyes. “What a sissy.”
“Yeah.” Nate chuffed. “I'm the sissy in this relationship.”
“About time you finally admitted it.” Kyle smirked then laughed when Nate's arm shot out and grabbed him around the neck, dragging him against him, locking him in tight.
“What was that?” Nate growled in his ear.
“You heard me.” Kyle gripped Nate's arm, grinning. “Now let me go, I gotta take a piss.”
Nate released him without argument and followed him to the restroom door. Halting as he grabbed the door handle, Kyle looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. “I can do this on my own.” he said, then his eyes swept over Nate's body. “Unless you want to hold it for me.”
“Just get the fuck in there.” Nate reached around him and shoved open the door. “The last time I let you go to the restroom alone, you ended up behind a microphone, embarrassing the shit out of me.”
Kyle chuckled as they both stepped into the small restroom. “Yeah, whatever. You were so turned on, you were ready to fuck me right there in front of everyone.”
The door closed behind them and Nate locked it. “Go on, do your business.”
Kyle went to the toilet and stood with his back to Nate as he unfastened his jeans. He glanced over his shoulder and grinned. “No peeking.”
“Yeah.” Nate shook his head. “As if there's anything to see.” He grinned and stared across the small room at his reflection in the mirror above the sink.
Kyle did his business then fastened up his pants. “Right.” He smirked and turned to the sink. “That's why you were wailing like a banshee when I was fucking you up at the cabin.”
“Oh, I see. So you remember that.” Nate snorted. “What happened to this memory loss of yours?”
“It comes and goes.” Kyle washed his hands, smirking at Nate in the mirror. He dried his hands then turned around and leaned against the sink, hands gripping the edge of the porcelain lightly. His gaze slowly moved over Nate's body.
“We're not gonna fuck in the bathroom.” Nate said, his lips twisting with a smile.
“What?” Kyle grinned. “I didn't say anything about fucking. Jeez, man. Is that all you think about?”
Nate hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans and just smiled at Kyle. The guy continued to survey him, and his eyes were like fingertips caressing Nate's skin, causing a low throb to settle in his crotch.
“But since you brought it up...” Kyle shoved away from the sink and stepped over closer to Nate and slipped his hands under Nate's shirt, rubbing slowly up his stomach and chest.
A sharp breath caught in Nate's throat, then his head pressed back against the door when Kyle's hands moved around behind him and down lower, working beneath the waistband of his jeans, delving inside his pants to grip handfuls of hard ass cheeks.
“Mmm!” Nate pressed his lips tight as Kyle's fingertips played through the crack of his ass.
“You sure you don't wanna fuck?” Kyle's mouth was on Nate's throat, his hot breath puffing against his skin. He rubbed his crotch against Nate's. “'Cause something is telling me you do.”
A tight groan rolled up Nate's throat. He gripped Kyle's arms, sliding his hands up to the man's shoulders. His fingers gripped the guy's shirt and he ached to rip it off him, but Hollis' words raced around inside his head.
Pulse is a bit fast.
His palms flattened on Kyle's shoulders, tightening his hold. “Come on, man.” Nate shuddered, his breath uneven. “You heard Hollis.”
“I heard him say there was nothing to be alarmed about.” Kyle's warm, wet tongue slithered up over Nate's Adam's apple, his breath hot. “Since that night back up at your place...you've practically cut me off. You don't want me to have another meltdown now do ya?” Kyle grinned against his throat then moved up and nipped his earlobe.
“It's only been a few days.” Nate groaned again. In truth, those few days had been torture for him too. But he had to be the one to set the limitations, 'cause Kyle sure as hell wouldn't. The guy didn't seem to get it that they couldn't go full boar ahead, day after day, without the risk of a setback. Still, he ducked his head, sought out Kyle's mouth and kissed him hard. His hands slid up the sides of Kyle's head and gripped him firm as his tongue thrust in the guy's mouth.
Kyle whimpered and shoved against him harder, his crotch like steel against Nate's own. His fingers squeezed and gouged Nate's ass cheeks, pulling their bodies tighter together. He gasped into Nate's mouth. “I want you so fucking bad.” He trembled, his teeth grabbing at Nate's lower lip. His hands moved around to the front of Nate's jeans and shoved down inside.
“Fuck!” Nate hissed between clamped teeth, his breath catching and sticking in his suddenly tight throat. He sucked in a sharp breath and pressed back against the door as Kyle's hands rubbed and worked at his stiff flesh. He bit back a cry that threatened to be far too audible, and swallowed hard, forcing it back down his throat.
Kyle's teeth nipped at a rigid nipple through Nate's t-shirt, causing the guy to jerk hard, his back smacking against the door.
“Fuck, Kyle.” Nate was beginning to shake with need. If he didn't put a stop to it now, they would end up going at it right here in the bathroom. He squeezed Kyle's shoulders but for a moment didn't have the will to shove the guy back and force him to take his hands away.
The man was slowly making his way down Nate's body, his mouth grabbing at Nate's skin through his t-shirt. There was no guessing where he was headed, and the idea of his being there extracted an agonized whimper out of Nate.
Kyle withdrew his hands and worked at the snap of Nate's jeans, his breath puffing out of him, ragged and scratchy.
“Kyle.” Nate choked on his need then covered Kyle's hands with his own, halting their progress. “Come on, baby...stop.”
“That isn't what you really want.” Kyle's voice shuddered out of him thick and raspy.
“No...it isn't.” Nate admitted, still gripping Kyle's hands. “But...we have to stop.”
Kyle's mouth was suddenly on his throat, biting his tender skin, sucking his flesh. “I want you in my mouth, baby.” he whispered, his desperation and intense hunger clawing at Nate's mind, heart and body. “I've been fantasizing about sucking you all morning.” His tongue flicked out and licked the curve of Nate's jaw. “Just a little taste?” He grinned. “A couple licks?”
Laughing, Nate shook his head. “Like you could give me just a couple licks then walk away.”
“Don't think I have the will power?”
“No, I don't.” Nate chuckled. “But that's not the point – I wouldn't let you walk away once you touch me with that mouth.”
Kyle smirked and grabbed Nate's skin in his teeth. “So let's get to it.”
With a mind of their own, Nate's hands were suddenly on Kyle's ass, gripping hard. “Stop fucking tempting me.” Nate groaned. “It isn't good for my soul.”
“What soul?” Kyle bit him just hard enough to tear a short, sharp gasp from Nate.
“Fuck.” Nate squeezed Kyle's ass fiercely and laughed unsteadily. “Would you stop? Your mom and Greyson are gonna be back out at the car in a few minutes, wondering where we are.”
The guy's warm lips moved up the side of Nate's neck and played with his earlobe. “So let them wonder.” he murmured. “We're big boys. We don't need constant supervision.”
A somewhat strained chuckle rattled in Nate's throat. “You sure about that?”
Kyle grinned and nipped his earlobe, then his hands were working at the snap of the jeans again. Nate released Kyle's ass and covered his hands again, though no longer trying to halt the man's progression – but rather helping him further along.
♦
“Well, where are they?”
Janice glanced around the parking lot as she and Greyson approached the car.
“Must've taken a detour.” Greyson said. He didn't really want to know what their detour consisted of. The rules he'd attempted to lay down with those boys were pretty much kaput. Nate at least attempted to adhere to them, tried to rein Kyle in as much as possible. Bur Greyson wasn't really worried. The rules were just precautionary measures. Kyle was recovering fast and he didn't foresee any setbacks – even with the boys breaking the rules.
A low rumble rolled across the sky in the distant. Rain clouds lingered on the horizon. Sometimes Greyson wished he lived where it actually snowed at Christmas. Something about snow seemed to clean the air, make it more breathable.
Christmas used to be such a fun time for him and Ian. The boy loved it because he received twice the amount of gifts, with his birthday being December twenty-sixth. Kind of like an extended Christmas.
His heart squeezed. Last year he had spent Christmas at the hospital, in Ian's room, coming to terms with the reality that he would never share another Christmas – or any holiday – with his son ever again. The dread of this Christmas had been to the extent that he'd begun to feel physically nauseous. Another holiday sitting in a cold room, holding his son's hand, feeling the life already gone from him but not being able to let go.
But then Kyle had come into his care. And with him came Janice, and Nate.
Greyson gazed at the woman beside him. Her eyes scanned the parking lot and the hospital entrance, keeping a lookout for the boys. A light stinging burned his eyes. His ultimate sacrifice may have saved Kyle's life, and in turn Janice's and Nate's as well. But they had returned his life to him as well. Another holiday season in a cold hospital room, then alone in an empty house void of life – it was Greyson's own personal hell on earth. They had lifted him out of that hell, given him a way to say goodbye to Ian and find peace in letting him go, and then taken him into their lives as if it were the most natural place for him to be.
“Are you okay?”
Greyson blinked. Janice was staring at him, concern in her eyes.
He cleared his throat then smiled. “Yeah.” he said quietly then leaned down and kissed her softly. “I am.”
♦
The front of his jeans tugged down, exposing his hard bulge straining against his white briefs. Kyle was on his knees before Nate, his mouth grabbing and sucking his pulsing member through the thin cotton fabric.
“Shit.” A hard exhalation of breath burst out of Nate and he clutched Kyle's head, his fingertips playing through the short skiff of soft hair.
Kyle grabbed a mouthful of his cotton clad flesh and sucked hard. Nate jerked hard, and pressed back against the door, panting.
“Fuck, Kyle.” He groaned tightly between clenched teeth.
Smiling, withdrawing, Kyle smirked. “You can fuck Kyle later.”
“Shut up.” A shuddering laugh tumbled off Nate's lips. “And put that mouth to better use.”
“Yessir.” Kyle's lips twitched. His fingertips hooked the band of Nate's briefs and slowly dragged them down, releasing his raging erection. Kyle smiled. “Hmm...so you are glad to see me.”
A staggered chuckled caught in Nate's throat. “Shut the fuck up and blow me.”
Kyle smirked and his tongue darted out, grabbing licks of hard flesh.
His fingers digging into Kyle's scalp, Nate sucked in a sharp breath then squeezed his eye shut. “We ain't got all fucking day, man.” He gasped. “Just get to it-”
Hot, wet heat suddenly engulfed him, squeezing, sucking.
“Fuck!” Nate hissed loud, his hips bucking a little as Kyle took in his full length. “Oh ffffuuuck!”
His hands cupped the back of Kyle's head firmly as he began to thrust with the man's stroking mouth. Nate's eyes remained closed tight, his head tilted back, as they moved in perfect rhythm.
“Oh my god.” Nate shuddered, voice trembling. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good.” A shaky laugh escaped him. “I don't want to know where you learned to be so good at this...I'll just assume...you're a natural.”
The thought of Kyle's mouth on another guy...Nate forced the idea from his mind. He'd told Nate back at the cabin that he'd never fucked another man. But then, sucking wasn't fucking.
Are you serious, man? You're finding things to worry about while you're buried balls deep in his throat? Really?!
Nate groaned and released a hard breath, letting the unpleasant thought flush from his mind, and focused on the heavenly sensation of Kyle's hot, silky wet mouth gliding up and down his shaft.
Oh my god, Kyle – I wanna fuck you so bad right now.
His eyes opened slowly as his chest hitched with uneven breaths. The mirror above the sink was just low enough that he could watch Kyle sucking him. The corner of his mouth tugged upward at the sight of Kyle on his knees, delivering his amazing blow job, began heating Nate up even more.
“You look so fucking hot in the mirror, baby.” Nate groaned.
Kyle pulled up off Nate's cock slowly. “You know what would be even hotter?” He panted softly and smiled up at Nate. “If you fucked me in front of that mirror.”
Nate's head dropped back and hit the door, a moaning chuckle sticking in the back of his throat. “Fuck. We're already taking too much time as it is.”
Standing slowly to his feet, Kyle pressed his body against Nate, his lips touching Nate's mouth. “So let's not waste any more time...and start getting it on.”
“You're so romantic.” Nate chuckled.
Kyle grinned and grabbed Nate's hips, dragging him over to the sink. “What do you want from me, baby?” Kyle smirked. “Want me to whisper sweet nothings in your ear?”
“Maybe I do.” Nate smiled.
“Fine.” Kyle touched his lips to Nate's ear, and whispered, “You're so beautiful, baby. Come on and make sweet, sweet love to me...so good.”
A funny tickle skittered down through Nate's body. He knew Kyle was just fucking around, but his soft voice...and tender words...had a very powerful, unexpected effect on him. When Kyle drew back and looked at him, there was a shimmer of seriousness in his beautiful eyes that suggested maybe it wasn't entirely just goofing off.
“God, that was good.” Nate murmured, then smiled and kissed him with a softer passion than was typical for them. Kyle didn't fight it or try to turn it into raw lust. He shuddered against Nate, kissing him back with as much tenderness as Nate was giving him.
Nate's hands dropped to the front of Kyle's jeans and worked them open as they continued to kiss. He broke away only when he turned Kyle around. The guy gripped the edge of the sink and stared into the mirror, watching Nate's reflection as he shoved Kyle's pants down over his hips and lower, then rubbed his hands on Kyle's beautiful ass.
“Fuck, baby.” Nate groaned and kissed Kyle's shoulder. “I can't get enough of your sweet ass.”
A strained moan formed in Kyle's throat. “Prove it.” His eyes were heavy with desire and need as he stared at Nate's image in the mirror, his body tense, eager, inviting.
Nate squeezed his ass cheeks with great pleasure and pressed his mouth against the back of his head, gazing over the top of his scalp and meeting Kyle's heated stare in the mirror, and moaned low. “If we had more time...I'd give you a tonguing that would make you wail like a banshee.”
The heat in Kyle's eye's burned hotter. “Hold onto that thought...we'll explore it later tonight.”
Nate kissed his head. “Yes we will.” he murmured. He gripped Kyle's ass cheeks tighter and spread him open as Kyle arched his back a little, welcoming him to enter. Nate held his gaze in the mirror as he slowly began to squeeze inside him.
“Fuck!” Kyle's body jerked and he gasped, biting his lip hard, his eyes squinting just a little as Nate's thickness made room for itself.
Nate's throat tightened as did his face, his jaw clenching a bit as he pushed himself deeper inside Kyle's heavenly body. His fingers dug into the guy's hips, pulling him back on him.
“Shit!” The single word burst out of him on a sharp exhale of breath.
“Come on.” Kyle whimpered. His knuckles whitened as he gripped the edge of the porcelain. “Give it to me, baby.”
A slow, deep breath sucked down Nate's throat as he forced his stiff cock the rest of the way in. “Oh my god! Fuck! Baby, your ass is so tight.”
Kyle drew in deep breaths, his voice unsteady. “Then...loosen me up a bit.”
Their eyes locked in the mirror. Nate's grip on Kyle's hips squeezed and he thrust into him, slowly a few times, then with more urgency.
“Oh fuck!” Kyle moaned. His back arched and head tilted back somewhat but he kept his eyes on the mirror, on Nate's reflection. “Oh god, Nate! Fuck me, baby! Give it to me deep! Hard!”
Nate released his hips and gripped the edge of the sink beside Kyle's hands. He drove himself into the man, hard, deep – as requested. His teeth grabbed at the tiny hairs on the nape of Kyle's neck, his hot breath puffing erratically against the back of his head.
“Fuck! Fuck...Yes! Yes!”
Kyle's voice swelled, growing louder. Nate pressed his mouth to the back of his head, his lips pressed tight, jaw clenched to hold back his own cries. His arm snaked around Kyle's neck and his hand covered the guy's mouth. “Shhh.” he shuddered, struggling to control his own volume as he fucked Kyle harder. “Gotta...keep quiet.”
A tight whimper rose in Kyle's throat as if to say – Are you fucking kidding me?! His hot breath burst against Nate's palm and his eyes burned into Nate's in the mirror.
“Fuuck.” Nate gasped hard and bit Kyle's shoulder, stifling the scream that begged to be released. He shoved up tight against Kyle's ass, burying himself even deeper inside the guy, inciting a cry in the man even his hand could barely conceal. “Oh fuck, Kyle...I wanna cum inside you...it feels so good to cum inside you, baby.”
He rocked his hips against Kyle's amazing ass, grunting, panting, feeling the burn in his testicles, the tightness. Tears stung his eyes from sheer erotic pleasure.
Kyle ripped his mouth away from Nate's hand, gasping hard. “Jerk me off, Nate.” He was nearly begging him, his voice tight, strained, his eyes glossy. “Please, baby...I love it when you stroke me when you're fucking me.”
The words were barely out of Kyle's mouth before Nate's strong hand wrapped around his stiff cock and began to stroke, squeezing just hard enough to make the man whimper and choke on his cries.
“No screaming.” Nate puffed against his ear. “Keep it down, ok, babe?”
Kyle bit his lips between his teeth, his face tight and pinched, eyes squinting hard as he moved with Nate's body and hand rhythm. A sudden, forceful breath exploded out of him and he gasped for air. “Fuck...fuck, Nate! Oh god...I'm gonna cum...I'm gonna fucking cum!”
His hand stroking faster, harder, Nate fucked him with more urgency, struggling not to scream out his own ecstasy as the orgasm gripped him. His free hand clutched Kyle's chest and his fingers gouged through the guy's t-shirt into his damp, fevered flesh as he bit down on his shoulder and squealed. He came with enough force to make his head swim and vision spackle with black spots.
Kyle's head snapped down and to the side, and he bit his own arm to stifle the scream that erupted up his throat as he came hard, shots of cum squirting onto the tiled floor. Nate squeezed and stroked him until the tension in Kyle's body, and his own, began to recede.
Hard, broken gasps puffed out of Kyle as he gripped the sink, his legs trembling. Nate leaned against his back, scalding breath beating against Kyle's neck. His legs felt useless, like hot rubber. He backed off Kyle, barely managed to get himself stuffed back in his jeans before his legs gave out and he dropped hard to the floor. He rubbed his hand over his face and pressed his back to the wall, a shaky laugh tripping up his throat.
Kyle's hands shook as he secured himself inside his pants then sagged down next to Nate, eyes heavy, breath ragged. He grinned and reached over, grabbing Nate's hand. He raised it to his lips and kissed the back, then the center of his palm. “You have beautiful hands, baby.” he breathed unsteadily.
Staggered laughs jumped off Nate's lips and his head dropped back hard against the wall, his eyes closing. “Fuck.” His head rolled to the side and he opened his eyes again, looking at Kyle. His gaze drifted down to Kyle's arm where prominent teeth marks indented his bicep. He chuckled and raced his fingertips over the indentions. “Shit, baby.” Nate panted softly. “As hard as you came...I was sure you'd draw blood.”
Kyle grinned and leaned up, kissed Nate's mouth then groaned, “You have that effect on me.” He kissed him again and murmured, “I'm so fucking in love with you...did you know that?”
Pressure squeezed Nate's heart and he leaned into Kyle's kiss. “I'm starting to get a clue.”
Kyle's lips lingered on Nate's mouth. “Promise it'll always be like this with us.”
A soft smile curved Nate's lips and he kissed Kyle reassuringly. “I promise.”
♦
When the boys came out of the clinic, Greyson and Janice were waiting inside the car, the radio playing low. They drew back from a light kiss, a bit startled, when the back door opened suddenly and Kyle scooted in. Nate followed then closed the door.
Neither Greyson nor Janice asked them where they'd been or what had taken them so long. The heaviness in both boys' eyes told Greyson all he needed to know. Details weren't necessary – or wanted.
Nate caught his eye in the rear view mirror. A faint smirk played across the young man's lips. Greyson smiled them pressed his lips tight as he started the car. What was he going to do – scold them?
Images of Kyle laying on the bare edge of death in the hospital bed filled his head. Memories of Nate's anguish, his attempt on his own life to save Kyle's...they all crashed in on him. He glanced in the rear view mirror again as Kyle laid his head on Nate's shoulder and closed his eyes from what appeared to be sheer exhaustion. Nate slid his arm around the boy's shoulder, drew him closer and kissed his hair, then rested his cheek on Kyle's head as his own eyes drifted close.
The boys deserved this time together. Every second of love they now shared had been hard earned. They had waded through the trenches of hell to secure their little piece of heaven on earth. How could he deny them what was rightfully theirs?
Greyson glanced at Janice as she looked at the two young men already falling asleep against each other. She met his gaze and smiled warmly then covered his hand with hers. “Our boys.” Tears shimmered. “Aren't they the cutest ever?”
Our boys.
Greyson smiled, his heart swelling. “Indeed they are.”
“To Have And To Hold”
♦
T H E knife chopped through the vegetables skillfully, Nate's hands guiding it like a seasoned Chef. Kyle stood on the opposite side of the kitchen island chopping celery in a much less skilled manner. His knife faltered as he watched Nate, the man's eyes intent on what he was doing.
Aren't we domestic? Kyle thought with a faint smirk. He continued to watch Nate as the man seemed oblivious to Kyle's observation. His throat suddenly squeezed as a pressure pushed against the inside wall of his chest. I want to marry you. I want to be your husband. God, baby, I want it so bad.
His gaze settled on Nate's left hand as the man quickly, carefully grabbed the raw vegetables and guided them under the blade. He had yet to wear the ring Kyle had left for him. They hadn't even mentioned it. But though he said nothing, Kyle had noticed almost from the moment he'd awakened in the hospital.
A nagging anxiety pinched his gut whenever he thought about it. There was no doubt in him that Nate loved him. The man hadn't hesitated to prove that time and again. But what if...
Kyle resisted the thought, but it shoved its way in regardless.
What if he doesn't want to get married?
“You gonna finish up that stock anytime in this century?”
“Huh?” Kyle blinked. Nate was staring at him, his mouth corked at the right corner. Nate raised an eyebrow and looked at the half chopped celery stock on the cutting board before Kyle. “Oh.” Kyle cleared his throat then smirked. “Well we can't all be chefs, smart ass.”
Nate shrugged. “True.” A smug, self-satisfied grin graced his lips.
“Why do you know how to cook so good, and I don't?”
Chuckling, Nate shrugged again. “Self-preservation.” he said. “I don't have a mommy to do all my stuff for me.”
Kyle's lips quirked. “My mommy loves me.” he told him with his own level of smugness. “She likes doing things for me.”
Snorting, Nate shook his head. “Well, don't think I'm gonna take over for her. Your lazy ass can do for yourself.”
“Really?” A mock whine entered Kyle's voice. “You won't do for me?”
Nate grinned and shook his head again as he scooped the chopped vegetable into a wooden bowl. “Nope. Time little Kyle grew up and learned to take care of himself.”
Abandoning the half chopped celery, Kyle moved around the end of the island and stood behind Nate, his fingertips playing up the man's back. Nate laughed and squirmed.
“What the fuck you doing?” he chuckled. “Get back to work.”
“You say you won't do for me?”
“That's right.” Nate said matter-of-factly.
Kyle grinned and leaned closer, his mouth touching the back of Nate's neck. “But will you still do me?”
“Fuck.” Nate laughed and shrugged Kyle off him. “Shut up and get back to chopping.”
“I'd rather do something else that ends with -ing.” Kyle moved back in and pressed his body to Nate's, then thrust his hips against the guy's ass. “Starts with ffff-”
“Get off me.” Nate laughed and shoved him back. “Do you ever shift out of fuck mode?”
“Uh-uh.” Kyle admitted. “And you know me...I'll moan and whine till I get what I want.”
“Yeah, I've always known that about you.” Nate muttered, smirking. “Spoiled little shit. Clearly your mama didn't bust your ass nearly enough.”
A dark, twisted smile stretched across Kyle's lips and he once again stepped in closer to Nate. He propped his chin on Nate's shoulder and murmured, “I guess it's up to you now to bust my ass.” His lips twitched. “I'm a hard learner though...gotta bust it real hard if you hope to pound the lesson into me.”
“Oh my god.” Nate rolled his eyes and shook his head, short laughs erupting forth. Kyle grinned then chuckled, his chin still resting on Nate's shoulder.
“Come on, big daddy.” he urged. “Make a good boy out of me.”
“Oh fuck.” Nate smiled. “That train has long since left the station.” He twisted his head quickly, unexpectedly, and kissed Kyle's lips. “'Fraid you're hopeless, little boy.”
Kyle's hand slid down over Nate's ass and squeezed firmly. “You're not even gonna try to reform me?”
Chucking low, Nate shook his head slowly. “We're not going there, Kyle.”
“Right.” Kyle kneaded his fingers into Nate's ass cheek. “That's what you said the other day in the bathroom, at the clinic.”
A barely controlled breath stuttered in Nate's throat. “Yeah, well.” A slight roughness thickened his voice that never failed to turn Kyle on. It was that telltale sign that Kyle was getting to him. “Maybe it's about time you don't get every little thing you want.”
Kyle grinned and slid his chin across Nate's shoulder and kissed his ear. “Give yourself some credit, baby.” he murmured. “What I want isn't so little.”
That sweet, sought for tension began to tighten Nate's body as his ass cheek flexed beneath Kyle's hand. Leaning against the man, he could feel his breath quicken as his chest rose and fell a little faster. Come on, baby...just say yes. Do me – right here in the kitchen.
♦
Tension knotted his throat as well as other, lower regions. Nate swallowed with effort then cleared his throat. “I have to pick up your mom and Greyson at the airport in less than an hour.”
Kyle's warm breath sifted against his ear, causing a prickling sensation to fizzle through his scalp. “Well it isn't like we need that much time.” Kyle grinned. “Neither one of us can hold our wad for that long.”
“Oh...god.” Nate's face twisted with a grimace. “Get off me, man.” He pushed Kyle away, laughing. “You just have a special way with words, don't you? It's a damn good thing you're not straight, you'd never get laid. Girls like their men to be a little more eloquent.”
Kyle chuckled low. “How would you know?”
“I watch tv.” Nate smirked.
“Well there's a reliable source.”
Nate smiled. “Anyway.” he said. “I have to leave in about fifteen minutes if I want to get to the airport on time.”
“What? I don't get to go with you?” Kyle backed off and leaned against the edge of the counter.
“No.” Nate looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. “I did most of dinner preparation – you get to stay home and clean up.”
Kyle's head dropped back as he groaned low.
“And you better do a good job.” Nate told him. “Spic-n-span clean.”
Lifting his head, Kyle smiled. “And if I don't...you gonna whip my ass?” He wriggled his eyebrows, his smile stretching into a grin.
“No.” Nate rolled his eyes and chuckled. “I will deny you.”
“Ouch.” Kyle hissed low, his lips twisting. “I was really hoping for a good spanking.”
“Fuck.” Nate laughed and shook his head. “God must have a seriously twisted sense of humor.”
Kyle smirked. “Why?”
Stepping close to Kyle, Nate cupped the back of his neck. “To make your crazy ass the love of my life.” He kissed him once, hard, then drew back.
Kyle grinned and licked his lips. “Gotta love God.”
♦
When the kitchen was cleaned to Nate's specifications, Kyle went to the living room and turned on the Christmas tree lights. He was glad they had been able to talk his mom and Greyson into coming to Idaho for Christmas. Though Nate would have spent Christmas in the fucking tropics just to be with Kyle – he knew the guy loved the traditional white Christmas. It was Kyle's suggestion that they all spend the holiday at Nate's home. And that night, Kyle had learned there were benefits to making Nate happy.
He smiled and pressed his lips tight, a low burning ache creeping through his groin. Nate was definitely a man he wanted to keep happy.
The presents beneath the tree were stacked neatly. Nate always had everything so precise. Kyle smiled and wondered how Nate was going to survive him. He suspected they may have a lot of squabbles about him not keeping things neat and tidy. But that was okay, every little disagreement could be counted as a fight, and therefore makeup sex would be in order.
Kyle chuckled low then released a quiet sigh. God, baby, hurry home. I already miss you like crazy.
Nate was like air to him and it seemed almost impossible to catch his breath when he wasn't there – even if the man did take his breath away when he was present. But he could handle that kind of asphyxia.
♦
“How did you get away without Kyle?”
With the luggage stacked in the back of the pickup, Nate, Janice and Greyson climbed into the cab of his truck. He grinned at Janice as he turned the engine over.
“I told him he had to clean the kitchen.”
Shock widened her eyes. “And he did it?”
Nate shrugged. “Well that remains to be seen.” he laughed. “But I'm thinking it will be spotless.”
“That's amazing.” Janice shook her head and smiled. “Well, you remember what a chore it was to get him to even clean his room when he was a kid.”
Nate chuckled. “Yeah, I remember.” He grinned sheepishly. “Most of the time he conned me into doing it.”
Greyson laughed.
“What?” Janice raised her eyebrows. “You cleaned his room for him?” She clucked her tongue. “Should have known. Kyle would've never done that good of a job.” She nudged Nate's arm. “But you should have made the lazy little cuss do it himself.”
“Yeah, well.” Nate rubbed his hand over his mouth and sighed. “Even then, I was a sucker for that quirky little smile and puppy dog eyes.”
They all laughed and Greyson shook his head. “Just don't let him know he can still manipulate you.”
“Well, I do my best. “ Nate told him. “But I don't think I'm fooling him.” His voice lowered and he murmured more to himself than the others. “He still knows how to get whatever he wants.”
Greyson grinned and pressed his lips tight, chuckling low.
“I don't even want to know what that means.” Janice said, smiling, holding her hand up as if to ward off any unwanted details.
Nate and Greyson laughed.
“So Kyle has no idea about...” Janice let the question roll away.
Nate shook his head then shrugged. “Not that I know of. I haven't let on about anything.”
“What do you think his reaction will be?” Greyson asked with a smile.
Drawing in a deep breath, Nate released it slow and laughed anxiously. “With Kyle...who's to say?”
Janice touched his arm, her eyes glowing with warmth. “Are you nervous?”
Clearing his throat, Nate shifted and cocked his head, a shaky smile tripping across his lips. “Shittin' bricks.”
♦
The heat of Nate's shoulder warmed Kyle's back as he leaned against the man's body. They were sitting on the sofa, their feet propped on the coffee table. Kyle wore white socks on feet that were draped over Nate's as he absently played footsie with the guy.
His mom relaxed in a thick armchair while Greyson rested on one of the cushioned arms.
“Tell me you all practice the giving of one gift on Christmas Eve.” he said.
Janice covered his hand with hers. “Of course.” She smiled then looked at her son sweetly. “In fact it has always been a chore keeping it down to just one...with that boy.”
“Hey.” Kyle grinned. “What kid doesn't want to open all his presents on Christmas Eve?”
“I didn't mean when you were a kid.” Janice smiled.
“What do you mean?” Nate quipped and squeezed his arm around Kyle's neck. “When did he ever stop being a kid?”
Kyle made a show of resisting Nate's arm as Greyson and Janice laughed.
“I don't see why you're all so mean to me.” Kyle's face twisted. He looked up at Nate and smirked. “And if I'm still a kid – then that makes you a child molester.”
Nate burst out laughing as Janice's jaw dropped a bit. Greyson bit his tongue, struggling not to bust up.
“Kyle James!”
Kyle shrugged and grinned. “Well it's true.”
“Where did you get that mouth?” Janice wondered with a note of exasperation.
Kyle smirked. “From hanging around with Nate.”
“Yeah right.” Nate chuffed and squeezed his neck tighter. “I corrupted you. Sure that's how it happened.”
“See?” Kyle looked at his mom and smiled. “He admits it.”
“That wasn't an admittance.”
Janice waved her hand absently. “Don't worry, Nate.” She said and shot her son a dry look, behind which amusement glittered. “I know he's full of it. You were always my good son, respectable and sweet.” She sighed. “I always hoped that would rub off on him.”
A smirk twisted Kyle's lips and he turned his head so his mouth was close to Nate's ear. “If only she knew what you were really rubbing on me every night - she might not think of you as her good son anymore.”
“Shut up.” Nate hissed then laughed, clenching his arm around Kyle's neck again.
Kyle glanced at his mom as she watched them, eyes slightly narrowed, clearly not wanting to know what he had whispered to Nate. She had always razzed him about him needing to take son lessons from Nate, but he was never under the mistaken impression that she didn't love him with all her heart and soul. Besides, he'd always admired Nate, even when they were kids. And if there was ever anyone he wanted to be like – it was Nate.
The man's grip on his neck eased and his hand lowered to Kyle's chest, slipping easily under the collar of his t-shirt. Kyle's pulse spiked a bit as Nate's fingertips lightly rubbed against his skin, tracing up and down the surgical scar. He tilted his head and laid it against Nate's arm, his gaze settling on the rough scar that ran down his forearm; a forever reminder of the lengths Nate would go to protect him.
He bit his lips between his teeth as his eyes began to sting. Greyson was speaking to his mom, but he barely heard a word of it. The sudden urge to take Nate to the bedroom and make love with him was nearly overwhelming. At this moment, he wasn't craving the hard, wild sex that was often their thing – but he just wanted to be in his arms, making love slow and easy.
A knot tightened his throat and he kissed Nate's arm lightly. Nate's lips touched his head softly.
“I love you.” Nate murmured against his short hair.
A shaky breath staggered up Kyle's throat. “I love you too.”
♦
It never became mundane hearing I Love you fall from Kyle's lips. For the past two months the guy had said it to him every day, multiple times a day. Yet, each time he heard it, his heart stilled for a moment before speeding up, knocking against his ribs. He couldn't imagine a day when those three words on Kyle's lips wouldn't have this effect on him.
Greyson and Janice went to the Christmas tree and chose the gifts they would exchange that night. They had all agreed that for tonight, Nate and Kyle would exchange a gift, and Greyson and Janice would exchange one.
Nervous anxiety pinched Nate's guts. Kyle left the sofa and plucked out a small package from beneath the tree then returned to his place at Nate's side. He started to hand Nate the gift then withdrew.
“Where's mine?” He cocked an eyebrow.
Nate smiled and shook his head. “You'll get it. Don't worry.” he assured. “But let me open mine first.”
“Well that isn't fair, you get to open yours first.” Kyle's face screwed into a mock pout and Nate chuckled, taking the gift.
“Don't be a baby.”
A glimmer of anxiety tightened Kyle's face as he watched Nate open the small package. Nate glanced at him and the guy seemed truly uneasy, as if he were suddenly regretting the gift.
You're so funny, baby, Nate thought then smiled as he opened the small box.
Inside lay a round silver pendant the size of a half dollar, attached to a silver snake chain, and nestled on a bed of red satin. On the underside of the small box lid, a tiny card had been attached. He plucked it loose and read it silently.
If I had to choose between you and breathing...I'd use my last breath to tell you 'I Love You.'
Nate's throat knotted instantly as the words swam before him. He licked his lips and swallowed hard then lifted the necklace from the satin. He stared at the simple inscription. His lips pressed tight as he struggled to hold the already pooled tears from breaking loose.
Nate cleared his throat. “World's Greatest Boyfriend.” he read aloud, his voice thick.
“It's...corny. I know.” Kyle emitted an uneasy laugh. “You don't...have to wear it.”
Nate glanced at Greyson and Janice who were both watching them, smiling. His gaze shifted to Kyle. The man's beautiful eyes were slightly glossy with that 'I just fucked up again' look. A crippling ache squeezed Nate's heart. He wanted to cry at that look on Kyle's face. How could the guy think that he wouldn't absolutely love anything and everything he gave him?
“Are you kidding?” Nate nearly choked on the knot in his throat. He leaned over and kissed Kyle softly on the lips then told him, “I love it.” He drew back and unfastened the clasp. “Hell yes I'm gonna wear it. You think I don't want people to know I'm the best boyfriend ever.” He winked at Kyle as he fastened the chain around his neck. “Well...the second best.”
Kyle's face softened, the anxiety melting away beneath the warmth of Nate's love. He cleared his throat and visibly forced back the emotions struggling to take over. His trademark smirk graced his lips. “So, uh...where's my gift?”
Rubbing the circular pendant of his new necklace absently between his thumb and index finger, Nate smiled, his eyes squinting a bit. “You have to close your eyes.”
Kyle eyed him suspiciously. “Yeah right.”
“What?” Nate smiled innocently. “Don't you trust me?”
Janice leaned against Greyson and intertwined her fingers with his as they both laughed softly.
“Yeah.” Kyle muttered low. “About as far as you trusted me last time.”
Nate chuckled. “Come on, close your eyes.”
Doubt narrowed Kyle's eyes. “What're you gonna do?” He asked low, suspicious. “'Cause I'll tell you now – if you put a fuc-freaking spider on me, I'll go Tasmanian devil on this place.”
Janice and Greyson burst out laughing. Nate rubbed his hand over his mouth, and chuckled. “Yeah, I got that memo when we were eight and that daddy long-leg crawled across your arm.” He glanced at Janice and grinned. “I thought your mom was gonna whip your ass for trashing your room like that.”
Kyle smirked. “Well, just so you know.”
“No spiders.” Nate chuckled, holding up his right hand, making the peace sign with his fingers. “Scout's honor.”
Kyle shook his head. “You were never a scout.”
Nate shrugged. “So what? Shut your damn eyes.”
“And I thought you were about to get all romantic.” Kyle smirked and closed his eyes. “But you're just the same old brute you've always been.”
Janice laughed softly and squeezed Greyson's hand.
A chuckle rumbled low in Nate's chest, but a flurry of butterflies invaded his stomach, fluttering frantically. He swallowed with effort as his throat tightened. It seemed he'd been waiting his whole life for this one moment and he didn't want to fuck it up.
He twisted and sat on the edge of the sofa facing Kyle then took hold of his left hand. The guy didn't resist, though an uncertain frown pinched his brow.
“What're you doing?” Kyle murmured.
“Stop talking.” Nate smiled. “You're ruining the moment.”
“What moment?” Kyle's lips twitched but there was a serious note to his voice.
Leaning close to Kyle's face, he whispered, “Be...” Kissed his lips. “...quiet.” Then kissed him again.
Kyle licked his lips slowly, as if savoring the taste of Nate's kiss, but he didn't speak.
“Good boy.” Nate murmured, smiling. Kyle's lips twisted pleasantly but still he refrained from making any remarks.
Nate reached down into the front pocket of his jeans and took out the customized gold band he'd picked up from the jeweler's on the way home from the airport. He held it up in his fingertips and stared at it. Two intertwined male symbols were engraved into the outer side of the gold surface. Twisting it a little, he re-read for the thousandth time the same inscription as was on the ring Kyle had given him – but which he had yet to actually place on Nate's finger.
One Heart, One Soul, One Love...Always.
They hadn't talked about this. Hadn't mentioned the ring Kyle had left for him on the mantle. He'd had his doubts about whether or not Kyle was really ready for a step this big. But after that night at the pizzeria, Nate couldn't help but feel the boy was ready to embrace who he was – lock, stock and barrel. At least he hoped he was.
“Are you still there?” Kyle cocked an eyebrow without opening his eyes, his mouth jerking at the left corner.
The urge to kiss that mouth was nearly irresistible, but if he started kissing him now, he wouldn't stop. Nate took Kyle's left hand and slowly slid the gold band on his ring finger. And only then did he allow himself to steal a kiss.
Kyle opened his eyes, scooted up a bit and looked at the ring, then turned his gaze on Nate, the look in Kyle's eyes loud and clear.
“Will you?” Nate murmured, his lips close to Kyle's. Though he already knew the answer, the butterflies in his stomach were in a frenzy, making him lightheaded.
Kyle met his gaze – and smirked. “Will I what?” he spoke low, his tone teasing. “Say it. All of it. Ain't no way you're gonna get away with a half-assed proposal. I want the whole damned thing, baby.”
Greyson and Janice were both struggling to keep from laughing.
Licking his lips, Nate smiled, dropped his chin to his chest and shook his head, a short laugh emitting from him. “Fine, you stubborn shit.” He lifted his head and looked him in the eyes. “Will you marry me?”
The corner of Kyle's mouth twitched and tugged as his eyes shone with his love for Nate. “No bended knee or nothing? Really?”
Nate drew in a slow, deep breath and released it on a short, low laugh. “You're gonna milk this dry, aren't you?”
Flashing him a sweet smile, Kyle touched his hand to his throat delicately. “A boy only gets married once.” He said, his voice soft, slightly high. “I want the full meal deal.”
“Oh god.” Janice laughed and buried her face in Greyson's arm as the man chuckled.
“You'll get the full meal deal, all right.” Nate muttered and slid off the edge of the sofa and onto one knee.
“Promises, promises.” Kyle smirked then held out his hand to Nate. “Now do it right, sweetie.”
Nate ducked his head again and laughed low. Why had he thought this was going to be smooth and easy? Kyle always had to brand every event with his own special touch. Nate cleared his throat and looked up, taking hold of Kyle's fingers as if he were a gentleman about to kiss the hand of a lady. He suppressed a chuckle at the imagery; Kyle was no lady. And considering all the things Nate envisioned doing to him...he supposed he was no gentleman either.
“Kyle Haney.” Nate spoke with as genteel a tone as he could muster. “Would you do me the honor of giving me your hand in marriage?”
Kyle just stared at him, a smile playing back and forth across his kissable lips. His fingers closed around Nate's hand and he urged him up off his knee and onto the sofa with him. His eyes flashed with mischief though couldn't begin to disguise the man's love and pure joy.
“What's in it for me?” Kyle lifted one eyebrow and smiled.
Nate leaned closer, sliding one arm across the back of the sofa behind Kyle's head. His fingertips played through Kyle's short hair. “Anything you want.” Nate murmured and kissed his lips.
“That works for me.” Kyle whispered. He traced his fingertips on Nate's face, his eyes shimmering, filling with tears.
Nate kissed him again then touched his lips to Kyle's ear. “Is that a yes?”
Licking his lips slowly, Kyle gazed in Nate's eyes, his heart surfacing and reaching out, gripping Nate. “As if there was any doubt.”
♦
His mind was lost in a fog as his mom and Greyson were suddenly standing there beside them. Nate was on his feet and Greyson shook his hand, congratulated him then hugged him. Kyle was suddenly pulled up on his feet and buried in that same strong embrace. He clutched the man and bit his lip hard to hold back the tears as his eyes were pulled to the gold ring on his finger.
He withdrew from Greyson and looked at Nate. “Where's the other ring?”
Nate smile and retrieved it from his pocket.
“Why didn't you...” he started then faltered as he gazed at Nate's handsome face.
“I didn't want to wear it...until you put it on me.” Nate said softly, his eyes glowing. “And I didn't want you to put it on me – until I could give you one in return.”
It was this moment, Kyle realized suddenly, that put his new heart to the true test as it raced and went crazy inside him. If he could make it through this moment...this explosion of love between him and Nate...he could handle anything from there on out.
“You okay?” Nate murmured and touched Kyle's face, sliding his thumb across his cheek, wiping away a stream of tears Kyle hadn't been aware were flowing.
He covered Nate's hand with his own, pressed his cheek into his palm and closed his eyes, nodding slowly.
When he opened his eyes, he took the ring from Nate and slid it gently on the man's left ring finger then raised Nate's hand and kissed the wedding band.
♦
Once they stepped in the bedroom, time seemed to stop. Everything felt as if it were moving in slow motion; Kyle's skin warm against his fingers as he peeled away the man's clothes, the cool sheets against naked skin, the heat of his lover's body surrounding his passion for the guy, their bodies melded as one, flowing in rhythm – gentle and easy – as their hearts beat in perfect sync.
Nate held Kyle as if he were holding onto life itself, as they carried one another to heaven and back, until they were finally just laying still in each other's arms, breath quickened and uneven, hearts racings, bodies fevered and slick with sweat.
When he felt Kyle tremble with quiet sobs, Nate held him tighter, the young man's warm face pressed deep against his throat. He cried too, the love and joy inside him too much to contain.
Kyle drew back and rubbed his hands up Nate's chest, laying his head on the man's arm. He gazed at the gold band on his finger, barely visible in the dark bedroom. When he felt Nate's soft lips on his forehead, Kyle lifted his face and Nate kissed his lips.
“I wouldn't have survived this life without you.” Nate's throat locked, choking him. He took hold of Kyle's hand and pressed it to his lips as his chin trembled and fresh tears shimmered. “Thank you for coming back to me.”
Kyle kissed him softly and rubbed the back of his fingers down Nate's cheeks then touched the scar on his right arm, and whispered, “Thank you for being here when I woke up.”
They kissed again and Nate pulled Kyle deep inside his arms and held him close, feeling the man's heart beat strong against his chest. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Kyle's warm head, his short hair tickling Nate's lips.
I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
The Wedding (pt. 1)
“When You Look At Me That Way”
“I T H I N K I might throw up.”
“You're not going to throw up. You'll be fine.” Janice smiled and touched the front of Kyle's suit. A glossy sheen glazed her eyes. “You look so handsome. Your father would be so proud.”
Kyle glanced at his reflection in the full length mirror. “I don't know.” he murmured. “I pretty much kept dad in a perpetual state of exasperation.”
“Can't argue there.” Janice laughed softly. “But nonetheless.” She bit her lower lip. “He would've given anything to be here today.” She took his hand and squeezed with affection. “He always knew you and Nate were meant to be together. We both did.”
Meant to be together. His mom's words blew through his heart like a warm breeze. From the moment he'd learned he was sick, and that the odds of surviving weren't in his favor – he had begun to take to heart the common belief that gays were destined for hell. He recalled asking Nate that question, on their hike up to the cabin, whether or not he really believed that. It hadn't been a causal question at the time; he knew if Nate truly didn't believe it, then he could dismiss it as well. He trusted Nate's judgment. But the man hadn't given him a yes or no answer – simply said there was nothing he could do about it, either way. His words hadn't brought Kyle much comfort.
But standing here now – having been through hell and back – he knew what he believed. And what Nate believed. God had sent them to hell...but He hadn't left them there. Had he truly hated them as so many believed He did, He would've just walked away and left them to their torment. But He didn't hate them; love like this, that he and Nate shared...it could only come from the very source of love itself.
“You okay, honey?”
Kyle cleared his throat and smiled. “Yeah.” He messed with this suit as he stared at his reflection. “Still feeling the urge to up-chuck, though.”
“It's natural to be nervous.” Janice assured. “This is a big step. It will change your life forever.”
Kyle groaned. “Not helping with the nerves, mom.” he smirked. His mom laughed softly and he fidgeted inside his suit. “I bet Nate isn't even sweating.” he muttered. “Mr. Perfect. Just takes everything in stride.”
“I'm sure he's plenty nervous.” Janice smiled. “He's been waiting for this for a very long time.” She gazed at Kyle's face lovingly. “Waiting for you for a very long time.”
Kyle met his own eyes in the mirror, studying himself, searching for some visible reason Nate had fallen in love with him in the first place, much less waited years for him. “Why me?” he whispered.
“What do you mean, sweetheart?”
Shifting his gaze, he met his mother's eyes. “Why does he want me?” He shook his head and looked at his reflection again, his voice low. “He's...perfect. Amazing. He's like a...super man.” Pressure squeezed Kyle's chest and throat. “He deserves more than...” he motioned towards the mirror. “...this.”
Janice smiled and tears glistened. “Kyle, baby.” she said softly, sincerely. “You're Nate's whole world. I was there when he thought he'd lost you.” Her voice strained. “He nearly died himself...and would have if you hadn't come back to him. Honey, don't ever think that you're not everything he could ever want or need in this life.”
“Sometimes this feels...too good to be true, you know?” He looked at his mom. “I keep thinking – what if I'm still in the hospital, and all this is just a dream. Sometimes...I'm scared to go to sleep...afraid it'll all go away.”
His mom's eyes shimmered. She held his hands. “It isn't a dream, Kyle.” she said softly. “It's real. And here very soon...a most amazing man is going to be standing out there, eagerly waiting to marry you, and start his life with you. It's for real, sweetheart. And you deserve it. You deserve Nate.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, then smiled. “And he deserves you.”
“Well, I don't know about that.”
Kyle and Janice turned to see Nate in the doorway, leaning casually against the door frame, a crooked smile on his perfect lips, eyes shining like the sun.
Pressure swelled Kyle's chest as his love for the man bubbled up and overflowed.
God, baby, you're so beautiful.
♦
“Mind if I have a word with the man of the hour?” Nate pushed away from the door frame and entered the room.
Janice nodded and smiled, then squeezed her son's hand. “Of course.” She touched Nate's arm gently as she walked past and cast him a quick – My son's about to have a meltdown – look. Nate smiled and nodded. He would handle Kyle.
The door closed quietly behind Janice. Nate gazed at Kyle. The man put on a brave face, covered his anxiety with his classic smirk, but he had nothing to veil his eyes – always the direct window to his heart, his hidden fears.
“Isn't it bad luck for us to see each other?” Kyle smirked. “Isn't that the tradition?”
Nate shrugged and grinned, waving his hand absently. “That's a bride curse.” He walked over to Kyle and straightened his tie a bit, then kissed him. His fingers started to comb up through his hair when Kyle pulled back and ducked away from him, running a quick hand over his hair.
“Hey, my hair.” he smiled. “You're gonna mess it up.”
Nate laughed. “Sorry, Cinderella.” He held up his hands. “My bad.”
“You want me to look perfect, don't you?” Kyle carefully smoothed his hands over his hair as he looked in the mirror.
“Is that what you're going for?” Nate grinned. “Perfection?”
“Fuck you.” Kyle sneered. “I look damn good.”
Indeed. Nate gazed at him, smiling. “Yeah, you do.” He turned Kyle towards him and smoothed out his tux jacket, then smirked, “But you're still no super man.”
Kyle groaned and shook his head. A shimmer of embarrassment flushed his face and Nate's heart shuddered. Still, he couldn't suppress a chuckle.
“You know it's rude to eves drop.” Kyle muttered and studied his reflection again.
Standing behind him, Nate rested his hands on Kyle's waist and kissed his shoulder, grinning. “You're gonna be my husband.” he murmured. “Nothing should come out of that mouth that I'm not allowed to hear.”
“After we're married.” Kyle pointed out. “Until then, stop...listening in on private conversations.”
Nate nibbled his ear. “Then stop talking silly shit.”
“What silly shit?”
“That you're not good enough for me.” Nate dropped the humor and let the seriousness of his words seep in. His arms slid around Kyle's waist and he kissed his neck as he met his eyes in the mirror. “Asking why I love you.”
Kyle's lips pressed tight and he glanced away from Nate's gaze.
“Your mom was right.” Nate said quietly. “You're everything I've ever wanted. And I don't care if you understand it or not – deal with it.” He smiled softly and kissed Kyle's neck a second time. “Accept it, babe. It is what it is. And always will be.”
Some of the tension left Kyle's body and he relaxed a little against Nate's chest. He gazed at Nate in the mirror. “You're really ready to hitch yourself to this bag of craziness – for the rest of your life?”
“I am.” Nate chuckled.
“Sure you can handle all this?”
Nate laughed and squeezed Kyle in his arms. “I think I've already proved that I can.”
“Wanna prove it again?” Kyle's lips twisted and he shot Nate a look that stabbed right to his crotch. “One last hoo-rah as single guys?”
Nate groaned and shoved his face against Kyle's throat. “You little shit, don't tempt me like that just before I have to go stand before a room full people.”
“Is that a no, then?”
“We're already dressed and ready to do this thing.” Nate said, but even he could hear the strain in his voice that belied his desires to rip off Kyle's tux and take him right there. “Besides,” he murmured and kissed his cheek. “I wouldn't want to mess your hair.”
Twisting around, Kyle faced him and flattened his hands on Nate's shoulders, his thumbs stroking each side of Nate's neck, causing him to quiver with need. Just the slightest touch from Kyle could drive him over the edge.
“I would forgive you.” The impish smile of Kyle's lips wasn't enough to reach up and shield the anxiety in his eyes.
You're stalling, baby. You're scared to go out there.
His heart fluttering, Nate leaned down and kissed Kyle's mouth. “You're going to do great, baby.” he whispered. “Everything is going to go just fine.”
Kyle wrapped his arms around Nate's neck and hugged him tight. “What if I fuck up?” A sudden tightness squeezed his words and caused Nate's heart to ache. “I don't want to ruin this.”
I don't want to ruin this for you. That's what he really meant. His fear was genuine, as was his concern at making a mess of what should be a perfect moment in Nate's memory.
“You're not going to fuck up, or ruin anything, Kyle.” Nate rubbed his hands on Kyle's back soothingly and nuzzled his ear. “As long as you say I Do when the preacher asks if you'll be mine forever...then that's all I really need for this day to be perfect.” He kissed his neck just below his ear. “Baby, everything else is just icing.” He drew back enough to kiss Kyle's lips. “You're my first.” He kissed him again. “My last.” And once more. “My everything. You just being here with me today, wanting me, needing me...loving me the way I love you...” His eyes stung and he kissed him again. “Baby, it's already perfect. Nothing can ruin it.” He smiled and touched his forehead to Kyle's brow. “Not even a sexy, wild boy.”
“Thank you.” Kyle swallowed thickly then initiated the kiss this time. “You always know how to make me feel better.”
“That's my job.” Nate smiled. “Now more than ever.” He rubbed his hands down Kyle's back then gripped his ass lightly. “And if you start to get nervous,” he murmured, “Just think about tonight...and how good I'm really going to make you feel.”
Kyle grinned. “I don't want to think about that when everyone's looking. Can't really disguise those thoughts.” He nudged Nate and smirked, “Especially after you cut me off all this last week. You know I'm barely keeping it in my pants as it is.”
“Shit.” Nate laughed and hugged him tighter, squeezing his ass a bit harder. “You ain't the only one, baby. I'm so ready to get at you.”
“Maybe I should deny you tonight.” Kyle surmised. “Pay you back for making me suffer all week.”
Nate laughed again. “Yeah. As if.” He kissed Kyle's mouth. “We'll be lucky to make it to the room before you're all over me.”
Kyle started to argue the point, then shrugged and grinned. “No, you're right. I'll fuck you in the nearest closet, I don't care.”
“Hmmm...” Nate looked thoughtful then chuckled. “Maybe.” He rubbed the back of his fingers down Kyle's face and grinned. “Smooth as a baby's butt. Nice. Close shave there, no nicks. Very good.”
“It isn't my first time.” Kyle informed and shook his head, smirking.
“It isn't?” A teasing smile curved his lips. “When did you get old enough to shave?”
“Fuck you.” Kyle laughed and shoved at Nate, but he didn't budge.
“Don't tempt me this close to game time.” Nate whispered low, conspiratorial. “I might just take you up-”
A quiet knock then the door opened part way. Greyson leaned in. “It's almost time.” he said. “You boys about ready?”
Nate planted one more kiss on Kyle's lips then released him and walked to the door. “Yeah.” he grinned then looked at Kyle. “Better get me out of here before my husband-to-be sexually assaults me.”
“Bite me.” Kyle sneered and flipped him off.
Nate winked. “Later, babe. I promise.”
♦
When Nate was gone, Greyson stepped into the room and walked over to Kyle. “How you holding up?”
A nervous laugh emitted forth and Kyle smiled anxiously. “I'm pretty sure I'm either gonna throw up...or piss my pants.”
Greyson laughed and squeezed his shoulder. “You'll be fine.”
“So they keep telling me.” Kyle mused.
Greyson gazed at Kyle's reflection in the tall mirror. A remnant of grief pressed against the inside of his chest. There were moments – huge moments like these – when it hit him all over again that this was just one more thing he'd never share with Ian.
Kyle met his eyes in the mirror, and smiled. Greyson's eyes stung.
“Are you okay?” Kyle laughed low.
“Yeah.” Greyson's throat was tight, thick. He squeezed the boy's shoulder again and nodded. “All is well.” He hadn't been left without anything. A glimmer of his son remained – in Kyle. And the young man himself was a blessing all his own.
Kyle subconsciously bit his lip. He was nervous. Every young man should be allowed to have a proud, adoring father with him in this moment. Greyson had heard enough about Jim Haney to know he'd been a good man and a great father.
He stepped closer and slid his arm across Kyle's shoulder, hugging the boy against him. “I know I'm not your father, and no one could take the place of him being here today.” He licked his lips, his eyes glossing. “But for whatever it's worth...I'm proud of you. And I'm honored to share in this celebration of love. You and Nate...you're a perfect match. I know you'll have a long and happy life together.”
His lips pressed tight and eyes shimmering, Kyle hugged him. “Don't say for whatever it's worth like it might not mean that much to me.” Kyle choked quietly. “It means everything.” He drew back and smiled, tears barely contained. “And just so you know, the next wedding we attend – I expect it to be yours and mom's.”
Greyson's heart swelled. He'd wondered at times what Kyle would think of him marrying Janice, knowing how close Kyle had been with his dad. But hearing those words from the boy now, feeling how supportive Kyle was, it was everything he could hope for.
When he didn't answer immediately, Kyle told him, “You're forever a part of our family now.”
Greyson hugged him again. “Then I am truly a blessed man.”
Entering quietly, Janice approached them. “Hey, don't use up all my son's hugs before I get me some.”
“By all means.” Greyson chuckled and stepped back as Janice moved in and embraced Kyle.
The two hugged, then Kyle pulled back and smiled at his mom. “You're okay with being my best...mom...right?”
Janice laughed softly. “I'm thrilled, honey.”
“Well, it just seemed fitting.” Kyle said. “You and Nate...you're my two best friends. And I'm marrying him, so it just seemed right that you should be the one to stand up there with me.”
Janice wiped tears from her face. “I'm honored, sweetheart.” She hugged him again then kissed his cheek. “Now come on.” She smiled. “Nate's waiting on you to make him the happiest man in the whole world.”
♦
The most beautiful sight in all the earth materialized before Kyle's eyes when he stepped to the doorway and faltered. Just a few yards away stood God's greatest creation – wrapped up in a simple country boy who, at the moment, seemed so out of place – though insanely handsome – in the black tux; tie perfect, as expected. Hair shining in the bright lights cascading down from the high ceiling of the sanctuary.
Kyle was helpless to just stand and stare, his new, young heart going wild in his chest. Thank you, Ian, he offered silently, gratitude bursting out with every strong beat of his heart. Nate blurred and shimmered before him. They had come so close to losing everything, never having the chance to be right here, ready to begin their lives together. Breath rattled in his throat and he swallowed quick, pressing his lips tight.
“Ready to tie that knot?” Greyson clamped his hand on Kyle's shoulder and smiled.
Kyle gazed at Nate. His nerves wound out tight and twisted up his guts, but even so he couldn't wait to go out there and make the man his own – for keeps.
“Yeah.” A nervous smile crept across his lips. “I am.”
♦
A low, controlled breath slipped quietly from between Nate's lips. Don't fidget, he berated silently when his feet tried to shift anxiously. He did his damnedest not to appear as nervous as he felt. What was it Kyle had said to his mom? I bet Nate isn't even sweating. Mr. Perfect just takes everything in stride.
Nate bit his tongue to keep from laughing out loud. The little shit, if he only knew. Nothing was more nerve racking than standing out there alone, in front of everyone, his own silent, irrational fears racing circles inside his head. What if Kyle lost his nerve at the last minute, left him at the alter?
Of course he didn't really think that would happen. It better not, Nate warned Kyle in his mind. You pull something like that and I swear to God I'll kick your ass-
His anxious eyes fell on Kyle, standing in doorway just a short distance away. The way Kyle was looking at him weakened his knees and quickened his pulse so suddenly, and to such a degree it made his head spin, causing a brief dizzy spell. His eyes stung and he had to force himself not to rush over to the man, suddenly desperate to be near him, touch him.
Their eyes held as a smile graced Kyle's lips and he walked out into the sanctuary towards Nate, followed by Janice and Greyson. The closer Kyle came, the harder Nate's heart beat against his ribs. And that look in Kyle's gorgeous eyes floored Nate, and left him wondering how he was even still on his feet. That look that Nate prayed Kyle was seeing in his eyes as well.
There's no place I'd rather be than right here, right now, with you – the love and light of my life.
The Wedding (pt. 2)
“With This Ring”
♦
J U S T breathe. You can do this. You're not gonna feint OR throw up.
His silent pep talk wasn't doing much good, because Kyle felt certain he might well do both. Wouldn't that be a precious memory? Throw in a few photos to immortalize the event. Lovely.
A light pressure squeezed his hand and he looked up. Nate was gazing at him, a smile pulling at the right corner of his mouth. He squeezed Kyle's hand reassuringly and winked. Relax, baby, you're gonna do just fine.
The power behind that look, the touch of his hand, blasted through Kyle's anxiety, eradicating a good portion of it. No matter what happened, how good or bad he did here today, when it was all over – he and Nate would be married. And the look in Nate's eyes reminded him all over again that that's all that really mattered. Everything else was just fluff.
Kyle squeezed Nate's hand and smiled, signifying he got it. There was slight dampness to Nate's palm and when he looked at the man's face, a faint glossy sheen tainted his hairline across his brow and at his temples. Taking it in stride, my ass. You're shittin' bricks.
“What?” Nate murmured low when Kyle ducked his head and grinned.
“Nothing.” he whispered. “Just nice to know I'm not the only one sweating bullets.”
Squeezing Kyle's hand again, Nate just chuckled low and looked forward when the preacher signaled he was ready to begin.
Oh God, this is it, Kyle thought. Just three quick requests, Lord – strengthen my bladder, calm my stomach and clear my head. Amen.
♦
Kyle clutched his hand so tight Nate nearly winced. A slight tremor ran through the guy's touch. Or was it he himself quaking? Nate couldn't be sure. Standing face to face with one's dream, about to watch it unfold, come true, right before your very eyes – it was both the most beautiful and most frightening thing in the world. People dreamed all their lives, and it seemed only a select few ever saw those dreams materialize into reality. Nate had never really believed he would be one of the chosen to have it all handed to him. And it scared him to death to be given such a blessing, to hold a gift this precious in his hands, knowing it was up to him now to nurture it, protect it, never forget how special it is.
Kyle squeezed his hand again, as if assuring himself Nate was really there, in the flesh, and not merely an illusion. Nate glanced at him, needing his own assurances that this wasn't all just some manifestation of his own mind.
When Kyle's fingers tightened around his hand once more, the man's words to his mom – “He's like a Super man” – wrapped warmly around Nate's heart. Kyle was cocky and covered up a lot of how he truly felt, but it was no secret to Nate that that was how Kyle had always seen him; like a Super man. He knew that no matter what he got himself into, or what threat life thrust at him...Nate would be there, protecting him at all costs. And it was true. Nate would stand between Kyle and any level of threat – even Death himself.
Nate glanced at Greyson, who stood to his right. The man smiled and gave him an encouraging nod. Janice was at Kyle's left and touched his arm, squeezing affectionately. Her soft eyes shimmered as she looked past her son and met Nate's gaze briefly. She trusted him to take care of Kyle, and he knew it gave her great comfort to know Nate would be with Kyle every day of his life. After what they had all went through, a part of her would always worry about her son. But now Nate would be there, always watching over him, looking out for him, making sure he had no setbacks. Even if by some strange occurrence Kyle had turned down Nate's proposal – he still wouldn't have left the man's side, even if it had meant him moving to LA and living in the same house with them. He would've never again let Kyle out of his sight.
He looked at Kyle, just a few bare inches shorter than himself. Anxiety tightened the man's face, but his eyes glowed. Kyle loved him and right here beside Nate was where he most wanted to be, Nate could feel it in the way Kyle held his hand – as if no force on earth or in heaven could tear him loose from Nate.
The need to hold the guy in his arms consumed Nate, but he resisted it for the time being as the preacher began to speak.
“Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and angels, and the presence of friends and loved ones, to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to the words which shall unite Nate Westfall and Kyle Haney in holy matrimony.”
Holy matrimony. A warmth seeped through Nate's body. Not so long ago he believed God rejected – even hated – everything he and Kyle were. But to hear those words now – Holy Matrimony – it gave him a level of comfort he hadn't known he needed, that certainty that this was a union joined by God himself.
The preacher continued. “We have been called together as witnesses to the happiness which this couple has found together, and to the mutual caring and responsibility for their common life. Marriage is a most honorable estate, created and instituted by God, signifying unto us the mystical union, which also rests between Christ and the Church; so too may this marriage be adorned by true and abiding love. Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, they must speak now or forever hold their peace.”
The man's words seemed muffled, even distant, against the deafening thump of Nate's heart. He silently dared anyone to set foot in here and oppose their union. Nate held Kyle's hand firmly, squeezing with assurance, as if to say – Don't worry, baby, anyone tries to stop us and they'll be going out horizontally.
The preacher looked at Nate and Kyle, and smiled. “Today is truly a glorious day the Lord hath made – as today both of you are blessed with God’s greatest of all gifts – the gift of abiding love and devotion for one another. All present here today – and those here in heart and spirit – wish both of you all the joy, happiness and success the world has to offer.”
Nate glanced at Kyle, whose eyes glistened at the preacher's words – Those here in heart and spirit. Nate believed with all his heart that both Kyle's dad and Ian were here with them today. If he looked long enough, he could almost see Jim Haney standing at Kyle's side with Janice, his strong, gentle hand resting on Kyle's shoulder, eyes glowing with an abundance of pride. Nate's vision blurred and he blinked back the tears. He faced forward again and focused on the preacher's words.
“As you travel through life together, I caution you to remember that the true measure of success, the true avenue to joy and peace, is to be found within the love you hold in your hearts. I would ask that you hold the key to your heart very tightly.”
When Kyle's fingers tightened around Nate's hand, he looked at the guy again. Kyle was gazing at him, so much love pouring out of him that it nearly broke Nate right there. It was on his mind to ask the preacher to please hurry and get to the end because he desperately needed to kiss this boy.
The corner of Nate's mouth twitched with a smile and he winked softly at Kyle.
“Within the Bible, nothing is of more importance than love.” The preacher continued. “We are told the crystalline and beautiful truth: God is Love. We are assured that Love conquers all.” He looked from Nate to Kyle. “It is love, which brings you here today, the union of two hearts and two spirits. As your lives continue to interweave as one pattern, remember that it was love that brought you here today, it is love that will make this a glorious union, and it is love which will cause this union to endure.”
A quick replay of the last few months spun through Nate's head. The fear, anger, bitterness, pain, cursing God, begging God, crying, screaming, hurting...then suddenly – it was all over. Like a violent storm suddenly dissipating into thin air, leaving behind blue skies and sunshine. Like a perfect gift from God – Kyle was handed back to them. As good as new.
A warm tear was working its way down Nate's cheek, but he left it alone, didn't attempt to wipe it away. His pulse quickened as all his focus went to the warmth of Kyle's hand tucked securely within his own. Thank you, God. It seemed such an understatement for how deep and strong his gratitude truly was. He was just a simple man, and he prayed that God could feel all that he truly meant in that simple thank you.
“I'll now read the scriptures chosen by Janice Haney in dedication to the couple.” The preacher opened his bible to a marked passage. “From the Song of Solomon. Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm, for love is strong as death. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine. His mouth is most sweet, yea he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend.”
♦
This is my beloved and this is my friend.
Intense emotion squeezed Kyle's heart; no words could reflect more perfectly what Nate was to him. My beloved...my friend. His throat closed and he resisted the tears stinging his eyes. Nate's hand squeezed his as the preacher read the passages. There was no doubt in his heart that he was everything to Nate that Nate was to him.
The preacher closed the bible and looked at them both. “Nate and Kyle, please join hands and face each other.”
Kyle turned towards Nate and slipped his free hand into Nate's. The man grasp both his hands securely and he could sense Nate's desire to just pull him close, bury Kyle in his arms. He gazed at Nate's handsome face, and watched that one tear as it lingered on his cheek. He longed to lean up and kiss it way, but if he got that close to Nate's mouth, he would start kissing the man and not be able to stop.
“Kyle.” Kyle pulled his eyes from Nate's face and looked at the preacher, his heart doing a crazy jitterbug in his chest. “Are you ready to join Nate in a lifelong union, believing that your love and faith will endure all things?”
His vision blurred as he looked at Nate again. The man gazed at him, his heart in his eyes, and Kyle's own heart went crazy. “I am.” His voice shook, but he couldn't steady it.
The preacher turned to Nate. “Nate, are you ready to join Kyle in a lifelong union, believing that your love and faith will endure all things?”
Nate never took his eyes off Kyle. “I am.” he said quietly, voice thick and strained, but much more steady than Kyle's. How do you do it? Kyle wondered, unable to prevent the smile playing at the corners of his mouth. You're so...together. It isn't fair.
Nate's lips tightened just a little, resisting the smile trying to take over, as he seemed to be reading Kyle's mind. He loved how in sync Nate was with him, though it made it near to impossible to fool the guy. Hopefully there would never be anything he wanted to keep secret from him.
“The pledges you will now repeat.” The preacher spoke up. “Are a testament of your intent to love each other for all of your natural life on this earth.”
Anxiety assaulted Kyle and he went a little light-headed. The vows. Up to this point he'd kept it together, for the most part. But he hadn't had to say anything short of I am – and his voice had trembled with just those two words. Already his throat was beginning to close and his legs feeling like a rubber hose that had been laying out in the hot sun too long.
Oh God, please...let me get through this without embarrassing myself or Nate.
♦
Tiny shudders ran through Kyle and he clutched Nate's hands in desperation. Though his face remained neutral, his beautiful eyes resonated his fear and tension. How is it you're this nervous just standing up here – after that little performance at the pizzeria? You sure weren't nervous about being the center of attention then.
The sudden memory of that night sent sharp, tingling shivers racing through Nate's body. Maybe he could get the boy to pour himself back into those sweet leather pants tonight and execute another little performance.
When the preacher cleared his throat to begin speaking, Nate's mind snapped back to the here and now. And the nervousness Kyle was suffering, began to seep into Nate as well. He'd wanted this for so long, and though a part of him had always hoped it would happen...a greater part of him feared it never would. He gazed at Kyle's face, held his eyes, prayed that Kyle could see his heart right this moment and know how special he was to Nate. You are my whole world, baby.
He sucked in a quiet, deep breath and released it slow when the preacher began, struggling to control the beat of his heart and failing miserably as it raced and thumped and occasionally stalled.
“Nate, do you take Kyle to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only to him, for as long as you both shall live?”
In sickness and in health. Nate's throat squeezed and his eyes filled with tears before he could fight them. Love, honor, cherish...and protect. Kyle's face shimmered and swam before him. Baby, I would die for you. He cleared his throat then swallowed thickly. “I do.”
♦
I do.
It seemed this day, this very moment, had played a million times over in Kyle's mind as he'd envisioned the ceremony in his head from the second Nate had proposed. He'd heard Nate say 'I do' over and again in each scenario. But never had he imagined that the real thing would pack such a punch, or sound so heavenly.
I do. Those two tiny words saying so much. They were Nate telling Kyle, in no uncertain terms – 'I am yours and yours alone, now and forever'.
Nate's eyes glossed thickly with tears and Kyle could feel his nervousness in his hands. He'd just promised to have and to hold Kyle in sickness and in health. Kyle squeezed his hands. Baby, you've already made good those vows. And risked everything to protect me. In his own way, Nate had made these vows to Kyle long before today.
The preacher turned to Kyle. “Kyle, do you take Nate to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only to him, for as long as you both shall live?”
Nate's fingertips pressed gently into Kyle's palms. A sudden swelling of pride ballooned in Kyle's chest. He could barely contain it – the honor it gave him to be the one Nate loved, the one he wanted to spend his life with, share everything with. To be Nate's one and only.
The corners of Kyle's jaw tightened as a fierce stinging burned his eyes. He had to force himself not to jump up on the podium and shout out I Do! Best to keep it a bit lower key. He licked his lips slowly, swallowed through his clenched throat and murmured unsteadily, “I do.”
Nate's eyes held Kyle's so strong and Kyle watched fresh tears simmer in their depths. I do, Nate. I do. Today, tomorrow, forever – I do!
♦
A rush of love for his cute, nervous man engulfed Nate. The left corner of his mouth tugged with a smile. You're doing great, baby. Perfect. Probably better than me, if you knew the truth. At that thought, Nate resisted the urge to start tugging at the collar of his shirt as a fresh sheen of sweat layered his body and sucked his clothes uncomfortably against his heated skin.
“The couple has each prepared a personal declaration of love to his partner, in addition to their vows.” The preacher nodded, signifying they could begin the recitation.
Kyle's anxiety heightened. Nate understood fully. They had had minimal verbal participation so far. Now came the true testament of just who was the most nervous. He squeezed Kyle's hands and raised his eyebrows slowly. “You wanna go first?” he murmured too low for anyone but those standing nearby to hear.
Swallowing tightly, Kyle gave a slight shake of his head, then smiled anxiously. “No way.” he whispered. “Are you kidding? You...go first.”
Greyson and Janice laughed softly. Nate rolled his eyes and gave Kyle a mock sour look. “Thanks a lot.” he muttered, then smiled and winked. He raised both of Kyle's hands to his lips and kissed them warmly, his eyes closing briefly as he let everything and everyone fade away but for him and Kyle. This was between them, and the words he was about to speak – it only mattered that Kyle heard them.
“Kyle,” he started slow, fighting to keep his voice even. “I once thought that I fell in love with you with that first stolen kiss.” The corner of his mouth twitched, as did Kyle's. “But standing here with you now, I realize that you took my heart the very day I met you.” His lips pressed tight as his eyes began to burn. He blinked against the tears, but knew it would ultimately be a losing battle. “I was too young then to comprehend how much it would change my life just having you in it. How could I have known that what began as just another school yard friendship...would evolve into a once in a lifetime love?” His breath shuddered in his chest and up his throat as he held Kyle's hands deep and tight in his grasp. “You were...you are...a miracle to me, on so many levels. The one who was everything I had ever dreamed of. I always thought that the you who could love me the way I loved you...existed only in my imagination.”
Kyle shifted a little but never took his gaze off Nate's face. Tears were forming a thick, shimmering wall in the young man's eyes. There was a slight, yet noticeable working of his throat as he engaged in the same battle with Nate – struggling to keep the tears at bay.
“When you came to me, handed me your love in a way I never expected to receive it...I realized that what I had always thought was happiness couldn't compare to the joy of loving, and being loved by, you.” He felt the tears swelling out against his lashes as his heart slammed against his chest wall. God, how did anyone survive being in love this much? “Kyle, you are a part of everything I think and do and feel, and with you by my side...I believe that anything is possible. You are my dream come true.” A smile grabbed at the corner of his lips as he added with just a dash of tease. “And sometimes my nightmare.”
A slow grin spread across Kyle's lips and one tear escaped, sliding down his cheek.
Nate released one of his hands and gently touched Kyle's face, his thumb wiping away the tear. “This day.” Nate went on, voice thick with emotion. “Here before God and our loved ones...It gives me the chance to thank you for the miracle of you.” He again took hold of both of Kyle's hands and drew them to his lips as a tear of his own broke loose and weaved a course down his face. “You are, and always will be...heart of my heart, soul of my soul, the very air I breathe.” He kissed his hands once more. “Love of my life.”
♦
Kyle was trembling – but no longer with nervousness....rather an all-consuming wave of love for the man standing before him. He didn't understand the light in which Nate saw him, but he thanked God for its illuminating glow. Kyle was certain he would never really comprehend Nate's love for him, or from where it stemmed. But when something came to you so perfect and flawless – the smart man simply accepted it, without the need to pull it apart and see how it worked. Nate loved him and that's all he needed to understand.
“Kyle.” The preacher nodded at him.
Swallowing thickly, Kyle glanced at his mom. She smiled through her tears and touched his back with reassurance, nodding gently, her way of saying he would do just fine. At Nate's side, Greyson beamed at Kyle, as proud as if he were his flesh and blood son. Maybe that was how he saw him now. Kyle didn't mind.
Kyle licked his lips anxiously and Nate's hands tightened with encouragement as he gazed at him with his heart in his eyes. The man resonated strength – despite his glistening brow and fidgeting that he tried, for the most part successfully, to conceal.
“Nate,” The audible tremor in his voice unnerved him, but he wouldn't let it stop him. He wanted – needed – Nate to know how proud he was to be the one at his side today. And just how special Nate was to him. He would get it all out, even if he had to stumble over every word. “I don't remember my life before you were in it. You have always just...been there.” His lips tightened. “You are not only the love of my life...you are my best friend. You've seen me at my worst, my best, and everywhere in between. And somehow...” He licked his lips again and Nate shimmered before him. “Somehow you still love me.” He cleared his throat quietly. “You've looked out for me, taken care of me, and protected me. I always knew that if you were there...I was safe.”
The love in Nate's eyes just then nearly floored Kyle. He gripped Nate's hands harder, hoping it would add stability to his legs.
“You are more than just a man, Nate. You are a Super man.” His throat tightened. “My hero, from day one.” Another tear trailed the first one down Nate's cheek. He held onto Kyle so tight he nearly crushed his hands, but that was okay – he needed Nate holding onto him that way. “I want you to know that I love you...not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you...not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.”
As he stared at Nate, his glistening eyes were whispering – Just look at me, baby. You're doing great. You have nothing to fear. I'm right here, where I'll always be.
“I love you for the part of me that you bring out.” Kyle let the warmth of Nate's hands, the security of his grip, feed him strength. “I love you for putting your hand into my...heap-up heart and passing over all the...foolish, weak things that you can't help seeing there. And for drawing out into the light all the good in me that no one else looked quite far enough to find.” He bit his lips between his teeth briefly, his chin trembling, then pushed on, his words shaking, at times breaking. “I love you because...you have done more than...any creed could have done...to make me good...any fate to make me happy.”
His throat was trying to close as the tears came more steadily now. Nate squeezed his hands a fraction tighter and discreetly drew him forward an inch or so, letting him know how desperately he wanted him in his arms at this very moment, how touched he was by Kyle's words.
Kyle forced himself to breathe, to remain in control – at least somewhat. “You did it without...a touch, without a word, without a sign.” His heart began to melt beneath the heat of Nate's love pouring down on him. “You did it by just...being yourself. You are my first...my last...my everything. I will take the last breath of this life...still loving you.”
♦
Everything outside his and Kyle's zone had faded to a dull hum in Nate's ears. He couldn't take his eyes off Kyle's face. How in the hell could this beautiful, amazing man ever think he wasn't good enough for Nate? The wet sheen of tears in Kyle's eyes gave view to that insecure boy that lived inside him, always worried when it came to the truly important things. Always fearful of disappointing Nate.
Nate kissed his hands again and smiled, assuring him that he'd been amazing.
The preacher asked them to face him. Nate released Kyle's hands as they looked at the man.
“It is custom to exchange rings as a symbol of the love and devotion the happy couple have for one another.” The preacher said, then turned to Nate. “Nate, what token do you give that you will perform your vows?”
Greyson handed Nate the ring that he'd had specially engraved with the same inscription as on Kyle's dad's ring. Nate then gave the ring to the preacher, who addressed Kyle. “Kyle, do you receive this ring in token of the same?”
“I do.” Kyle was clearly trying to speak loud enough for those sitting to hear, but it came out soft and low, unsteady.
The preacher returned the ring to Nate. “Place the ring on Kyle's finger. And repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.”
Nate took hold of Kyle's left hand and held it gently as he slid the ring on him for the second time. His chest squeezed as an ache crawled up his neck and into his face, stinging his eyes. “With this ring...I thee wed.” He slid his thumb over the surface of the ring and stared at it a moment, just taking in what it truly symbolized. Kyle was his. Finally, truly his.
“Kyle.” The preacher faced Kyle. “What token do you give that you will perform your vows?”
Turning to his mom, Janice placed her husband's ring gently in her son's palm. Tears filled her eyes and she dabbed them away with a white cloth, though more took their place. Kyle left a soft kiss on her cheek, struggling with a fresh well of his own tears. He faced the preacher and handed him the ring.
“Nate.” The preacher said. “Do you receive this ring in token of the same?”
Nate looked at Kyle. “I do.”
The preacher handed the ring back to Kyle. “Place the ring on Nate's finger, and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.”
Kyle's fingers shook a little as he lifted Nate's left hand and gently slid the ring on his finger, then raised his eyes to Nate's soft gaze. “With this ring, I thee wed.” They both looked at the ring as Kyle's thumb caressed it lightly. Nate recalled that instant when it had first slipped out of Kyle's jeans and hit the hearth of the fireplace up at the cabin. That day, the sight of the ring had destroyed him, ripped his heart into so many pieces he hadn't expected to survive the pain. He could see in Kyle's face that he was remembering that morning as well. The day they had nearly lost one another forever. He hadn't known that so much pain and anguish could be compiled into one single day.
When Kyle had left the ring behind, Nate had wondered how such a small, inanimate object could impact people's lives in such a powerful way. That for some it was the fulfillment of their sweetest dream, and for others...total destruction of their lives. Nate had been so convinced that it meant the latter for him.
With Kyle holding his hand now, looking into those eyes so bright and full of love for Nate – he wondered how he could have ever thought Kyle would use him, hurt him. But it had been the fear and panic that had taken over. It had never crossed his mind that Kyle had brought the ring for him...or that one day it would lead them to this place and time. Nate had carried the ring with him through those dark days, hoping against hope, against all odds, that Kyle would come back to him and be standing here next to him some day, placing that very ring on his finger as he pledged his love to him for life and longer.
It had become the fulfillment of his sweetest dream after all.
♦
“Nate and Kyle...please join hands.” The preached instructed. They stood facing one another, each holding the others hands tight and secure. “In so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in holy matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, the giving of the these rings and the joining of your hands.” He smiled warmly. “It is my honor and pleasure to now pronounce you husband and husband, partners for life.”
That was it. Kyle's resistance disintegrated with the preacher's pronouncement. The tears began slip free, one after another. There was no stopping them. But Nate matched him, tear for tear.
“Would everyone please stand.” The preacher said. “As we join in prayer for the newlywed couple.”
A rustle of noise reverberated through the sanctuary as the guests stood to their feet. Janice and Greyson moved close and held hands. His mom placed her free hand gently on Kyle's back as Greyson squeezed Nate's shoulder with affection.
All heads bowed as the preacher spoke the prayer aloud. “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up his countenance unto you, and give you peace. Amen.”
A soft murmur of Amens drifted through the sanctuary.
The preacher smiled. “Congratulations.” he said. “You may now both kiss your husband.”
Nate gave Kyle a look that reflected Kyle's own thoughts perfectly – Ah, the part I've been waiting for.
Then Nate's arms were around him, crushing him, holding him. When Nate's lips touched his, the world fell away and it was only him and Nate, alone in the universe. In that single moment, as his new husband's kiss consumed him, nothing and no one else existed.
It seemed an eternity before their kiss ended and Nate was hugging him so tight he couldn't breathe, whispering to him, “You were absolutely perfect, baby.” He kissed Kyle's ear softly. “I love you, Kyle. Thank you...for making me the happiest man in the world.”
Kyle squeezed his arms around Nate's neck and cried, whispering his love and gratitude in return.
This is real. We're really here. It isn't just a dream.
All the bad stuff was really over. He was awake, he was safe. Until this moment, he hadn't been certain. But as Nate's strong arms held him secure against his warm body, their hearts beating in perfect unison, Kyle knew it was true. He was with Nate for real. He was home.
The Wedding (pt. 3)
“I’ll Be Your Hero, Baby”
♦
“I K N O W it's tradition for the best man to make the toast to the newlyweds.” Nate stood, glass of champagne in hand. “But I think we can all agree that this is hardly a traditional wedding.” He smiled and looked at Kyle, winking softly. The guy leaned back in his chair, a light smirk playing on his lips. Now that the pressure of the ceremony was off, he appeared much more relaxed. Nate's heart went crazy in his chest but he struggled to calm it as he tried to speak with an even tone. “So I want to make a toast.” His eyes shifted from the love of his life – to the woman who had been the only real mother he had ever known. “To my new mother-in-law. Janice Haney.”
Mild shock brightened the woman's eyes and she smiled. Nate hadn't told her, or anyone – even Kyle – what he planned to say here today. Kyle looked up at him with as much surprise as his mom.
“Janice...mom.” Nate smiled and raised an eyebrow. “I can call you mom now, right?”
Janice looked at him with a smirky smile that gave evidence to where Kyle inherited his own. “Haven't you always?”
“Well, yeah, I guess I have.” Nate chuckled, then sobered a bit. “I never told you this in so many words, but...from the first day Kyle dragged me to your house...I wished for you to be my mom.” His eyes glossed and he cleared his throat as it began to tighten. “You know what my home life was like. What...my parents were like.” Janice gazed at him, tears glistening. She and Jim knew enough about Nate's parents to know his house...wasn't a home. “I didn't even know families like yours existed outside of tv...until I met Kyle, all of you.”
His throat knotting, he glanced at Kyle. The guy's eyes had their own sheen. He reached out and touched Nate's leg affectionately. Nate smiled at him as he worked up his next words.
“I remember the day I met Kyle.” his smile widened as he gazed at the boy he now realized he had loved nearly all his life. “I was in third grade and had just moved to town. I didn't know anyone at school. I remember sitting outside at one of the picnic tables they had at the edge of the playground. I had a sack lunch I'd made myself, so it wasn't too exotic, just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” He licked his lips. Kyle smiled as Nate recounted the story. “I was minding my own business when Kenny Parsons, the school bully, comes over and starts messing with me. Mostly because I was the new kid, I think. He was a fifth grader who looked like he had been held back a year or two.”
Kyle chuckled and nodded.
Nate grinned. “So he grabs my lunch and throws it on the ground and stomps on it. I'm not really afraid of the guy but if I go home with a black eye and my dad sees I've been in a fight – I'll have hell to pay. So I just sit there and try to ignore him, hoping he'll go away. No such luck.” he cleared his throat again and wiped his hand across his mouth, still grinning. “Anyway, he grabs me and shoves me down and tries to get me to fight, and all I can think about is the whipping my dad will give me if I do fight.” his grin faltered a bit as he added, “And I knew that no fifth grader could hit harder than my dad, so I figured it was better to get beat by the kid than my old man.”
A sadness glimmered in Janice's eyes when Nate spoke of his father – and how he treated him.
“So I'm there on the ground, waiting for the kid to start kicking me or punching me.” his grin came back as he looked at Kyle. “And out of nowhere, this scrawny little kid appears, looked like he should be a second grader, but I had seen him in one of my classes, so I knew he was in my grade.”
“I wasn't so scrawny.” Kyle muttered with a smirk.
“You were a twig.” Nate chuckled, then continued. “So he walks right up to Kenny Parsons and tells the guy to leave me alone and, of course, had to throw in a few insults. And I'm thinking we're both gonna get the snot beat out of us. Kenny threatens him and smart ass, scrawny little Kyle hauls off and kicks the guy in the jewels – and takes off running. As soon as Kenny gets his breath, he's right after him. I see Kyle cut into an alcove and know it's a dead end. So I'm thinking if someone don't help him, the kid is gonna die that day.”
Kyle snorted. “I could'a taken him.”
“Uh huh.” Nate rolled him eyes. “I figured I owed it to the little shit to at least come to his aid since he, basically, saved my skin. And I run over to the alcove and Kyle is backed up against the brick wall with Kenny bearing down on him.”
Kyle stood up and halted him. “Let me tell the rest.”
“Why?” Nate stared at him, eyebrow cocked.
“Because I'm better at it.” Kyle smirked. “And your long-winded stories are gonna keep us here all day.”
Nate shrugged and grinned. “Fine. Go to it, master storyteller.”
“Thank you.” Kyle smirked, then continued the story. “So I'm saying my prayers, right – and pretty sure God is ignoring me, pretending not to know me – but then all of the sudden, Nate is standing between me and this kid.”
Nate gazed at Kyle, smiling. It was the very first time he had stepped between Kyle and an imminent beating – albeit not the last.
“Nate tells Kenny to back off or he'll be sorry. Of course, the guy just laughs at him then punches him in the face. Nate goes down like a sack of potatoes, but springs back to his feet like a boomerang, face bleeding but fists up like some miniature prize fighter and he goes to wailing on the kid, knocking the shit out of him.” He glanced at his mom and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry moms, I mean, knocking the snot out of him.”
“That's better.” Janice nodded. A ripple of soft laughter swept through the room.
Nate chuckled and watched Kyle's face, the guy's eyes lighting up as he told this part of the story.
“When Kenny knew he'd met his match, he ran away, bawling and bleeding.” Kyle laughed low. “And here is Nate, face bleeding, knuckles scraped, shirt mangled – and he asks me if I'm all right.” he chuckled and gave Nate a look that shot straight to his heart. His voice softened and layered with a trace of emotion. “You were my hero that day...and every day since.”
His chest tightening, heart swelling, Nate fought the tears that welled up at Kyle's words. From that day on, he'd had Kyle's back...and vice versa. Kyle didn't care if it meant taking a pummeling, he'd fight for Nate every bit as quick as Nate would fight for him. They had fallen in love that day on the playground, and didn't even know it.
Nate leaned over and kissed Kyle. “You're my hero too, baby.” he whispered. “Now can I finish my toast?”
Chuckling, Kyle sat back down. “Toast away.”
Nate cleared his throat and looked at Janice. Maybe all this stuff were things he should be saying to the woman just amongst their small family, but he wanted everyone to know just how powerfully the woman, and her late husband, had impacted his life. “When Kyle convinced me – or rather dragged me – home with him that day, I was actually scared to walk in your house with obvious signs of having been in a fight. I thought I might get in trouble, or maybe Kyle would.” He paused, his lips pressing tight as his throat squeezed, remembering that day as if it were yesterday. “I remember...” he smiled, his eyes stinging. “...the shocked look on your face when you saw me. Before Kyle could even introduce me, you had me in a chair, tending to my face, fussing all over me.” he shook his head, her face blurring before him. “I just sat there in my own shock, just staring at you with one single thought in my head.” He cleared his throat again as it began to knot tighter. “I wish you were my mom.”
Tears shimmered in Janice's eyes as she touched her fingertips to her lips.
“When I went home that day.” Nate said, his voice straining at the vivid memory. “My dad didn't give me a chance to explain what happened. He took his belt to me then sent me to bed without supper.” Nate glanced at Kyle. The young man made no attempt to conceal the pain in his eyes. He had always blamed himself for the beating Nate took from his dad that day, even though it would have happened anyway – if Kyle hadn't intervened, Kenny would have still forced Nate to fight him. But that wasn't how Kyle saw it. To this day, he bore the blame for it. He gave Kyle a warm – I'll always love you for trying to help me that day – smile. “I never regretted fighting for Kyle...even while my dad was lashing me. I knew I would do it all over again the next day if I had to.”
He sucked in a shaky breath and rubbed his mouth. “When I got to my room, I knelt beside my bed for probably the first time ever and prayed to God.” he ducked his head briefly before raising up and looking at Janice again. “I never prayed. I didn't think God liked me. I mean, how could he if he let my parents treat me the way they did? But that day, I prayed...and I asked him to make me a part of your family...for you and Jim to be my real parents.” He laughed softly, sniffing. “I was eight, not old enough yet to understand I was asking for a miracle. It was just...a desperate but honest request by an unwanted...unloved kid.”
Janice wiped her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand as she gazed at him.
“That's when I first began to really believe in God.” he said quietly. “Because he answered my prayer to a large degree when you and Jim and Kyle took me in as if I had always belonged with you. I always thought of your house as my real home, and all of you as my family. I don't honestly know what would have become of me...if I hadn't met Kyle that day. I don't know what kind of man I would have grown into...maybe one like my father.” He looked at Kyle. The man's eyes were rimmed in red as he wiped at his tears. “You saved my life...when you decided I was worth defending.” He smiled as a tear slipped free. “You were the real hero that day, baby.”
He returned his attention to Janice. “Today...God answered my prayer, in full. All I ever wanted was to be a part of your family.” He glanced at Kyle, his vision blurring. He reached down and took Kyle's hand, pulling him to his feet again. “And now I am.” He kissed Kyle deeply, touched his face tenderly then turned his eyes to Janice once more. “I want to ask if it would be all right with you,” He looked at Kyle. “Both of you...if I took Kyle's last name. I was never proud to call myself a Westfall. But...” he licked his lips slowly, tears sliding down his cheeks as he cupped Kyle's face with one hand and stroked his cheek with his thumb. “But I would be honored to be a Haney.”
♦
A warm numbing sensation swept through Kyle's heart, pumping through his body. He stared at Nate, throat knotted so tight he could barely swallow. Nate wanted to take his last name. He hadn't told Kyle any of this – not even about the toast to his mom. Why this caused him to want to break down and cry, he didn't know. But fresh tears were rising fast, distorting his vision.
“Kyle...” Nate's hand was still on his face, his thumb caressing his damp cheek. The love in the man's eyes reduced Kyle's heart to a puddle of goo and he longed to offer Nate the universe if he would just promise to never stop looking at him this way. “Baby...you've given me your hand in marriage.” He lifted Kyle's left hand to his lips and kissed his ring. “And that's more than I ever hoped to receive in this life. But if you would give me this one last thing...you would fulfill every dream I ever dreamed, every prayer I ever prayed.”
Kyle's tears weaved a course down his cheeks and he turned his face into Nate's hand, pressing his lips into his palm. “You're killing me, baby.” Kyle whispered so low only Nate could hear. The love Nate was pouring into him felt like more than he could take and he just wanted to grab hold of him and cry until he passed out in his arms.
Before he could make the move, Nate's arms were around him, hugging him, holding him so tight, so secure. He kissed Kyle's neck then whispered tightly, “Will you give me your name, baby?”
Choking on a sob, Kyle smiled and buried his face in Nate's neck. “Like I could ever deny you anything.”
“Thank you, Kyle.” The depth of sincere gratitude and love in those three words caused Kyle's arms to tighten around his husband and release another rush of tears. “I love you so much, baby.”
“I love you, too.” he trembled and kept his face pressed into Nate's neck, sobs hitching his chest. He didn't care that everyone saw him crying like a baby, he was barely aware of them. Right now, Nate was all that existed to him.
♦
When Nate took Kyle's hand and led him out on the dance floor, it seemed the hard surface dropped away beneath his feet and left him walking on air. And the love in Kyle's eyes gave him wings to continue flying.
The way that Kyle's gaze locked on Nate's face without wavering, Nate knew the guy was conscious only of him. All dressed up, eyes damp with tears and glowing with pride to be by Nate's side...it was hard to imagine this was the same wild Kyle who had made his life so crazy, yet remained his very reason for living. Who would have guessed that the cocky, smart ass boy he'd fallen head over heels for – could play the teary-eyed, just-married, in-love type?
Ah baby, you play the part so well. You have me convinced.
“What song did you chose?” Kyle asked low as Nate began to draw him into his arms. His cocky grin teased the corner of his lips. “'Cause I can't do hot and sexy in this suit.”
Nate chuckled softly. “Oh I bet you could.”
“Yeah.” Kyle smirked. “I could.” His cocky smile shifted, softened, as he began to fall into Nate's warm eyes.
Pulling him close, Nate touched his forehead to Kyle's warm brow. “I chose this song...special for you.” he murmured then kissed him softly. “You were the first person to ever stand up for me.” His throat tightened and he kissed him again. “You will always be my hero, baby.”
The music began, soft and low, as a tender male voice whispered – 'Let me be your hero' – and Nate gripped Kyle's right hand in his left and held it against his heart as the tender song flowed out and their first dance as husbands began.
'Would you dance, if I asked you to dance? Would you run, and never look back?'
Kyle trembled in Nate's arms as they swayed softly to the music.
'Would you cry, if you saw me crying? And would you save my soul tonight?'
Tears shimmered in Kyle's eyes as he held Nate's loving gaze. Nate slowly released his hand and touched his fingertips to Kyle's face, his thumb caressing his lips, as he whispered the words of the love song. “Would you tremble...if I touched your lips? Would you laugh...oh please tell me this.” His throat tightened and tears filled his eyes. “Now would you die...for the one you loved? Hold me in your arms tonight.”
A warm tear slid down Kyle's cheek as Nate wiped it away and it was replaced by another.
'Let me be your hero, baby...I can kiss away the pain.'
Nate kissed him softly and whispered with the song, “I will stand by you forever...you can take my breath away.”
Kyle's arms slid around his neck and held him tight, their brows pressed gently together, unable to look away from one another as their bodies touched and glided in perfect rhythm.
'Would you swear, that you'll always be mine? Or would you lie? Would you run and hide?'
The warmth of Kyle's body gave Nate a sense of buoyancy, as if he were floating, his feet off the floor. His lips brushed Kyle's mouth in a tender kiss. “Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind? I don't care...you're here tonight.” His kiss deepened as the song swept them up together in a rush of love and passion.
'I can be your hero, baby...I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever...you can take my breath away.'
Nate's arms tightened as Kyle's beautiful face shimmered before him, the song slipping off his lips in a passionate whisper, “Oh, I just want to hold you...I just want to hold you.” he kissed him again as tears fell lightly, softly down his cheeks. “Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind? Well, I don't care...you're here tonight.”
His cheek touched Kyle's warm, damp face and he closed his eyes, feeling the words of the song encompass his heart, impassion his soul, as he held on tight to the love of his life.
'I can be your hero, baby...I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever...you can take my breath away.'
“You can take my breath away.” His lips brushed Kyle's ear as the song softly ended with one final declaration - “I can be your hero.”
The music faded, yet their bodies still moved together, held tight, unwilling to let go. Nate trembled when Kyle's warm lips touched his neck, then his ear, and in the style of Kyle, whispered - “I have a hard on.”
Nate's arms tightened, squeezing the guy fiercely as he buried his face in Kyle's neck and burst into muffled laughter. “Me too, baby.”
♦
Kyle bypassed the seat and dropped onto his back on the spacious floor of the limo as Nate slid in across the seat and closed the door.
A low groan rolled up Kyle's throat as he shoved his fingers through his hair and chuckled, “It's a good thing you can't help but love me forever...'cause I am never doing that again.”
Nate laughed softly. “Was it that terrible?”
“Not terrible.” Kyle propped up on his elbows and gazed at Nate. “Just...extremely nerve racking.”
“What?” Nate smiled, lips twisting. “You were nervous?”
Kyle groaned and dropped back down on his back, laughing. “Fuck you.” He propped up again then grabbed Nate behind the knees. “On second thought – fuck me.” He pulled him off the seat and down on top of him, Nate straddling his waist.
Leaning over him, Nate flattened his hands on the floor on either side of Kyle's head. “No worries, babe.” he smiled. “You're stuck with me for life.”
A slow smirk twisted Kyle's lips. “Can you stick me right now?”
“Shit.” Nate laughed and sank down against him. “Mom is right – you are incorrigible.”
Kyle grabbed his ass and squeezed hard, kneading his cheeks with firm fingers. “Now is not the time to be bringing up mom.” he pulled Nate's crotch hard against his own. “Even if we are married now – she'd still slap the shit out of me if she knew even a fraction what I want to do to you right now.”
Groaning, Nate ground his crotch against Kyle. “Hmm...pray tell.”
Heat coursed through Kyle's body. Every nerve and sensory seemed heightened by the entire nerve racking day, making him ultra-aware of everything about Nate from his obvious steel hard cock straining to get at him, to the glistening droplets of sweat on his brow, the soft blond hair of his arms tickling Kyle's neck as the guy's fingers played through his hair, the scent of champagne on his breath as his lips hovered over Kyle's mouth.
“I'd rather pray show.” Kyle murmured, grinning, then pushed Nate up and urged him back onto the seat. Kyle crawled forward and knelt between his knees, rubbing his hands slowly up and down the man's firm thighs. “If we get to the airport early.” he slid his hands up Nate's legs and massaged his crotch with his thumbs, causing the man to suck in a short, sharp breath. “The driver is just gonna have to circle around a few times.” Kyle leaned in and grabbed Nate's tie with his teeth and tugged it loose. “'Cause I ain't leavin' this limo till we've fucked our brains out.”
♦
Oh shit, baby, I'm so ready.
Nate pressed back against the seat, a much more pleasurable tension gripping him now. His breath turned instantly ragged when Kyle worked his hand into his crotch, massaging him with palm and fingers. The buttons of Nate's white tux shirt snapped off between Kyle's teeth as he spit them onto the floor one at a time.
The interior of the limo was heating up fast and Nate shrugged out of his jacket, glad to be free of the confinement. He pushed his crotch into Kyle's hand, groaning deep. His head dropped back and he closed his eyes, a smile playing across his lips as he slowly ran his fingers through his own hair, a shaky breath releasing.
Kyle pulled his hand from Nate's crotch and tugged open his button-less shirt, pushing up straighter on his knees and shoving in tighter between Nate's thighs. Kyle yanked his jacket off and tossed it behind him, then jerked at his tie and ripped open his shirt, snapping off a few buttons in the process. He worked the shirt off as Nate watched, eyes heavy, breath quick, cock throbbing.
“I am so ready to fuck.” Kyle groaned and grabbed Nate's hips, jerking him forward on the seat, grinding their hard crotches, as he rubbed his hands firmly up Nate's chest and kissed him with raw passion.
A shot of sexual electricity snapped through Nate and he hooked his legs around Kyle, locking him in, pulling him tighter between his thighs. He grabbed Kyle's head and kissed him hard, urgent, then pushed him down on the floor, shoving his legs open as he thrust against him through his pants.
“Fuck!” Kyle gasped sharp, ripping out of the kiss. He practically tore Nate's shirt the rest of the way off then clawed at his ass, pulling him harder against him, arching, bucking his hips, grinding Nate's crotch in desperation. “Fuck, Nate.” he gasped again, voice shaking. “Get out those fucking pants now!”
Nate grinned, panting. “You first.” He grabbed at the front of Kyle's pants, tugging them open with urgent hands, then dug his fingers under the waistband and yanked them down off his hips and under his ass, dragging his briefs with them. Kyle helped, hurriedly kicking his legs loose as Nate pulled off his shoes. The pants were quickly discarded as Nate sat up on his knees and, in a near frenzy, got his own pants open, his burning eyes glued to Kyle's naked body, his straining erection, fiercely stiff and dripping cum juice onto his stomach as he watched Nate's hands.
“Fuck, baby.” Kyle panted hard. “Quit taking your time.” Nate wasn't taking his time as he shoved his pants down his thighs. Kyle didn't give him a chance to get them completely off before he lunged forward and dragged Nate down on top of him, throwing his legs around his waist, fingers gouging the back of his head as he pulled him into a hard kiss.
A course laugh staggered out of Nate. “At least let me get my pants off, man.”
Kyle growled and cut him off with another kiss, his toes hooking Nate's pants and shoving them down to his ankles. Knowing there was no way in hell he was getting out of Kyle's clutches – even for a moment – Nate squeezed the guy in his arms and dove into the kiss, kicking his shoes off and wriggling his feet out of the pants. As soon as he was free, he drew his knees up and lifted Kyle's ass off the floor, still bent over him and caught by Kyle's hands gripping his head, holding his face close to his.
He panted against Kyle's mouth. “Tell me you love me.” he smiled as he rubbed his throbbing cock head through the crease of Kyle's ass, nudging his tight ring.
“Fuck me already!” Kyle's short nails dug into the back of Nate's neck, his hips pushing, struggling to impale himself on Nate if the man wasn't going to do it himself.
“Do you love me?” Nate bit Kyle's lip and grinned, torturing himself as much as Kyle.
“Yes!” Kyle nearly screamed, choking on a laugh and what resembled a sob. “Fuck! Yes, I fucking love you! Shit! Nate!”
Nate grabbed his mouth and kissed him with hard passion then pushed inside him with little reservation. Kyle was a big boy – he could take it. And he did – with enthusiasm.
“Fuu-uck!” Kyle arched fiercely as his hands dropped to the limo floor, fingers clawing the carpet, as he pushed his hips up, forcing himself onto Nate, taking the man deeper inside. “Holy fuck!”
Shoving the rest of his cock into Kyle's tight heat, Nate encased the man in his arms, sucking his body up tight against his, kissing him with urgency. Kyle's thighs squeezed his waist hard as they began to all out fuck, no preliminaries.
“Fuck! Yes!” Kyle gasped into Nate's mouth, fingers gouging his shoulders as their bodies went wild.
Nate's head was spinning. All he could feel was Kyle's tight, velvet cave squeezing his hard cock, rocking against him, gliding up and down his throbbing shaft, so hot and snug, so perfectly fitting.
“Oh fuck, Kyle.” Nate panted, sweat already lacing his body and dampening his hair, their bodies growing slick, skin slipping against skin. “Shit, baby, I'm not going last long.” Nate's firm abdomen pressed and raked against Kyle's hard cock, and he could feel it pulsing, leaking. The man was so far gone, he would cum without Nate ever taking him in hand.
“Fuck! Me neither!” Kyle confirmed with a staggered grunt and groan. “Come on, Nate...fuck me hard...make me cum! I wanna cum so fucking bad!”
Without hesitation, Nate squeezed him tighter in his arms and claimed his mouth again, kissing hard, thrusting his tongue deep into Kyle's mouth, grappling with Kyle's tongue as he picked up the pace, slamming into him erratically.
A wail began to twist up Kyle's throat and he shoved them over without breaking their union, and rode Nate's cock hard and forceful.
“Fuck!” Nate grabbed his hips and hammered his cock into the guy, his ass leaving the floor on each upward thrust, body arching and contorting as his own orgasm coiled and wrapped around him, tightening his balls, then the rest of him, flexing every muscle in his body. “Fuck, Kyle!” he gasped sharp, deep, his breath sucking in and holding as their bodies connected with sharp slapping echoes. Kyle's cock smacked against his hard stomach, soaking his skin with slick cum juice, hard as steel. He was gonna blow any second, he could see it in Kyle's tight face, clenched teeth, stiff body. His fingers clawed Nate's chest and he threw back his head, releasing a strangled wail.
“Fuuuck! Nate!” Creamy hot cum burst from his cock in hard shots, tendrils hitting Nate's chest and neck, a single shot landing on his chin. His tongue snaked out and licked it as his cock exploded inside Kyle.
“God! Baby! Fuck yes! Yes!” He fucked Kyle harder, unloading the last vestiges of his love for the man.
A hard gasp escaped Kyle and he dropped with a grunt onto Nate's chest, knocking some of the wind out of him. Nate chuckled as Kyle's hot, erratic breath seared Nate's wet skin, his cheek burning against his throat.
“Feel better?” Nate's own breath puffed from his lips, uneven, static.
Kyle moaned and nuzzled his throat, and he felt his grin stretch his lips. “Much.” he chuckled low, exhausted. “Damn, I married a hot one.”
Sliding his fingers through Kyle's damp hair, Nate kissed his head. “Me too.”
A soothing silence settled through the limo interior as Nate held Kyle's fevered body against his own and listened to the limo's tires racing down the pavement, the quiet engine a relaxing sound.
Kyle lay still, his breath slowly calming. Just when Nate was sure he'd fallen asleep, he murmured, “I loved the song...the dance.” His warm lips touched the base of Nate's throat, and he added with a whisper, “Did I ruin the moment...saying what I said?”
Nate couldn't suppress the soft laugh that emerged with the recent memory. “No.” His arms wrapped tight around his husband and he kissed his hair. “You made the moment uniquely ours.”
Lifting his head, Kyle looked at him, that crazy shimmer of insecurity peeking out. “Honestly?” A sliver of doubt weighed down his voice. “You're not just...saying that?”
Nate smiled and kissed him. “Honestly, baby.” he laughed quietly and slid his thumbs across Kyle's cheeks. “It was perfect.” he kissed him again. “I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. You always make everything special in your own way. And I love that about you.” He caressed Kyle's lips with his thumb. “I love you. Everything about you.” he smiled softly. “Even all the crazy shit.” His smile stretched a little. “Especially the crazy shit.”
“That's good.” Kyle smirked and laid his head on Nate's shoulder. “'Cause I'm not sure there's anything else.”
Nate just chuckled and hugged him tighter. Baby, there's so much more than you realize.
“Where we going?” Exhaustion and fatigue softened Kyle's tone. “You never told me.”
Pressing his lips to Kyle's soft brown hair – now nearly grown back out to its original length – Nate murmured, “Back to the beginning.”
EPILOGUE
“Lost In Your Love”
(pt. 1)
♦
“T HE R E was a road? Why the hell did we walk last time?”
Nate chuckled and killed the engine then leaned back and stretched his arm across the back of the seat, playing with Kyle's hair. “It wasn't drivable last time, lazy ass.”
The feel of Nate's fingers in his hair sent tiny shock waves skittering down through Kyle's body. It seemed no matter how often Nate touched him, or even how minimal the touch, it never failed to quicken his pulse and heat up his body.
Kyle leaned forward in the cab and stared at the cabin; it had been totally renovated – even had a yard now, rather than overgrown, dead weeds and brush. Though at the moment thick frost clung to the grass blades. “We're not gonna freeze our asses off again, are we?”
“We didn't freeze our asses off before.” Nate smiled wryly.
True. In fact, it had gotten pretty damn hot inside that cabin. An ache crept through Kyle's heart at the memory though. There had been too much pain and hopelessness woven through that night. He flinched when Nate's hand flattened on the back of his neck, his fingers squeezing with affection.
“Don't look like that, Kyle.” Nate murmured.
Glancing at him, Kyle asked quietly, “Like what?” Nate just stared at him, and Kyle looked away. “Why didn't I just tell you the truth?” he whispered tightly. “You were my best friend...all my life you had my back.”
Nate's fingers gently caressed the side of his neck, then he drew Kyle against him. “You told me why...in your letter.” He kissed Kyle's temple then around to his lips. “You knew what it would do to me.”
“But I hurt you anyway.” he whispered. “Maybe worse than if I'd just been straight with you.”
Smiling, Nate kissed him again. “But you're not straight.”
“Shut up.” Kyle laughed softly. “You know what I mean.” He pulled back and sat up straighter. Warmth and love resonated from Nate's eyes.
“Yeah, baby, I do.” He touched Kyle's face. “But it's over. We made it through. Just barely, but we did make it.” Leaning over, he kissed Kyle's mouth with emphasis. “Now how about we just enjoy the rest of our lives?”
The man always knew how to make him feel better. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Good.” Nate grinned and shoved open his door. “Now come check out your wedding present.”
They left the truck and approached the cabin. Nate grabbed his hand and squeezed it firmly. “So what do you think?”
“When the hell did you have time to do this?” Kyle murmured. “And without me knowing?”
Nate chuckled. “Well, you know that job I was on when I had to stay up here for about a week?”
“Yeah.” Kyle groaned. “I about lost my mind not having you there.”
Sliding his arm around Kyle's shoulder, he kissed the side of his head. “Well...this was the job.”
Kyle looked at him. “You did all this in a week?”
“Well.” Nate shrugged. “Not by myself. I mean, I started out on my own, but when my crew caught wind of what I was doing – and why I was doing it – they pitched in. It was their wedding gift to me.” He kissed Kyle's hair. “And to you.”
Emotion squeezed Kyle's throat – Nate really did all this for him? A sinking feeling weighed in his gut. “I didn't...get you anything.” His eyes burned in the cold, late February air.
Nate tipped his head back and laughed, then dragged him into his arms and squeezed him tight, kissing his neck hard. “You didn't get me anything?” he whispered in his ear. “Baby, you came back from the fucking dead for me.” He rubbed his lips up over the curve of his jaw and further, kissing his temple then his brow, before pressing his forehead to Kyle's. “You were every dream I ever dreamed, Kyle. And now you've come true. How the hell can you say you didn't get me anything?” He kissed him deeply then whispered against his lips. “You gave me everything...when you loved me...when you married me...when you gave me your name.”
Groaning, Kyle hugged him tight and shoved his face against his neck. “I hate you.”
Nate chuckled. “Why is that?”
“'Cause you always make me cry like a fucking baby.” he choked quietly.
His arms squeezing, Nate replied, “Well...you're my baby.” He grinned and nuzzled his ear. “And I happen to think it's kind of sexy when you cry.”
“Shut up.” Kyle choked on a hoarse laugh and pulled back, wiping his eyes. “It just makes you feel like the man of the relationship.”
“Oh fuck.” Nate busted up and grabbed him again and kissed him. “You say the wildest things, babe.”
♦
Nate opened the door and held it for Kyle. The man stood for a moment at the threshold, his lips twisting in that sexy smirk that drove Nate crazy. “So.” Kyle cocked an eyebrow. “Who carries who over the threshold?”
“Well,” Nate smiled wryly. “Since you're not strong enough to pick me up, I guess...” He threw his arms around Kyle's waist, lifted him off his feet and swept him through the doorway, dropping his feet back to the floor inside the cabin. He kissed him. “There.”
Kyle shook his head, laughing low. “I could so pick your ass up.”
“Well sure, my ass.” Nate mused, stepped inside and closed the door. He winked. “But I would lift that for you myself.”
“Prove it.”
“Oh I will.” Nate promised. “Here in a few. Just hold your balls.”
“Thought that was your job.” Kyle smirked. “As my husband, of course.”
Chuckling, shaking his head, Nate walked to the fireplace, squatted down and began making a fire. He glanced down at the hearth. Where it all went to hell the moment the ring hit the bricks. His eyes shifted to his left hand where the wedding band hugged his finger – the same ring he had thought signaled the end of everything...had in reality embodied his dream. A soft smile curved his lips.
“What're you smiling about?” Kyle sat down on the end of the hearth and leaned back against the rock wall of the fireplace.
“Can't a guy just smile to be smiling?”
Kyle shrugged and grinned, then looked around the cabin. “At least it doesn't smell like something died in here this time.” he mused. “And I see you traded in the hard bunks for a big ole bed.” He nodded slowly. “Nice...can't wait to break it in.” He stood up and went over to the bed. Nate heard the mattress creak slightly as Kyle sat down, then bounced a little. “Nice and springy. We might gain air on this thing.”
“Shit.” Nate laughed and continued working on the fire. In truth, he couldn't wait to break the thing in either. His and Kyle's little wild ride to the airport, and even last night at his house – was all starting to wear off. He needed another fix soon. Kyle had still been worked up when they'd arrived at the house. The fact that he survived all of yesterday from the wedding to the hot sex gave testament to the durability of his new heart. Nate had been holding back, not allowing them to go all out until he knew for sure Kyle was fully healed. Had it not been for that, they would have surely gotten married even sooner. But he wasn't about to spend their wedding night together until he felt comfortable cutting loose. And last night had been insane. A time or two he had wondered if his heart could hold out. The guy gave a whole new meaning to Wild Kyle.
After the fire was lit, he stood and turned around. Kyle lay sideways across the bed, staring at the ceiling, his hands resting lightly on his stomach. Nate's gaze lingered on the small patch of visible skin where the hem of Kyle's shirt had pulled up a bit. The memory of Kyle laying on his bunk that first night, teasing him with his sexy smirky smiles, eyes heavy with want, displaying his hard stomach to Nate, proving he wasn't scrawny...it stabbed hot spears into Nate's groin.
He walked over to the bed, shook off his jacket, then laid down on his back next to Kyle. “What're you looking at?” Nate smiled.
“The ceiling.”
“Ah...fascinating.”
Kyle's lips twitched. “Just making sure there's no spiders ready to drop down.”
God, baby, I love your silly ass. Nate chuckled softly. “Find any?”
“Not yet.” He turned his head and looked at Nate, then lifted his hand and brushed the back of his fingers down Nate's cheek. “You make me...crazy happy...you know that?”
Nate's hand came up and slid into Kyle's, slowly intertwining their fingers. “You make me crazy happy, too, baby.” he whispered.
The guy just gazed at him, eyes slightly glossed, squeezing his hand with an almost desperate pressure. “You know how they say that...being in a coma is just like going to sleep?”
Nate dragged his hand to his lips and kissed it softly, and nodded.
“That isn't true.” His voice thickened. “Not for me, anyway.” He shifted his eyes back to the ceiling but didn't release Nate's hand. “I thought I was dead, Nate. I thought...it was true that God hated fags...and I was in hell.” he looked at Nate again, tears thick in his eyes. “I was so scared. I thought it was over...that I would never see you again, or my mom. I thought I would be lost in that cold darkness for the rest of eternity.”
Kyle's face swam as Nate's vision blurred.
“But then...you were there.” Kyle whispered, tears wetting his voice. “I couldn't see you, but I could...hear you. Even feel you at times, as if you were standing right there beside me. And you kept telling me to hold on, keep fighting, that...that you would never let me go.”
Nate turned on his side and pulled Kyle into his arms as the man hugged him tight, fiercely, his face buried in his throat, body trembling. He slid his fingers through Kyle's hair, his thumb rubbing over the scar that ran up his skull just behind his ear. He kissed his head softly.
“That's when I knew...I wasn't dead.” Kyle choked, huddling close to Nate's body like a child seeking comfort after waking from a horrifying nightmare. “And somehow I knew...I would be okay. Because you kept telling me I would be and...you've never lied to me.”
Tears dripped off Nate's face and seeped into Kyle's hair. “Why didn't you ever tell me this?”
“I don't know.” Kyle sniffed. His wet eyelashes brushed against the tender skin of Nate's throat.
“How about...” Nate murmured, tucking a fingertip under Kyle's chin and lifting his face. “We unpack the truck later?” He kissed him with warm passion. “Because right now...” He slowly peeled off Kyle's jacket then slid his hand under his shirt and gently caressed his stomach, then around to rub his back as he pulled him close again. “Right now I just want to make love to my new husband.”
♦
Nate's lips followed the hem of Kyle's shirt as he slowly shoved it up over his stomach then chest. Kyle pulled it off the rest of the way over his head then slid his fingers through Nate's hair as the man's warm mouth explored his throat then descended back down his chest and stomach, dropping light kisses all across his skin – each and every one like a whispered I Love You.
His eyes partially closed, Kyle's breath slid up a notch when Nate's lips touched the button of his jeans and he rubbed his hands down his legs then slowly up again. The button popped loose beneath his fingertips, the dull echo of the zipper sliding down, the front of his jeans peeling back, Nate's fingertips tugging down the band of his briefs then his lips dropping more kisses on bare skin.
“God...Nate...” Kyle's breath skipped and stalled as the man's tongue snaked out and the tip twirled through the dark, course pubic strands reaching up from the base of his cock – now hard as stone. Pressing his face in closer, Nate sucked on the hair, tugging the front of his briefs and jeans down a little more as his lips grabbed at the thick, hard base of his throbbing member and suctioning to it as well. “Fuck...baby...”
A low – Mmmm – drifted up Nate's throat and he rubbed his hands up, gripped the waistband of the jeans at Kyle's hips and dragged them down to his thighs, releasing his powerful erection. Nate latched onto the underside of the base and began sucking up and down the bottomside of the entire shaft.
“Fuck!” Kyle's hips bucked a little on reflex, his cock jumping against Nate's lips. He whimpered when he felt the guy's velvet tongue bumping over the ridge of muscle, then tickling and teasing his hard flesh with just the tip before slithering around the circumference of his cock muscle. “Oh fuck, Nate!” Kyle panted. “Suck me, baby! Please!”
Nate's lips stretched into a smile against Kyle's hardness then warm, wet heat suddenly encased his cock. Sharp breath sucked down Kyle's throat and he cried out, clutching Nate's head. The tightness and silkiness of the guy's mouth was too much, he couldn't resist the need to fuck it. Fingers wound through Nate's hair and gripped as his hips thrust, pushing his cock into his husband's throat again and again.
“Oh fuck, Nate!” he shuddered hard, his hands shaking as he held onto the man. “Oh god, baby...yes...yes...Uuhh!”
Soft moans rolled up Nate's throat as his wet mouth moved up and down Kyle's thick shaft, slicking his hard flesh. His strong hands gripped and pushed against Kyle's thighs, gaining leverage to stroke him faster, more urgently.
“Fuck!” Kyle choked on a scream. His jaw clenched, breath staggered in his throat. “Fuck, Nate, I'm gonna cum if you keep that up...”
Nate's mouth squeezed around his member and pulled, sucking slowly up to the tip. A forceful shudder swept through Kyle's tense body. Then Nate was backing away, stepping off the bed. He tugged Kyle's jeans down his legs and off, his eyes crawling all over his naked flesh. “God, baby, you're beautiful.” he murmured. His hands moved quick and efficiently, discarding his own clothes. When he came to Kyle, his eyes were burning with love and desire, his cock hard as steel.
Straddling Kyle on hands and knees, Nate dropped soft kisses on his lips, his throat, then down the center of his chest, kissing the pinkish scar. Every time Nate touched or kissed the scar, Kyle felt him tremble – as if he were recalling just how close he came to losing everything.
Eyes stinging, Kyle stroked his fingers through Nate's hair as the man continued to lay kisses on his chest and throat. “I love you, Nate.” He found Nate's mouth and kissed him, pulling him deeper into it. His hands caressed down Nate's body then gripped his hips firmly and directed him down on his cock. Nate swore softly as Kyle entered him, pushing in deeper and deeper.
“Fuck, baby.” Nate gasped sharp and leaned forward, his fingers gouging into Kyle's lean chest. “Mm! I love how you feel inside me.” His hips began to move in a slow, smooth circular motion until Kyle wanted to scream. Nate smiled when Kyle's face tightened with sexual pleasure. “Like that, baby?”
“Oh fuuuck...” Kyle shoved his head back into the pillow, a staggered laugh sticking in his throat as he raked his fingers through his hair and lifted his hips, falling into the rhythm with Nate, rotating his cock inside the man.
“Shit.” Nate's breath caught and he bit his lip hard – and something about that drove Kyle insane. He pushed up on one arm and wrapped the other around Nate's neck, dragging the man into a hard, passionate kiss as he shoved his cock into him harder, deeper, faster. Nate groaned down his throat and rode him with more urgency.
“Uh!” Kyle gasped sharp through their kiss, then ground tightly, “Yes! Fuck me, Nate! Ride me hard, baby!”
Shoving him down on his back, Nate pinned his arms above his head and fucked him without mercy, jaw clenched, eyes burning with both love and lust.
“Fuck yes!” Kyle choked and thrust his hips, meeting him half way, their bodies connecting harder, with more urgency. He strained against Nate's strong hands but couldn't get free. “Nate...” he groaned loud, panting. “Let me have one hand...I wanna jerk you off.” he whimpered when Nate smiled darkly and shook his head. “Come on! Why?”
Nate leaned down, never breaking rhythm, his teeth grabbed at Kyle's lower lip. “Because,” he grunted, panting, breath puffing erratically, “after I make you come...I'm gonna take my turn and tap that sweet ass of yours until you're screaming my name.” He kissed him, thrusting his tongue into his mouth as he fucked him harder.
♦
Oh god, Kyle, hurry up! I need inside you!
Nate rolled his hips smoothly as he lifted and dropped on Kyle's hard cock. The guy's arms strained more forcefully against Nate's grip on his wrists, but he refused to release him. Kyle was desperate to jerk him off and, as Nate had told him – he wanted to be inside that beautiful ass when he came.
“Come on, baby.” Nate panted, dropping down to kiss him again and suck his tongue, stroking the velvet caverns of his ass on Kyle's rigid member. “Give it up.”
“Fuck!” Kyle broke away from the kiss, face tight, jaw clenching as a growl rolled up his throat, pushing out through his clamped teeth. His hips thrust up with added force, pounding Nate as his body arched and he writhed against the blankets. “Fuck! Nate! I'm gonna cum! Fuuuck!!”
Nate bounced on him harder, squeezing his wrists, his own face twisted in sweet sexual anguish as Kyle's cock head assaulted his sweet spot, causing his own cock to thicken and lengthen and turn to granite, dripping clear cum juice on Kyle’s stomach.
A scream bursting out, Kyle bucked up hard, burying his shaft balls deep into Nate and unloaded. “Fuck!” He choked, body twisting and tightening as he continued to push himself into his husband with short, jerky thrusts, jaw clenching, popping the cords in his neck as his body forced out his love for the man. A sudden, hard gasp exploded from his throat and he sagged against the bed, panting, sweat slicking his body and face, a satisfied grin on his lips. “Holy fuck, man.” he gasped, breath ragged and staggered. “You are one hot fuck.”
Chuckling low, Nate kissed him, chest heaving with his own need for release. His hands loosened from Kyle's wrists. “Turn over, baby.” he groaned tightly, “I've got something for you too.”
Kyle's lower lip sucked between his teeth and his eyebrows rose, a smirk dragging at the corners of his mouth. “Something good, I hope.”
“Good,” Nate kissed that sexy mouth then sucked his lower lip, “is an understatement.” he lifted off Kyle as the guy twisted onto his stomach. Nate grabbed a thick pillow and stuffed it under Kyle's hips, elevating his perfectly rounded ass. “Fuck, baby...there's just something about this view that makes me want to sink my teeth into that flawless rump.”
Lifting his rear a bit, Kyle wondered, “What's stopping you?”
Nate sighed and rubbed his hands over Kyle's firm cheeks, his skin damp and heated from their recent session. “Just taking in the view.” Sweat slicked between Kyle's cheeks as Nate's thumbs slipped through the crease then his palms flattened and opened the man up. “Fuck.” Nate moaned and dropped down, dragging his tongue through the slick ravine of his ass. Kyle flinched then lifted up to him. Squeezing his cheeks hard, Nate began to rim his tight ring.
“Uuh! Shit!” Kyle grabbed a pillow, pulled it under his head and buried his face in its softness, muffling his groans.
There was nothing sweeter than the sound of Kyle's moans when he was being turned on. Nate sucked one finger, slicking it up, then worked it inside the man. Another sharp gasp burst into the pillow and Kyle's back bowed a little as Nate delved in deeper.
“Fuck!” Kyle's head snapped up and his body jerked as Nate's finger grazed over his magic button. He panted then dropped his face into the pillow again, whimpering, pushing back against Nate's finger, stroking on it. “Oh god...”
Nate smiled and massaged him, dipping down to gently bite his ass cheeks, the muscles firm sponginess beneath his teeth turning him on like mad. He stroked Kyle more urgently as the guy squirmed and moaned and whimpered, thrusting on Nate's finger.
“Fuck, Nate...” Kyle choked on a desperate plea, “Please fuck me...now...please...fuck, I need your cock inside me.”
“Anything for my new husband.” Nate smiled and bit his ass again, a tad harder. Kyle jerked and whimpered. Scooting up on his knees, Nate coated his cock with saliva then fed it into Kyle's beautiful tight ass. He gripped his hard shaft at the base and pushed in deeper and deeper. “Fuck, baby...” his teeth clenched, breath laboring as Kyle's hot, soft inner muscles expanded slowly around his cock.
Kyle clutched the pillow and bit it, a strangled cry squeezing up his throat.
Panting, Nate's face tightened as he released his dick and grabbed Kyle's hips, shoving himself further in. “Oh fuck, baby...almost there...just a little more...” A loud grunt erupted out when he sank in, his pelvis pressing against Kyle's soft ass cheeks. “Oh my god, Kyle...” His eyes stung as they seemed to so often when he entered Kyle's body, as if they were truly becoming one flesh. “Oh god, I love you, baby.”
He laid down against Kyle's back and slipped his arms under the guy's fevered, damp body and flattened his hands on his chest, fingers gripping. He kissed Kyle's shoulder, breath uneven as he worked his hips, rocking against the man's ass slowly, circling his cock inside him, loosening him up.
“Fuck, man...” Kyle whimpered again, choking on a quiet cry. “You feel so fucking good, Nate.”
Nate touched his lips to the back of Kyle's neck, nuzzling the tips of his dampened hair. His palms pressed against his chest, absorbing the strong, steady beat of his lover's heart. Fingertips glided down the surgical scar and he pushed his brow to the back of Kyle's head and closed his eyes as his love and need for this one man surged through him. Tears formed and he kissed his hair, his body moving against Kyle more urgently, sliding in and out of his tight heat, using long strokes, letting the man feel every inch of his desire for him.
“Nate...” Kyle choked on a sudden sob as he seemed to sense the emotion in Nate as the man made love to him.
“I love you.” Nate trembled and whispered, arms tightened, squeezing Kyle's body in his embrace. “I love you, Kyle.” his hot breath puffed against Kyle's neck, his shoulders. Nate squeezed his eyes shut as his muscles strained and flexed with each thrust of his hips that carried him to heaven. His rhythm and pace quickened as Kyle moved with him, soft ass rotating, rolling, working in perfect sync with Nate's thrusts.
“I love you too, baby.” Kyle whimpered, panting, his heart beating harder but staying steady. Nate's fingers tightened against the guy's chest, gripping more firmly, as his body raked smoothly, wetly up and down Kyle's back.
Kyle shoved his elbows into the mattress and used the leverage to fuck Nate back with equal intensity, his head pulling up out of the pillow and tilting back, eyes closed, breath exhaling in hard, short gasps. Nate kissed his neck, his ear, the corner of his jaw, then withdrew one hand and cupped Kyle's face, turning his head and grabbing his mouth. Their mutual groans of pleasure heightened their passion even more and they fucked harder.
Releasing Kyle's face, Nate's fingers snaked into the man's hair and gripped a fistful, pulling him into a forceful kiss as his hunger for his lover surged hotter and he fucked him with reckless abandon.
“Fuck!” Kyle yelled, tearing out of the kiss, face tight, twisting with sweet sexual agony. “Oh fuck, Nate! Fuck me, baby! Fuck me harder! Uuuhh!!”
Nate's pelvis slapped loud against Kyle's ass as he fucked him without reservation or mercy. “Fuuuck!” Nate choked on a strangled wail forcing up his throat as his balls burned with the need to unload. “Oh Fuck! Kyle! Fuck-Fuck-Fuck!! I'm gonna cum! Now! Shiiitt!”
His cock slammed in and filled Kyle with hot creamy juice, then fucked him erratically, pumping himself out. Kyle shoved one hand underneath himself and grabbed his cock, beating off as Nate continued to thrust at him.
“Yes, baby...” Nate panted, shaking, breath broken. “Do it, baby...cum for me again...come on...yes...yes...” He was empty but still his cock remained heavy enough to stroke Kyle, urging him to give it up.
“Oh fuck!” Kyle cried, and Nate yanked the pillow from under him, reached below and grabbing his cock with him, stroking faster, harder. Kyle fucked both their fists as Nate continued to fuck his ass. “Oh my god! Fuuuck!!” Kyle burst, hot cum squirting across the blankets beneath him as they both jerked him off until he was spent.
Nate collapsed against his back, kissing and licking his hot, sweaty skin.
Hard pants puffed from Kyle's parted lips that twisted into his trademark smirk. “Fuck, baby...” he groaned, barely able to catch a breath. “It's a blast being a fag.”
Nate's forehead dropped against Kyle's shoulder as he burst with laughter. “I tried to tell you.”
EPILOGUE
“Lost In Your Love”
(pt. 2)
♦
K Y L E wasn’t aware of just when he dropped off, but when he awoke, it was dark outside and the only light were the flickering shadows of the fire. His eyes weighed heavily and he was about to allow sleep to reclaim him when he reached over for Nate and found only empty bed. He rubbed his hand over the bare sheet and up across the pillow. Pushing up on one elbow, he searched the cabin. The fire burned bright, illuminating most of the room, but Nate wasn’t there.
A frown stole across his brow, a quill of anxiety piercing his heart and not really sure why. “Nate?” He sat forward, swallowing tightly. He’d never admitted it aloud to Nate or anyone, not even himself really, but since awaking from the coma…he was scared of the dark. Or rather – being alone in the dark. And though the firelight dispelled most of the shadows in the cabin, the twinge of panic still pinched his gut and quickened his breath. “Nate?” he called a little louder, and was two seconds from leaving the bed when the front door opened and Nate stepped in, packing an armload of wood. His pulse instantly calmed from any form of panic, but quickened again with other emotions.
Nate dumped the wood in the wood box next to the fireplace then brushed off the sleeves of his thick denim jacket. He grinned at Kyle, “Hey, sexy. I didn’t expect you to be conscious again until morning.” He unbuttoned his jacket and peeled it off, revealing a shirtless torso. His jeans hung low on his hips with no trace of the elastic band of his briefs, informing Kyle he wasn’t wearing any. Nate grabbed a couple pieces of wood and tossed them on the fire, squatting before the fireplace.
Sitting forward a little more, Kyle’s gaze caressed his back, eyes lingering on the waist of his jeans where they rippled and pulled away from his lower back, affording the tiniest glimpse of his lovely crease.
“What’re you looking at?” Nate murmured without turning, a smile in his voice.
“Just enjoying the view of my recent purchase.”
“Purchase?” Nate twisted his head half way around. “I don’t recall getting paid.”
Kyle chuckled and shoved back the blankets. The interior of the cabin was comfortably warm, even bordering on toasty. He left the bed and walked over to Nate, who glanced up at him, his gaze not really making it past Kyle’s heavy member.
“Better be careful standing so close to the fire.” He smiled wryly then leaned over and kissed Kyle’s stomach just above the base of his cock. “Don’t want any roasted weenies.” His lips brushed over Kyle’s quickly hardening flesh, then stood up slowly, resting his hands on Kyle’s hips.
Grinning, Kyle moved closer and cupped Nate’s ass, squeezing, pushing his chest and crotch against the man. “Oh I don’t know, might go well with your…toasted buns.” With that, he gave Nate’s ass another squeeze.
“You’re insane.” Nate chuckled and kissed him, slipping his arms on around his waist, rubbing down over his firm but soft bare cheeks. His fingers worked the warm flesh and he groaned. “God, baby, I love your ass.” He kissed his neck and grinned. “Have I told you that?”
“Nope.” Kyle smirked. “This is the first.”
Nate laughed low and kissed his neck again, taking his time, sucking sensually on his warm skin as his hands slowly rubbed up his back, fingertips pressing firmly into his lean muscles. “Oh god, Kyle…I can’t get enough of you.”
“That better not ever change.” He moaned, working his fingers down inside the back of Nate’s jeans and kissing his shoulder. He closed his eyes as Nate caressed up and down his back, over his ass, getting him so hot he was sure he might melt in the man’s hands. His cock hardened to granite and pushed against the crotch of Nate’s jeans as he rocked his hips a little. As good as it had felt to make love to Nate for the first time in this cabin…that night couldn’t begin to compare to this one. It had hurt so much keeping that secret from the man, knowing how much more it would hurt to tell him. And so terrified of the reality that he would be separated from Nate for all eternity.
Just please hold me forever, baby. Kyle slid his hands up and hugged Nate extra tight, his face pressed hard against his neck. For so many years he’d been afraid to reveal himself to Nate, and the world. And now…there was a strange freedom in standing here naked in the arms of his husband. What had he been so scared of? Hadn’t he known that with Nate he would always be safe, and loved?
“You okay?” Nate murmured. When he started to draw back, Kyle hugged him tighter, not answering. “Kyle?”
“I love you.” Kyle whispered, his throat wanting to close.
Nate squeezed him in his arms and kissed his shoulder. “I love you too, baby.”
♦
The guys heated, extremely aroused body was playing havoc with Nate’s mind and nether regions. But Kyle’s cocky playfulness had shifted suddenly and now he was clinging to him in mild desperation. “Kyle.” He said softly, quietly against his ear. “Babe, is something wrong?”
“No.” Kyle shook his head and breathed deep. “Everything is right.” His arms loosened a little and he lifted his head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Nate rubbed his back, his skin warming to the heat of the fire.
Kyle smiled uncertainly and pushed his forehead against Nate’s brow. “We were about to get all hot and heavy…and I ruined it.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.” Nate assured. “We can get hot and heavy later. We got all the time in the world now.”
Kyle swallowed thickly then cleared his throat, shaking his head slowly. “But I don’t want to wait till later.” He whispered, then met Nate’s eyes, the corner of his mouth tugging upward. “I want it now.”
“You’re sure?”
Kyle pushed his hard cock against Nate’s crotch. “Does that feel like a man who isn’t sure?”
Dropping his hand, Nate gripped him, stroking. “Feels pretty damn sure to me.” A rasp grated his voice, thickening his throat. Fuck, the guy felt good in his hand. Nate was now convinced Kyle was specially made just for him – in every aspect. Just the right length and thickness, with just enough curve to his cock to make it feel so damn good no matter what angle the guy was doing him from.
Kyle had a hold of the snap of Nate’s jeans, urgently tugging them open. He kissed Nate with heated passion as he shoved his jeans off his hips and slid his hands over his ass. Kyle groaned and twirled his tongue around Nate’s, drawing it into his mouth, sucking firmly. Nate dug his fingers into Kyle’s ass and groaned hard, guttural, as Kyle worked his jeans further down, freeing his cock, pushing the pants down his thighs.
“Kyle.” Nate growled and squeezed him in his arms, fingers raking all over his body. He sucked his neck and along his shoulder. “God, baby, I wanna fuck you so bad right now.”
His breath quick and ragged, Kyle dropped to his knees and yanked Nate’s jeans down to his ankles. Nate kicked them loose of his feet, heart racing as Kyle’s hot mouth roamed up his thighs, kissing firmly, licking, sucking. The first time Kyle had knelt before him – in this same exact spot almost – and sucked him so good, Nate had nearly lost his mind. Even now, he recalled how Kyle had pleaded with him to let him do it, tears filming his eyes. All the little things that had made no sense that night, were now clarified. Kyle had been convinced that it would be their last time together – that he wouldn’t survive the operation.
An ache veined through Nate’s heart and he slipped his fingers into Kyle’s hair and moaned as the guy wrapped a warm hand around his cock and stroked slowly as he laid soft kisses around the base of his shaft and lower. God, baby, I love you so much. He hadn’t realized how hard it would be on his emotions being back here with Kyle, remembering every word, every action, and now understanding what it had all meant. The guy had been in torment, trying to play it off as something less, struggling to just be ‘Kyle’ and not let on to the fear and hurt he was suffering through.
Nate blinked against the tears trying to rise up. It’s okay now. Kyle is okay. That’s all in the past. He closed his eyes and combed his fingers through Kyle’s soft hair, allowing himself to let go of what was before and hold onto the here and now.
When Kyle took him in his mouth, Nate suck in a sharp breath and groaned tight. “Fuck, baby.” He slowly stroked his hard cock in and out of Kyle’s warm, wet mouth, his cock head bumping against the back of his throat. “Oh my god…” Nate’s hips jerked with a spasm when the guy’s tongue worked against the sensitive groove on the underside of the head.
“Mmmm…” Kyle moaned and slowly sucked up the length of his shaft then flicked his tongue across the tip of his cock, inciting another spasm that caused Nate’s cock to jump. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner that cock tasted this good?” Kyle murmured, dragging his tongue around the crown, as if he were licking on an ice cream cone.
“I tried.” Nate shuddered and opened his eyes, watching Kyle take such pleasure in tasting him. “But you insisted that was too much of an overshare.”
Kyle chuckled softly and slid his mouth over Nate’s cock once more, bobbing up and down on him more quickly. Nate’s jaw clenched and he gripped the man’s scalp, squeezing hair through his fingers. A hard breath burst from him and he fucked Kyle’s mouth with more urgency.
“Oh god, Kyle!” He gasped thickly. “Fuck…baby…” Nate squeezed his eyes shut again, panting, puffing, beads of sweat forming all over his body with the aid of the fire, and trickling down his hot skin. “Oh fuck, Kyle…uuhh!”
Kyle moaned deep then pulled off him, standing to his feet. He grabbed Nate’s mouth in a hard, hungry kiss as his hands gripped his hips and pulled him against him. He ground his cock against Nate’s throbbing erection then reached down and wrapped his hand around both their cocks, pressing them tightly together.
“Fuck…” Nate gasped again as he and Kyle thrust against each other through Kyle’s fist, cocks rubbing and raking together. His head dropped back, a hard groan exhaling loud as his hips moved back and forth and Kyle’s cock massaged Nate’s own, sweat and cum juice slicking their hardened flesh. He grabbed Kyle’s hand with both of his, holding them together more firmly and stroked harder.
“Oh shit.” Kyle panted. Sweat glistened his face and body. His free hand came up and grabbed the back of Nate’s head, dragging him into another urgent kiss. “Fuck me, Nate.” He trembled into his mouth. “Please…now…”
No verbal response was necessary. Nate spun him around and Kyle grabbed the edge of the mantle, hips arched back to Nate. Adding spit to his already glistening cock, Nate massaged Kyle’s tight entrance with his fingertips, working his digits inside, loosening him up a bit.
“Ahh! Fuck!” Kyle gasped tightly, jaw clenching as Nate sought out his magic button and massaged it firmly. “Fuck, Nate!”
Nate dropped to one knee and spit on his hole, working it in with his fingers and tongue.
“God!” Kyle’s head dropped back hard, his ass pushing against Nate’s fingers.
“Your ass is so fucking beautiful.” Nate groaned then stood again and gripped his cock, guiding it to his husband’s rear door. Kyle tensed and sucked in a sharp breath as Nate pushed his cock head through the tight ring. Nate’s chest hitched, breath breaking. “Fuuuck!”
“Oh my god, Nate.” Kyle whimpered, working his ass onto Nate’s dick as Nate shoved in deeper. “Fuck me, baby…give it to me…every beautiful inch.”
The guy’s fingers clutched the mantle, firelight glinting off his gold wedding band, pulling Nate’s eyes to the symbolic ring that wrapped around his world and held it together. The full, overwhelming reality that he was married to the boy of his dreams, finally after all these years, exploded through his heart. The tears welled up and he wrapped his arms around Kyle’s chest, shoving his face into his hair, hugging him fiercely as the tears broke and their bodies began to move together. His fingertips played tenderly along the scar on Kyle’s chest, his lips touching the one on the side of his head.
They were together. They were safe. They had looked death in the face – and beat him at his own game.
♦
“Can I tell you something?” the blankets were thrown back and Kyle and Nate laid naked on the sheets, bodies soaked with sweat, hearts still pounding and racing. Kyle slid his hands down Nate’s forearms as the man held him secure, his chest snug against Kyle’s back.
“You can tell me anything.” Nate murmured. Exhaustion thickened his voice, but he was still wide awake.
Kyle hesitated and laid his head back against his husband’s shoulder. “On that rafting trip,” he whispered. “I had…been planning to tell you everything.” Nate’s arms tightened around him. “I was so in love with you…and I wanted to tell you, so bad.”
Nate was silent a moment. He had never told the man any of this. “Why didn’t you?” Nate asked quietly, emotion straining his words.
Shrugging softly, Kyle traced his fingertips over the back of Nate’s hands. “I don’t know. I…chickened out when…the others showed up.” He licked his lips, eyes stinging some. “I was still…scared for people to know. And then when that guy…” His chin trembled, remembering how his response to a stupid snide remark had hurt Nate. “I hated myself for what I said…for hurting you.”
“Hey.” Nate kissed his hair. “It’s over,” he kissed his shoulder, “Done with,” then kissed his ear, “Gone.” He squeezed Kyle until he grunted, then murmured, “I was never really angry at you.”
“I know.” Kyle said quietly. “But I would’ve rather had you pissed at me…than hurt.”
Nate turned him over and kissed his lips. “It only hurt because I loved you so much. If I hadn’t…I wouldn’t have cared what you said.” He rubbed the back of his fingers down Kyle’s cheek. “But I knew you didn’t really mean it, baby. I might have reacted badly at first, but I never doubted where I stood with you. You were my best friend, right from the start.” He kissed his brow softly. “I knew that would never change.”
Tears pooled in Kyle’s eyes. “When we came up here the first time, and then…” his throat worked, tightening, closing. “And then you told me to get out of your life…” Pain darkened Nate’s eyes. “I wanted to die for real. That’s why I left the note…I couldn’t take the thought of you hating me…or thinking I had deliberately hurt you. I didn’t…” He wrapped his arms around Nate and choked on a sob. “I didn’t want to die…without you knowing how much I loved you.”
Nate held him tight. “Well that’s all mute now, baby.” He choked. “We kicked death’s ass and everything is good.” He kissed his hair, hugging him harder. “And that’s the way it’s gonna stay.”
Clearing his throat, Kyle drew back and kissed Nate’s lips. “You were always my dream, Nate. Even if I kept it to myself.” Kyle whispered. “And now you’ve come true.”
Nate smiled and rubbed his lips over Kyle’s mouth softly. “Well,” he murmured, smiling, “I don’t know if I was always your dream.” He kissed him tenderly, “I doubt you were having fluffy bunny dreams about me the day you socked me for kissing you.” He chuckled low and kissed him with more firmness. “Bet you didn’t have a clue we would end up as husbands one day.”
Shrugging, Kyle laid his head on Nate’s chest, listened to the beat of his heart. “True…not a clue in the world.” He whispered. “Never even crossed my mind.” He cuddled closer to Nate’s warm body and closed his eyes – a slow smirk twisting his lips.
♦
“What the fuck, man?!” Kyle squeezed his fist then shook it out, knuckles scraped bloody where they had connected with Nate’s sunglasses. The guy was on the ground, hand covering his eye.
“It was just a kiss.” Nate muttered and crawled to his feet. His hand dropped, revealing the bruise already beginning to discolor the skin around his eye, the swelling soon to follow. He reached down and snatched up his broken sunglasses. “Thanks a lot. These were my only pair.”
Kyle stared at him, heart pounding. “Well you shouldn’t of tried to fucking kiss me.” Kyle was shaking as his hand rubbed over his mouth, knuckles stinging and throbbing. “What the fuck was that about?”
Shrugging, Nate looked sour, almost hurt. “It was just a stupid game.” He turned his back to Kyle, gave a discreet swipe across his face, and then walked away across the school yard.
Kyle couldn’t catch his breath, his eyes glued to Nate’s back. He licked his lips slowly, the thump of his heart growing louder, harder. He jumped off the table where he was sitting and sprinted after his friend. “Nate!” he called. “Wait up.”
“What?” Nate grumbled stiffly when Kyle caught up to him, avoiding looking at him. But the sheen in his eyes was unmistakable.
“So you wanna come over to my house after school?” he asked casually as if he hadn’t just punch the guy in the face. “Mom’s making her famous spaghetti and meatballs.”
Nate remained silent a moment, then shrugged, “Yeah. Sure.” And the tension broke, dissipating in the warm afternoon air as if it had never been there. Kyle cast him a sideways glance, gaze lingering not on the bruised flesh of Nate’s face, but the light gloss of tears beginning to recede. His heart did a cartwheel in his chest and he looked down, stuffing his hands in his pockets, a smile playing at the edges of his lips.
I’m gonna marry that boy someday.
♦
T H E R E remained a residue of fear in the guy, and Kyle was fully aware of its roots. As far as Kyle was concerned, it was an unnecessary fear. But Nate could be irrational and worrisome at times – who knew?
“You don't seem like you really want to go out.”
Nate sat on the corner of the bed, dressed nice and ready for their first real date since Kyle came home from the hospital almost two months ago. This night out was Kyle's idea. It would drive him nuts if he didn't get out and do something. Nate had been watching over him like a fussy mother hen, making sure he took his meds exactly when he should, getting him to his check-ups on time, every time. Forcing him to eat food that were supposed to be healthy for him but frankly tasted like shit. Kyle whined about it every step of the way just to annoy the guy, but the truth was – each and every time Nate took such care with him, displayed such depth of concern...Kyle had to bite back his tears – usually replacing them with a smart ass remark. Nate's love for him was above and beyond what his mortal mind could comprehend.
“No.” Nate stood and flashed a smile that tugged just a little to the right, and as always managed to turn Kyle's legs to rubber...while transforming other parts into steel. Nate rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm ready when you are.”
Liar. Kyle studied his face. The man was beautiful. Beyond beautiful. And so fucking sexy it was driving Kyle out of his mind. They hadn't done much in bed since he got home from the hospital and he was in desperate need to be seriously fucked by the man. Which was, in part, why he suggested they go out. If he remained in this house alone with Nate for one more full night, he was afraid he might rape the guy. So yeah, the date was for Nate's sake, first and foremost.
“I'm good to go.” Kyle's wear – black t-shirt and jeans – wasn't quite as snazzy as Nate's long sleeve white dress shirt, black sports jacket with black jeans – but it turned Nate on, even if the guy didn't say so, and that worked for Kyle.
Nate's palm was suddenly pressed against Kyle's brow, a look of concern pinching the man's face. “You feel okay?” Nate asked, that incessant note of worry tainting his tone. “You look flushed. A bit warm too.”
“I'm fine, nurse Betty.” Kyle smirked. Nothing a good hard fuck wouldn't fix. “You're not gonna use me as an excuse to get out of our plans.”
Nate frowned. “Why do you think I want out?”
“Don't know.” Kyle shrugged, but he did know, and he would deal with it when the time was right.
“Maybe you're just delusional.” Nate smiled. “Possibly a side effect of your drugs?”
“Yeah, whatever.” Kyle approached him as he stood up, hooking his fingers loosely in the waistband of Nate's jeans. One fingertip worked between the small gap of two of his shirt buttons and traced light circles around Nate's naval. The guy's stomach instantly quivered and jerked. Kyle smiled darkly. “Of course...we could always stay in...do something even more...exciting.” He leaned against Nate's body and teased his Adam's apple with the tip of his tongue. “Ya think?”
Nate's breath quickened in an instant. His crotch swelled against Kyle's. “You know...” He cleared his throat as his voice turned thick, raspy. “You know we're not supposed to be doing that yet.” His hands clamped onto Kyle's shoulder, but his grip was shaky. “One of us has to act responsibly. And we both know that sure as shit ain't gonna you.”
Chuckling, Kyle shrugged. “When have I ever been the responsible one?”
“My point exactly.” Nate lifted an eyebrow and what little room was left in Kyle's shorts – vanished in a pulse and a throb.
With clear reluctance, Nate stepped away from Kyle's probing touches and inviting body. “We should go.” His voice retained the roughness that betrayed his desire to stay home as Kyle suggested. “The movie is gonna start soon.”
“Fine.” Kyle groaned. “It's a fine day when a guy can't even get a little pre-date nookie from his man.”
Nate chuckled and shook his head. “Get your rear in gear, smart ass.”
Kyle winked. “I was trying to.”
♦
The line into the theater seemed to stretch away endlessly from both sides, with Nate and Kyle caught in the middle. Nate already regretted this choice of activity for the evening. It had been Kyle's idea to watch a movie, and that had been cool with Nate – but did he have to pick one that everyone was waiting to see? Crowds were not his thing, and especially not tonight as an annoying anxiety jabbed at his gut. He knew the source and that annoyed him even more.
A teen couple in front of them became fidgety and began groping each other playfully, the boy stealing a kiss from his girlfriend every few seconds, causing the girl to giggle and pretend to try and get away from him. Normally Nate would have found it cute, but tonight it was just irritating.
Admit it, man – you're just jealous because you want to be groping your lover.
So, okay – maybe that was part of it. He was so fucking horny for Kyle he couldn't see straight. Even the mild stuff he allowed to happen between them wasn't satisfying him – though it was damn good. But he was so ready to just cut loose and not have to rein himself – or Kyle – back in. It was getting more and more difficult to do so, and Kyle was sure as shit no help.
The girl laughed and shoved at her boyfriend, stepping back awkwardly and stomping on Nate's foot with the sharp heel of her shoe. He sucked in a tight breath then bit back the unpleasant words possessing his tongue. The girl's hand shot out and flattened against Nate's stomach as she caught herself, then she glanced at him and laughed apologetically.
“Sorry.” She turned back to her boyfriend and socked him lightly in the arm. “Look what you did, dumb ass. You made me step on the guy's foot.”
“You pushed me.” The boy snorted. Moments later they were onto something else and forgot about Nate.
Teenagers, Nate mentally rolled his eyes. Attention span of a moth.
A low snorting chuckle reached him and he glanced at Kyle. The guy cocked an eyebrow. “Getting touchy with the girls now, big boy?”
Nate rolled his eyes for real. “Shut up.” he muttered and emitted a short laugh. But the needling anxiety was still there, still annoying him.
“What's with you tonight?” Kyle asked. “Why're you acting so...uptight?”
“I'm not.” Nate muttered again, staring down the line of movie-goers. “It's just, I hate it when the theater is packed. Maybe we should do this another night. Find something else to do tonight.” He shifted uneasily. “Kind of feel out of place amongst all these kids.”
“Why?” Kyle grinned. “I don't.”
Nate chuffed. “That's because you never grew up.” He looked at him and smiled. “You're still one of them.”
Grinning, Kyle cocked an eyebrow and shrugged. Every time Nate looked at him, he was still in awe that Kyle was actually there. The last couple months seemed to have sped by in a flash, their time taken up by frequent checkups, carefully planned out exercise therapy to help Kyle condition his heart slowly, get it strengthened. Keeping him on a healthy eating regime. The dosage of his medications altered periodically. Having had both brain surgery and a heart transplant, Kyle's risk factor was higher than just that of one or the other. Greyson had strongly suggested they remain in L.A. for at least the first six weeks so that he could monitor Kyle's condition and progress closely, almost daily.
Dr. Hollis – the cardiologist who had performed Kyle's transplant – conferred with Greyson that it was best if Kyle remained in the city for that first month and a half, at least. The two doctors worked closely together on Kyle's case, so there was less chance of something going wrong and not being caught in time. Thank God, there had been no setbacks or problems with his body accepting the new heart. And though an element of risk remained even now, the more time that passed, the less Nate worried about something arising that would put Kyle back in the hospital.
Just a week ago, Greyson and Dr. Hollis had – somewhat reluctantly – given Kyle the okay to take a two week trip back to Idaho with Nate. Taking the necessary precautions, Greyson had contacted a trusted cardiologist in Boise and informed him of Kyle's condition then supplied Nate with the proper contact information in case anything went wrong while they were away. He didn't believe in taking chances or leaving anything to fate. And neither did Nate.
All of it had distracted Nate from really contemplating how close death had come to snatching Kyle away forever. When it did hit him at times, it sent a chill through his body and made him want to grab onto Kyle wherever they happened to be and just hold him tight, reminding himself that Kyle was really there, that he was flesh and blood and not just some figment of his imagination he conjured up because he couldn't handle reality.
Even now, standing in a long line consisting predominantly of teenagers – Nate was overcome with the need to have Kyle in his arms, his chest pressed tight to Nate's so he could feel the beat of his heart. Every night, after Kyle fell asleep, Nate would lay his head on the guy's chest, his ear pressed snug to his warm skin, and just listen to his heartbeat, sometimes count the beats, accepting each one as one more second of life Kyle had lived on this earth. Not once, since Kyle had come home, had Nate fallen asleep first. Even if he was tired to the point of feeling drugged, he would force himself to remain awake until Kyle was peacefully sleeping. Kyle had made a joke once that he was almost afraid to go to sleep, for fear he might not wake up again. Except – it hadn't been a joke. Nate had sensed a real fear in the guy. So he always stayed awake until Kyle fell asleep, so Kyle wouldn't have to lay awake alone in the dark, his fear torturing him. And he seemed to sleep more soundly when Nate stayed up, watching over him in a sense, making sure he was okay.
He glanced at Kyle. His hands were stuffed deep in the front pockets of his jeans and he was dancing back and forth on his feet, his arms prickled in goose flesh. The guy hadn't brought a jacket with him, wearing just his t-shirt. Nate had warned him it got pretty cool, and sometimes downright chilly, in the evenings up there. But despite Nate's insistence he bring a coat, Kyle had remained stubborn, insisting he didn't need every decision made for him. Nate knew he was suffocating him, but it was so hard not to watch over him every second of every day. So he had relented with the jacket issue, certain they would get right into the heated theater. Now he regretted it. The last thing Kyle needed was to get sick.
Nate shrugged out of his sports jacket and thrust it at Kyle. “Here. Put this on.”
“Huh?” Kyle looked at the jacket then at Nate, and shook his head. “No. I'm fine.”
“Put the fucking coat on.” Nate hissed low, leaning closer. “Or I'll put it on you myself. I don't need you getting sick.”
Kyle took the jacket, glancing around as if concerned by who might be watching. “People are gonna think I'm a fag.” He mumbled low, a half smirk on his lips. “Having to take a jacket from another guy.” He slipped it on.
People are gonna think I'm a fag. Nate's lips pressed tight as he just stared at Kyle's face. Was he really just joking? Or was he actually uneasy about people knowing the way he was?
From the moment they'd stepped out in public, Kyle hadn't touched him. Back at the house, he could barely keep the man's hands off him. But out here, where everyone could see...it felt like the old days...when they were just friends.
Nate looked away and cursed the sting in his eyes. Maybe Kyle would never be comfortable displaying that part of himself in public. He hadn't lived his life out like Nate had. He had even admitted to Nate, back at the cabin, that he wasn't like him, it mattered to Kyle what people thought. Nate found that hard to fathom, all things considered. But he also knew Kyle kept a lot of stuff carefully concealed beneath his cocky personality.
The anxiety from before pinched harder at his gut. He'd been scared of this, that he and Kyle would never truly have an out and open relationship. That everything between them would be kept behind closed doors. Sure, Kyle hadn't balked at Nate holding him at the funeral, but the guy had been so weary and wiped out, nothing would have mattered at that point.
Quit your fucking bitching. Kyle is alive, healthy. He loves you. Who gives a fuck if you have to keep things under wraps? You still have him in your life! Don't fucking whine like a spoiled brat because you didn't get every little thing you wanted. Be fucking grateful he's alive at all!
Nate cleared his throat and rubbed his hand over his mouth. Kyle stood just behind him, the sports jacket wrapped snug around his body, clearly basking in the warmth. Despite his moaning, Kyle was obviously grateful for the covering. His eyes stung again and he pressed his lips tighter. Did it really matter if Kyle wasn't comfortable displaying his feelings in public? He had him back, and that should be all that counted. All else was trivial.
“You're right.” Kyle said suddenly, startling Nate. “This place is gonna be fucking packed.” He released a low, short breath and glanced around then looked at Nate. “Let's go somewhere else.”
Nodding, Nate sighed. “Sounds good to me.”
“Wanna grab a pizza? Down at...” He waved his hand absently. “The place...I forgot the name...we used to go there sometimes when I was up here...it was the name of that dude, with the funky name.”
Nate's brow pinched. “Guido?” he said. “You're talking about Guido's?”
“Yeah.” Kyle nodded. “Is it still open? They made fucking awesome pizza.” He smirked. “And after all that healthy shit you've been cramming down my throat, I could use some real food for once.”
It had been torture for Kyle to eat healthy, and Nate couldn't entirely blame him. But though he had pissed and moaned with nearly every bite, he'd still consumed whatever Nate put before him. He deserved to be treated to some real food.
“Yeah, it's still open.”
“So?” Kyle raised an eyebrow and smiled, causing Nate's heart to do a hard flip-flop in his chest. “You wanna go there instead?”
Swallowing thickly, Nate nodded. “Definitely.”
They stepped out of line and crossed the street to where the truck was parked.
“That Guido guy was a funny fucker.” Kyle laughed as they climbed into the cab of Nate's truck.
Nate grinned. “He still is.” He cranked the ignition and glanced at Kyle, just missing the evil little smirk that grabbed at Kyle's lips then vanished as quickly.
♦
Guido's was exactly as Kyle remembered it. He guessed rural America wasn't as eager to make the constant changes as urban America. Which was fine. He suspected he was becoming infected with the country bug, finding he was enjoying his time in the boonies much more than life in the big city. Of course, the boonies had Nate...the city didn't. Could be a factor as to why he was becoming more and more countrified.
“Fuuuck.” Kyle moaned when they stepped through the door into Guido's, breathing deep. “Come on, I'm ready for something that isn't fucking good for me.”
Nate chuckled and motioned him towards the order counter. The fact that Nate was careful not to touch him – or imply with any gestures that they were together – didn't escape Kyle's attention. Not that Nate hadn't given him plenty of opportunities to initiate contact. More than once, the guy's hand had brushed against Kyle's, as if by chance, perhaps testing to see if Kyle would naturally take hold of him. It had been a sheer strength of will not to grab Nate's hand, or slide his arm around the guys' waist, or kiss him every minute or so. But the man clearly believed Kyle wasn't confident enough about his feelings and who he was to express it openly before the world.
And for that – Nate would have to be punished a little before Kyle set his mind at ease.
His lips pressed tight, resisting the smirk that struggled to take control of his mouth. Though he wasn't touching him, Nate still walked close by his side, as if it were physically impossible for the man to keep his distance. That alone nearly crippled Kyle's heart. Nate's love for him was deep and wide, and the anguish the guy was feeling at Kyle's reluctance to openly claim him was crushing the man.
After all he'd done for Kyle, the ultimate sacrifice he'd made to try and save Kyle's life – he had every right to feel bitter and angry with Kyle for not being open about their relationship. And yet – he didn't. Kyle sensed no negative emotions in Nate, other than his anguish at being shunned. When he looked in Nate's eyes, he saw only the man's intense, eternal love for him. And gratitude – that Kyle was even alive. Still, it was killing Nate to have to suppress his feelings and emotions in public. He was proud to have Kyle for a boyfriend, and Kyle knew it. Nate wanted to show Kyle to the world, display him like a well-earned trophy. But felt he had to hide him away instead.
Kyle bit his lip, fighting back the chuckle. The man wished for Kyle to openly claim him? One should be careful what they wish for.
Don't worry, baby. Here before long – you're gonna be wishing you could deny me.
♦
Though not nearly as packed as the theater, Guido's nevertheless had a decent head count, most of which was in the back of the establishment Nate viewed as the entertainment area. It wasn't much; a few arcade style video games lined the wall, a classic looking jukebox in the corner, a single pool table. Three or four booth tables were against another wall. In the center of the area were small round tables with stools, facing a small stage with a karaoke setup for folks whose unrealized dreams of being singers were given the spotlight to display their talent for the hearing discomfort of Guido's patrons.
Up front were rectangle tables with padded benches where most of the customers usually ate their meals. More often it was the teens that filled up the back area. But what with most of the teenagers apparently at the theater tonight, the customers in the back seemed mostly in an upper age group – and much more of them than was the norm.
“Wanna get a booth in the back?” Kyle leaned casually on the order counter and studied a menu that was laminated to the surface.
Nate glanced at the crowded area. A guy was on the small stage attempting to sing a romantic love song – no doubt to the poor young woman slowly sinking down on her stool and about to slide under her table. “Why don't we get a table up front.” he said. “It's kind of crowded back there.”
Lifting his head slowly, Kyle looked at him, his brow pinched, the corner of his mouth jerking. “What's with you and crowds tonight?”
“Well, I would like to eat in peace.” Nate said. “Without having to stuff my napkin in my ears.”
Kyle looked in the back, then grinned. “Ah, he's not so bad. And look.” He chuckled. “His girl adores him for trying.”
“You mean the girl hiding under her table?” Nate laughed.
“Hey-ya!” Guido came out of the back kitchen area and greeted the two men with a huge smile that flashed way too many teeth. “Nate! Good to see you, man. You haven't been around for a while. Whatcha been up to?”
Guido's Italian accent was strong, and he dressed like a member of the mob. Nate often wondered if he wasn't hiding out here in this little Idaho town.
“Been out of town.” Nate spoke low, his eyes flicked to Kyle who was studying the menu again. Nate's gaze settled briefly on the prominent scar on the side of Kyle's head, barely covered by the short layer of dark hair. Though the weeks had turned into a couple months, and time passed, Nate still felt trapped in that time frame of when Kyle's life was in imminent danger.
He cleared his throat and looked at Guido. “Personal stuff.”
“Gotcha.” Guido winked and snapped his finger at Nate, clucking his tongue. “Nunna ma business.” He chuckled. “So what can I getcha? What's your poison?”
Glancing up, Kyle grinned. “Your biggest pizza with every greasy, fatty topping ya got.” Then winked. “My buddy's paying.”
“He didn't literally mean your poison.” Nate shook his head, his instinctive habit to force Kyle to eat right trying to kick in. He pushed it back. One sinfully fatty meal wasn't going to hurt the guy. He looked at Guido, shrugged and grinned. “Whatever he asks for, I guess...since apparently I'm paying. Don't know just when we established that.”
Guido laughed as Nate dug out his wallet, paid for Kyle's order, plus a couple cokes.
“What's up with the crowd?” Nate asked as he stuffed his wallet back into his rear pocket. “Seems excessive.”
The Italian shrugged absently. “Can't say. They just started accumulating.”
Nate frowned and smiled. “Strange.”
“Mm-Hm.” Guido shot a quick glance at Kyle then grinned at Nate. “Your order will be done in about fifteen.”
Nodding, Nate picked up his glass of soda as Kyle grabbed his own and headed for the back area. Nate hesitated, groaning, then shook his head and followed him to the only empty booth. Nate sat down but Kyle remained standing.
“I'll be back in a sec.” he smirked. “Gotta drain my main vein.”
“Nice.” Nate shook his head then chuckled as Kyle headed for the restrooms. He grabbed one of the straws and popped it out of its casing and stabbed in into the glass of coke and ice. He took a sip then slowly stirred the ice, watching the dark liquid swirl in a tiny whirlpool.
A pressure squeezed his chest suddenly and he closed his eyes, struggling to force it away. Kyle was trying to have a good time tonight and, though he didn't say much, it was clear he was picking up on Nate's less than enthusiastic attitude. And it pissed Nate off that he was letting his fucking anxiety taint their first actual date.
Date. Was that really what it was? Or just two friends hanging out? There was nothing romantic about any of this. It was the same shit they had done when they were just friends. Fuck, he couldn't even hold the guy's hand, or kiss him. Or even look at him too long with the wrong look without feeling like he was making Kyle uncomfortable.
He wasn't pissed at Kyle. Not at all. More so at himself for wanting something he should have known better than to wish for. Kyle loved him. He knew the guy loved him. Nothing else should matter. Nothing else did matter. Not really. It was just...
“Fuck.” Nate whispered and ducked his head, dragging his fingers through his hair then down the back of his head. He rubbed the nape of his neck, feeling like shit for making a mountain out a molehill.
Will you ever be fucking satisfied? Kyle practically came back from the dead and that's still not enough for you? What the fuck do you want him to do – shout his love to the world with a fucking bull horn-
“You all picked a great night to be here. You're in for a treat.”
Kyle's sudden voice booming out of the stage speakers jerked Nate's head up and to the side so fast he swore something popped in his neck. His pulse quivered and shuddered to a near death state as he stared in disbelief at Kyle standing on the small stage behind the microphone. He'd changed clothes and was now wearing black leather pants of a high glossy sheen, and so tight they could pass for a second skin. A black pimp hat rested at a slight angle on his head and he still wore Nate's sport's jacket.
Air lodged in Nate's tightening throat, preventing proper breathing, as his pulse came back to life and sped up, faster, faster, until his head began to feel light and dizzy. Kyle's eyes locked with Nate's as a prominent smirk raced across his lips – and he winked.
“You've got to be shittin' me.” Nate groaned, his voice cracked.
What the fuck are you doing, you little shit?
“Cross The Line, Never Looking Back”
♦
H E took a moment to revel in the priceless look of shock – and perhaps horror – on Nate's face. If the man hadn't been frozen in place, Kyle was quite certain he would have bolted for the door.
Ah, but you wanted it, baby, Kyle mused. And now you're gonna get it.
The microphone squeezed in his fist as he popped it loose from the stand. Nate's eyes were glued to him, narrow and tense. He didn't miss the shadow of warning in that stare either, even from across the room. Reading Nate's mind was simple, he knew the guy so well. He suspected his thoughts consisted of – You fucking little shit, I swear to God if you embarrass me, I'll wring your scrawny neck – or something to that effect.
As usual, Kyle ignored the warning, blowing it off as an empty threat. Nate wouldn't hurt a fly.
Unless that fly embarrassed him in front of a room full of people – then he would squash it.
Chuckling to himself, Kyle considered it worth the risk. After tonight – Nate would never doubt him again.
Nor will he ever take you out in public again, either – but what the fuck.
♦
Pressure squeezed his jaw and tiny stinging shocks snapped up into Nate's face as his teeth clamped tighter and tighter. Oh God, please let this be a dream. He realized he was gripping his glass of soda way too tight just moments before it threatened to shatter in his hands – and released it.
“My name's Kyle.” Kyle's voice seemed to boom throughout the room, surely not nearly as loud as Nate heard it, but certainly loud enough. “I'm here tonight with my...buddy...Nate.”
You shit. Nate groaned and tried to will himself to disappear as Kyle's arm shot out and he pointed right at Nate – drawing the attention of everyone in the room. All eyes fell on him and he glared hard at Kyle. Count yourself lucky, boy, that looks can't kill.
Kyle grinned. “Come on, Nate!” he spoke even louder. “Stand up! Show 'em what a fine piece of man flesh you are!”
You are so gonna fucking pay for this.
Without moving from the booth, Nate raised his right hand and gave him the finger. The room burst with laughter and Kyle clucked his tongue. “Stop teasing me now.”
A sigh of exasperation puffed from Nate's nostrils and he shook his head. The girl from earlier who nearly died from embarrassment when her boyfriend tried to sing her a song – shot Nate a sympathetic look, but which also declared 'Thank god all my man did was sing a song.'
Kyle chuckled. “I called Nate my buddy...but we're much more than that...aren't we?” He winked at Nate. “You know, this guy is pretty amazing.” Kyle spoke to the people and Nate sat rigid, unable to take his eyes off the guy. Aside from the fact that he wanted to choke Kyle right now, he nonetheless could not get over the way he looked in those fucking skin tight pants – leaving little to the imagination. Every move he made dragged Nate's eyes to his sizable package. A sudden, agonizing ache shot through Nate's crotch and his jaw clenched tighter, his breath wheezing through his clamped teeth.
The little fucker knew exactly what he was doing when he chose those pants.
Kyle continued. “A couple months ago...I was on my death bed.” His eyes grabbed Nate's stare and, for a moment, his words were rimmed with a serious tone. “This guy here.” A slight tightness squeezed Kyle's voice. “He stuck by me. Refused to give up or let me go.”
A combined swelling - “Awww” - emitted from the small crowd and all eyes turned to Nate once again. Nate rubbed his hand over his mouth and just stared at Kyle. A couple months ago I was on my death bed. Hearing those words come out of Kyle's mouth was like a punch of reality to Nate's heart. For the last two months it seemed he'd been running on auto-pilot, doing whatever it took to make sure Kyle got what he needed and such. He rarely let himself fully contemplate how close he really came to losing him. And Kyle almost never talked about what he'd went through. Nate was aware that it freaked the guy out, how close to death he'd actually been. So for him to even mention it now, in front of a room full of strangers...was almost epic.
“Ever since I came home from the hospital.” Kyle said. “He's been taking care of me, looking out for me, providing all my needs.”
A rush of adoring looks fell on Nate.
He stared at Kyle, his face beginning to soften some – until that devilish smirk crept back across Kyle's lips like an evil imp. The tension returned instantly. Nate was well familiar with that look – and it was never a good omen.
“Well.” Kyle grinned, his eyes narrowing just a bit with a dark glint. “Almost all my needs.”
Don't you dare.
“There is one need he's been a bit stingy with.”
You little fucker, I swear to God. Nate's eyes burned with a deadly threat. The heat began to seep down into his face, warming his cheeks. Thank God the lights weren't bright back here. Nate rubbed his hand over his mouth, the tension in his face evident to the touch. He glanced around anxiously when he noticed Guido standing off to the side, arms crossed over his chest, watching Kyle – a giant, toothy grin on his face.
A frown squeezed Nate's brow. His eyes snapped from Guido to Kyle, then back to the Italian. The man had conspired with Kyle, to set this up. The fucker.
Guido caught his eye and his grin grew bigger – if that were even possible.
Nate started to leave his seat to approach the man – when Kyle's voice stopped him and dropped his ass back into the booth, hard.
“My boy's been denying me what I need the most.” Kyle winked at Nate again as another rumble of laughter rolled through the crowd, followed by a bombardment of - “Boo!”
Nate's face twitched, his eyes narrowing and cutting into Kyle as the warmth in his cheeks began to burn.
“Aww come on!” A guy on the far side of the room shouted. “Give the boy some lovin'!”
Laughter erupted and others chimed in, seconding the motion.
I am gonna so fucking hurt you for this, Nate fumed inwardly.
“Oh, look at that face.” Kyle smiled sweetly and flattened his hand tenderly over his heart, the devil in his eyes. “He loves me.”
“Don't think that's love, buddy!” Another guy shouted, inciting more eruption from the group.
Kyle's eyes gripped Nate's steely glare, and winked once more. “Ah, sure it is. You just gotta understand Nate.” He smirked. “That's his I Adore You To Pieces look.”
Another man jumped in. “Looks more like I'm about to beat the piss out of you look, I'd say!”
Nate snorted; that guy had it right.
“Nah.” Kyle chuckled. “Not my tender loving Nate.”
Oh God, please let this be over soon, Nate groaned.
“But anyway.” Kyle grabbed the microphone stand and moved it out of the way, then seized Nate's eyes again. “Nate, baby...come on now, stand up. Let the folks get a look at my man.”
A flurry of cheering voices urged Nate to stand.
“Come on, Nate.” Kyle went on, and Nate's anxiety began to swell by leaps and bounds. “Show 'em what a hottie you are.”
So intent was Nate on watching Kyle warily, determined not to lift his ass out of that booth, that he jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. Guido grinned then nudged his arm. “Come on, my friend.” Guido urged. “No fair hiding in the booth. Ya gotta be standing to get the proper view and full effect of all this.”
Nate's guts twisted tighter. “All what?”
Every thinking part of Nate's brain warned him not to leave the booth, but Guido wouldn't take no for an answer, and tugged Nate up onto his feet. Nate's eyes bored into the man.
“You're in on this with him, aren't you?”
Guido chuckled. “Everyone needs an accomplice.”
“I thought we were friends.” Nate muttered.
“He swore this was for you.”
“And you believed him?” Nate cocked an eyebrow. He was out of the booth but didn't move any further, leaning against the high wooden back. “And this crowd? Your doing?”
Guido just chuckled.
Kyle's raised voice jerked Nate's attention back to the stage. “Ah, there we go!” Kyle grinned. “Now y'all can get a good look! Isn't he just beautiful?”
Whistles and cat calls exploded through the room. Nate's lips pressed tight as he ducked his head, shaking it slowly. He rubbed his hand over his mouth again, dragging it down slowly, groaning. He could feel the heat surging to the surface of his skin. His hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans and he stared at the floor. The corner of his mouth jerked and twisted with a humorless smile.
“Now can you imagine being denied all that fantasticness?” The smirk on Kyle's face was audible in his voice as Nate continued to shake his head slowly, refusing to look at the guy.
Fantasticness? That wasn't even a fucking word. He swore the guy made this shit up as he went along.
The room burst out in sympathy for Kyle being denied his apparent due lovin'.
Oh God – help me now!
He swore he could hear God chuckling – You're the one who wanted him back. Don't come crying to me. That little bundle of craziness belongs to you now.
And whoever said God didn't have a sense of humor?
A twisted one at that.
“Aw, baby, don't be shy!” Kyle called out. “You have the love of the people!”
Another burst of whistles and cheers.
Nate tugged one hand loose and absently raked his fingers through his hair then gripped the back of his neck and raised his head just a bit. He could wring Kyle's neck for this – yet the vision of him standing up there, decked out in a get-up that surely had to have him feeling at least somewhat self-conscious, life exploding out of him like a blinding light...Nate couldn't totally deny the beauty and miracle of it all.
“But tell me, baby.” Kyle spoke out loud and, like a needle stabbing a balloon, Nate's brief moment of wonderment burst into nothingness. The guy pressed the thick tip of the microphone close to his lips and when he spoke, his voice came out deep and low – and extra loud. “Do you know what it's doing to me...all this lack of lovin'?”
Oh fuck. Where are you going with this?
“How all this is affecting me?” He glanced at the crowd and continued to speak low into the microphone. “I don't think he knows. Perhaps I should...express myself?”
Piercing whistles and whoops of encouragement blasted Nate's ears and he winced, then cringed. Oh dear God, please don't let him express himself.
♦
Kyle had to bite his lip to keep from busting out laughing at the look of mild terror on Nate's face. Had the guy known this was what was in store for the evening – he would have gladly stayed home at Kyle's mock request. But even through the threatening glares and narrowed eyes – the love was still there. Granted it was heavily veiled – but still there nonetheless.
Nate rubbed the back of his neck with unease, his head half ducked but still watching Kyle – and looking so fucking sexy. By the time I'm through with you, baby, you're gonna be giving me some tonight. Don't think I don't see you checkin' out my goods.
The man's eyes were heavy on his back when he turned and walked over to the stereo setup and selected his song of choice.
Get ready to take ride on the crazy train, baby.
♦
A funny tingling sensation quivered up Nate's thighs, through his groin and into his lower abdomen as Kyle turned his back to him. It was impossible to keep his eyes from grabbing Kyle's perfect ass, so defined and accentuated in the tight leather pants that clung to his skin as surely as if they were painted on. Kyle had to have known those pants would be his redemption from all he did here tonight.
A faint queasiness weaved through his guts when Kyle returned to the front of the small stage, the cordless microphone gripped in his right hand. He raised the microphone close to his lips again as his left hand snaked up and tipped his hat down over his brow just a bit.
“This one's for you, baby.” He murmured deep and low into the microphone. “Just a little something to let you know what happens to a man when he's deprived.”
“Depraved, you mean.” Nate muttered low. Beside him, Guido chuckled.
The corner of Kyle's mouth slowly dragged up to the left and his eyes narrowed in a look that never failed to rip the strength from Nate's legs. “Hold onto your butt, baby.” Kyle warned. Despite Nate's anxiety, that look on Kyle's face and his low, deep sexy-as-hell voice spun around him like tentacles, stinging all over his body, setting him on fire.
The girl from earlier cast Nate another sympathetic look that offered – I hope your man sings better than mine.
So do I, Nate groaned. But in truth, he'd seen Kyle screw around plenty of times in the past, mocking songs, being crazy – and even in his goofing off Nate could tell the guy had a great voice, though he'd never heard him actually straight up sing a song. Did Kyle really have to choose tonight to make his debut on stage?
The music poured out of the speakers, quietly at first as Kyle turned his back to the room then began to move with the beat of the music as it quickly grew louder, pumping through the room. Kyle's left hand rose and gripped his hat lightly and he spun slowly around on his heel, the microphone at his lips.
“Feels like I'm having a meltdown...it feels like I'm losing control.”
The room exploded with whistles and cheers.
“They tell me I'm a danger to myself...now the crazy train is ready to roll – Oh-oh!” Nate's breath staggered and hitched when Kyle thrust his hips and proclaimed - “Walk that walk, like you don't give a fuck! You got the right to turn it up and get down.” - he spun a quick, full circle on one foot and slapped his ass, nearly dropping Nate to his knees. - “Electric shock! No I can't get enough – 'cause tonight we're taking over the town – Hey-ey!”
Kyle leaped off the stage and Nate slammed back against the wooden side of the booth, his heart catching. When Kyle's feet hit the floor, he ripped open the front of his jacket, revealing a bright pink, sleeveless t-shirt clinging so tight to his torso that his chest and stomach muscles rippled visibly. He whipped off the jacket and flung it away.
“I wanna lose my mind – like a maniac! And cross that line – never looking back!”
Nate nearly choked on his tongue as the words Proven Penis Enlarger glared back in bold, bright rainbow lettering.
“We're on the loose – gettin' crazy!” - Kyle moved with the music, his body doing things Nate had never quite seen before, coming down the aisle between the tables – towards Nate – “And we've gone cuckoo!”
No shit, he'd gone cuckoo. The boy had done gone over the edge.
“Gonna party till they take us away!” Kyle was closer, and moving in fast. Nate's back pressed tighter against the booth, his pulse hammering. His body was responding to Kyle's fluid movements way too eagerly and he couldn't seem to dissuade it.
Kyle grasped his hat again - “I'm swinging off of my hinges.” - his hips began to sway so beautifully it ripped an agonized whimper from Nate's throat – then a stifled cry as Kyle's hand suddenly dropped to his full, accentuated crotch and gripped hard as his hips thrust forward - “I'm cocked and I'm ready to go!”
Nate bit his lip hard. Fuuuck!
“Go on and pack up your things-es...the crazy train is ready to roll – Oh-Oh!” Kyle's hand clamped to his hips as they gyrated in perfect sync with the beat of the music - “Walk that walk like you don't give a fuck!” - he was right there and spun around before Nate could respond, pressed his body back hard against Nate's. He clutched his hat - “You've got the right to turn it up and get down!” - he dropped, sliding down Nate's body then back up again. Nate's jaw clenched so tight black spots dotted his vision as Kyle's extremely tight clad ass rubbed against his swelling crotch. - “Electric shock – no I can't get enough!” - Kyle's hand shot back and slapped Nate's ass hard – awarding himself a sharp grunt from Nate - as he thrust away from the man and spun around to face him, an evil glint in his eyes, as he danced away, holding Nate's fevered stare - “'Cause tonight we're taking over the town! Hey-ey!”
Holy Fuck! Nate whimpered – then cringed when he realized it was audible. I'm in love with a lunatic!
The crowd was going crazy, agging him on, shrill whistles drilled into Nate's brain, making his head pound harder.
Kyle spun in a fast circle and whipped his hat off, sailing it into the crowd then gripped his head, swinging it back and forth - “I wanna lose my mind! Just like a maniac!” - Nate feared that was already a done deal - “And cross the line, never looking back! We're on the loose, gettin' crazy! And we've gone cuckoo!” - Nate groaned, clutching the booth. Baby, no argument here! Sweat was causing his shirt to cling to his body - “Gonna party till they take us away!” - Won't be long now, Nate mused, his breath shaky and heart rate uneven.
“Lose my mind! I'm gonna lose my mind!”
His pulse racing, Nate couldn't calm it as he watched Kyle's perfect body ripple and contract beneath his skin tight clothes, his hips rotating so smooth and fluid, exploding Nate's mind with images of the guy on top of him, using those movements to-
“Gonna get out of this strai-aight jacket - whoa-oh-oh!” - Kyle's left arm shot out to the side as his body curved and bent backwards just a bit, his legs spread eagled and feet planted firm - “Cuckoo!” - Pressure closed Nate's throat and tightened his lower region more prominently as Kyle's leather pants squeezed his body in all the right places - “Gonna get out of this strai-aight jacket – whoa-oh-oh! Yeeaah!”
Nate's head was swimming, teetering him on the edge of fainting. Trust me, baby, your “straight” jacket is long gone. Fuck, when that boy came out – he came out in a blaze of glory!
“I wanna lose my mind – like a maniac!” - Nate's head cleared just enough to thrust him into deeper shock as Kyle slid to his knees at Nate's feet. His hand snapped out and grabbed the back of Nate's calf - “And cross the line – never looking back!” - He began to slither up Nate's body, pressed close and tight, dragging his hand up the back of Nate's thigh - “We're on the loose- gettin' crazy! And we've gone...” - His teeth suddenly nipped Nate's swollen crotch, ripping a sharp yelp from him - “Cuckoo!”
Kyle squeezed Nate's ass hard as he was back on his feet. His evil smirk played wildly across his lips as he broke from singing for a split second, long enough to speak hushed into the microphone - “Don't worry, baby, no one saw that.” - the crowd instantly went wild with whistles and laughter as Kyle turned in one fluid movement and pressed his ass against Nate's groin, grabbing Nate's hand and flattening it on his hip as he swayed back and forth - “Gonna party till they take us away.” - Nate's head dropped back hard against the side of the booth, his eyes squeezing shut, his heart beating frantic against his ribs. Kyle shoved away again, spinning around and swinging his ass as he half danced, half strutted back down the aisle.
Tremors swept through Nate's body in waves. He clung to the booth, his knees pure rubber. It was in him to think evil thoughts towards Kyle, but the fire burning up his brain and his body didn't allow for any shred of rational thought. Beads of sweat broke out all over his fevered skin and trickled down his face. The little shit really wanted to get fucked tonight – and he knew just how to get his wish!
Kyle spun two fast circles on the ball of his foot then stopped short, facing Nate, his hand clamped onto the back of his head as it swayed back and forth - “Lose my mind – gonna lose my mind – lose my mind!” - Nate's chest heaved. The boy's mind had long abandoned him, but his body still worked like a fucking charm - “Gonna party till they take us away! Lose my mind – gonna lose my mind! - Yeeaah!” - His hand shot forward as he pointed straight at Nate and snapped his hips so smooth and perfect Nate bit his lip to keep from crying out - “Gonna party till they take us away!”
The song ended abruptly, the music instantly quiet. The room went silent. Nate shuddered, his back pressed hard against the side of the booth, his eyes glued to Kyle, not seeing anyone else – just Kyle. He tried to breathe but his throat clenched, squeezing the air trying to pass in and out of his lungs.
The guy's left arm slowly lowered but the microphone remained hovering near his lips as he stared at Nate, his chest heaving, his staggered breath pumping into the microphone and out of the speakers – the only sound in the room. Nate could feel all eyes on him, but he was only truly aware of Kyle.
♦
The sudden silence rang in Kyle's ears along with the fierce thump of his heart. His ragged breath puffed from between his slightly parted lips, reverberating out of the speakers and throughout the deathly still room. He gripped the microphone in his fist, squeezing until his wrist and arm ached, to prevent his hand from shaking.
Nate just stared at him from the booth, his eyes undecipherable. But he didn't move, didn't speak. And a sudden sliver of fear burrowed into Kyle's heart. Oh God, did I just fuck up – again? Did I go too far? I just wanted to show him, prove to him...
The words were slipping off his lips before he could consider if what he was saying were things that should be said before everyone. “I love you, Nate.” His voice shuddered into the microphone and rippled out of the speakers for all to hear. “I've loved you all my life...even when we were kids. I thought...I thought we were just friends then, but...” His words squeezed with emotion. “We were never just friends, Nate...I always loved you...even when I was afraid to tell you so.” The microphone felt slick in his damp palm and his hand shook a little as he tried to keep it from slipping free. “I always knew you were the one.” His eyes burned. “Always, baby.”
Please don't be mad at me, Nate. Please...
♦
There was that look. The one that could knock Nate to his knees faster than any other that Kyle gave him. The look Kyle would adopt at times, right after doing something wild and crazy – and usually embarrassing the shit out of Nate – that was laced in the fear that he'd crossed the line just a little too far and pissed Nate off...or hurt him somehow.
He was there now, staring back at Nate – that insecure boy that hid so well beneath his cocky, smart ass exterior, but every now and then peeked out to see if he'd finally fucked up too much, burned a bridge that couldn't be rebuilt.
Nate bit his lower lip. His eyes stung. He loved that boy – he was so fucking cute.
Kyle's words lingered strong in the air. His profession of love. Not caring who heard. Only caring that Nate understood – really understood – that he loved him. No bullshit, no nothing. Just raw, real love.
“When I was a breath away from...death.” Kyle's voice trembled. “What you did for me...to try and save my life.” His lips pressed tight as his eyes began to shimmer. “I don't even know how...how to comprehend it. That you could love me like that.”
Warm tears blurred Nate's vision as Kyle swam before him.
“It might be Ian's heart...that saved my life.” He whispered into the microphone. “But it's your heart, Nate...that makes that life worth living.”
Soft murmurs sifted through the crowd. Some of those watching, listening, wiped at their eyes.
“If all of this was too much.” Kyle's breath caught, his voice breaking. “I'm sorry. I know I go too far sometimes.” He choked on a short laugh. “Most of the time.”
Nate pushed away from the booth and walked towards Kyle. He could feel the entire crowd holding their breath as he approached the guy. Kyle stood stone still – and looking sexy as hell in his black leather pants and tight, bright pink shirt with Proven Penis Enlarger plastered across the front in the sparkling rainbow letters. The shirt sucked to Kyle's torso, nearly drenched with sweat, defining each and every muscle in his chest and stomach. His tight pants defining other muscles just as well.
It's so fucking cute that you think I might be mad at you.
Nate's hand curled around Kyle's as he leaned down until his lips were nearly touching Kyle's mouth, as well as the microphone. “Baby.” He murmured, his voice rising slowly. “I loooved it!”
The crowd came to life in an instant, screaming and whistling.
“You are so fucking sexy, baby.” Nate grinned, inciting more whistles and shouts of agreement. He kissed Kyle hard, dragging him into his arms and squeezing tight, wrenching more whoops and hollers from the people.
“I love you.” Nate shuddered as Kyle still clutched the microphone. “I love your craziness, your insanity.” He grinned and kissed him again then touched his forehead to Kyle's brow – and winked. “I love my wild Kyle.”
The crowd went crazy, clapping and shouting and whistling.
Nate covered Kyle's hand again as the guy just stared at him. Speechless? Kyle? Who would've thought it possible? Nate grinned and spoke low into the microphone, his lips close to Kyle's. “Now unless you want me to embarrass us both in the worst way, right here on the floor...you better get that pizza to go.”
"Hold Me Now, Touch Me Now”
♦
“I N E E D you to promise me you'll be careful.”
Nate stood alone in the kitchen with Greyson. The older man gazed at him intently.
“Of course.” Nate said. “I'll watch out for Kyle. You know I will.”
Clearing his throat, Greyson clamped his hands on his hips and stared at the floor. One hand went to the back of his neck, scratching absently. “Of course I know you'll look out for him.” Greyson said low, then raised his eyes without really lifting his head. “That isn't exactly what I meant.”
“What...” Nate's voice faltered as he suddenly caught the man's meaning. “Oh...uh...” He cleared his throat as warmth seeped into his cheeks and he emitted a short laugh.
“I'm not blind.” Greyson said quietly. “I see how much you and Kyle love one another. And...” He pressed his lips tight, nodding slowly, his eyes creeping back to the floor. “How much you...want to express it.”
Nate shifted uncomfortably. “Uh...yeah.” He swallowed tightly.
Lifting his head, Greyson looked at him directly. “Kyle is doing well. His sternum is nearly completely healed. All his tests have come back satisfactory. But...I'd still advise against too much...activity all at once. Best not to take chances. I want to be sure he is fully recovered before his heart is put to the test to that degree.”
“I understand.”
“I know you do.” Greyson said. “But I also know how quickly things can get out of hand, even when you don't intend for it to.” He shifted and cleared his throat again. “You and Kyle are barely...containing yourselves now. And that's with Janice and myself constantly around. When you're back home...there's not going to be anyone to help rein you in.”
Nate licked his lips slowly. “I won't let it get out of control.” Greyson looked doubtful and, frankly, Nate felt doubtful but still he added, “I promise. I'll keep things under control.”
Greyson's warning – and Nate's promise – consumed in the heat of the fire surging through both young men and exploded into ashes as Nate kicked open the bedroom door, causing it to slam back hard against the wall. Kyle was clutched in his arms as they came through the doorway in a frenzied rush, their bodies glued together, lips locked and breath panting into one another's mouths.
They dropped on the bed hard and Kyle clawed at Nate's shirt, tearing open the front, snapping buttons, ripping the button holes. As soon as Nate's chest became exposed, Kyle's mouth was on him, biting, sucking. Finding a stiff nipple, he clamped on with his teeth as he tugged and jerked Nate's shirt the rest of the way off.
“Fuck!” Nate hissed when Kyle bit harder then sucked – his warm, velvet tongue sliding all over the hard bud. His throbbing crotch ground against Kyle's, the guy's hunger for him pressing fiercely against the tight leather pants.
A sharp, erratic breath exploded out of him and he slid down Kyle's body and onto his knees on the floor at the edge of the bed, grabbing Kyle's hips and dragging him down closer. His hands rubbed firmly up Kyle's leather clad thighs then he dragged his palms over his hard crotch, squeezing and massaging.
“Fuck! Nate!” Kyle's breath burst up his throat on a sharp, severe gasp. His hands dropped and covered Nate's, helping him rub his throbbing member through his tight pants.
Nate pushed Kyle's hands away then rubbed his own up the guy's body, working them under Kyle's damp, clinging shirt, groping his hard stomach and further up to his chest. He grabbed at Kyle's bulging crotch with his teeth, causing Kyle to whimper and buck. His tongue licked all over the sleek leather, tracing the contours of Kyle's fierce erection underneath.
“Fuck, baby...” Kyle whimpered hard, panting, clawing the bedspread.
A low, thick groan rolled up Nate's throat and his hands rubbed down over Kyle's quivering stomach, across his hips then worked under his ass, squeezing his perfect cheeks through the exceedingly tight leather, pressing his fingertips into the crease of his ass.
“Uuuhh! Fuuuck!” Kyle arched his hips, giving Nate's hands more room to maneuver.
“Fuck, Kyle.” Nate gasped against his pulsing crotch as his lips grabbed and sucked at his hardness. “How the fuck did you even get into these?”
A shuddery laugh rolled up Kyle's throat. “Wasn't easy.” He grinned, panting, as Nate continued to fondle his ass and nibble at his crotch. “Didn't know if the goods were gonna make it in.” he chuckled, trembling. “But they managed.”
“Barely.” Nate covered his bulge with his mouth and sucked hard.
“God!” Kyle's hands clamped onto the back of Nate's head as he lifted his hips.
Nate drew back, rising up on his knees, and grabbed Kyle's hips in a tight grip and flipped him onto his stomach then shoved him further onto the bed as he crawled up, sliding one knee onto the edge of the mattress and rubbing his hands strongly up the back of Kyle's thighs then clutching his ass cheeks.
“Fu-uck, baby.” Nate groaned, squeezing his ass hard through the clinging leather. “You have thee perfect ass. Mmm!”
“So what you said...at the cabin?” Kyle moaned. “About my ass...you were lying?”
Nate squeezed his ass harder and leaned down. “Lying through my fucking teeth.” He bit Kyle's ass cheek through the leather, making the guy flinch and suck in a sharp breath. Nate pressed his tongue firmly against the crease of Kyle's ass and dragged it slowly up the length of it.
“Fuck.” Kyle gasped and pressed his face against the bedspread, squeezing the blankets in his fists.
Like a sledge hammer, Nate's heart crashed against his ribs, his breath staggered and quick. He rubbed his hands up under the back of Kyle's shirt, shoving it upward. Tight and damp, the fabric rolled rather than scrunched, as Nate pushed it up over his shoulder blades. His lips touched the slight curving depression of Kyle's back just above his tail bone, kissing, sucking the sweat from his heated skin. A quiver ran through Kyle's body and his breath shuddered against the blankets, his fists squeezing tighter.
“Uuhhh...” Kyle whimpered when Nate's warm tongue touched his spine, the soft tip tracing up over each vertebrae as Nate's body moved up over the top of Kyle's and his lips kissed the guy's wet skin between his shoulder blades, causing another shudder to flutter through him.
Nate sat back a little and slid his arm under Kyle's waist, drawing the man up off the bed a bit as he used his other hand to peel Kyle's shirt off over his head. Kyle helped, tugging it loose and tossing is aside. His hands flattened against the bed, supporting himself as Nate held him with one arm around the waist, straddling his ass, his hard crotch grinding against Kyle's cheeks. His free hand rubbed down the side of Kyle's ribs slowly, firmly, then lower across his hip, his lower abdomen and between his thighs, gripping his steel crotch.
“FFFFuck.” Kyle gasped, biting his lip hard, his head dropping forward then snapping back, his teeth clenching as Nate rubbed him, massaging with his whole hand.
The fever in Kyle's skin seared Nate's chest as his body hugged against the guy's back. He kissed the curve of his shoulder, biting the muscle. Kyle shuddered and twisted his head, exposing his neck as Nate's teeth grabbed at the protruding tendon. His other hand found its way to Kyle's crotch. His fingers trembled as he worked open the front of the leather pants and slowly unzipped them then worked his hand down inside. There wasn't much room in there, but enough.
“Ahhh!” Kyle's body jerked as Nate rubbed his hard, bare flesh with both hands. Shaking, Kyle held himself up with one arm as he used his other hand to work frantically at his pants, struggling to shove them down over his hips – and failing. “Fuck! Get these off me, Nate!”
Nate chuckled and drew back, then worked Kyle up onto his knees in front of him. But rather than tugging off his pants, he held him up, Kyle's back pressed against Nate's chest, as he shoved down just the front of the leather pants, releasing Kyle's fierce hunger. Nate gripped the inside of Kyle's thigh with one hand and wrapped the other around his hardened cock.
“Fuck, baby!” Kyle's fingernails dug into Nate's arms, his head dropping back onto Nate's shoulder as he thrust his hips, driving himself through Nate's fist.
“I love how hard you get.” Nate groaned against Kyle's ear as he squeezed just a fraction and stroked him slowly. “When you're wanting me so fucking bad.”
Kyle just grunted and worked his hips more urgently, fucking Nate's strong hand, his tightly encased ass rocking against Nate's aching crotch.
Fuck, I'm gonna lose my mind, Nate trembled, the ache spreading and throbbing, pulsing. He released Kyle's thigh and slid his hand down behind the man, gripping his ass, rubbing, massaging, squeezing his perfectly rounded cheeks, aching like a motherfucker to be inside his lover.
“Fuck!” A hard breath burst up Nate's throat and he shoved Kyle forward onto his hands and knees, then rubbed his hands down over his ass, squeezing hard. He bit his ass cheeks again as Kyle dropped down on his elbows and tucked his head between his arms, panting loud, breath erratic.
“Please, Nate...” Kyle whimpered, his voice cracking. “Please, baby...just fuck me already.”
Nate rubbed his hands hard over his ass, his thumbs pressing hard up through the crease of his cheeks. He teased his hole through the sleek leather, the tip of his thumb rubbing and working forcefully.
“Fuuuck!” Kyle's back arched, his head snapping up and back. He reached under himself and grabbed his own raging erection and began pumping as his head dropped back down against the bed again. “Fuck...” His breath exploded against the blankets.
Kissing the small of his back, Nate dug his fingers under the waist band of the pants and pulled them off Kyle's hips – not without effort – and down over his ass, exposing his beautiful flesh.
Fuck, baby, you are so delicious. Nate groaned and worked the pants down his thighs a bit then rubbed his hands back up over his naked, rounded ass cheeks. His fingertips gouged into Kyle's flesh as Nate groaned in near agony at the sight before him. He spread his cheeks then dragged his tongue slowly up through the crease.
“Fuuuck!!!” Kyle released himself and clutched the blankets in tight fistfuls, his body jerking and arching. “Fuck, Nate! Oh my god...Oh fuck, baby...don't stop...”
Nate's hands caressed around to the front of his hips and gripped securely as he traced Kyle's tight entrance with the tip of his tongue then plunged through. Kyle jerked forward, releasing a sharp gasping cry, then thrust back again for more. Nate's tongue flicked against his hole rapidly, ripping short, hard gasps from Kyle. His hands raked over the back of his head and his teeth clamped onto the blankets.
“Uuhh!! Fuck! Fuuuck!!” Kyle's hands dropped away from his head and he clawed the blankets again, his hips twisting, working against Nate's tongue. “Oh fuck, baby...I can't take it...you're gonna make me cum with just your tongue!”
As if to say the idea appealed to him, Nate reached under him and gripped his rigid cock and began stroking him as he continued to tongue his tight hole.
“Fuu-uck! God dammit, Nate!!”
“It's okay, baby.” Nate groaned, biting the inside walls of his ass cheeks. “Cum for me. I'll get you hard again...no worries.”
“God!!” Kyle wailed. His body clenched and curled in on itself than arched as his wail escalated into a scream. “FFFFuuuck!!! Naaaate!!”
Kyle jerked hard, screamed again and bit down fiercely on the blankets, his fingers gouging the bed as his face shoved against the pillow, muffling his cries – then he came with force as Nate pumped him fast, firm.
His body remained tight with tension for a few moments, shudders rippling through him, his breath puffing hard against the pillow. When some of the tension began to release him, Nate turned him over on his back. He panted erratically, his chest heaving, eyes watery, and skin glistening with sweat.
Nate slid off the bed and worked the leather pants down his legs and off his feet, then rubbed his hands back up his legs, his lips kissing his heated skin, following his hands. Kyle's member lay thick and heavy against his stomach. Nate could tell just by the look of it that it wouldn't take much to get him back to where he wanted him. And he knew just how to get him there.
Shaky breath puffed off Kyle's lips. He wiped his hand over his face and trembled as Nate's mouth moved up his inner thigh, dropping warm kisses as he crept closer to his destination.
Clutching his head, Kyle squeezed his eyes shut and groaned low, unsteady, as Nate's velvet tongue slipped over the surface of his balls then licked up the underside of his pulsing cock, grabbing up the residue of cum that seeped from the tip.
Nate moaned, savoring the taste of Kyle's love. “God, baby.” he moaned again. “You taste so good.” He dragged his tongue up over the thick head and sucked at the sensitive V groove on the underside.
“Shit!” Kyle's breath caught suddenly, his hips jerking. His fingers squeezed around the bedspread, balling the blankets in his fists. “Nate...”
Kyle's fingers slid through Nate's hair as he lifted his hips. An electric shock snapped through Nate's body. He loved the feel of Kyle's fingers combing through his hair – whether during sex or just casual cuddling. It was soothing, comforting...and turned Nate on to no ends.
♦
The soft strands of Nate's hair slipped between Kyle's fingers. He caressed the guy's head with his fingertips and moaned low, tight as Nate's lips grabbed at the head of his dick, wrapped around it then slowly sucked it into his warm, wet mouth.
“Oh fuck!” Kyle gasped, then whimpered, pressing his lips tight, suppressing a squealing cry that swelled in his throat.
Nate took him in – all the way. His mouth felt so good, like warm silk encasing his hard flesh, squeezing, sucking, stroking. Every time Nate took him in this way, he was sure he would lose his mind for real. The man knew how to push him to the brink then pull him back at the last moment, over and over again until he had Kyle screaming, begging for release. And this time was no different. He was working his magic, drawing Kyle's cock deep into his throat, stroking in perfect rhythm, sucking with just the right amount of pressure...getting Kyle harder and harder.
“Oh god, Nate.” Shudders seemed to ripple across the surface of Kyle's skin. Funny, tingling sensations were spiraling through his lower stomach and groin. He could feel his balls growing heavier as they refilled with pure liquid love for the man going down on him. He squeezed Nate's hair between his fingers and buried himself inside the guy's mouth. “Uuuhhh...fuck...”
Nate stroked faster, his amazing mouth never losing suction as it glided up and down his thickening shaft.
“Ahhhh!” Kyle choked on a cry, his head shoving back hard into the pillow. He clutched Nate's hair tighter, clenching it in his fists. “Oh fuck Nate! Please fuck me! Please fuck me now!”
A low moan vibrated in Nate's throat and shuddered through Kyle's hard flesh, then he pulled his mouth slowly up Kyle's cock, sucking firmly as he went, tearing a staggered cry from him. Nate let the plump head slip from between his lips then licked across the surface, sending another tremor through Kyle as he raised his eyes to Kyle's fevered stare. He dropped one last kiss on Kyle's cock, then backed off the bed, standing up.
Kyle lay motionless, watching as Nate slowly unfastened his black jeans then shoved them and his briefs down over his hips, down his legs to his feet, then stepped out of them. He stood before Kyle in all his luscious glory, hard as steel, and the look in his gorgeous eyes betraying his desire to fuck Kyle senseless.
Oh god, baby, come and take me, fuck me till I scream – then fuck me some more.
♦
Before Nate could move, even start to crawl back on the bed – Kyle was on his hands and knees again, his ass backed up to the edge of the bed. Fuck, Nate shuddered inwardly and stepped closer, rubbing his hands over Kyle's lovely ass cheeks. Fuck, he has the prettiest ass ever. Even for Nate, it felt weird calling a guy's ass pretty. But fuck if Kyle's wasn't.
Raising his hand to his mouth, Nate spit in his palm then rubbed it into the shaft of his dick, took more saliva and coated Kyle's entrance. Kyle's head dropped down and he groaned as Nate's fingers worked around and inside his tight hole.
“Fuck.” Kyle hissed when Nate buried one finger inside him and stroked, finding the sweet spot only seconds before Kyle yelled out and rammed his ass back against Nate's finger. “Fuck!”
Nate stroked him a few times as the guy began to move in rhythm, moaning loud, then pulled out and positioned the head of his cock at Kyle's entrance. Kyle whimpered and his body trembled – igniting the fire inside Nate, transforming it into a raging firestorm. He grabbed Kyle's hips and began to pull the guy back on him.
“Fuuuck!” Kyle cried out as Nate's thick, solid head squeezed through Kyle's tight hole, spreading him open for the rest of him. “Oh fuck! Fuck, Nate! Uhhh-Uhh! Oh god!” He dropped down on his elbows and raked his fingers over his head, wailing into the blankets.
His fingers digging into Kyle's hips, Nate pushed forward, shoving deeper inside his lover's body. “Ahhhh!!” Nate's head bent back, his eyes squeezing shut as Kyle's hot, oh-so-tight caverns engulfed his hard flesh, clenching him, pulling him deeper. “Fuuuck! Baby! Oh fuck, you're so tight, Kyle...oh god...you feel so good!”
Kyle's arms shook as he pushed back up on his hands and shoved his ass back against Nate. “Fuck me, baby.” He trembled. “Fuck me so hard, so good.”
Nate clutched his hips and planted one foot on the bed as he began to thrust into Kyle's body with strong, deep strokes. “Oh fuck.” He shuddered, gouging Kyle's flesh with his nails. He leaned into it, driving in harder.
“Oh Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Kyle's breath burst out of him sharp and ragged and broken. “Oh god! Nate! Nate! Oh fuck, baby! Fuck me!” His words broke and shattered, leaving him with only ragged sounds - “Uuuhhh!! Uhh-Uhh-Ahhhh!!”
Nate fucked him harder, slamming in deeper, his jaw clenched and growls and grunts exploding out of him. “Fuck!” He shouted suddenly and pushed Kyle down on his stomach, landing on top of him, his body glued tight to Kyle's as he fucked him with urgency and desperation. His arms snaked up under Kyle's chest and locked the guy in as Nate shoved his face against the back of his head, driving into him.
Arching back against him, Kyle's cries turned ragged, his breath glitching and breaking, exploding out of him harder, faster, shorter. Nate clutched his chest, his fingertips gouging into his damp skin, raking across the scar that ran down the center between his pecs. Kyle's heart pounded erratically against Nate's palms, beating hard against his chest wall – and fear suddenly clawed at Nate's mind, halting him in an instant.
What the fuck are you doing?!
Nate shuddered against Kyle's damp, trembling body, his own heart going crazy inside his chest.
Promise me you'll be careful.
“Fuck.” Nate choked and pressed his lips to the back of Kyle's damp neck.
“What...” Kyle panted, shaking. “What...what's wrong? Don't stop, Nate...not now.”
His eyes stinging – whether from fear, frustration or both, he didn't know – Nate pushed himself up off Kyle and sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. His body screamed to be back inside Kyle, inside his heat, his tightness.
Fuck! How could you be so irresponsible?
Kyle turned over and sat up behind him. “Nate?” He touched his back then scooted closer and kissed his shoulder, his breath shaky. “Nate, what's wrong? Why...why did you stop?”
“I promised I wouldn't let this get out of hand.” He whispered tightly. “I swore I could keep it under control.”
Kyle frowned and pressed his lips to Nate's damp shoulder. “What're you talking about? Promised who?”
Straightening up, Nate cleared his throat. “The doc.” He said. “I promised we wouldn't...” he let the words roll away.
“You promised Greyson that...you wouldn't fuck me hard?” Nate could feel the smirk stretching Kyle's lips against Nate's skin.
Nate groaned and dropped his head back into his hands. “Something like that.”
Kyle cleared his throat, stifling a chuckle. “Well...that must have been an uncomfortable conversation.”
“A little bit.” Nate admitted tightly. Then added, “He doesn't think we should be taking chances just yet. He wants you fully recovered.” Nate twisted his head and looked at him. “And after your little performance earlier...we shouldn't be pushing our luck.” He shook his head. “It's too much...all at once.”
“I feel fine.” Kyle murmured, kissing Nate's neck. “Being sexually repressed puts more stress on the heart, than just doing it.”
Nate chuckled and shook his head. “The wisdom of Kyle.”
Kyle hugged his neck and smirked. “It's always got me through.”
“No.” Nate turned around and grabbed Kyle's face, kissing his mouth. “I always got you through – when your wisdom landed you in a jam.”
Shrugging, Kyle grinned and flopped back down on the bed, tucking his arms under his head. “Could have been that way, I don't remember.” He tapped the side of his head. “I think they removed selective parts of my memory with the tumor.”
“How convenient for you.” Nate muttered, his lips twitching. “Whenever you're wrong about something – you can just say you don't remember.”
Kyle chuckled. “Works for me.”
Shaking his head again, Nate just stared at the guy gazing back at him, his lips curved in that sexy smirk, his eyes glowing. The image of him there thrust Nate back to that night at the cabin. So many misconceptions, misunderstandings. He'd had no idea how close he'd been to losing Kyle forever. Had he known...it would have crippled him.
“Hey.” Kyle snapped his fingers.
Nate blinked then cleared his throat. “Huh?”
“Looked like you were a million miles away.” His lips stretched and twisted. “Not thinking about someone else, are ya? After all I did for you tonight?”
Laughing softly, Nate shook his head. “All you did for me.”
Kyle nudged him with his knee. “You said you loved it...or was that just for show? To appease the audience?”
A flicker of uncertainty shadowed Kyle's eyes for a brief moment then vanished. Nate grinned and leaned over, kissing Kyle's lips softly. “I did love it. Didn't know you could be that sexy.”
“I did.” Kyle smirked, then laughed when Nate rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation.
Nate scooted up on the bed beside Kyle, gripped his hips and pulled his ass back against him.
A soft moan slipped up Kyle's throat when Nate began to press in between his warm cheeks. “I thought we weren't supposed to do this?” His breath had already quickened a notch or so and Nate could feel him pushing back to him.
“We're not supposed to go at it wild and crazy.” Nate's own breath was quickly growing ragged as he nudged Kyle's tight entrance then began to push inside the guy. “But if we keep it under control...there should be no harm.”
Kyle shuddered as Nate pushed deeper inside him. “And is that the wisdom of Nate?” he smirked, his voice unsteady.
“Mmm-Hmm.” Nate breathed out low, uneven, and kissed Kyle's ear. “And don't argue with it.”
“As long as it allows you to fuck me.” Kyle moaned. “I won't argue.”
Sliding his arms around Kyle's stomach, Nate pulled him back on him tighter, burying himself deeper inside his body.
“Oh fuck!” Kyle gasped and tensed as Nate's arms squeezed around him and he gave one strong thrust, sinking in all the way.
“Oh my god.” Nate groaned sharply. He worked his hips, grinding, searching for that special place inside Kyle.
“Ahh! Fuck!” Kyle yelled out, arching back hard against Nate, his nails digging at his arms. “Oh fuck, baby! That's the spot! Right there! Stay right there – and just fuck me!”
Nate withdrew one arm from around his waist and wrapped it around his neck, turning Kyle's face around to his. His kissed him, again and again, as he thrust his cock into his lover over and over. He slid his hand under Kyle's upper leg and lifted it as he began to thrust into him a bit harder, forcing himself to remain in control and not just cut loose on the guy again.
“Ahh fuck! Nate!” The back of Kyle's head pressed hard against Nate's shoulder. Nate rubbed his hand up the man's throat, cupping him firmly but not choking him. His thumb caressed up over the curve of Kyle's jaw then turned his face again to Nate's. A deep moan swelled inside Kyle as Nate claimed his mouth and kissed him with passion.
Kyle's arm curled back up and around Nate's neck, pulling him down deeper into the kiss.
“I love you.” Nate broke the kiss with a hard gasp then grabbed Kyle's lips again. “I love you, baby.”
A choking whimper shuddered out of Kyle as his arm squeezed Nate's neck. “I love you, Nate.”
Nate released his leg and wrapped his arm around his body, hugging him tight, feeling his own orgasm swelling fast. “Fuck! Kyle.” He gasped. “I'm almost there.” His hand wrapped around Kyle's cock and he stroked him with urgency as he fucked him a little harder. “Come with me, baby.” Nate panted, his breath breaking and crashing against Kyle's lips. “I want to feel you come again.”
His body moving in rhythm with Nate's, Kyle's breath cut out and grew short, sharp, ragged. “Oh fu..Oh fu..! Gaahhh!!” Kyle twisted and arched, Nate's hand squeezing harder and pumping faster. “I'm gonna...fu…fuuuuck! Nate!”
“Fuuuck! Kyle!” Nate yelled, his orgasm clenching his entire body. He bit down on Kyle's shoulder as he felt the man spasm hard and unload just moments before Nate burst inside him. “Fuck! Oh god! Oh fuu...fuck! Yes!” Nate thrust at him erratically, emptying himself until there was nothing left to pour into him.
He squeezed Kyle's body tight as the orgasm continued to grip him then finally released its hold, and he relaxed, sagging against Kyle's damp, hot body. Kyle trembled in his arms, his breathing unsteady, chest heaving.
“Are you okay?” Nate's voice shook. He kissed Kyle's shoulder, his neck, his ear. “Are you okay, baby?”
Kyle tried to speak but nothing came out. He nodded unsteadily and pressed back against Nate's damp body. “I love you.” he shuddered, emotion tightening his words. “I love you so much, Nate.” He swallowed thickly and ran his trembling hands down Nate's forearms, his fingertips tracing the scars. “I'm...I'm glad your plan failed.” He turned over and buried his face in Nate's throat and Nate felt his warm tears dripping onto his skin. “I couldn't have lived this life without you. I would rather be dead... than to be here alone.”
“So would I.” Nate choked softly and hugged him tight. “But I had to try to save you. I couldn't just...watch you die.”
Kyle raised his head, his face streaked with tears. He rubbed his thumb across Nate's cheek, wiping away his tears. “I would've done the same for you.”
Pressure tightened Nate's chest, his throat squeezing. “I know.” He kissed his lips. “I know, baby.”
Kyle cuddled closer and pressed his face to Nate's throat and closed his eyes. Nate rubbed his hand up the back of Kyle's warm head, his fingers skipping through the man's short layer of hair.
“Will you stay awake until I fall asleep?” Kyle mumbled, sleep already coaxing him away.
Nate smiled and kissed his head softly, then murmured against his hair. “I always do, baby.”
“A Little Piece Of Heaven On Earth”
♦
“S O, doc? Am I gonna live?”
Kyle slid off the exam table and pulled on his shirt.
“Looks that way.” Dr. Hollis removed the stethoscope, folded it and stuffed it in the large side pocket of his white lab coat.
“So everything is good?” Greyson and Janice stood off to the side with Nate, whose hands were stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans as he leaned against the wall and stared at the floor, casting occasional glances towards Kyle and Dr. Hollis.
Though these checkups were necessary, Nate hated being here. Just the smell of a clinic or hospital now instantly caused his stomach to pinch with nausea and his chest tighten with anxiety. And with every visit – there lingered the possibility that they would find something wrong.
Hollis took hold of Kyle's wrist and pressed two fingers against it firmly, checking his watch. “Pulse is a bit fast.” he said. “But nothing to be alarmed about.”
Nothing to be alarmed about. Nate still found himself tensing up. Had they pushed things too far the other night up at his place? First Kyle's little show, and then...had it all attributed to his current quickened heart rate now?
Kyle glanced at them all as he tucked his t-shirt into his jeans. “If y'all wanted to watch me take off my clothes.” He smirked. “At least give me a stage and a pole, and let me undress in style.”
Nate's head lifted and Kyle winked at him.
“Kyle James Haney!” Janice scolded.
Biting his lips between his teeth, Nate struggled to suppress the grin fighting for dominance. He tugged one hand from his pocket and quickly rubbed it over his mouth as he choked on a laugh then cleared his throat to disguise it.
Didn't work.
Janice looked at him a bit sharply as Kyle started laughing. What little control Nate had, abandoned him instantly and a hard laugh burst out of him. He ducked as Janice's hand came up as if to smack him.
“Hey, the boy knows what he likes.” Kyle grinned, and both Greyson and Dr. Hollis chuckled.
Rolling her eyes, Janice shook her head. “Men.” Which only got her more laughs. “You're all incorrigible.”
Nate grinned. “Better use smaller words if you want your son to understand.”
Kyle bit back a 'Fuck you' just seconds before it leaped off his tongue. He bit his lip as the words pressed to get out. Instead, his hand shot up and flipped off Nate.
“Did you see that, mom?” Nate said. “Kyle just gave me the finger.”
“Tattle tale.” Kyle sneered.
“If you want to keep that finger, buddy boy.” Janice said. “You'll not use it like that again.”
Kyle scowled at Nate as the guy smirked backed. “Yes ma'am.” He mumbled then shot Nate a dark, somewhat evil smile that warned – Just wait till we're alone.
Nate raised an eyebrow and smirked. Bring it on, baby.
When the exam was officially over, Greyson and Janice hung back to speak with Hollis while Nate and Kyle left the exam room.
Kyle punched Nate in the arm, without warning, as soon as they stepped into the hall.
“Hey!” Nate laughed and grabbed his arm. “What was that for?”
“Did you see that, mom? Kyle just gave me the finger.” Kyle mimicked, his lips twisted. “You're such a fucking snitch.”
Nate grinned. “You were being mean to me.”
“Oh fuck.” Kyle laughed and shoved his shoulder against Nate's, rolling his eyes. “What a sissy.”
“Yeah.” Nate chuffed. “I'm the sissy in this relationship.”
“About time you finally admitted it.” Kyle smirked then laughed when Nate's arm shot out and grabbed him around the neck, dragging him against him, locking him in tight.
“What was that?” Nate growled in his ear.
“You heard me.” Kyle gripped Nate's arm, grinning. “Now let me go, I gotta take a piss.”
Nate released him without argument and followed him to the restroom door. Halting as he grabbed the door handle, Kyle looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. “I can do this on my own.” he said, then his eyes swept over Nate's body. “Unless you want to hold it for me.”
“Just get the fuck in there.” Nate reached around him and shoved open the door. “The last time I let you go to the restroom alone, you ended up behind a microphone, embarrassing the shit out of me.”
Kyle chuckled as they both stepped into the small restroom. “Yeah, whatever. You were so turned on, you were ready to fuck me right there in front of everyone.”
The door closed behind them and Nate locked it. “Go on, do your business.”
Kyle went to the toilet and stood with his back to Nate as he unfastened his jeans. He glanced over his shoulder and grinned. “No peeking.”
“Yeah.” Nate shook his head. “As if there's anything to see.” He grinned and stared across the small room at his reflection in the mirror above the sink.
Kyle did his business then fastened up his pants. “Right.” He smirked and turned to the sink. “That's why you were wailing like a banshee when I was fucking you up at the cabin.”
“Oh, I see. So you remember that.” Nate snorted. “What happened to this memory loss of yours?”
“It comes and goes.” Kyle washed his hands, smirking at Nate in the mirror. He dried his hands then turned around and leaned against the sink, hands gripping the edge of the porcelain lightly. His gaze slowly moved over Nate's body.
“We're not gonna fuck in the bathroom.” Nate said, his lips twisting with a smile.
“What?” Kyle grinned. “I didn't say anything about fucking. Jeez, man. Is that all you think about?”
Nate hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans and just smiled at Kyle. The guy continued to survey him, and his eyes were like fingertips caressing Nate's skin, causing a low throb to settle in his crotch.
“But since you brought it up...” Kyle shoved away from the sink and stepped over closer to Nate and slipped his hands under Nate's shirt, rubbing slowly up his stomach and chest.
A sharp breath caught in Nate's throat, then his head pressed back against the door when Kyle's hands moved around behind him and down lower, working beneath the waistband of his jeans, delving inside his pants to grip handfuls of hard ass cheeks.
“Mmm!” Nate pressed his lips tight as Kyle's fingertips played through the crack of his ass.
“You sure you don't wanna fuck?” Kyle's mouth was on Nate's throat, his hot breath puffing against his skin. He rubbed his crotch against Nate's. “'Cause something is telling me you do.”
A tight groan rolled up Nate's throat. He gripped Kyle's arms, sliding his hands up to the man's shoulders. His fingers gripped the guy's shirt and he ached to rip it off him, but Hollis' words raced around inside his head.
Pulse is a bit fast.
His palms flattened on Kyle's shoulders, tightening his hold. “Come on, man.” Nate shuddered, his breath uneven. “You heard Hollis.”
“I heard him say there was nothing to be alarmed about.” Kyle's warm, wet tongue slithered up over Nate's Adam's apple, his breath hot. “Since that night back up at your place...you've practically cut me off. You don't want me to have another meltdown now do ya?” Kyle grinned against his throat then moved up and nipped his earlobe.
“It's only been a few days.” Nate groaned again. In truth, those few days had been torture for him too. But he had to be the one to set the limitations, 'cause Kyle sure as hell wouldn't. The guy didn't seem to get it that they couldn't go full boar ahead, day after day, without the risk of a setback. Still, he ducked his head, sought out Kyle's mouth and kissed him hard. His hands slid up the sides of Kyle's head and gripped him firm as his tongue thrust in the guy's mouth.
Kyle whimpered and shoved against him harder, his crotch like steel against Nate's own. His fingers squeezed and gouged Nate's ass cheeks, pulling their bodies tighter together. He gasped into Nate's mouth. “I want you so fucking bad.” He trembled, his teeth grabbing at Nate's lower lip. His hands moved around to the front of Nate's jeans and shoved down inside.
“Fuck!” Nate hissed between clamped teeth, his breath catching and sticking in his suddenly tight throat. He sucked in a sharp breath and pressed back against the door as Kyle's hands rubbed and worked at his stiff flesh. He bit back a cry that threatened to be far too audible, and swallowed hard, forcing it back down his throat.
Kyle's teeth nipped at a rigid nipple through Nate's t-shirt, causing the guy to jerk hard, his back smacking against the door.
“Fuck, Kyle.” Nate was beginning to shake with need. If he didn't put a stop to it now, they would end up going at it right here in the bathroom. He squeezed Kyle's shoulders but for a moment didn't have the will to shove the guy back and force him to take his hands away.
The man was slowly making his way down Nate's body, his mouth grabbing at Nate's skin through his t-shirt. There was no guessing where he was headed, and the idea of his being there extracted an agonized whimper out of Nate.
Kyle withdrew his hands and worked at the snap of Nate's jeans, his breath puffing out of him, ragged and scratchy.
“Kyle.” Nate choked on his need then covered Kyle's hands with his own, halting their progress. “Come on, baby...stop.”
“That isn't what you really want.” Kyle's voice shuddered out of him thick and raspy.
“No...it isn't.” Nate admitted, still gripping Kyle's hands. “But...we have to stop.”
Kyle's mouth was suddenly on his throat, biting his tender skin, sucking his flesh. “I want you in my mouth, baby.” he whispered, his desperation and intense hunger clawing at Nate's mind, heart and body. “I've been fantasizing about sucking you all morning.” His tongue flicked out and licked the curve of Nate's jaw. “Just a little taste?” He grinned. “A couple licks?”
Laughing, Nate shook his head. “Like you could give me just a couple licks then walk away.”
“Don't think I have the will power?”
“No, I don't.” Nate chuckled. “But that's not the point – I wouldn't let you walk away once you touch me with that mouth.”
Kyle smirked and grabbed Nate's skin in his teeth. “So let's get to it.”
With a mind of their own, Nate's hands were suddenly on Kyle's ass, gripping hard. “Stop fucking tempting me.” Nate groaned. “It isn't good for my soul.”
“What soul?” Kyle bit him just hard enough to tear a short, sharp gasp from Nate.
“Fuck.” Nate squeezed Kyle's ass fiercely and laughed unsteadily. “Would you stop? Your mom and Greyson are gonna be back out at the car in a few minutes, wondering where we are.”
The guy's warm lips moved up the side of Nate's neck and played with his earlobe. “So let them wonder.” he murmured. “We're big boys. We don't need constant supervision.”
A somewhat strained chuckle rattled in Nate's throat. “You sure about that?”
Kyle grinned and nipped his earlobe, then his hands were working at the snap of the jeans again. Nate released Kyle's ass and covered his hands again, though no longer trying to halt the man's progression – but rather helping him further along.
♦
“Well, where are they?”
Janice glanced around the parking lot as she and Greyson approached the car.
“Must've taken a detour.” Greyson said. He didn't really want to know what their detour consisted of. The rules he'd attempted to lay down with those boys were pretty much kaput. Nate at least attempted to adhere to them, tried to rein Kyle in as much as possible. Bur Greyson wasn't really worried. The rules were just precautionary measures. Kyle was recovering fast and he didn't foresee any setbacks – even with the boys breaking the rules.
A low rumble rolled across the sky in the distant. Rain clouds lingered on the horizon. Sometimes Greyson wished he lived where it actually snowed at Christmas. Something about snow seemed to clean the air, make it more breathable.
Christmas used to be such a fun time for him and Ian. The boy loved it because he received twice the amount of gifts, with his birthday being December twenty-sixth. Kind of like an extended Christmas.
His heart squeezed. Last year he had spent Christmas at the hospital, in Ian's room, coming to terms with the reality that he would never share another Christmas – or any holiday – with his son ever again. The dread of this Christmas had been to the extent that he'd begun to feel physically nauseous. Another holiday sitting in a cold room, holding his son's hand, feeling the life already gone from him but not being able to let go.
But then Kyle had come into his care. And with him came Janice, and Nate.
Greyson gazed at the woman beside him. Her eyes scanned the parking lot and the hospital entrance, keeping a lookout for the boys. A light stinging burned his eyes. His ultimate sacrifice may have saved Kyle's life, and in turn Janice's and Nate's as well. But they had returned his life to him as well. Another holiday season in a cold hospital room, then alone in an empty house void of life – it was Greyson's own personal hell on earth. They had lifted him out of that hell, given him a way to say goodbye to Ian and find peace in letting him go, and then taken him into their lives as if it were the most natural place for him to be.
“Are you okay?”
Greyson blinked. Janice was staring at him, concern in her eyes.
He cleared his throat then smiled. “Yeah.” he said quietly then leaned down and kissed her softly. “I am.”
♦
The front of his jeans tugged down, exposing his hard bulge straining against his white briefs. Kyle was on his knees before Nate, his mouth grabbing and sucking his pulsing member through the thin cotton fabric.
“Shit.” A hard exhalation of breath burst out of Nate and he clutched Kyle's head, his fingertips playing through the short skiff of soft hair.
Kyle grabbed a mouthful of his cotton clad flesh and sucked hard. Nate jerked hard, and pressed back against the door, panting.
“Fuck, Kyle.” He groaned tightly between clenched teeth.
Smiling, withdrawing, Kyle smirked. “You can fuck Kyle later.”
“Shut up.” A shuddering laugh tumbled off Nate's lips. “And put that mouth to better use.”
“Yessir.” Kyle's lips twitched. His fingertips hooked the band of Nate's briefs and slowly dragged them down, releasing his raging erection. Kyle smiled. “Hmm...so you are glad to see me.”
A staggered chuckled caught in Nate's throat. “Shut the fuck up and blow me.”
Kyle smirked and his tongue darted out, grabbing licks of hard flesh.
His fingers digging into Kyle's scalp, Nate sucked in a sharp breath then squeezed his eye shut. “We ain't got all fucking day, man.” He gasped. “Just get to it-”
Hot, wet heat suddenly engulfed him, squeezing, sucking.
“Fuck!” Nate hissed loud, his hips bucking a little as Kyle took in his full length. “Oh ffffuuuck!”
His hands cupped the back of Kyle's head firmly as he began to thrust with the man's stroking mouth. Nate's eyes remained closed tight, his head tilted back, as they moved in perfect rhythm.
“Oh my god.” Nate shuddered, voice trembling. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good.” A shaky laugh escaped him. “I don't want to know where you learned to be so good at this...I'll just assume...you're a natural.”
The thought of Kyle's mouth on another guy...Nate forced the idea from his mind. He'd told Nate back at the cabin that he'd never fucked another man. But then, sucking wasn't fucking.
Are you serious, man? You're finding things to worry about while you're buried balls deep in his throat? Really?!
Nate groaned and released a hard breath, letting the unpleasant thought flush from his mind, and focused on the heavenly sensation of Kyle's hot, silky wet mouth gliding up and down his shaft.
Oh my god, Kyle – I wanna fuck you so bad right now.
His eyes opened slowly as his chest hitched with uneven breaths. The mirror above the sink was just low enough that he could watch Kyle sucking him. The corner of his mouth tugged upward at the sight of Kyle on his knees, delivering his amazing blow job, began heating Nate up even more.
“You look so fucking hot in the mirror, baby.” Nate groaned.
Kyle pulled up off Nate's cock slowly. “You know what would be even hotter?” He panted softly and smiled up at Nate. “If you fucked me in front of that mirror.”
Nate's head dropped back and hit the door, a moaning chuckle sticking in the back of his throat. “Fuck. We're already taking too much time as it is.”
Standing slowly to his feet, Kyle pressed his body against Nate, his lips touching Nate's mouth. “So let's not waste any more time...and start getting it on.”
“You're so romantic.” Nate chuckled.
Kyle grinned and grabbed Nate's hips, dragging him over to the sink. “What do you want from me, baby?” Kyle smirked. “Want me to whisper sweet nothings in your ear?”
“Maybe I do.” Nate smiled.
“Fine.” Kyle touched his lips to Nate's ear, and whispered, “You're so beautiful, baby. Come on and make sweet, sweet love to me...so good.”
A funny tickle skittered down through Nate's body. He knew Kyle was just fucking around, but his soft voice...and tender words...had a very powerful, unexpected effect on him. When Kyle drew back and looked at him, there was a shimmer of seriousness in his beautiful eyes that suggested maybe it wasn't entirely just goofing off.
“God, that was good.” Nate murmured, then smiled and kissed him with a softer passion than was typical for them. Kyle didn't fight it or try to turn it into raw lust. He shuddered against Nate, kissing him back with as much tenderness as Nate was giving him.
Nate's hands dropped to the front of Kyle's jeans and worked them open as they continued to kiss. He broke away only when he turned Kyle around. The guy gripped the edge of the sink and stared into the mirror, watching Nate's reflection as he shoved Kyle's pants down over his hips and lower, then rubbed his hands on Kyle's beautiful ass.
“Fuck, baby.” Nate groaned and kissed Kyle's shoulder. “I can't get enough of your sweet ass.”
A strained moan formed in Kyle's throat. “Prove it.” His eyes were heavy with desire and need as he stared at Nate's image in the mirror, his body tense, eager, inviting.
Nate squeezed his ass cheeks with great pleasure and pressed his mouth against the back of his head, gazing over the top of his scalp and meeting Kyle's heated stare in the mirror, and moaned low. “If we had more time...I'd give you a tonguing that would make you wail like a banshee.”
The heat in Kyle's eye's burned hotter. “Hold onto that thought...we'll explore it later tonight.”
Nate kissed his head. “Yes we will.” he murmured. He gripped Kyle's ass cheeks tighter and spread him open as Kyle arched his back a little, welcoming him to enter. Nate held his gaze in the mirror as he slowly began to squeeze inside him.
“Fuck!” Kyle's body jerked and he gasped, biting his lip hard, his eyes squinting just a little as Nate's thickness made room for itself.
Nate's throat tightened as did his face, his jaw clenching a bit as he pushed himself deeper inside Kyle's heavenly body. His fingers dug into the guy's hips, pulling him back on him.
“Shit!” The single word burst out of him on a sharp exhale of breath.
“Come on.” Kyle whimpered. His knuckles whitened as he gripped the edge of the porcelain. “Give it to me, baby.”
A slow, deep breath sucked down Nate's throat as he forced his stiff cock the rest of the way in. “Oh my god! Fuck! Baby, your ass is so tight.”
Kyle drew in deep breaths, his voice unsteady. “Then...loosen me up a bit.”
Their eyes locked in the mirror. Nate's grip on Kyle's hips squeezed and he thrust into him, slowly a few times, then with more urgency.
“Oh fuck!” Kyle moaned. His back arched and head tilted back somewhat but he kept his eyes on the mirror, on Nate's reflection. “Oh god, Nate! Fuck me, baby! Give it to me deep! Hard!”
Nate released his hips and gripped the edge of the sink beside Kyle's hands. He drove himself into the man, hard, deep – as requested. His teeth grabbed at the tiny hairs on the nape of Kyle's neck, his hot breath puffing erratically against the back of his head.
“Fuck! Fuck...Yes! Yes!”
Kyle's voice swelled, growing louder. Nate pressed his mouth to the back of his head, his lips pressed tight, jaw clenched to hold back his own cries. His arm snaked around Kyle's neck and his hand covered the guy's mouth. “Shhh.” he shuddered, struggling to control his own volume as he fucked Kyle harder. “Gotta...keep quiet.”
A tight whimper rose in Kyle's throat as if to say – Are you fucking kidding me?! His hot breath burst against Nate's palm and his eyes burned into Nate's in the mirror.
“Fuuck.” Nate gasped hard and bit Kyle's shoulder, stifling the scream that begged to be released. He shoved up tight against Kyle's ass, burying himself even deeper inside the guy, inciting a cry in the man even his hand could barely conceal. “Oh fuck, Kyle...I wanna cum inside you...it feels so good to cum inside you, baby.”
He rocked his hips against Kyle's amazing ass, grunting, panting, feeling the burn in his testicles, the tightness. Tears stung his eyes from sheer erotic pleasure.
Kyle ripped his mouth away from Nate's hand, gasping hard. “Jerk me off, Nate.” He was nearly begging him, his voice tight, strained, his eyes glossy. “Please, baby...I love it when you stroke me when you're fucking me.”
The words were barely out of Kyle's mouth before Nate's strong hand wrapped around his stiff cock and began to stroke, squeezing just hard enough to make the man whimper and choke on his cries.
“No screaming.” Nate puffed against his ear. “Keep it down, ok, babe?”
Kyle bit his lips between his teeth, his face tight and pinched, eyes squinting hard as he moved with Nate's body and hand rhythm. A sudden, forceful breath exploded out of him and he gasped for air. “Fuck...fuck, Nate! Oh god...I'm gonna cum...I'm gonna fucking cum!”
His hand stroking faster, harder, Nate fucked him with more urgency, struggling not to scream out his own ecstasy as the orgasm gripped him. His free hand clutched Kyle's chest and his fingers gouged through the guy's t-shirt into his damp, fevered flesh as he bit down on his shoulder and squealed. He came with enough force to make his head swim and vision spackle with black spots.
Kyle's head snapped down and to the side, and he bit his own arm to stifle the scream that erupted up his throat as he came hard, shots of cum squirting onto the tiled floor. Nate squeezed and stroked him until the tension in Kyle's body, and his own, began to recede.
Hard, broken gasps puffed out of Kyle as he gripped the sink, his legs trembling. Nate leaned against his back, scalding breath beating against Kyle's neck. His legs felt useless, like hot rubber. He backed off Kyle, barely managed to get himself stuffed back in his jeans before his legs gave out and he dropped hard to the floor. He rubbed his hand over his face and pressed his back to the wall, a shaky laugh tripping up his throat.
Kyle's hands shook as he secured himself inside his pants then sagged down next to Nate, eyes heavy, breath ragged. He grinned and reached over, grabbing Nate's hand. He raised it to his lips and kissed the back, then the center of his palm. “You have beautiful hands, baby.” he breathed unsteadily.
Staggered laughs jumped off Nate's lips and his head dropped back hard against the wall, his eyes closing. “Fuck.” His head rolled to the side and he opened his eyes again, looking at Kyle. His gaze drifted down to Kyle's arm where prominent teeth marks indented his bicep. He chuckled and raced his fingertips over the indentions. “Shit, baby.” Nate panted softly. “As hard as you came...I was sure you'd draw blood.”
Kyle grinned and leaned up, kissed Nate's mouth then groaned, “You have that effect on me.” He kissed him again and murmured, “I'm so fucking in love with you...did you know that?”
Pressure squeezed Nate's heart and he leaned into Kyle's kiss. “I'm starting to get a clue.”
Kyle's lips lingered on Nate's mouth. “Promise it'll always be like this with us.”
A soft smile curved Nate's lips and he kissed Kyle reassuringly. “I promise.”
♦
When the boys came out of the clinic, Greyson and Janice were waiting inside the car, the radio playing low. They drew back from a light kiss, a bit startled, when the back door opened suddenly and Kyle scooted in. Nate followed then closed the door.
Neither Greyson nor Janice asked them where they'd been or what had taken them so long. The heaviness in both boys' eyes told Greyson all he needed to know. Details weren't necessary – or wanted.
Nate caught his eye in the rear view mirror. A faint smirk played across the young man's lips. Greyson smiled them pressed his lips tight as he started the car. What was he going to do – scold them?
Images of Kyle laying on the bare edge of death in the hospital bed filled his head. Memories of Nate's anguish, his attempt on his own life to save Kyle's...they all crashed in on him. He glanced in the rear view mirror again as Kyle laid his head on Nate's shoulder and closed his eyes from what appeared to be sheer exhaustion. Nate slid his arm around the boy's shoulder, drew him closer and kissed his hair, then rested his cheek on Kyle's head as his own eyes drifted close.
The boys deserved this time together. Every second of love they now shared had been hard earned. They had waded through the trenches of hell to secure their little piece of heaven on earth. How could he deny them what was rightfully theirs?
Greyson glanced at Janice as she looked at the two young men already falling asleep against each other. She met his gaze and smiled warmly then covered his hand with hers. “Our boys.” Tears shimmered. “Aren't they the cutest ever?”
Our boys.
Greyson smiled, his heart swelling. “Indeed they are.”
“To Have And To Hold”
♦
T H E knife chopped through the vegetables skillfully, Nate's hands guiding it like a seasoned Chef. Kyle stood on the opposite side of the kitchen island chopping celery in a much less skilled manner. His knife faltered as he watched Nate, the man's eyes intent on what he was doing.
Aren't we domestic? Kyle thought with a faint smirk. He continued to watch Nate as the man seemed oblivious to Kyle's observation. His throat suddenly squeezed as a pressure pushed against the inside wall of his chest. I want to marry you. I want to be your husband. God, baby, I want it so bad.
His gaze settled on Nate's left hand as the man quickly, carefully grabbed the raw vegetables and guided them under the blade. He had yet to wear the ring Kyle had left for him. They hadn't even mentioned it. But though he said nothing, Kyle had noticed almost from the moment he'd awakened in the hospital.
A nagging anxiety pinched his gut whenever he thought about it. There was no doubt in him that Nate loved him. The man hadn't hesitated to prove that time and again. But what if...
Kyle resisted the thought, but it shoved its way in regardless.
What if he doesn't want to get married?
“You gonna finish up that stock anytime in this century?”
“Huh?” Kyle blinked. Nate was staring at him, his mouth corked at the right corner. Nate raised an eyebrow and looked at the half chopped celery stock on the cutting board before Kyle. “Oh.” Kyle cleared his throat then smirked. “Well we can't all be chefs, smart ass.”
Nate shrugged. “True.” A smug, self-satisfied grin graced his lips.
“Why do you know how to cook so good, and I don't?”
Chuckling, Nate shrugged again. “Self-preservation.” he said. “I don't have a mommy to do all my stuff for me.”
Kyle's lips quirked. “My mommy loves me.” he told him with his own level of smugness. “She likes doing things for me.”
Snorting, Nate shook his head. “Well, don't think I'm gonna take over for her. Your lazy ass can do for yourself.”
“Really?” A mock whine entered Kyle's voice. “You won't do for me?”
Nate grinned and shook his head again as he scooped the chopped vegetable into a wooden bowl. “Nope. Time little Kyle grew up and learned to take care of himself.”
Abandoning the half chopped celery, Kyle moved around the end of the island and stood behind Nate, his fingertips playing up the man's back. Nate laughed and squirmed.
“What the fuck you doing?” he chuckled. “Get back to work.”
“You say you won't do for me?”
“That's right.” Nate said matter-of-factly.
Kyle grinned and leaned closer, his mouth touching the back of Nate's neck. “But will you still do me?”
“Fuck.” Nate laughed and shrugged Kyle off him. “Shut up and get back to chopping.”
“I'd rather do something else that ends with -ing.” Kyle moved back in and pressed his body to Nate's, then thrust his hips against the guy's ass. “Starts with ffff-”
“Get off me.” Nate laughed and shoved him back. “Do you ever shift out of fuck mode?”
“Uh-uh.” Kyle admitted. “And you know me...I'll moan and whine till I get what I want.”
“Yeah, I've always known that about you.” Nate muttered, smirking. “Spoiled little shit. Clearly your mama didn't bust your ass nearly enough.”
A dark, twisted smile stretched across Kyle's lips and he once again stepped in closer to Nate. He propped his chin on Nate's shoulder and murmured, “I guess it's up to you now to bust my ass.” His lips twitched. “I'm a hard learner though...gotta bust it real hard if you hope to pound the lesson into me.”
“Oh my god.” Nate rolled his eyes and shook his head, short laughs erupting forth. Kyle grinned then chuckled, his chin still resting on Nate's shoulder.
“Come on, big daddy.” he urged. “Make a good boy out of me.”
“Oh fuck.” Nate smiled. “That train has long since left the station.” He twisted his head quickly, unexpectedly, and kissed Kyle's lips. “'Fraid you're hopeless, little boy.”
Kyle's hand slid down over Nate's ass and squeezed firmly. “You're not even gonna try to reform me?”
Chucking low, Nate shook his head slowly. “We're not going there, Kyle.”
“Right.” Kyle kneaded his fingers into Nate's ass cheek. “That's what you said the other day in the bathroom, at the clinic.”
A barely controlled breath stuttered in Nate's throat. “Yeah, well.” A slight roughness thickened his voice that never failed to turn Kyle on. It was that telltale sign that Kyle was getting to him. “Maybe it's about time you don't get every little thing you want.”
Kyle grinned and slid his chin across Nate's shoulder and kissed his ear. “Give yourself some credit, baby.” he murmured. “What I want isn't so little.”
That sweet, sought for tension began to tighten Nate's body as his ass cheek flexed beneath Kyle's hand. Leaning against the man, he could feel his breath quicken as his chest rose and fell a little faster. Come on, baby...just say yes. Do me – right here in the kitchen.
♦
Tension knotted his throat as well as other, lower regions. Nate swallowed with effort then cleared his throat. “I have to pick up your mom and Greyson at the airport in less than an hour.”
Kyle's warm breath sifted against his ear, causing a prickling sensation to fizzle through his scalp. “Well it isn't like we need that much time.” Kyle grinned. “Neither one of us can hold our wad for that long.”
“Oh...god.” Nate's face twisted with a grimace. “Get off me, man.” He pushed Kyle away, laughing. “You just have a special way with words, don't you? It's a damn good thing you're not straight, you'd never get laid. Girls like their men to be a little more eloquent.”
Kyle chuckled low. “How would you know?”
“I watch tv.” Nate smirked.
“Well there's a reliable source.”
Nate smiled. “Anyway.” he said. “I have to leave in about fifteen minutes if I want to get to the airport on time.”
“What? I don't get to go with you?” Kyle backed off and leaned against the edge of the counter.
“No.” Nate looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. “I did most of dinner preparation – you get to stay home and clean up.”
Kyle's head dropped back as he groaned low.
“And you better do a good job.” Nate told him. “Spic-n-span clean.”
Lifting his head, Kyle smiled. “And if I don't...you gonna whip my ass?” He wriggled his eyebrows, his smile stretching into a grin.
“No.” Nate rolled his eyes and chuckled. “I will deny you.”
“Ouch.” Kyle hissed low, his lips twisting. “I was really hoping for a good spanking.”
“Fuck.” Nate laughed and shook his head. “God must have a seriously twisted sense of humor.”
Kyle smirked. “Why?”
Stepping close to Kyle, Nate cupped the back of his neck. “To make your crazy ass the love of my life.” He kissed him once, hard, then drew back.
Kyle grinned and licked his lips. “Gotta love God.”
♦
When the kitchen was cleaned to Nate's specifications, Kyle went to the living room and turned on the Christmas tree lights. He was glad they had been able to talk his mom and Greyson into coming to Idaho for Christmas. Though Nate would have spent Christmas in the fucking tropics just to be with Kyle – he knew the guy loved the traditional white Christmas. It was Kyle's suggestion that they all spend the holiday at Nate's home. And that night, Kyle had learned there were benefits to making Nate happy.
He smiled and pressed his lips tight, a low burning ache creeping through his groin. Nate was definitely a man he wanted to keep happy.
The presents beneath the tree were stacked neatly. Nate always had everything so precise. Kyle smiled and wondered how Nate was going to survive him. He suspected they may have a lot of squabbles about him not keeping things neat and tidy. But that was okay, every little disagreement could be counted as a fight, and therefore makeup sex would be in order.
Kyle chuckled low then released a quiet sigh. God, baby, hurry home. I already miss you like crazy.
Nate was like air to him and it seemed almost impossible to catch his breath when he wasn't there – even if the man did take his breath away when he was present. But he could handle that kind of asphyxia.
♦
“How did you get away without Kyle?”
With the luggage stacked in the back of the pickup, Nate, Janice and Greyson climbed into the cab of his truck. He grinned at Janice as he turned the engine over.
“I told him he had to clean the kitchen.”
Shock widened her eyes. “And he did it?”
Nate shrugged. “Well that remains to be seen.” he laughed. “But I'm thinking it will be spotless.”
“That's amazing.” Janice shook her head and smiled. “Well, you remember what a chore it was to get him to even clean his room when he was a kid.”
Nate chuckled. “Yeah, I remember.” He grinned sheepishly. “Most of the time he conned me into doing it.”
Greyson laughed.
“What?” Janice raised her eyebrows. “You cleaned his room for him?” She clucked her tongue. “Should have known. Kyle would've never done that good of a job.” She nudged Nate's arm. “But you should have made the lazy little cuss do it himself.”
“Yeah, well.” Nate rubbed his hand over his mouth and sighed. “Even then, I was a sucker for that quirky little smile and puppy dog eyes.”
They all laughed and Greyson shook his head. “Just don't let him know he can still manipulate you.”
“Well, I do my best. “ Nate told him. “But I don't think I'm fooling him.” His voice lowered and he murmured more to himself than the others. “He still knows how to get whatever he wants.”
Greyson grinned and pressed his lips tight, chuckling low.
“I don't even want to know what that means.” Janice said, smiling, holding her hand up as if to ward off any unwanted details.
Nate and Greyson laughed.
“So Kyle has no idea about...” Janice let the question roll away.
Nate shook his head then shrugged. “Not that I know of. I haven't let on about anything.”
“What do you think his reaction will be?” Greyson asked with a smile.
Drawing in a deep breath, Nate released it slow and laughed anxiously. “With Kyle...who's to say?”
Janice touched his arm, her eyes glowing with warmth. “Are you nervous?”
Clearing his throat, Nate shifted and cocked his head, a shaky smile tripping across his lips. “Shittin' bricks.”
♦
The heat of Nate's shoulder warmed Kyle's back as he leaned against the man's body. They were sitting on the sofa, their feet propped on the coffee table. Kyle wore white socks on feet that were draped over Nate's as he absently played footsie with the guy.
His mom relaxed in a thick armchair while Greyson rested on one of the cushioned arms.
“Tell me you all practice the giving of one gift on Christmas Eve.” he said.
Janice covered his hand with hers. “Of course.” She smiled then looked at her son sweetly. “In fact it has always been a chore keeping it down to just one...with that boy.”
“Hey.” Kyle grinned. “What kid doesn't want to open all his presents on Christmas Eve?”
“I didn't mean when you were a kid.” Janice smiled.
“What do you mean?” Nate quipped and squeezed his arm around Kyle's neck. “When did he ever stop being a kid?”
Kyle made a show of resisting Nate's arm as Greyson and Janice laughed.
“I don't see why you're all so mean to me.” Kyle's face twisted. He looked up at Nate and smirked. “And if I'm still a kid – then that makes you a child molester.”
Nate burst out laughing as Janice's jaw dropped a bit. Greyson bit his tongue, struggling not to bust up.
“Kyle James!”
Kyle shrugged and grinned. “Well it's true.”
“Where did you get that mouth?” Janice wondered with a note of exasperation.
Kyle smirked. “From hanging around with Nate.”
“Yeah right.” Nate chuffed and squeezed his neck tighter. “I corrupted you. Sure that's how it happened.”
“See?” Kyle looked at his mom and smiled. “He admits it.”
“That wasn't an admittance.”
Janice waved her hand absently. “Don't worry, Nate.” She said and shot her son a dry look, behind which amusement glittered. “I know he's full of it. You were always my good son, respectable and sweet.” She sighed. “I always hoped that would rub off on him.”
A smirk twisted Kyle's lips and he turned his head so his mouth was close to Nate's ear. “If only she knew what you were really rubbing on me every night - she might not think of you as her good son anymore.”
“Shut up.” Nate hissed then laughed, clenching his arm around Kyle's neck again.
Kyle glanced at his mom as she watched them, eyes slightly narrowed, clearly not wanting to know what he had whispered to Nate. She had always razzed him about him needing to take son lessons from Nate, but he was never under the mistaken impression that she didn't love him with all her heart and soul. Besides, he'd always admired Nate, even when they were kids. And if there was ever anyone he wanted to be like – it was Nate.
The man's grip on his neck eased and his hand lowered to Kyle's chest, slipping easily under the collar of his t-shirt. Kyle's pulse spiked a bit as Nate's fingertips lightly rubbed against his skin, tracing up and down the surgical scar. He tilted his head and laid it against Nate's arm, his gaze settling on the rough scar that ran down his forearm; a forever reminder of the lengths Nate would go to protect him.
He bit his lips between his teeth as his eyes began to sting. Greyson was speaking to his mom, but he barely heard a word of it. The sudden urge to take Nate to the bedroom and make love with him was nearly overwhelming. At this moment, he wasn't craving the hard, wild sex that was often their thing – but he just wanted to be in his arms, making love slow and easy.
A knot tightened his throat and he kissed Nate's arm lightly. Nate's lips touched his head softly.
“I love you.” Nate murmured against his short hair.
A shaky breath staggered up Kyle's throat. “I love you too.”
♦
It never became mundane hearing I Love you fall from Kyle's lips. For the past two months the guy had said it to him every day, multiple times a day. Yet, each time he heard it, his heart stilled for a moment before speeding up, knocking against his ribs. He couldn't imagine a day when those three words on Kyle's lips wouldn't have this effect on him.
Greyson and Janice went to the Christmas tree and chose the gifts they would exchange that night. They had all agreed that for tonight, Nate and Kyle would exchange a gift, and Greyson and Janice would exchange one.
Nervous anxiety pinched Nate's guts. Kyle left the sofa and plucked out a small package from beneath the tree then returned to his place at Nate's side. He started to hand Nate the gift then withdrew.
“Where's mine?” He cocked an eyebrow.
Nate smiled and shook his head. “You'll get it. Don't worry.” he assured. “But let me open mine first.”
“Well that isn't fair, you get to open yours first.” Kyle's face screwed into a mock pout and Nate chuckled, taking the gift.
“Don't be a baby.”
A glimmer of anxiety tightened Kyle's face as he watched Nate open the small package. Nate glanced at him and the guy seemed truly uneasy, as if he were suddenly regretting the gift.
You're so funny, baby, Nate thought then smiled as he opened the small box.
Inside lay a round silver pendant the size of a half dollar, attached to a silver snake chain, and nestled on a bed of red satin. On the underside of the small box lid, a tiny card had been attached. He plucked it loose and read it silently.
If I had to choose between you and breathing...I'd use my last breath to tell you 'I Love You.'
Nate's throat knotted instantly as the words swam before him. He licked his lips and swallowed hard then lifted the necklace from the satin. He stared at the simple inscription. His lips pressed tight as he struggled to hold the already pooled tears from breaking loose.
Nate cleared his throat. “World's Greatest Boyfriend.” he read aloud, his voice thick.
“It's...corny. I know.” Kyle emitted an uneasy laugh. “You don't...have to wear it.”
Nate glanced at Greyson and Janice who were both watching them, smiling. His gaze shifted to Kyle. The man's beautiful eyes were slightly glossy with that 'I just fucked up again' look. A crippling ache squeezed Nate's heart. He wanted to cry at that look on Kyle's face. How could the guy think that he wouldn't absolutely love anything and everything he gave him?
“Are you kidding?” Nate nearly choked on the knot in his throat. He leaned over and kissed Kyle softly on the lips then told him, “I love it.” He drew back and unfastened the clasp. “Hell yes I'm gonna wear it. You think I don't want people to know I'm the best boyfriend ever.” He winked at Kyle as he fastened the chain around his neck. “Well...the second best.”
Kyle's face softened, the anxiety melting away beneath the warmth of Nate's love. He cleared his throat and visibly forced back the emotions struggling to take over. His trademark smirk graced his lips. “So, uh...where's my gift?”
Rubbing the circular pendant of his new necklace absently between his thumb and index finger, Nate smiled, his eyes squinting a bit. “You have to close your eyes.”
Kyle eyed him suspiciously. “Yeah right.”
“What?” Nate smiled innocently. “Don't you trust me?”
Janice leaned against Greyson and intertwined her fingers with his as they both laughed softly.
“Yeah.” Kyle muttered low. “About as far as you trusted me last time.”
Nate chuckled. “Come on, close your eyes.”
Doubt narrowed Kyle's eyes. “What're you gonna do?” He asked low, suspicious. “'Cause I'll tell you now – if you put a fuc-freaking spider on me, I'll go Tasmanian devil on this place.”
Janice and Greyson burst out laughing. Nate rubbed his hand over his mouth, and chuckled. “Yeah, I got that memo when we were eight and that daddy long-leg crawled across your arm.” He glanced at Janice and grinned. “I thought your mom was gonna whip your ass for trashing your room like that.”
Kyle smirked. “Well, just so you know.”
“No spiders.” Nate chuckled, holding up his right hand, making the peace sign with his fingers. “Scout's honor.”
Kyle shook his head. “You were never a scout.”
Nate shrugged. “So what? Shut your damn eyes.”
“And I thought you were about to get all romantic.” Kyle smirked and closed his eyes. “But you're just the same old brute you've always been.”
Janice laughed softly and squeezed Greyson's hand.
A chuckle rumbled low in Nate's chest, but a flurry of butterflies invaded his stomach, fluttering frantically. He swallowed with effort as his throat tightened. It seemed he'd been waiting his whole life for this one moment and he didn't want to fuck it up.
He twisted and sat on the edge of the sofa facing Kyle then took hold of his left hand. The guy didn't resist, though an uncertain frown pinched his brow.
“What're you doing?” Kyle murmured.
“Stop talking.” Nate smiled. “You're ruining the moment.”
“What moment?” Kyle's lips twitched but there was a serious note to his voice.
Leaning close to Kyle's face, he whispered, “Be...” Kissed his lips. “...quiet.” Then kissed him again.
Kyle licked his lips slowly, as if savoring the taste of Nate's kiss, but he didn't speak.
“Good boy.” Nate murmured, smiling. Kyle's lips twisted pleasantly but still he refrained from making any remarks.
Nate reached down into the front pocket of his jeans and took out the customized gold band he'd picked up from the jeweler's on the way home from the airport. He held it up in his fingertips and stared at it. Two intertwined male symbols were engraved into the outer side of the gold surface. Twisting it a little, he re-read for the thousandth time the same inscription as was on the ring Kyle had given him – but which he had yet to actually place on Nate's finger.
One Heart, One Soul, One Love...Always.
They hadn't talked about this. Hadn't mentioned the ring Kyle had left for him on the mantle. He'd had his doubts about whether or not Kyle was really ready for a step this big. But after that night at the pizzeria, Nate couldn't help but feel the boy was ready to embrace who he was – lock, stock and barrel. At least he hoped he was.
“Are you still there?” Kyle cocked an eyebrow without opening his eyes, his mouth jerking at the left corner.
The urge to kiss that mouth was nearly irresistible, but if he started kissing him now, he wouldn't stop. Nate took Kyle's left hand and slowly slid the gold band on his ring finger. And only then did he allow himself to steal a kiss.
Kyle opened his eyes, scooted up a bit and looked at the ring, then turned his gaze on Nate, the look in Kyle's eyes loud and clear.
“Will you?” Nate murmured, his lips close to Kyle's. Though he already knew the answer, the butterflies in his stomach were in a frenzy, making him lightheaded.
Kyle met his gaze – and smirked. “Will I what?” he spoke low, his tone teasing. “Say it. All of it. Ain't no way you're gonna get away with a half-assed proposal. I want the whole damned thing, baby.”
Greyson and Janice were both struggling to keep from laughing.
Licking his lips, Nate smiled, dropped his chin to his chest and shook his head, a short laugh emitting from him. “Fine, you stubborn shit.” He lifted his head and looked him in the eyes. “Will you marry me?”
The corner of Kyle's mouth twitched and tugged as his eyes shone with his love for Nate. “No bended knee or nothing? Really?”
Nate drew in a slow, deep breath and released it on a short, low laugh. “You're gonna milk this dry, aren't you?”
Flashing him a sweet smile, Kyle touched his hand to his throat delicately. “A boy only gets married once.” He said, his voice soft, slightly high. “I want the full meal deal.”
“Oh god.” Janice laughed and buried her face in Greyson's arm as the man chuckled.
“You'll get the full meal deal, all right.” Nate muttered and slid off the edge of the sofa and onto one knee.
“Promises, promises.” Kyle smirked then held out his hand to Nate. “Now do it right, sweetie.”
Nate ducked his head again and laughed low. Why had he thought this was going to be smooth and easy? Kyle always had to brand every event with his own special touch. Nate cleared his throat and looked up, taking hold of Kyle's fingers as if he were a gentleman about to kiss the hand of a lady. He suppressed a chuckle at the imagery; Kyle was no lady. And considering all the things Nate envisioned doing to him...he supposed he was no gentleman either.
“Kyle Haney.” Nate spoke with as genteel a tone as he could muster. “Would you do me the honor of giving me your hand in marriage?”
Kyle just stared at him, a smile playing back and forth across his kissable lips. His fingers closed around Nate's hand and he urged him up off his knee and onto the sofa with him. His eyes flashed with mischief though couldn't begin to disguise the man's love and pure joy.
“What's in it for me?” Kyle lifted one eyebrow and smiled.
Nate leaned closer, sliding one arm across the back of the sofa behind Kyle's head. His fingertips played through Kyle's short hair. “Anything you want.” Nate murmured and kissed his lips.
“That works for me.” Kyle whispered. He traced his fingertips on Nate's face, his eyes shimmering, filling with tears.
Nate kissed him again then touched his lips to Kyle's ear. “Is that a yes?”
Licking his lips slowly, Kyle gazed in Nate's eyes, his heart surfacing and reaching out, gripping Nate. “As if there was any doubt.”
♦
His mind was lost in a fog as his mom and Greyson were suddenly standing there beside them. Nate was on his feet and Greyson shook his hand, congratulated him then hugged him. Kyle was suddenly pulled up on his feet and buried in that same strong embrace. He clutched the man and bit his lip hard to hold back the tears as his eyes were pulled to the gold ring on his finger.
He withdrew from Greyson and looked at Nate. “Where's the other ring?”
Nate smile and retrieved it from his pocket.
“Why didn't you...” he started then faltered as he gazed at Nate's handsome face.
“I didn't want to wear it...until you put it on me.” Nate said softly, his eyes glowing. “And I didn't want you to put it on me – until I could give you one in return.”
It was this moment, Kyle realized suddenly, that put his new heart to the true test as it raced and went crazy inside him. If he could make it through this moment...this explosion of love between him and Nate...he could handle anything from there on out.
“You okay?” Nate murmured and touched Kyle's face, sliding his thumb across his cheek, wiping away a stream of tears Kyle hadn't been aware were flowing.
He covered Nate's hand with his own, pressed his cheek into his palm and closed his eyes, nodding slowly.
When he opened his eyes, he took the ring from Nate and slid it gently on the man's left ring finger then raised Nate's hand and kissed the wedding band.
♦
Once they stepped in the bedroom, time seemed to stop. Everything felt as if it were moving in slow motion; Kyle's skin warm against his fingers as he peeled away the man's clothes, the cool sheets against naked skin, the heat of his lover's body surrounding his passion for the guy, their bodies melded as one, flowing in rhythm – gentle and easy – as their hearts beat in perfect sync.
Nate held Kyle as if he were holding onto life itself, as they carried one another to heaven and back, until they were finally just laying still in each other's arms, breath quickened and uneven, hearts racings, bodies fevered and slick with sweat.
When he felt Kyle tremble with quiet sobs, Nate held him tighter, the young man's warm face pressed deep against his throat. He cried too, the love and joy inside him too much to contain.
Kyle drew back and rubbed his hands up Nate's chest, laying his head on the man's arm. He gazed at the gold band on his finger, barely visible in the dark bedroom. When he felt Nate's soft lips on his forehead, Kyle lifted his face and Nate kissed his lips.
“I wouldn't have survived this life without you.” Nate's throat locked, choking him. He took hold of Kyle's hand and pressed it to his lips as his chin trembled and fresh tears shimmered. “Thank you for coming back to me.”
Kyle kissed him softly and rubbed the back of his fingers down Nate's cheeks then touched the scar on his right arm, and whispered, “Thank you for being here when I woke up.”
They kissed again and Nate pulled Kyle deep inside his arms and held him close, feeling the man's heart beat strong against his chest. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Kyle's warm head, his short hair tickling Nate's lips.
I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
The Wedding (pt. 1)
“When You Look At Me That Way”
“I T H I N K I might throw up.”
“You're not going to throw up. You'll be fine.” Janice smiled and touched the front of Kyle's suit. A glossy sheen glazed her eyes. “You look so handsome. Your father would be so proud.”
Kyle glanced at his reflection in the full length mirror. “I don't know.” he murmured. “I pretty much kept dad in a perpetual state of exasperation.”
“Can't argue there.” Janice laughed softly. “But nonetheless.” She bit her lower lip. “He would've given anything to be here today.” She took his hand and squeezed with affection. “He always knew you and Nate were meant to be together. We both did.”
Meant to be together. His mom's words blew through his heart like a warm breeze. From the moment he'd learned he was sick, and that the odds of surviving weren't in his favor – he had begun to take to heart the common belief that gays were destined for hell. He recalled asking Nate that question, on their hike up to the cabin, whether or not he really believed that. It hadn't been a causal question at the time; he knew if Nate truly didn't believe it, then he could dismiss it as well. He trusted Nate's judgment. But the man hadn't given him a yes or no answer – simply said there was nothing he could do about it, either way. His words hadn't brought Kyle much comfort.
But standing here now – having been through hell and back – he knew what he believed. And what Nate believed. God had sent them to hell...but He hadn't left them there. Had he truly hated them as so many believed He did, He would've just walked away and left them to their torment. But He didn't hate them; love like this, that he and Nate shared...it could only come from the very source of love itself.
“You okay, honey?”
Kyle cleared his throat and smiled. “Yeah.” He messed with this suit as he stared at his reflection. “Still feeling the urge to up-chuck, though.”
“It's natural to be nervous.” Janice assured. “This is a big step. It will change your life forever.”
Kyle groaned. “Not helping with the nerves, mom.” he smirked. His mom laughed softly and he fidgeted inside his suit. “I bet Nate isn't even sweating.” he muttered. “Mr. Perfect. Just takes everything in stride.”
“I'm sure he's plenty nervous.” Janice smiled. “He's been waiting for this for a very long time.” She gazed at Kyle's face lovingly. “Waiting for you for a very long time.”
Kyle met his own eyes in the mirror, studying himself, searching for some visible reason Nate had fallen in love with him in the first place, much less waited years for him. “Why me?” he whispered.
“What do you mean, sweetheart?”
Shifting his gaze, he met his mother's eyes. “Why does he want me?” He shook his head and looked at his reflection again, his voice low. “He's...perfect. Amazing. He's like a...super man.” Pressure squeezed Kyle's chest and throat. “He deserves more than...” he motioned towards the mirror. “...this.”
Janice smiled and tears glistened. “Kyle, baby.” she said softly, sincerely. “You're Nate's whole world. I was there when he thought he'd lost you.” Her voice strained. “He nearly died himself...and would have if you hadn't come back to him. Honey, don't ever think that you're not everything he could ever want or need in this life.”
“Sometimes this feels...too good to be true, you know?” He looked at his mom. “I keep thinking – what if I'm still in the hospital, and all this is just a dream. Sometimes...I'm scared to go to sleep...afraid it'll all go away.”
His mom's eyes shimmered. She held his hands. “It isn't a dream, Kyle.” she said softly. “It's real. And here very soon...a most amazing man is going to be standing out there, eagerly waiting to marry you, and start his life with you. It's for real, sweetheart. And you deserve it. You deserve Nate.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, then smiled. “And he deserves you.”
“Well, I don't know about that.”
Kyle and Janice turned to see Nate in the doorway, leaning casually against the door frame, a crooked smile on his perfect lips, eyes shining like the sun.
Pressure swelled Kyle's chest as his love for the man bubbled up and overflowed.
God, baby, you're so beautiful.
♦
“Mind if I have a word with the man of the hour?” Nate pushed away from the door frame and entered the room.
Janice nodded and smiled, then squeezed her son's hand. “Of course.” She touched Nate's arm gently as she walked past and cast him a quick – My son's about to have a meltdown – look. Nate smiled and nodded. He would handle Kyle.
The door closed quietly behind Janice. Nate gazed at Kyle. The man put on a brave face, covered his anxiety with his classic smirk, but he had nothing to veil his eyes – always the direct window to his heart, his hidden fears.
“Isn't it bad luck for us to see each other?” Kyle smirked. “Isn't that the tradition?”
Nate shrugged and grinned, waving his hand absently. “That's a bride curse.” He walked over to Kyle and straightened his tie a bit, then kissed him. His fingers started to comb up through his hair when Kyle pulled back and ducked away from him, running a quick hand over his hair.
“Hey, my hair.” he smiled. “You're gonna mess it up.”
Nate laughed. “Sorry, Cinderella.” He held up his hands. “My bad.”
“You want me to look perfect, don't you?” Kyle carefully smoothed his hands over his hair as he looked in the mirror.
“Is that what you're going for?” Nate grinned. “Perfection?”
“Fuck you.” Kyle sneered. “I look damn good.”
Indeed. Nate gazed at him, smiling. “Yeah, you do.” He turned Kyle towards him and smoothed out his tux jacket, then smirked, “But you're still no super man.”
Kyle groaned and shook his head. A shimmer of embarrassment flushed his face and Nate's heart shuddered. Still, he couldn't suppress a chuckle.
“You know it's rude to eves drop.” Kyle muttered and studied his reflection again.
Standing behind him, Nate rested his hands on Kyle's waist and kissed his shoulder, grinning. “You're gonna be my husband.” he murmured. “Nothing should come out of that mouth that I'm not allowed to hear.”
“After we're married.” Kyle pointed out. “Until then, stop...listening in on private conversations.”
Nate nibbled his ear. “Then stop talking silly shit.”
“What silly shit?”
“That you're not good enough for me.” Nate dropped the humor and let the seriousness of his words seep in. His arms slid around Kyle's waist and he kissed his neck as he met his eyes in the mirror. “Asking why I love you.”
Kyle's lips pressed tight and he glanced away from Nate's gaze.
“Your mom was right.” Nate said quietly. “You're everything I've ever wanted. And I don't care if you understand it or not – deal with it.” He smiled softly and kissed Kyle's neck a second time. “Accept it, babe. It is what it is. And always will be.”
Some of the tension left Kyle's body and he relaxed a little against Nate's chest. He gazed at Nate in the mirror. “You're really ready to hitch yourself to this bag of craziness – for the rest of your life?”
“I am.” Nate chuckled.
“Sure you can handle all this?”
Nate laughed and squeezed Kyle in his arms. “I think I've already proved that I can.”
“Wanna prove it again?” Kyle's lips twisted and he shot Nate a look that stabbed right to his crotch. “One last hoo-rah as single guys?”
Nate groaned and shoved his face against Kyle's throat. “You little shit, don't tempt me like that just before I have to go stand before a room full people.”
“Is that a no, then?”
“We're already dressed and ready to do this thing.” Nate said, but even he could hear the strain in his voice that belied his desires to rip off Kyle's tux and take him right there. “Besides,” he murmured and kissed his cheek. “I wouldn't want to mess your hair.”
Twisting around, Kyle faced him and flattened his hands on Nate's shoulders, his thumbs stroking each side of Nate's neck, causing him to quiver with need. Just the slightest touch from Kyle could drive him over the edge.
“I would forgive you.” The impish smile of Kyle's lips wasn't enough to reach up and shield the anxiety in his eyes.
You're stalling, baby. You're scared to go out there.
His heart fluttering, Nate leaned down and kissed Kyle's mouth. “You're going to do great, baby.” he whispered. “Everything is going to go just fine.”
Kyle wrapped his arms around Nate's neck and hugged him tight. “What if I fuck up?” A sudden tightness squeezed his words and caused Nate's heart to ache. “I don't want to ruin this.”
I don't want to ruin this for you. That's what he really meant. His fear was genuine, as was his concern at making a mess of what should be a perfect moment in Nate's memory.
“You're not going to fuck up, or ruin anything, Kyle.” Nate rubbed his hands on Kyle's back soothingly and nuzzled his ear. “As long as you say I Do when the preacher asks if you'll be mine forever...then that's all I really need for this day to be perfect.” He kissed his neck just below his ear. “Baby, everything else is just icing.” He drew back enough to kiss Kyle's lips. “You're my first.” He kissed him again. “My last.” And once more. “My everything. You just being here with me today, wanting me, needing me...loving me the way I love you...” His eyes stung and he kissed him again. “Baby, it's already perfect. Nothing can ruin it.” He smiled and touched his forehead to Kyle's brow. “Not even a sexy, wild boy.”
“Thank you.” Kyle swallowed thickly then initiated the kiss this time. “You always know how to make me feel better.”
“That's my job.” Nate smiled. “Now more than ever.” He rubbed his hands down Kyle's back then gripped his ass lightly. “And if you start to get nervous,” he murmured, “Just think about tonight...and how good I'm really going to make you feel.”
Kyle grinned. “I don't want to think about that when everyone's looking. Can't really disguise those thoughts.” He nudged Nate and smirked, “Especially after you cut me off all this last week. You know I'm barely keeping it in my pants as it is.”
“Shit.” Nate laughed and hugged him tighter, squeezing his ass a bit harder. “You ain't the only one, baby. I'm so ready to get at you.”
“Maybe I should deny you tonight.” Kyle surmised. “Pay you back for making me suffer all week.”
Nate laughed again. “Yeah. As if.” He kissed Kyle's mouth. “We'll be lucky to make it to the room before you're all over me.”
Kyle started to argue the point, then shrugged and grinned. “No, you're right. I'll fuck you in the nearest closet, I don't care.”
“Hmmm...” Nate looked thoughtful then chuckled. “Maybe.” He rubbed the back of his fingers down Kyle's face and grinned. “Smooth as a baby's butt. Nice. Close shave there, no nicks. Very good.”
“It isn't my first time.” Kyle informed and shook his head, smirking.
“It isn't?” A teasing smile curved his lips. “When did you get old enough to shave?”
“Fuck you.” Kyle laughed and shoved at Nate, but he didn't budge.
“Don't tempt me this close to game time.” Nate whispered low, conspiratorial. “I might just take you up-”
A quiet knock then the door opened part way. Greyson leaned in. “It's almost time.” he said. “You boys about ready?”
Nate planted one more kiss on Kyle's lips then released him and walked to the door. “Yeah.” he grinned then looked at Kyle. “Better get me out of here before my husband-to-be sexually assaults me.”
“Bite me.” Kyle sneered and flipped him off.
Nate winked. “Later, babe. I promise.”
♦
When Nate was gone, Greyson stepped into the room and walked over to Kyle. “How you holding up?”
A nervous laugh emitted forth and Kyle smiled anxiously. “I'm pretty sure I'm either gonna throw up...or piss my pants.”
Greyson laughed and squeezed his shoulder. “You'll be fine.”
“So they keep telling me.” Kyle mused.
Greyson gazed at Kyle's reflection in the tall mirror. A remnant of grief pressed against the inside of his chest. There were moments – huge moments like these – when it hit him all over again that this was just one more thing he'd never share with Ian.
Kyle met his eyes in the mirror, and smiled. Greyson's eyes stung.
“Are you okay?” Kyle laughed low.
“Yeah.” Greyson's throat was tight, thick. He squeezed the boy's shoulder again and nodded. “All is well.” He hadn't been left without anything. A glimmer of his son remained – in Kyle. And the young man himself was a blessing all his own.
Kyle subconsciously bit his lip. He was nervous. Every young man should be allowed to have a proud, adoring father with him in this moment. Greyson had heard enough about Jim Haney to know he'd been a good man and a great father.
He stepped closer and slid his arm across Kyle's shoulder, hugging the boy against him. “I know I'm not your father, and no one could take the place of him being here today.” He licked his lips, his eyes glossing. “But for whatever it's worth...I'm proud of you. And I'm honored to share in this celebration of love. You and Nate...you're a perfect match. I know you'll have a long and happy life together.”
His lips pressed tight and eyes shimmering, Kyle hugged him. “Don't say for whatever it's worth like it might not mean that much to me.” Kyle choked quietly. “It means everything.” He drew back and smiled, tears barely contained. “And just so you know, the next wedding we attend – I expect it to be yours and mom's.”
Greyson's heart swelled. He'd wondered at times what Kyle would think of him marrying Janice, knowing how close Kyle had been with his dad. But hearing those words from the boy now, feeling how supportive Kyle was, it was everything he could hope for.
When he didn't answer immediately, Kyle told him, “You're forever a part of our family now.”
Greyson hugged him again. “Then I am truly a blessed man.”
Entering quietly, Janice approached them. “Hey, don't use up all my son's hugs before I get me some.”
“By all means.” Greyson chuckled and stepped back as Janice moved in and embraced Kyle.
The two hugged, then Kyle pulled back and smiled at his mom. “You're okay with being my best...mom...right?”
Janice laughed softly. “I'm thrilled, honey.”
“Well, it just seemed fitting.” Kyle said. “You and Nate...you're my two best friends. And I'm marrying him, so it just seemed right that you should be the one to stand up there with me.”
Janice wiped tears from her face. “I'm honored, sweetheart.” She hugged him again then kissed his cheek. “Now come on.” She smiled. “Nate's waiting on you to make him the happiest man in the whole world.”
♦
The most beautiful sight in all the earth materialized before Kyle's eyes when he stepped to the doorway and faltered. Just a few yards away stood God's greatest creation – wrapped up in a simple country boy who, at the moment, seemed so out of place – though insanely handsome – in the black tux; tie perfect, as expected. Hair shining in the bright lights cascading down from the high ceiling of the sanctuary.
Kyle was helpless to just stand and stare, his new, young heart going wild in his chest. Thank you, Ian, he offered silently, gratitude bursting out with every strong beat of his heart. Nate blurred and shimmered before him. They had come so close to losing everything, never having the chance to be right here, ready to begin their lives together. Breath rattled in his throat and he swallowed quick, pressing his lips tight.
“Ready to tie that knot?” Greyson clamped his hand on Kyle's shoulder and smiled.
Kyle gazed at Nate. His nerves wound out tight and twisted up his guts, but even so he couldn't wait to go out there and make the man his own – for keeps.
“Yeah.” A nervous smile crept across his lips. “I am.”
♦
A low, controlled breath slipped quietly from between Nate's lips. Don't fidget, he berated silently when his feet tried to shift anxiously. He did his damnedest not to appear as nervous as he felt. What was it Kyle had said to his mom? I bet Nate isn't even sweating. Mr. Perfect just takes everything in stride.
Nate bit his tongue to keep from laughing out loud. The little shit, if he only knew. Nothing was more nerve racking than standing out there alone, in front of everyone, his own silent, irrational fears racing circles inside his head. What if Kyle lost his nerve at the last minute, left him at the alter?
Of course he didn't really think that would happen. It better not, Nate warned Kyle in his mind. You pull something like that and I swear to God I'll kick your ass-
His anxious eyes fell on Kyle, standing in doorway just a short distance away. The way Kyle was looking at him weakened his knees and quickened his pulse so suddenly, and to such a degree it made his head spin, causing a brief dizzy spell. His eyes stung and he had to force himself not to rush over to the man, suddenly desperate to be near him, touch him.
Their eyes held as a smile graced Kyle's lips and he walked out into the sanctuary towards Nate, followed by Janice and Greyson. The closer Kyle came, the harder Nate's heart beat against his ribs. And that look in Kyle's gorgeous eyes floored Nate, and left him wondering how he was even still on his feet. That look that Nate prayed Kyle was seeing in his eyes as well.
There's no place I'd rather be than right here, right now, with you – the love and light of my life.
The Wedding (pt. 2)
“With This Ring”
♦
J U S T breathe. You can do this. You're not gonna feint OR throw up.
His silent pep talk wasn't doing much good, because Kyle felt certain he might well do both. Wouldn't that be a precious memory? Throw in a few photos to immortalize the event. Lovely.
A light pressure squeezed his hand and he looked up. Nate was gazing at him, a smile pulling at the right corner of his mouth. He squeezed Kyle's hand reassuringly and winked. Relax, baby, you're gonna do just fine.
The power behind that look, the touch of his hand, blasted through Kyle's anxiety, eradicating a good portion of it. No matter what happened, how good or bad he did here today, when it was all over – he and Nate would be married. And the look in Nate's eyes reminded him all over again that that's all that really mattered. Everything else was just fluff.
Kyle squeezed Nate's hand and smiled, signifying he got it. There was slight dampness to Nate's palm and when he looked at the man's face, a faint glossy sheen tainted his hairline across his brow and at his temples. Taking it in stride, my ass. You're shittin' bricks.
“What?” Nate murmured low when Kyle ducked his head and grinned.
“Nothing.” he whispered. “Just nice to know I'm not the only one sweating bullets.”
Squeezing Kyle's hand again, Nate just chuckled low and looked forward when the preacher signaled he was ready to begin.
Oh God, this is it, Kyle thought. Just three quick requests, Lord – strengthen my bladder, calm my stomach and clear my head. Amen.
♦
Kyle clutched his hand so tight Nate nearly winced. A slight tremor ran through the guy's touch. Or was it he himself quaking? Nate couldn't be sure. Standing face to face with one's dream, about to watch it unfold, come true, right before your very eyes – it was both the most beautiful and most frightening thing in the world. People dreamed all their lives, and it seemed only a select few ever saw those dreams materialize into reality. Nate had never really believed he would be one of the chosen to have it all handed to him. And it scared him to death to be given such a blessing, to hold a gift this precious in his hands, knowing it was up to him now to nurture it, protect it, never forget how special it is.
Kyle squeezed his hand again, as if assuring himself Nate was really there, in the flesh, and not merely an illusion. Nate glanced at him, needing his own assurances that this wasn't all just some manifestation of his own mind.
When Kyle's fingers tightened around his hand once more, the man's words to his mom – “He's like a Super man” – wrapped warmly around Nate's heart. Kyle was cocky and covered up a lot of how he truly felt, but it was no secret to Nate that that was how Kyle had always seen him; like a Super man. He knew that no matter what he got himself into, or what threat life thrust at him...Nate would be there, protecting him at all costs. And it was true. Nate would stand between Kyle and any level of threat – even Death himself.
Nate glanced at Greyson, who stood to his right. The man smiled and gave him an encouraging nod. Janice was at Kyle's left and touched his arm, squeezing affectionately. Her soft eyes shimmered as she looked past her son and met Nate's gaze briefly. She trusted him to take care of Kyle, and he knew it gave her great comfort to know Nate would be with Kyle every day of his life. After what they had all went through, a part of her would always worry about her son. But now Nate would be there, always watching over him, looking out for him, making sure he had no setbacks. Even if by some strange occurrence Kyle had turned down Nate's proposal – he still wouldn't have left the man's side, even if it had meant him moving to LA and living in the same house with them. He would've never again let Kyle out of his sight.
He looked at Kyle, just a few bare inches shorter than himself. Anxiety tightened the man's face, but his eyes glowed. Kyle loved him and right here beside Nate was where he most wanted to be, Nate could feel it in the way Kyle held his hand – as if no force on earth or in heaven could tear him loose from Nate.
The need to hold the guy in his arms consumed Nate, but he resisted it for the time being as the preacher began to speak.
“Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and angels, and the presence of friends and loved ones, to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to the words which shall unite Nate Westfall and Kyle Haney in holy matrimony.”
Holy matrimony. A warmth seeped through Nate's body. Not so long ago he believed God rejected – even hated – everything he and Kyle were. But to hear those words now – Holy Matrimony – it gave him a level of comfort he hadn't known he needed, that certainty that this was a union joined by God himself.
The preacher continued. “We have been called together as witnesses to the happiness which this couple has found together, and to the mutual caring and responsibility for their common life. Marriage is a most honorable estate, created and instituted by God, signifying unto us the mystical union, which also rests between Christ and the Church; so too may this marriage be adorned by true and abiding love. Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, they must speak now or forever hold their peace.”
The man's words seemed muffled, even distant, against the deafening thump of Nate's heart. He silently dared anyone to set foot in here and oppose their union. Nate held Kyle's hand firmly, squeezing with assurance, as if to say – Don't worry, baby, anyone tries to stop us and they'll be going out horizontally.
The preacher looked at Nate and Kyle, and smiled. “Today is truly a glorious day the Lord hath made – as today both of you are blessed with God’s greatest of all gifts – the gift of abiding love and devotion for one another. All present here today – and those here in heart and spirit – wish both of you all the joy, happiness and success the world has to offer.”
Nate glanced at Kyle, whose eyes glistened at the preacher's words – Those here in heart and spirit. Nate believed with all his heart that both Kyle's dad and Ian were here with them today. If he looked long enough, he could almost see Jim Haney standing at Kyle's side with Janice, his strong, gentle hand resting on Kyle's shoulder, eyes glowing with an abundance of pride. Nate's vision blurred and he blinked back the tears. He faced forward again and focused on the preacher's words.
“As you travel through life together, I caution you to remember that the true measure of success, the true avenue to joy and peace, is to be found within the love you hold in your hearts. I would ask that you hold the key to your heart very tightly.”
When Kyle's fingers tightened around Nate's hand, he looked at the guy again. Kyle was gazing at him, so much love pouring out of him that it nearly broke Nate right there. It was on his mind to ask the preacher to please hurry and get to the end because he desperately needed to kiss this boy.
The corner of Nate's mouth twitched with a smile and he winked softly at Kyle.
“Within the Bible, nothing is of more importance than love.” The preacher continued. “We are told the crystalline and beautiful truth: God is Love. We are assured that Love conquers all.” He looked from Nate to Kyle. “It is love, which brings you here today, the union of two hearts and two spirits. As your lives continue to interweave as one pattern, remember that it was love that brought you here today, it is love that will make this a glorious union, and it is love which will cause this union to endure.”
A quick replay of the last few months spun through Nate's head. The fear, anger, bitterness, pain, cursing God, begging God, crying, screaming, hurting...then suddenly – it was all over. Like a violent storm suddenly dissipating into thin air, leaving behind blue skies and sunshine. Like a perfect gift from God – Kyle was handed back to them. As good as new.
A warm tear was working its way down Nate's cheek, but he left it alone, didn't attempt to wipe it away. His pulse quickened as all his focus went to the warmth of Kyle's hand tucked securely within his own. Thank you, God. It seemed such an understatement for how deep and strong his gratitude truly was. He was just a simple man, and he prayed that God could feel all that he truly meant in that simple thank you.
“I'll now read the scriptures chosen by Janice Haney in dedication to the couple.” The preacher opened his bible to a marked passage. “From the Song of Solomon. Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm, for love is strong as death. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine. His mouth is most sweet, yea he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend.”
♦
This is my beloved and this is my friend.
Intense emotion squeezed Kyle's heart; no words could reflect more perfectly what Nate was to him. My beloved...my friend. His throat closed and he resisted the tears stinging his eyes. Nate's hand squeezed his as the preacher read the passages. There was no doubt in his heart that he was everything to Nate that Nate was to him.
The preacher closed the bible and looked at them both. “Nate and Kyle, please join hands and face each other.”
Kyle turned towards Nate and slipped his free hand into Nate's. The man grasp both his hands securely and he could sense Nate's desire to just pull him close, bury Kyle in his arms. He gazed at Nate's handsome face, and watched that one tear as it lingered on his cheek. He longed to lean up and kiss it way, but if he got that close to Nate's mouth, he would start kissing the man and not be able to stop.
“Kyle.” Kyle pulled his eyes from Nate's face and looked at the preacher, his heart doing a crazy jitterbug in his chest. “Are you ready to join Nate in a lifelong union, believing that your love and faith will endure all things?”
His vision blurred as he looked at Nate again. The man gazed at him, his heart in his eyes, and Kyle's own heart went crazy. “I am.” His voice shook, but he couldn't steady it.
The preacher turned to Nate. “Nate, are you ready to join Kyle in a lifelong union, believing that your love and faith will endure all things?”
Nate never took his eyes off Kyle. “I am.” he said quietly, voice thick and strained, but much more steady than Kyle's. How do you do it? Kyle wondered, unable to prevent the smile playing at the corners of his mouth. You're so...together. It isn't fair.
Nate's lips tightened just a little, resisting the smile trying to take over, as he seemed to be reading Kyle's mind. He loved how in sync Nate was with him, though it made it near to impossible to fool the guy. Hopefully there would never be anything he wanted to keep secret from him.
“The pledges you will now repeat.” The preacher spoke up. “Are a testament of your intent to love each other for all of your natural life on this earth.”
Anxiety assaulted Kyle and he went a little light-headed. The vows. Up to this point he'd kept it together, for the most part. But he hadn't had to say anything short of I am – and his voice had trembled with just those two words. Already his throat was beginning to close and his legs feeling like a rubber hose that had been laying out in the hot sun too long.
Oh God, please...let me get through this without embarrassing myself or Nate.
♦
Tiny shudders ran through Kyle and he clutched Nate's hands in desperation. Though his face remained neutral, his beautiful eyes resonated his fear and tension. How is it you're this nervous just standing up here – after that little performance at the pizzeria? You sure weren't nervous about being the center of attention then.
The sudden memory of that night sent sharp, tingling shivers racing through Nate's body. Maybe he could get the boy to pour himself back into those sweet leather pants tonight and execute another little performance.
When the preacher cleared his throat to begin speaking, Nate's mind snapped back to the here and now. And the nervousness Kyle was suffering, began to seep into Nate as well. He'd wanted this for so long, and though a part of him had always hoped it would happen...a greater part of him feared it never would. He gazed at Kyle's face, held his eyes, prayed that Kyle could see his heart right this moment and know how special he was to Nate. You are my whole world, baby.
He sucked in a quiet, deep breath and released it slow when the preacher began, struggling to control the beat of his heart and failing miserably as it raced and thumped and occasionally stalled.
“Nate, do you take Kyle to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only to him, for as long as you both shall live?”
In sickness and in health. Nate's throat squeezed and his eyes filled with tears before he could fight them. Love, honor, cherish...and protect. Kyle's face shimmered and swam before him. Baby, I would die for you. He cleared his throat then swallowed thickly. “I do.”
♦
I do.
It seemed this day, this very moment, had played a million times over in Kyle's mind as he'd envisioned the ceremony in his head from the second Nate had proposed. He'd heard Nate say 'I do' over and again in each scenario. But never had he imagined that the real thing would pack such a punch, or sound so heavenly.
I do. Those two tiny words saying so much. They were Nate telling Kyle, in no uncertain terms – 'I am yours and yours alone, now and forever'.
Nate's eyes glossed thickly with tears and Kyle could feel his nervousness in his hands. He'd just promised to have and to hold Kyle in sickness and in health. Kyle squeezed his hands. Baby, you've already made good those vows. And risked everything to protect me. In his own way, Nate had made these vows to Kyle long before today.
The preacher turned to Kyle. “Kyle, do you take Nate to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only to him, for as long as you both shall live?”
Nate's fingertips pressed gently into Kyle's palms. A sudden swelling of pride ballooned in Kyle's chest. He could barely contain it – the honor it gave him to be the one Nate loved, the one he wanted to spend his life with, share everything with. To be Nate's one and only.
The corners of Kyle's jaw tightened as a fierce stinging burned his eyes. He had to force himself not to jump up on the podium and shout out I Do! Best to keep it a bit lower key. He licked his lips slowly, swallowed through his clenched throat and murmured unsteadily, “I do.”
Nate's eyes held Kyle's so strong and Kyle watched fresh tears simmer in their depths. I do, Nate. I do. Today, tomorrow, forever – I do!
♦
A rush of love for his cute, nervous man engulfed Nate. The left corner of his mouth tugged with a smile. You're doing great, baby. Perfect. Probably better than me, if you knew the truth. At that thought, Nate resisted the urge to start tugging at the collar of his shirt as a fresh sheen of sweat layered his body and sucked his clothes uncomfortably against his heated skin.
“The couple has each prepared a personal declaration of love to his partner, in addition to their vows.” The preacher nodded, signifying they could begin the recitation.
Kyle's anxiety heightened. Nate understood fully. They had had minimal verbal participation so far. Now came the true testament of just who was the most nervous. He squeezed Kyle's hands and raised his eyebrows slowly. “You wanna go first?” he murmured too low for anyone but those standing nearby to hear.
Swallowing tightly, Kyle gave a slight shake of his head, then smiled anxiously. “No way.” he whispered. “Are you kidding? You...go first.”
Greyson and Janice laughed softly. Nate rolled his eyes and gave Kyle a mock sour look. “Thanks a lot.” he muttered, then smiled and winked. He raised both of Kyle's hands to his lips and kissed them warmly, his eyes closing briefly as he let everything and everyone fade away but for him and Kyle. This was between them, and the words he was about to speak – it only mattered that Kyle heard them.
“Kyle,” he started slow, fighting to keep his voice even. “I once thought that I fell in love with you with that first stolen kiss.” The corner of his mouth twitched, as did Kyle's. “But standing here with you now, I realize that you took my heart the very day I met you.” His lips pressed tight as his eyes began to burn. He blinked against the tears, but knew it would ultimately be a losing battle. “I was too young then to comprehend how much it would change my life just having you in it. How could I have known that what began as just another school yard friendship...would evolve into a once in a lifetime love?” His breath shuddered in his chest and up his throat as he held Kyle's hands deep and tight in his grasp. “You were...you are...a miracle to me, on so many levels. The one who was everything I had ever dreamed of. I always thought that the you who could love me the way I loved you...existed only in my imagination.”
Kyle shifted a little but never took his gaze off Nate's face. Tears were forming a thick, shimmering wall in the young man's eyes. There was a slight, yet noticeable working of his throat as he engaged in the same battle with Nate – struggling to keep the tears at bay.
“When you came to me, handed me your love in a way I never expected to receive it...I realized that what I had always thought was happiness couldn't compare to the joy of loving, and being loved by, you.” He felt the tears swelling out against his lashes as his heart slammed against his chest wall. God, how did anyone survive being in love this much? “Kyle, you are a part of everything I think and do and feel, and with you by my side...I believe that anything is possible. You are my dream come true.” A smile grabbed at the corner of his lips as he added with just a dash of tease. “And sometimes my nightmare.”
A slow grin spread across Kyle's lips and one tear escaped, sliding down his cheek.
Nate released one of his hands and gently touched Kyle's face, his thumb wiping away the tear. “This day.” Nate went on, voice thick with emotion. “Here before God and our loved ones...It gives me the chance to thank you for the miracle of you.” He again took hold of both of Kyle's hands and drew them to his lips as a tear of his own broke loose and weaved a course down his face. “You are, and always will be...heart of my heart, soul of my soul, the very air I breathe.” He kissed his hands once more. “Love of my life.”
♦
Kyle was trembling – but no longer with nervousness....rather an all-consuming wave of love for the man standing before him. He didn't understand the light in which Nate saw him, but he thanked God for its illuminating glow. Kyle was certain he would never really comprehend Nate's love for him, or from where it stemmed. But when something came to you so perfect and flawless – the smart man simply accepted it, without the need to pull it apart and see how it worked. Nate loved him and that's all he needed to understand.
“Kyle.” The preacher nodded at him.
Swallowing thickly, Kyle glanced at his mom. She smiled through her tears and touched his back with reassurance, nodding gently, her way of saying he would do just fine. At Nate's side, Greyson beamed at Kyle, as proud as if he were his flesh and blood son. Maybe that was how he saw him now. Kyle didn't mind.
Kyle licked his lips anxiously and Nate's hands tightened with encouragement as he gazed at him with his heart in his eyes. The man resonated strength – despite his glistening brow and fidgeting that he tried, for the most part successfully, to conceal.
“Nate,” The audible tremor in his voice unnerved him, but he wouldn't let it stop him. He wanted – needed – Nate to know how proud he was to be the one at his side today. And just how special Nate was to him. He would get it all out, even if he had to stumble over every word. “I don't remember my life before you were in it. You have always just...been there.” His lips tightened. “You are not only the love of my life...you are my best friend. You've seen me at my worst, my best, and everywhere in between. And somehow...” He licked his lips again and Nate shimmered before him. “Somehow you still love me.” He cleared his throat quietly. “You've looked out for me, taken care of me, and protected me. I always knew that if you were there...I was safe.”
The love in Nate's eyes just then nearly floored Kyle. He gripped Nate's hands harder, hoping it would add stability to his legs.
“You are more than just a man, Nate. You are a Super man.” His throat tightened. “My hero, from day one.” Another tear trailed the first one down Nate's cheek. He held onto Kyle so tight he nearly crushed his hands, but that was okay – he needed Nate holding onto him that way. “I want you to know that I love you...not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you...not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.”
As he stared at Nate, his glistening eyes were whispering – Just look at me, baby. You're doing great. You have nothing to fear. I'm right here, where I'll always be.
“I love you for the part of me that you bring out.” Kyle let the warmth of Nate's hands, the security of his grip, feed him strength. “I love you for putting your hand into my...heap-up heart and passing over all the...foolish, weak things that you can't help seeing there. And for drawing out into the light all the good in me that no one else looked quite far enough to find.” He bit his lips between his teeth briefly, his chin trembling, then pushed on, his words shaking, at times breaking. “I love you because...you have done more than...any creed could have done...to make me good...any fate to make me happy.”
His throat was trying to close as the tears came more steadily now. Nate squeezed his hands a fraction tighter and discreetly drew him forward an inch or so, letting him know how desperately he wanted him in his arms at this very moment, how touched he was by Kyle's words.
Kyle forced himself to breathe, to remain in control – at least somewhat. “You did it without...a touch, without a word, without a sign.” His heart began to melt beneath the heat of Nate's love pouring down on him. “You did it by just...being yourself. You are my first...my last...my everything. I will take the last breath of this life...still loving you.”
♦
Everything outside his and Kyle's zone had faded to a dull hum in Nate's ears. He couldn't take his eyes off Kyle's face. How in the hell could this beautiful, amazing man ever think he wasn't good enough for Nate? The wet sheen of tears in Kyle's eyes gave view to that insecure boy that lived inside him, always worried when it came to the truly important things. Always fearful of disappointing Nate.
Nate kissed his hands again and smiled, assuring him that he'd been amazing.
The preacher asked them to face him. Nate released Kyle's hands as they looked at the man.
“It is custom to exchange rings as a symbol of the love and devotion the happy couple have for one another.” The preacher said, then turned to Nate. “Nate, what token do you give that you will perform your vows?”
Greyson handed Nate the ring that he'd had specially engraved with the same inscription as on Kyle's dad's ring. Nate then gave the ring to the preacher, who addressed Kyle. “Kyle, do you receive this ring in token of the same?”
“I do.” Kyle was clearly trying to speak loud enough for those sitting to hear, but it came out soft and low, unsteady.
The preacher returned the ring to Nate. “Place the ring on Kyle's finger. And repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.”
Nate took hold of Kyle's left hand and held it gently as he slid the ring on him for the second time. His chest squeezed as an ache crawled up his neck and into his face, stinging his eyes. “With this ring...I thee wed.” He slid his thumb over the surface of the ring and stared at it a moment, just taking in what it truly symbolized. Kyle was his. Finally, truly his.
“Kyle.” The preacher faced Kyle. “What token do you give that you will perform your vows?”
Turning to his mom, Janice placed her husband's ring gently in her son's palm. Tears filled her eyes and she dabbed them away with a white cloth, though more took their place. Kyle left a soft kiss on her cheek, struggling with a fresh well of his own tears. He faced the preacher and handed him the ring.
“Nate.” The preacher said. “Do you receive this ring in token of the same?”
Nate looked at Kyle. “I do.”
The preacher handed the ring back to Kyle. “Place the ring on Nate's finger, and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.”
Kyle's fingers shook a little as he lifted Nate's left hand and gently slid the ring on his finger, then raised his eyes to Nate's soft gaze. “With this ring, I thee wed.” They both looked at the ring as Kyle's thumb caressed it lightly. Nate recalled that instant when it had first slipped out of Kyle's jeans and hit the hearth of the fireplace up at the cabin. That day, the sight of the ring had destroyed him, ripped his heart into so many pieces he hadn't expected to survive the pain. He could see in Kyle's face that he was remembering that morning as well. The day they had nearly lost one another forever. He hadn't known that so much pain and anguish could be compiled into one single day.
When Kyle had left the ring behind, Nate had wondered how such a small, inanimate object could impact people's lives in such a powerful way. That for some it was the fulfillment of their sweetest dream, and for others...total destruction of their lives. Nate had been so convinced that it meant the latter for him.
With Kyle holding his hand now, looking into those eyes so bright and full of love for Nate – he wondered how he could have ever thought Kyle would use him, hurt him. But it had been the fear and panic that had taken over. It had never crossed his mind that Kyle had brought the ring for him...or that one day it would lead them to this place and time. Nate had carried the ring with him through those dark days, hoping against hope, against all odds, that Kyle would come back to him and be standing here next to him some day, placing that very ring on his finger as he pledged his love to him for life and longer.
It had become the fulfillment of his sweetest dream after all.
♦
“Nate and Kyle...please join hands.” The preached instructed. They stood facing one another, each holding the others hands tight and secure. “In so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in holy matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, the giving of the these rings and the joining of your hands.” He smiled warmly. “It is my honor and pleasure to now pronounce you husband and husband, partners for life.”
That was it. Kyle's resistance disintegrated with the preacher's pronouncement. The tears began slip free, one after another. There was no stopping them. But Nate matched him, tear for tear.
“Would everyone please stand.” The preacher said. “As we join in prayer for the newlywed couple.”
A rustle of noise reverberated through the sanctuary as the guests stood to their feet. Janice and Greyson moved close and held hands. His mom placed her free hand gently on Kyle's back as Greyson squeezed Nate's shoulder with affection.
All heads bowed as the preacher spoke the prayer aloud. “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up his countenance unto you, and give you peace. Amen.”
A soft murmur of Amens drifted through the sanctuary.
The preacher smiled. “Congratulations.” he said. “You may now both kiss your husband.”
Nate gave Kyle a look that reflected Kyle's own thoughts perfectly – Ah, the part I've been waiting for.
Then Nate's arms were around him, crushing him, holding him. When Nate's lips touched his, the world fell away and it was only him and Nate, alone in the universe. In that single moment, as his new husband's kiss consumed him, nothing and no one else existed.
It seemed an eternity before their kiss ended and Nate was hugging him so tight he couldn't breathe, whispering to him, “You were absolutely perfect, baby.” He kissed Kyle's ear softly. “I love you, Kyle. Thank you...for making me the happiest man in the world.”
Kyle squeezed his arms around Nate's neck and cried, whispering his love and gratitude in return.
This is real. We're really here. It isn't just a dream.
All the bad stuff was really over. He was awake, he was safe. Until this moment, he hadn't been certain. But as Nate's strong arms held him secure against his warm body, their hearts beating in perfect unison, Kyle knew it was true. He was with Nate for real. He was home.
The Wedding (pt. 3)
“I’ll Be Your Hero, Baby”
♦
“I K N O W it's tradition for the best man to make the toast to the newlyweds.” Nate stood, glass of champagne in hand. “But I think we can all agree that this is hardly a traditional wedding.” He smiled and looked at Kyle, winking softly. The guy leaned back in his chair, a light smirk playing on his lips. Now that the pressure of the ceremony was off, he appeared much more relaxed. Nate's heart went crazy in his chest but he struggled to calm it as he tried to speak with an even tone. “So I want to make a toast.” His eyes shifted from the love of his life – to the woman who had been the only real mother he had ever known. “To my new mother-in-law. Janice Haney.”
Mild shock brightened the woman's eyes and she smiled. Nate hadn't told her, or anyone – even Kyle – what he planned to say here today. Kyle looked up at him with as much surprise as his mom.
“Janice...mom.” Nate smiled and raised an eyebrow. “I can call you mom now, right?”
Janice looked at him with a smirky smile that gave evidence to where Kyle inherited his own. “Haven't you always?”
“Well, yeah, I guess I have.” Nate chuckled, then sobered a bit. “I never told you this in so many words, but...from the first day Kyle dragged me to your house...I wished for you to be my mom.” His eyes glossed and he cleared his throat as it began to tighten. “You know what my home life was like. What...my parents were like.” Janice gazed at him, tears glistening. She and Jim knew enough about Nate's parents to know his house...wasn't a home. “I didn't even know families like yours existed outside of tv...until I met Kyle, all of you.”
His throat knotting, he glanced at Kyle. The guy's eyes had their own sheen. He reached out and touched Nate's leg affectionately. Nate smiled at him as he worked up his next words.
“I remember the day I met Kyle.” his smile widened as he gazed at the boy he now realized he had loved nearly all his life. “I was in third grade and had just moved to town. I didn't know anyone at school. I remember sitting outside at one of the picnic tables they had at the edge of the playground. I had a sack lunch I'd made myself, so it wasn't too exotic, just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” He licked his lips. Kyle smiled as Nate recounted the story. “I was minding my own business when Kenny Parsons, the school bully, comes over and starts messing with me. Mostly because I was the new kid, I think. He was a fifth grader who looked like he had been held back a year or two.”
Kyle chuckled and nodded.
Nate grinned. “So he grabs my lunch and throws it on the ground and stomps on it. I'm not really afraid of the guy but if I go home with a black eye and my dad sees I've been in a fight – I'll have hell to pay. So I just sit there and try to ignore him, hoping he'll go away. No such luck.” he cleared his throat again and wiped his hand across his mouth, still grinning. “Anyway, he grabs me and shoves me down and tries to get me to fight, and all I can think about is the whipping my dad will give me if I do fight.” his grin faltered a bit as he added, “And I knew that no fifth grader could hit harder than my dad, so I figured it was better to get beat by the kid than my old man.”
A sadness glimmered in Janice's eyes when Nate spoke of his father – and how he treated him.
“So I'm there on the ground, waiting for the kid to start kicking me or punching me.” his grin came back as he looked at Kyle. “And out of nowhere, this scrawny little kid appears, looked like he should be a second grader, but I had seen him in one of my classes, so I knew he was in my grade.”
“I wasn't so scrawny.” Kyle muttered with a smirk.
“You were a twig.” Nate chuckled, then continued. “So he walks right up to Kenny Parsons and tells the guy to leave me alone and, of course, had to throw in a few insults. And I'm thinking we're both gonna get the snot beat out of us. Kenny threatens him and smart ass, scrawny little Kyle hauls off and kicks the guy in the jewels – and takes off running. As soon as Kenny gets his breath, he's right after him. I see Kyle cut into an alcove and know it's a dead end. So I'm thinking if someone don't help him, the kid is gonna die that day.”
Kyle snorted. “I could'a taken him.”
“Uh huh.” Nate rolled him eyes. “I figured I owed it to the little shit to at least come to his aid since he, basically, saved my skin. And I run over to the alcove and Kyle is backed up against the brick wall with Kenny bearing down on him.”
Kyle stood up and halted him. “Let me tell the rest.”
“Why?” Nate stared at him, eyebrow cocked.
“Because I'm better at it.” Kyle smirked. “And your long-winded stories are gonna keep us here all day.”
Nate shrugged and grinned. “Fine. Go to it, master storyteller.”
“Thank you.” Kyle smirked, then continued the story. “So I'm saying my prayers, right – and pretty sure God is ignoring me, pretending not to know me – but then all of the sudden, Nate is standing between me and this kid.”
Nate gazed at Kyle, smiling. It was the very first time he had stepped between Kyle and an imminent beating – albeit not the last.
“Nate tells Kenny to back off or he'll be sorry. Of course, the guy just laughs at him then punches him in the face. Nate goes down like a sack of potatoes, but springs back to his feet like a boomerang, face bleeding but fists up like some miniature prize fighter and he goes to wailing on the kid, knocking the shit out of him.” He glanced at his mom and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry moms, I mean, knocking the snot out of him.”
“That's better.” Janice nodded. A ripple of soft laughter swept through the room.
Nate chuckled and watched Kyle's face, the guy's eyes lighting up as he told this part of the story.
“When Kenny knew he'd met his match, he ran away, bawling and bleeding.” Kyle laughed low. “And here is Nate, face bleeding, knuckles scraped, shirt mangled – and he asks me if I'm all right.” he chuckled and gave Nate a look that shot straight to his heart. His voice softened and layered with a trace of emotion. “You were my hero that day...and every day since.”
His chest tightening, heart swelling, Nate fought the tears that welled up at Kyle's words. From that day on, he'd had Kyle's back...and vice versa. Kyle didn't care if it meant taking a pummeling, he'd fight for Nate every bit as quick as Nate would fight for him. They had fallen in love that day on the playground, and didn't even know it.
Nate leaned over and kissed Kyle. “You're my hero too, baby.” he whispered. “Now can I finish my toast?”
Chuckling, Kyle sat back down. “Toast away.”
Nate cleared his throat and looked at Janice. Maybe all this stuff were things he should be saying to the woman just amongst their small family, but he wanted everyone to know just how powerfully the woman, and her late husband, had impacted his life. “When Kyle convinced me – or rather dragged me – home with him that day, I was actually scared to walk in your house with obvious signs of having been in a fight. I thought I might get in trouble, or maybe Kyle would.” He paused, his lips pressing tight as his throat squeezed, remembering that day as if it were yesterday. “I remember...” he smiled, his eyes stinging. “...the shocked look on your face when you saw me. Before Kyle could even introduce me, you had me in a chair, tending to my face, fussing all over me.” he shook his head, her face blurring before him. “I just sat there in my own shock, just staring at you with one single thought in my head.” He cleared his throat again as it began to knot tighter. “I wish you were my mom.”
Tears shimmered in Janice's eyes as she touched her fingertips to her lips.
“When I went home that day.” Nate said, his voice straining at the vivid memory. “My dad didn't give me a chance to explain what happened. He took his belt to me then sent me to bed without supper.” Nate glanced at Kyle. The young man made no attempt to conceal the pain in his eyes. He had always blamed himself for the beating Nate took from his dad that day, even though it would have happened anyway – if Kyle hadn't intervened, Kenny would have still forced Nate to fight him. But that wasn't how Kyle saw it. To this day, he bore the blame for it. He gave Kyle a warm – I'll always love you for trying to help me that day – smile. “I never regretted fighting for Kyle...even while my dad was lashing me. I knew I would do it all over again the next day if I had to.”
He sucked in a shaky breath and rubbed his mouth. “When I got to my room, I knelt beside my bed for probably the first time ever and prayed to God.” he ducked his head briefly before raising up and looking at Janice again. “I never prayed. I didn't think God liked me. I mean, how could he if he let my parents treat me the way they did? But that day, I prayed...and I asked him to make me a part of your family...for you and Jim to be my real parents.” He laughed softly, sniffing. “I was eight, not old enough yet to understand I was asking for a miracle. It was just...a desperate but honest request by an unwanted...unloved kid.”
Janice wiped her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand as she gazed at him.
“That's when I first began to really believe in God.” he said quietly. “Because he answered my prayer to a large degree when you and Jim and Kyle took me in as if I had always belonged with you. I always thought of your house as my real home, and all of you as my family. I don't honestly know what would have become of me...if I hadn't met Kyle that day. I don't know what kind of man I would have grown into...maybe one like my father.” He looked at Kyle. The man's eyes were rimmed in red as he wiped at his tears. “You saved my life...when you decided I was worth defending.” He smiled as a tear slipped free. “You were the real hero that day, baby.”
He returned his attention to Janice. “Today...God answered my prayer, in full. All I ever wanted was to be a part of your family.” He glanced at Kyle, his vision blurring. He reached down and took Kyle's hand, pulling him to his feet again. “And now I am.” He kissed Kyle deeply, touched his face tenderly then turned his eyes to Janice once more. “I want to ask if it would be all right with you,” He looked at Kyle. “Both of you...if I took Kyle's last name. I was never proud to call myself a Westfall. But...” he licked his lips slowly, tears sliding down his cheeks as he cupped Kyle's face with one hand and stroked his cheek with his thumb. “But I would be honored to be a Haney.”
♦
A warm numbing sensation swept through Kyle's heart, pumping through his body. He stared at Nate, throat knotted so tight he could barely swallow. Nate wanted to take his last name. He hadn't told Kyle any of this – not even about the toast to his mom. Why this caused him to want to break down and cry, he didn't know. But fresh tears were rising fast, distorting his vision.
“Kyle...” Nate's hand was still on his face, his thumb caressing his damp cheek. The love in the man's eyes reduced Kyle's heart to a puddle of goo and he longed to offer Nate the universe if he would just promise to never stop looking at him this way. “Baby...you've given me your hand in marriage.” He lifted Kyle's left hand to his lips and kissed his ring. “And that's more than I ever hoped to receive in this life. But if you would give me this one last thing...you would fulfill every dream I ever dreamed, every prayer I ever prayed.”
Kyle's tears weaved a course down his cheeks and he turned his face into Nate's hand, pressing his lips into his palm. “You're killing me, baby.” Kyle whispered so low only Nate could hear. The love Nate was pouring into him felt like more than he could take and he just wanted to grab hold of him and cry until he passed out in his arms.
Before he could make the move, Nate's arms were around him, hugging him, holding him so tight, so secure. He kissed Kyle's neck then whispered tightly, “Will you give me your name, baby?”
Choking on a sob, Kyle smiled and buried his face in Nate's neck. “Like I could ever deny you anything.”
“Thank you, Kyle.” The depth of sincere gratitude and love in those three words caused Kyle's arms to tighten around his husband and release another rush of tears. “I love you so much, baby.”
“I love you, too.” he trembled and kept his face pressed into Nate's neck, sobs hitching his chest. He didn't care that everyone saw him crying like a baby, he was barely aware of them. Right now, Nate was all that existed to him.
♦
When Nate took Kyle's hand and led him out on the dance floor, it seemed the hard surface dropped away beneath his feet and left him walking on air. And the love in Kyle's eyes gave him wings to continue flying.
The way that Kyle's gaze locked on Nate's face without wavering, Nate knew the guy was conscious only of him. All dressed up, eyes damp with tears and glowing with pride to be by Nate's side...it was hard to imagine this was the same wild Kyle who had made his life so crazy, yet remained his very reason for living. Who would have guessed that the cocky, smart ass boy he'd fallen head over heels for – could play the teary-eyed, just-married, in-love type?
Ah baby, you play the part so well. You have me convinced.
“What song did you chose?” Kyle asked low as Nate began to draw him into his arms. His cocky grin teased the corner of his lips. “'Cause I can't do hot and sexy in this suit.”
Nate chuckled softly. “Oh I bet you could.”
“Yeah.” Kyle smirked. “I could.” His cocky smile shifted, softened, as he began to fall into Nate's warm eyes.
Pulling him close, Nate touched his forehead to Kyle's warm brow. “I chose this song...special for you.” he murmured then kissed him softly. “You were the first person to ever stand up for me.” His throat tightened and he kissed him again. “You will always be my hero, baby.”
The music began, soft and low, as a tender male voice whispered – 'Let me be your hero' – and Nate gripped Kyle's right hand in his left and held it against his heart as the tender song flowed out and their first dance as husbands began.
'Would you dance, if I asked you to dance? Would you run, and never look back?'
Kyle trembled in Nate's arms as they swayed softly to the music.
'Would you cry, if you saw me crying? And would you save my soul tonight?'
Tears shimmered in Kyle's eyes as he held Nate's loving gaze. Nate slowly released his hand and touched his fingertips to Kyle's face, his thumb caressing his lips, as he whispered the words of the love song. “Would you tremble...if I touched your lips? Would you laugh...oh please tell me this.” His throat tightened and tears filled his eyes. “Now would you die...for the one you loved? Hold me in your arms tonight.”
A warm tear slid down Kyle's cheek as Nate wiped it away and it was replaced by another.
'Let me be your hero, baby...I can kiss away the pain.'
Nate kissed him softly and whispered with the song, “I will stand by you forever...you can take my breath away.”
Kyle's arms slid around his neck and held him tight, their brows pressed gently together, unable to look away from one another as their bodies touched and glided in perfect rhythm.
'Would you swear, that you'll always be mine? Or would you lie? Would you run and hide?'
The warmth of Kyle's body gave Nate a sense of buoyancy, as if he were floating, his feet off the floor. His lips brushed Kyle's mouth in a tender kiss. “Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind? I don't care...you're here tonight.” His kiss deepened as the song swept them up together in a rush of love and passion.
'I can be your hero, baby...I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever...you can take my breath away.'
Nate's arms tightened as Kyle's beautiful face shimmered before him, the song slipping off his lips in a passionate whisper, “Oh, I just want to hold you...I just want to hold you.” he kissed him again as tears fell lightly, softly down his cheeks. “Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind? Well, I don't care...you're here tonight.”
His cheek touched Kyle's warm, damp face and he closed his eyes, feeling the words of the song encompass his heart, impassion his soul, as he held on tight to the love of his life.
'I can be your hero, baby...I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever...you can take my breath away.'
“You can take my breath away.” His lips brushed Kyle's ear as the song softly ended with one final declaration - “I can be your hero.”
The music faded, yet their bodies still moved together, held tight, unwilling to let go. Nate trembled when Kyle's warm lips touched his neck, then his ear, and in the style of Kyle, whispered - “I have a hard on.”
Nate's arms tightened, squeezing the guy fiercely as he buried his face in Kyle's neck and burst into muffled laughter. “Me too, baby.”
♦
Kyle bypassed the seat and dropped onto his back on the spacious floor of the limo as Nate slid in across the seat and closed the door.
A low groan rolled up Kyle's throat as he shoved his fingers through his hair and chuckled, “It's a good thing you can't help but love me forever...'cause I am never doing that again.”
Nate laughed softly. “Was it that terrible?”
“Not terrible.” Kyle propped up on his elbows and gazed at Nate. “Just...extremely nerve racking.”
“What?” Nate smiled, lips twisting. “You were nervous?”
Kyle groaned and dropped back down on his back, laughing. “Fuck you.” He propped up again then grabbed Nate behind the knees. “On second thought – fuck me.” He pulled him off the seat and down on top of him, Nate straddling his waist.
Leaning over him, Nate flattened his hands on the floor on either side of Kyle's head. “No worries, babe.” he smiled. “You're stuck with me for life.”
A slow smirk twisted Kyle's lips. “Can you stick me right now?”
“Shit.” Nate laughed and sank down against him. “Mom is right – you are incorrigible.”
Kyle grabbed his ass and squeezed hard, kneading his cheeks with firm fingers. “Now is not the time to be bringing up mom.” he pulled Nate's crotch hard against his own. “Even if we are married now – she'd still slap the shit out of me if she knew even a fraction what I want to do to you right now.”
Groaning, Nate ground his crotch against Kyle. “Hmm...pray tell.”
Heat coursed through Kyle's body. Every nerve and sensory seemed heightened by the entire nerve racking day, making him ultra-aware of everything about Nate from his obvious steel hard cock straining to get at him, to the glistening droplets of sweat on his brow, the soft blond hair of his arms tickling Kyle's neck as the guy's fingers played through his hair, the scent of champagne on his breath as his lips hovered over Kyle's mouth.
“I'd rather pray show.” Kyle murmured, grinning, then pushed Nate up and urged him back onto the seat. Kyle crawled forward and knelt between his knees, rubbing his hands slowly up and down the man's firm thighs. “If we get to the airport early.” he slid his hands up Nate's legs and massaged his crotch with his thumbs, causing the man to suck in a short, sharp breath. “The driver is just gonna have to circle around a few times.” Kyle leaned in and grabbed Nate's tie with his teeth and tugged it loose. “'Cause I ain't leavin' this limo till we've fucked our brains out.”
♦
Oh shit, baby, I'm so ready.
Nate pressed back against the seat, a much more pleasurable tension gripping him now. His breath turned instantly ragged when Kyle worked his hand into his crotch, massaging him with palm and fingers. The buttons of Nate's white tux shirt snapped off between Kyle's teeth as he spit them onto the floor one at a time.
The interior of the limo was heating up fast and Nate shrugged out of his jacket, glad to be free of the confinement. He pushed his crotch into Kyle's hand, groaning deep. His head dropped back and he closed his eyes, a smile playing across his lips as he slowly ran his fingers through his own hair, a shaky breath releasing.
Kyle pulled his hand from Nate's crotch and tugged open his button-less shirt, pushing up straighter on his knees and shoving in tighter between Nate's thighs. Kyle yanked his jacket off and tossed it behind him, then jerked at his tie and ripped open his shirt, snapping off a few buttons in the process. He worked the shirt off as Nate watched, eyes heavy, breath quick, cock throbbing.
“I am so ready to fuck.” Kyle groaned and grabbed Nate's hips, jerking him forward on the seat, grinding their hard crotches, as he rubbed his hands firmly up Nate's chest and kissed him with raw passion.
A shot of sexual electricity snapped through Nate and he hooked his legs around Kyle, locking him in, pulling him tighter between his thighs. He grabbed Kyle's head and kissed him hard, urgent, then pushed him down on the floor, shoving his legs open as he thrust against him through his pants.
“Fuck!” Kyle gasped sharp, ripping out of the kiss. He practically tore Nate's shirt the rest of the way off then clawed at his ass, pulling him harder against him, arching, bucking his hips, grinding Nate's crotch in desperation. “Fuck, Nate.” he gasped again, voice shaking. “Get out those fucking pants now!”
Nate grinned, panting. “You first.” He grabbed at the front of Kyle's pants, tugging them open with urgent hands, then dug his fingers under the waistband and yanked them down off his hips and under his ass, dragging his briefs with them. Kyle helped, hurriedly kicking his legs loose as Nate pulled off his shoes. The pants were quickly discarded as Nate sat up on his knees and, in a near frenzy, got his own pants open, his burning eyes glued to Kyle's naked body, his straining erection, fiercely stiff and dripping cum juice onto his stomach as he watched Nate's hands.
“Fuck, baby.” Kyle panted hard. “Quit taking your time.” Nate wasn't taking his time as he shoved his pants down his thighs. Kyle didn't give him a chance to get them completely off before he lunged forward and dragged Nate down on top of him, throwing his legs around his waist, fingers gouging the back of his head as he pulled him into a hard kiss.
A course laugh staggered out of Nate. “At least let me get my pants off, man.”
Kyle growled and cut him off with another kiss, his toes hooking Nate's pants and shoving them down to his ankles. Knowing there was no way in hell he was getting out of Kyle's clutches – even for a moment – Nate squeezed the guy in his arms and dove into the kiss, kicking his shoes off and wriggling his feet out of the pants. As soon as he was free, he drew his knees up and lifted Kyle's ass off the floor, still bent over him and caught by Kyle's hands gripping his head, holding his face close to his.
He panted against Kyle's mouth. “Tell me you love me.” he smiled as he rubbed his throbbing cock head through the crease of Kyle's ass, nudging his tight ring.
“Fuck me already!” Kyle's short nails dug into the back of Nate's neck, his hips pushing, struggling to impale himself on Nate if the man wasn't going to do it himself.
“Do you love me?” Nate bit Kyle's lip and grinned, torturing himself as much as Kyle.
“Yes!” Kyle nearly screamed, choking on a laugh and what resembled a sob. “Fuck! Yes, I fucking love you! Shit! Nate!”
Nate grabbed his mouth and kissed him with hard passion then pushed inside him with little reservation. Kyle was a big boy – he could take it. And he did – with enthusiasm.
“Fuu-uck!” Kyle arched fiercely as his hands dropped to the limo floor, fingers clawing the carpet, as he pushed his hips up, forcing himself onto Nate, taking the man deeper inside. “Holy fuck!”
Shoving the rest of his cock into Kyle's tight heat, Nate encased the man in his arms, sucking his body up tight against his, kissing him with urgency. Kyle's thighs squeezed his waist hard as they began to all out fuck, no preliminaries.
“Fuck! Yes!” Kyle gasped into Nate's mouth, fingers gouging his shoulders as their bodies went wild.
Nate's head was spinning. All he could feel was Kyle's tight, velvet cave squeezing his hard cock, rocking against him, gliding up and down his throbbing shaft, so hot and snug, so perfectly fitting.
“Oh fuck, Kyle.” Nate panted, sweat already lacing his body and dampening his hair, their bodies growing slick, skin slipping against skin. “Shit, baby, I'm not going last long.” Nate's firm abdomen pressed and raked against Kyle's hard cock, and he could feel it pulsing, leaking. The man was so far gone, he would cum without Nate ever taking him in hand.
“Fuck! Me neither!” Kyle confirmed with a staggered grunt and groan. “Come on, Nate...fuck me hard...make me cum! I wanna cum so fucking bad!”
Without hesitation, Nate squeezed him tighter in his arms and claimed his mouth again, kissing hard, thrusting his tongue deep into Kyle's mouth, grappling with Kyle's tongue as he picked up the pace, slamming into him erratically.
A wail began to twist up Kyle's throat and he shoved them over without breaking their union, and rode Nate's cock hard and forceful.
“Fuck!” Nate grabbed his hips and hammered his cock into the guy, his ass leaving the floor on each upward thrust, body arching and contorting as his own orgasm coiled and wrapped around him, tightening his balls, then the rest of him, flexing every muscle in his body. “Fuck, Kyle!” he gasped sharp, deep, his breath sucking in and holding as their bodies connected with sharp slapping echoes. Kyle's cock smacked against his hard stomach, soaking his skin with slick cum juice, hard as steel. He was gonna blow any second, he could see it in Kyle's tight face, clenched teeth, stiff body. His fingers clawed Nate's chest and he threw back his head, releasing a strangled wail.
“Fuuuck! Nate!” Creamy hot cum burst from his cock in hard shots, tendrils hitting Nate's chest and neck, a single shot landing on his chin. His tongue snaked out and licked it as his cock exploded inside Kyle.
“God! Baby! Fuck yes! Yes!” He fucked Kyle harder, unloading the last vestiges of his love for the man.
A hard gasp escaped Kyle and he dropped with a grunt onto Nate's chest, knocking some of the wind out of him. Nate chuckled as Kyle's hot, erratic breath seared Nate's wet skin, his cheek burning against his throat.
“Feel better?” Nate's own breath puffed from his lips, uneven, static.
Kyle moaned and nuzzled his throat, and he felt his grin stretch his lips. “Much.” he chuckled low, exhausted. “Damn, I married a hot one.”
Sliding his fingers through Kyle's damp hair, Nate kissed his head. “Me too.”
A soothing silence settled through the limo interior as Nate held Kyle's fevered body against his own and listened to the limo's tires racing down the pavement, the quiet engine a relaxing sound.
Kyle lay still, his breath slowly calming. Just when Nate was sure he'd fallen asleep, he murmured, “I loved the song...the dance.” His warm lips touched the base of Nate's throat, and he added with a whisper, “Did I ruin the moment...saying what I said?”
Nate couldn't suppress the soft laugh that emerged with the recent memory. “No.” His arms wrapped tight around his husband and he kissed his hair. “You made the moment uniquely ours.”
Lifting his head, Kyle looked at him, that crazy shimmer of insecurity peeking out. “Honestly?” A sliver of doubt weighed down his voice. “You're not just...saying that?”
Nate smiled and kissed him. “Honestly, baby.” he laughed quietly and slid his thumbs across Kyle's cheeks. “It was perfect.” he kissed him again. “I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. You always make everything special in your own way. And I love that about you.” He caressed Kyle's lips with his thumb. “I love you. Everything about you.” he smiled softly. “Even all the crazy shit.” His smile stretched a little. “Especially the crazy shit.”
“That's good.” Kyle smirked and laid his head on Nate's shoulder. “'Cause I'm not sure there's anything else.”
Nate just chuckled and hugged him tighter. Baby, there's so much more than you realize.
“Where we going?” Exhaustion and fatigue softened Kyle's tone. “You never told me.”
Pressing his lips to Kyle's soft brown hair – now nearly grown back out to its original length – Nate murmured, “Back to the beginning.”
EPILOGUE
“Lost In Your Love”
(pt. 1)
♦
“T HE R E was a road? Why the hell did we walk last time?”
Nate chuckled and killed the engine then leaned back and stretched his arm across the back of the seat, playing with Kyle's hair. “It wasn't drivable last time, lazy ass.”
The feel of Nate's fingers in his hair sent tiny shock waves skittering down through Kyle's body. It seemed no matter how often Nate touched him, or even how minimal the touch, it never failed to quicken his pulse and heat up his body.
Kyle leaned forward in the cab and stared at the cabin; it had been totally renovated – even had a yard now, rather than overgrown, dead weeds and brush. Though at the moment thick frost clung to the grass blades. “We're not gonna freeze our asses off again, are we?”
“We didn't freeze our asses off before.” Nate smiled wryly.
True. In fact, it had gotten pretty damn hot inside that cabin. An ache crept through Kyle's heart at the memory though. There had been too much pain and hopelessness woven through that night. He flinched when Nate's hand flattened on the back of his neck, his fingers squeezing with affection.
“Don't look like that, Kyle.” Nate murmured.
Glancing at him, Kyle asked quietly, “Like what?” Nate just stared at him, and Kyle looked away. “Why didn't I just tell you the truth?” he whispered tightly. “You were my best friend...all my life you had my back.”
Nate's fingers gently caressed the side of his neck, then he drew Kyle against him. “You told me why...in your letter.” He kissed Kyle's temple then around to his lips. “You knew what it would do to me.”
“But I hurt you anyway.” he whispered. “Maybe worse than if I'd just been straight with you.”
Smiling, Nate kissed him again. “But you're not straight.”
“Shut up.” Kyle laughed softly. “You know what I mean.” He pulled back and sat up straighter. Warmth and love resonated from Nate's eyes.
“Yeah, baby, I do.” He touched Kyle's face. “But it's over. We made it through. Just barely, but we did make it.” Leaning over, he kissed Kyle's mouth with emphasis. “Now how about we just enjoy the rest of our lives?”
The man always knew how to make him feel better. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Good.” Nate grinned and shoved open his door. “Now come check out your wedding present.”
They left the truck and approached the cabin. Nate grabbed his hand and squeezed it firmly. “So what do you think?”
“When the hell did you have time to do this?” Kyle murmured. “And without me knowing?”
Nate chuckled. “Well, you know that job I was on when I had to stay up here for about a week?”
“Yeah.” Kyle groaned. “I about lost my mind not having you there.”
Sliding his arm around Kyle's shoulder, he kissed the side of his head. “Well...this was the job.”
Kyle looked at him. “You did all this in a week?”
“Well.” Nate shrugged. “Not by myself. I mean, I started out on my own, but when my crew caught wind of what I was doing – and why I was doing it – they pitched in. It was their wedding gift to me.” He kissed Kyle's hair. “And to you.”
Emotion squeezed Kyle's throat – Nate really did all this for him? A sinking feeling weighed in his gut. “I didn't...get you anything.” His eyes burned in the cold, late February air.
Nate tipped his head back and laughed, then dragged him into his arms and squeezed him tight, kissing his neck hard. “You didn't get me anything?” he whispered in his ear. “Baby, you came back from the fucking dead for me.” He rubbed his lips up over the curve of his jaw and further, kissing his temple then his brow, before pressing his forehead to Kyle's. “You were every dream I ever dreamed, Kyle. And now you've come true. How the hell can you say you didn't get me anything?” He kissed him deeply then whispered against his lips. “You gave me everything...when you loved me...when you married me...when you gave me your name.”
Groaning, Kyle hugged him tight and shoved his face against his neck. “I hate you.”
Nate chuckled. “Why is that?”
“'Cause you always make me cry like a fucking baby.” he choked quietly.
His arms squeezing, Nate replied, “Well...you're my baby.” He grinned and nuzzled his ear. “And I happen to think it's kind of sexy when you cry.”
“Shut up.” Kyle choked on a hoarse laugh and pulled back, wiping his eyes. “It just makes you feel like the man of the relationship.”
“Oh fuck.” Nate busted up and grabbed him again and kissed him. “You say the wildest things, babe.”
♦
Nate opened the door and held it for Kyle. The man stood for a moment at the threshold, his lips twisting in that sexy smirk that drove Nate crazy. “So.” Kyle cocked an eyebrow. “Who carries who over the threshold?”
“Well,” Nate smiled wryly. “Since you're not strong enough to pick me up, I guess...” He threw his arms around Kyle's waist, lifted him off his feet and swept him through the doorway, dropping his feet back to the floor inside the cabin. He kissed him. “There.”
Kyle shook his head, laughing low. “I could so pick your ass up.”
“Well sure, my ass.” Nate mused, stepped inside and closed the door. He winked. “But I would lift that for you myself.”
“Prove it.”
“Oh I will.” Nate promised. “Here in a few. Just hold your balls.”
“Thought that was your job.” Kyle smirked. “As my husband, of course.”
Chuckling, shaking his head, Nate walked to the fireplace, squatted down and began making a fire. He glanced down at the hearth. Where it all went to hell the moment the ring hit the bricks. His eyes shifted to his left hand where the wedding band hugged his finger – the same ring he had thought signaled the end of everything...had in reality embodied his dream. A soft smile curved his lips.
“What're you smiling about?” Kyle sat down on the end of the hearth and leaned back against the rock wall of the fireplace.
“Can't a guy just smile to be smiling?”
Kyle shrugged and grinned, then looked around the cabin. “At least it doesn't smell like something died in here this time.” he mused. “And I see you traded in the hard bunks for a big ole bed.” He nodded slowly. “Nice...can't wait to break it in.” He stood up and went over to the bed. Nate heard the mattress creak slightly as Kyle sat down, then bounced a little. “Nice and springy. We might gain air on this thing.”
“Shit.” Nate laughed and continued working on the fire. In truth, he couldn't wait to break the thing in either. His and Kyle's little wild ride to the airport, and even last night at his house – was all starting to wear off. He needed another fix soon. Kyle had still been worked up when they'd arrived at the house. The fact that he survived all of yesterday from the wedding to the hot sex gave testament to the durability of his new heart. Nate had been holding back, not allowing them to go all out until he knew for sure Kyle was fully healed. Had it not been for that, they would have surely gotten married even sooner. But he wasn't about to spend their wedding night together until he felt comfortable cutting loose. And last night had been insane. A time or two he had wondered if his heart could hold out. The guy gave a whole new meaning to Wild Kyle.
After the fire was lit, he stood and turned around. Kyle lay sideways across the bed, staring at the ceiling, his hands resting lightly on his stomach. Nate's gaze lingered on the small patch of visible skin where the hem of Kyle's shirt had pulled up a bit. The memory of Kyle laying on his bunk that first night, teasing him with his sexy smirky smiles, eyes heavy with want, displaying his hard stomach to Nate, proving he wasn't scrawny...it stabbed hot spears into Nate's groin.
He walked over to the bed, shook off his jacket, then laid down on his back next to Kyle. “What're you looking at?” Nate smiled.
“The ceiling.”
“Ah...fascinating.”
Kyle's lips twitched. “Just making sure there's no spiders ready to drop down.”
God, baby, I love your silly ass. Nate chuckled softly. “Find any?”
“Not yet.” He turned his head and looked at Nate, then lifted his hand and brushed the back of his fingers down Nate's cheek. “You make me...crazy happy...you know that?”
Nate's hand came up and slid into Kyle's, slowly intertwining their fingers. “You make me crazy happy, too, baby.” he whispered.
The guy just gazed at him, eyes slightly glossed, squeezing his hand with an almost desperate pressure. “You know how they say that...being in a coma is just like going to sleep?”
Nate dragged his hand to his lips and kissed it softly, and nodded.
“That isn't true.” His voice thickened. “Not for me, anyway.” He shifted his eyes back to the ceiling but didn't release Nate's hand. “I thought I was dead, Nate. I thought...it was true that God hated fags...and I was in hell.” he looked at Nate again, tears thick in his eyes. “I was so scared. I thought it was over...that I would never see you again, or my mom. I thought I would be lost in that cold darkness for the rest of eternity.”
Kyle's face swam as Nate's vision blurred.
“But then...you were there.” Kyle whispered, tears wetting his voice. “I couldn't see you, but I could...hear you. Even feel you at times, as if you were standing right there beside me. And you kept telling me to hold on, keep fighting, that...that you would never let me go.”
Nate turned on his side and pulled Kyle into his arms as the man hugged him tight, fiercely, his face buried in his throat, body trembling. He slid his fingers through Kyle's hair, his thumb rubbing over the scar that ran up his skull just behind his ear. He kissed his head softly.
“That's when I knew...I wasn't dead.” Kyle choked, huddling close to Nate's body like a child seeking comfort after waking from a horrifying nightmare. “And somehow I knew...I would be okay. Because you kept telling me I would be and...you've never lied to me.”
Tears dripped off Nate's face and seeped into Kyle's hair. “Why didn't you ever tell me this?”
“I don't know.” Kyle sniffed. His wet eyelashes brushed against the tender skin of Nate's throat.
“How about...” Nate murmured, tucking a fingertip under Kyle's chin and lifting his face. “We unpack the truck later?” He kissed him with warm passion. “Because right now...” He slowly peeled off Kyle's jacket then slid his hand under his shirt and gently caressed his stomach, then around to rub his back as he pulled him close again. “Right now I just want to make love to my new husband.”
♦
Nate's lips followed the hem of Kyle's shirt as he slowly shoved it up over his stomach then chest. Kyle pulled it off the rest of the way over his head then slid his fingers through Nate's hair as the man's warm mouth explored his throat then descended back down his chest and stomach, dropping light kisses all across his skin – each and every one like a whispered I Love You.
His eyes partially closed, Kyle's breath slid up a notch when Nate's lips touched the button of his jeans and he rubbed his hands down his legs then slowly up again. The button popped loose beneath his fingertips, the dull echo of the zipper sliding down, the front of his jeans peeling back, Nate's fingertips tugging down the band of his briefs then his lips dropping more kisses on bare skin.
“God...Nate...” Kyle's breath skipped and stalled as the man's tongue snaked out and the tip twirled through the dark, course pubic strands reaching up from the base of his cock – now hard as stone. Pressing his face in closer, Nate sucked on the hair, tugging the front of his briefs and jeans down a little more as his lips grabbed at the thick, hard base of his throbbing member and suctioning to it as well. “Fuck...baby...”
A low – Mmmm – drifted up Nate's throat and he rubbed his hands up, gripped the waistband of the jeans at Kyle's hips and dragged them down to his thighs, releasing his powerful erection. Nate latched onto the underside of the base and began sucking up and down the bottomside of the entire shaft.
“Fuck!” Kyle's hips bucked a little on reflex, his cock jumping against Nate's lips. He whimpered when he felt the guy's velvet tongue bumping over the ridge of muscle, then tickling and teasing his hard flesh with just the tip before slithering around the circumference of his cock muscle. “Oh fuck, Nate!” Kyle panted. “Suck me, baby! Please!”
Nate's lips stretched into a smile against Kyle's hardness then warm, wet heat suddenly encased his cock. Sharp breath sucked down Kyle's throat and he cried out, clutching Nate's head. The tightness and silkiness of the guy's mouth was too much, he couldn't resist the need to fuck it. Fingers wound through Nate's hair and gripped as his hips thrust, pushing his cock into his husband's throat again and again.
“Oh fuck, Nate!” he shuddered hard, his hands shaking as he held onto the man. “Oh god, baby...yes...yes...Uuhh!”
Soft moans rolled up Nate's throat as his wet mouth moved up and down Kyle's thick shaft, slicking his hard flesh. His strong hands gripped and pushed against Kyle's thighs, gaining leverage to stroke him faster, more urgently.
“Fuck!” Kyle choked on a scream. His jaw clenched, breath staggered in his throat. “Fuck, Nate, I'm gonna cum if you keep that up...”
Nate's mouth squeezed around his member and pulled, sucking slowly up to the tip. A forceful shudder swept through Kyle's tense body. Then Nate was backing away, stepping off the bed. He tugged Kyle's jeans down his legs and off, his eyes crawling all over his naked flesh. “God, baby, you're beautiful.” he murmured. His hands moved quick and efficiently, discarding his own clothes. When he came to Kyle, his eyes were burning with love and desire, his cock hard as steel.
Straddling Kyle on hands and knees, Nate dropped soft kisses on his lips, his throat, then down the center of his chest, kissing the pinkish scar. Every time Nate touched or kissed the scar, Kyle felt him tremble – as if he were recalling just how close he came to losing everything.
Eyes stinging, Kyle stroked his fingers through Nate's hair as the man continued to lay kisses on his chest and throat. “I love you, Nate.” He found Nate's mouth and kissed him, pulling him deeper into it. His hands caressed down Nate's body then gripped his hips firmly and directed him down on his cock. Nate swore softly as Kyle entered him, pushing in deeper and deeper.
“Fuck, baby.” Nate gasped sharp and leaned forward, his fingers gouging into Kyle's lean chest. “Mm! I love how you feel inside me.” His hips began to move in a slow, smooth circular motion until Kyle wanted to scream. Nate smiled when Kyle's face tightened with sexual pleasure. “Like that, baby?”
“Oh fuuuck...” Kyle shoved his head back into the pillow, a staggered laugh sticking in his throat as he raked his fingers through his hair and lifted his hips, falling into the rhythm with Nate, rotating his cock inside the man.
“Shit.” Nate's breath caught and he bit his lip hard – and something about that drove Kyle insane. He pushed up on one arm and wrapped the other around Nate's neck, dragging the man into a hard, passionate kiss as he shoved his cock into him harder, deeper, faster. Nate groaned down his throat and rode him with more urgency.
“Uh!” Kyle gasped sharp through their kiss, then ground tightly, “Yes! Fuck me, Nate! Ride me hard, baby!”
Shoving him down on his back, Nate pinned his arms above his head and fucked him without mercy, jaw clenched, eyes burning with both love and lust.
“Fuck yes!” Kyle choked and thrust his hips, meeting him half way, their bodies connecting harder, with more urgency. He strained against Nate's strong hands but couldn't get free. “Nate...” he groaned loud, panting. “Let me have one hand...I wanna jerk you off.” he whimpered when Nate smiled darkly and shook his head. “Come on! Why?”
Nate leaned down, never breaking rhythm, his teeth grabbed at Kyle's lower lip. “Because,” he grunted, panting, breath puffing erratically, “after I make you come...I'm gonna take my turn and tap that sweet ass of yours until you're screaming my name.” He kissed him, thrusting his tongue into his mouth as he fucked him harder.
♦
Oh god, Kyle, hurry up! I need inside you!
Nate rolled his hips smoothly as he lifted and dropped on Kyle's hard cock. The guy's arms strained more forcefully against Nate's grip on his wrists, but he refused to release him. Kyle was desperate to jerk him off and, as Nate had told him – he wanted to be inside that beautiful ass when he came.
“Come on, baby.” Nate panted, dropping down to kiss him again and suck his tongue, stroking the velvet caverns of his ass on Kyle's rigid member. “Give it up.”
“Fuck!” Kyle broke away from the kiss, face tight, jaw clenching as a growl rolled up his throat, pushing out through his clamped teeth. His hips thrust up with added force, pounding Nate as his body arched and he writhed against the blankets. “Fuck! Nate! I'm gonna cum! Fuuuck!!”
Nate bounced on him harder, squeezing his wrists, his own face twisted in sweet sexual anguish as Kyle's cock head assaulted his sweet spot, causing his own cock to thicken and lengthen and turn to granite, dripping clear cum juice on Kyle’s stomach.
A scream bursting out, Kyle bucked up hard, burying his shaft balls deep into Nate and unloaded. “Fuck!” He choked, body twisting and tightening as he continued to push himself into his husband with short, jerky thrusts, jaw clenching, popping the cords in his neck as his body forced out his love for the man. A sudden, hard gasp exploded from his throat and he sagged against the bed, panting, sweat slicking his body and face, a satisfied grin on his lips. “Holy fuck, man.” he gasped, breath ragged and staggered. “You are one hot fuck.”
Chuckling low, Nate kissed him, chest heaving with his own need for release. His hands loosened from Kyle's wrists. “Turn over, baby.” he groaned tightly, “I've got something for you too.”
Kyle's lower lip sucked between his teeth and his eyebrows rose, a smirk dragging at the corners of his mouth. “Something good, I hope.”
“Good,” Nate kissed that sexy mouth then sucked his lower lip, “is an understatement.” he lifted off Kyle as the guy twisted onto his stomach. Nate grabbed a thick pillow and stuffed it under Kyle's hips, elevating his perfectly rounded ass. “Fuck, baby...there's just something about this view that makes me want to sink my teeth into that flawless rump.”
Lifting his rear a bit, Kyle wondered, “What's stopping you?”
Nate sighed and rubbed his hands over Kyle's firm cheeks, his skin damp and heated from their recent session. “Just taking in the view.” Sweat slicked between Kyle's cheeks as Nate's thumbs slipped through the crease then his palms flattened and opened the man up. “Fuck.” Nate moaned and dropped down, dragging his tongue through the slick ravine of his ass. Kyle flinched then lifted up to him. Squeezing his cheeks hard, Nate began to rim his tight ring.
“Uuh! Shit!” Kyle grabbed a pillow, pulled it under his head and buried his face in its softness, muffling his groans.
There was nothing sweeter than the sound of Kyle's moans when he was being turned on. Nate sucked one finger, slicking it up, then worked it inside the man. Another sharp gasp burst into the pillow and Kyle's back bowed a little as Nate delved in deeper.
“Fuck!” Kyle's head snapped up and his body jerked as Nate's finger grazed over his magic button. He panted then dropped his face into the pillow again, whimpering, pushing back against Nate's finger, stroking on it. “Oh god...”
Nate smiled and massaged him, dipping down to gently bite his ass cheeks, the muscles firm sponginess beneath his teeth turning him on like mad. He stroked Kyle more urgently as the guy squirmed and moaned and whimpered, thrusting on Nate's finger.
“Fuck, Nate...” Kyle choked on a desperate plea, “Please fuck me...now...please...fuck, I need your cock inside me.”
“Anything for my new husband.” Nate smiled and bit his ass again, a tad harder. Kyle jerked and whimpered. Scooting up on his knees, Nate coated his cock with saliva then fed it into Kyle's beautiful tight ass. He gripped his hard shaft at the base and pushed in deeper and deeper. “Fuck, baby...” his teeth clenched, breath laboring as Kyle's hot, soft inner muscles expanded slowly around his cock.
Kyle clutched the pillow and bit it, a strangled cry squeezing up his throat.
Panting, Nate's face tightened as he released his dick and grabbed Kyle's hips, shoving himself further in. “Oh fuck, baby...almost there...just a little more...” A loud grunt erupted out when he sank in, his pelvis pressing against Kyle's soft ass cheeks. “Oh my god, Kyle...” His eyes stung as they seemed to so often when he entered Kyle's body, as if they were truly becoming one flesh. “Oh god, I love you, baby.”
He laid down against Kyle's back and slipped his arms under the guy's fevered, damp body and flattened his hands on his chest, fingers gripping. He kissed Kyle's shoulder, breath uneven as he worked his hips, rocking against the man's ass slowly, circling his cock inside him, loosening him up.
“Fuck, man...” Kyle whimpered again, choking on a quiet cry. “You feel so fucking good, Nate.”
Nate touched his lips to the back of Kyle's neck, nuzzling the tips of his dampened hair. His palms pressed against his chest, absorbing the strong, steady beat of his lover's heart. Fingertips glided down the surgical scar and he pushed his brow to the back of Kyle's head and closed his eyes as his love and need for this one man surged through him. Tears formed and he kissed his hair, his body moving against Kyle more urgently, sliding in and out of his tight heat, using long strokes, letting the man feel every inch of his desire for him.
“Nate...” Kyle choked on a sudden sob as he seemed to sense the emotion in Nate as the man made love to him.
“I love you.” Nate trembled and whispered, arms tightened, squeezing Kyle's body in his embrace. “I love you, Kyle.” his hot breath puffed against Kyle's neck, his shoulders. Nate squeezed his eyes shut as his muscles strained and flexed with each thrust of his hips that carried him to heaven. His rhythm and pace quickened as Kyle moved with him, soft ass rotating, rolling, working in perfect sync with Nate's thrusts.
“I love you too, baby.” Kyle whimpered, panting, his heart beating harder but staying steady. Nate's fingers tightened against the guy's chest, gripping more firmly, as his body raked smoothly, wetly up and down Kyle's back.
Kyle shoved his elbows into the mattress and used the leverage to fuck Nate back with equal intensity, his head pulling up out of the pillow and tilting back, eyes closed, breath exhaling in hard, short gasps. Nate kissed his neck, his ear, the corner of his jaw, then withdrew one hand and cupped Kyle's face, turning his head and grabbing his mouth. Their mutual groans of pleasure heightened their passion even more and they fucked harder.
Releasing Kyle's face, Nate's fingers snaked into the man's hair and gripped a fistful, pulling him into a forceful kiss as his hunger for his lover surged hotter and he fucked him with reckless abandon.
“Fuck!” Kyle yelled, tearing out of the kiss, face tight, twisting with sweet sexual agony. “Oh fuck, Nate! Fuck me, baby! Fuck me harder! Uuuhh!!”
Nate's pelvis slapped loud against Kyle's ass as he fucked him without reservation or mercy. “Fuuuck!” Nate choked on a strangled wail forcing up his throat as his balls burned with the need to unload. “Oh Fuck! Kyle! Fuck-Fuck-Fuck!! I'm gonna cum! Now! Shiiitt!”
His cock slammed in and filled Kyle with hot creamy juice, then fucked him erratically, pumping himself out. Kyle shoved one hand underneath himself and grabbed his cock, beating off as Nate continued to thrust at him.
“Yes, baby...” Nate panted, shaking, breath broken. “Do it, baby...cum for me again...come on...yes...yes...” He was empty but still his cock remained heavy enough to stroke Kyle, urging him to give it up.
“Oh fuck!” Kyle cried, and Nate yanked the pillow from under him, reached below and grabbing his cock with him, stroking faster, harder. Kyle fucked both their fists as Nate continued to fuck his ass. “Oh my god! Fuuuck!!” Kyle burst, hot cum squirting across the blankets beneath him as they both jerked him off until he was spent.
Nate collapsed against his back, kissing and licking his hot, sweaty skin.
Hard pants puffed from Kyle's parted lips that twisted into his trademark smirk. “Fuck, baby...” he groaned, barely able to catch a breath. “It's a blast being a fag.”
Nate's forehead dropped against Kyle's shoulder as he burst with laughter. “I tried to tell you.”
EPILOGUE
“Lost In Your Love”
(pt. 2)
♦
K Y L E wasn’t aware of just when he dropped off, but when he awoke, it was dark outside and the only light were the flickering shadows of the fire. His eyes weighed heavily and he was about to allow sleep to reclaim him when he reached over for Nate and found only empty bed. He rubbed his hand over the bare sheet and up across the pillow. Pushing up on one elbow, he searched the cabin. The fire burned bright, illuminating most of the room, but Nate wasn’t there.
A frown stole across his brow, a quill of anxiety piercing his heart and not really sure why. “Nate?” He sat forward, swallowing tightly. He’d never admitted it aloud to Nate or anyone, not even himself really, but since awaking from the coma…he was scared of the dark. Or rather – being alone in the dark. And though the firelight dispelled most of the shadows in the cabin, the twinge of panic still pinched his gut and quickened his breath. “Nate?” he called a little louder, and was two seconds from leaving the bed when the front door opened and Nate stepped in, packing an armload of wood. His pulse instantly calmed from any form of panic, but quickened again with other emotions.
Nate dumped the wood in the wood box next to the fireplace then brushed off the sleeves of his thick denim jacket. He grinned at Kyle, “Hey, sexy. I didn’t expect you to be conscious again until morning.” He unbuttoned his jacket and peeled it off, revealing a shirtless torso. His jeans hung low on his hips with no trace of the elastic band of his briefs, informing Kyle he wasn’t wearing any. Nate grabbed a couple pieces of wood and tossed them on the fire, squatting before the fireplace.
Sitting forward a little more, Kyle’s gaze caressed his back, eyes lingering on the waist of his jeans where they rippled and pulled away from his lower back, affording the tiniest glimpse of his lovely crease.
“What’re you looking at?” Nate murmured without turning, a smile in his voice.
“Just enjoying the view of my recent purchase.”
“Purchase?” Nate twisted his head half way around. “I don’t recall getting paid.”
Kyle chuckled and shoved back the blankets. The interior of the cabin was comfortably warm, even bordering on toasty. He left the bed and walked over to Nate, who glanced up at him, his gaze not really making it past Kyle’s heavy member.
“Better be careful standing so close to the fire.” He smiled wryly then leaned over and kissed Kyle’s stomach just above the base of his cock. “Don’t want any roasted weenies.” His lips brushed over Kyle’s quickly hardening flesh, then stood up slowly, resting his hands on Kyle’s hips.
Grinning, Kyle moved closer and cupped Nate’s ass, squeezing, pushing his chest and crotch against the man. “Oh I don’t know, might go well with your…toasted buns.” With that, he gave Nate’s ass another squeeze.
“You’re insane.” Nate chuckled and kissed him, slipping his arms on around his waist, rubbing down over his firm but soft bare cheeks. His fingers worked the warm flesh and he groaned. “God, baby, I love your ass.” He kissed his neck and grinned. “Have I told you that?”
“Nope.” Kyle smirked. “This is the first.”
Nate laughed low and kissed his neck again, taking his time, sucking sensually on his warm skin as his hands slowly rubbed up his back, fingertips pressing firmly into his lean muscles. “Oh god, Kyle…I can’t get enough of you.”
“That better not ever change.” He moaned, working his fingers down inside the back of Nate’s jeans and kissing his shoulder. He closed his eyes as Nate caressed up and down his back, over his ass, getting him so hot he was sure he might melt in the man’s hands. His cock hardened to granite and pushed against the crotch of Nate’s jeans as he rocked his hips a little. As good as it had felt to make love to Nate for the first time in this cabin…that night couldn’t begin to compare to this one. It had hurt so much keeping that secret from the man, knowing how much more it would hurt to tell him. And so terrified of the reality that he would be separated from Nate for all eternity.
Just please hold me forever, baby. Kyle slid his hands up and hugged Nate extra tight, his face pressed hard against his neck. For so many years he’d been afraid to reveal himself to Nate, and the world. And now…there was a strange freedom in standing here naked in the arms of his husband. What had he been so scared of? Hadn’t he known that with Nate he would always be safe, and loved?
“You okay?” Nate murmured. When he started to draw back, Kyle hugged him tighter, not answering. “Kyle?”
“I love you.” Kyle whispered, his throat wanting to close.
Nate squeezed him in his arms and kissed his shoulder. “I love you too, baby.”
♦
The guys heated, extremely aroused body was playing havoc with Nate’s mind and nether regions. But Kyle’s cocky playfulness had shifted suddenly and now he was clinging to him in mild desperation. “Kyle.” He said softly, quietly against his ear. “Babe, is something wrong?”
“No.” Kyle shook his head and breathed deep. “Everything is right.” His arms loosened a little and he lifted his head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Nate rubbed his back, his skin warming to the heat of the fire.
Kyle smiled uncertainly and pushed his forehead against Nate’s brow. “We were about to get all hot and heavy…and I ruined it.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.” Nate assured. “We can get hot and heavy later. We got all the time in the world now.”
Kyle swallowed thickly then cleared his throat, shaking his head slowly. “But I don’t want to wait till later.” He whispered, then met Nate’s eyes, the corner of his mouth tugging upward. “I want it now.”
“You’re sure?”
Kyle pushed his hard cock against Nate’s crotch. “Does that feel like a man who isn’t sure?”
Dropping his hand, Nate gripped him, stroking. “Feels pretty damn sure to me.” A rasp grated his voice, thickening his throat. Fuck, the guy felt good in his hand. Nate was now convinced Kyle was specially made just for him – in every aspect. Just the right length and thickness, with just enough curve to his cock to make it feel so damn good no matter what angle the guy was doing him from.
Kyle had a hold of the snap of Nate’s jeans, urgently tugging them open. He kissed Nate with heated passion as he shoved his jeans off his hips and slid his hands over his ass. Kyle groaned and twirled his tongue around Nate’s, drawing it into his mouth, sucking firmly. Nate dug his fingers into Kyle’s ass and groaned hard, guttural, as Kyle worked his jeans further down, freeing his cock, pushing the pants down his thighs.
“Kyle.” Nate growled and squeezed him in his arms, fingers raking all over his body. He sucked his neck and along his shoulder. “God, baby, I wanna fuck you so bad right now.”
His breath quick and ragged, Kyle dropped to his knees and yanked Nate’s jeans down to his ankles. Nate kicked them loose of his feet, heart racing as Kyle’s hot mouth roamed up his thighs, kissing firmly, licking, sucking. The first time Kyle had knelt before him – in this same exact spot almost – and sucked him so good, Nate had nearly lost his mind. Even now, he recalled how Kyle had pleaded with him to let him do it, tears filming his eyes. All the little things that had made no sense that night, were now clarified. Kyle had been convinced that it would be their last time together – that he wouldn’t survive the operation.
An ache veined through Nate’s heart and he slipped his fingers into Kyle’s hair and moaned as the guy wrapped a warm hand around his cock and stroked slowly as he laid soft kisses around the base of his shaft and lower. God, baby, I love you so much. He hadn’t realized how hard it would be on his emotions being back here with Kyle, remembering every word, every action, and now understanding what it had all meant. The guy had been in torment, trying to play it off as something less, struggling to just be ‘Kyle’ and not let on to the fear and hurt he was suffering through.
Nate blinked against the tears trying to rise up. It’s okay now. Kyle is okay. That’s all in the past. He closed his eyes and combed his fingers through Kyle’s soft hair, allowing himself to let go of what was before and hold onto the here and now.
When Kyle took him in his mouth, Nate suck in a sharp breath and groaned tight. “Fuck, baby.” He slowly stroked his hard cock in and out of Kyle’s warm, wet mouth, his cock head bumping against the back of his throat. “Oh my god…” Nate’s hips jerked with a spasm when the guy’s tongue worked against the sensitive groove on the underside of the head.
“Mmmm…” Kyle moaned and slowly sucked up the length of his shaft then flicked his tongue across the tip of his cock, inciting another spasm that caused Nate’s cock to jump. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner that cock tasted this good?” Kyle murmured, dragging his tongue around the crown, as if he were licking on an ice cream cone.
“I tried.” Nate shuddered and opened his eyes, watching Kyle take such pleasure in tasting him. “But you insisted that was too much of an overshare.”
Kyle chuckled softly and slid his mouth over Nate’s cock once more, bobbing up and down on him more quickly. Nate’s jaw clenched and he gripped the man’s scalp, squeezing hair through his fingers. A hard breath burst from him and he fucked Kyle’s mouth with more urgency.
“Oh god, Kyle!” He gasped thickly. “Fuck…baby…” Nate squeezed his eyes shut again, panting, puffing, beads of sweat forming all over his body with the aid of the fire, and trickling down his hot skin. “Oh fuck, Kyle…uuhh!”
Kyle moaned deep then pulled off him, standing to his feet. He grabbed Nate’s mouth in a hard, hungry kiss as his hands gripped his hips and pulled him against him. He ground his cock against Nate’s throbbing erection then reached down and wrapped his hand around both their cocks, pressing them tightly together.
“Fuck…” Nate gasped again as he and Kyle thrust against each other through Kyle’s fist, cocks rubbing and raking together. His head dropped back, a hard groan exhaling loud as his hips moved back and forth and Kyle’s cock massaged Nate’s own, sweat and cum juice slicking their hardened flesh. He grabbed Kyle’s hand with both of his, holding them together more firmly and stroked harder.
“Oh shit.” Kyle panted. Sweat glistened his face and body. His free hand came up and grabbed the back of Nate’s head, dragging him into another urgent kiss. “Fuck me, Nate.” He trembled into his mouth. “Please…now…”
No verbal response was necessary. Nate spun him around and Kyle grabbed the edge of the mantle, hips arched back to Nate. Adding spit to his already glistening cock, Nate massaged Kyle’s tight entrance with his fingertips, working his digits inside, loosening him up a bit.
“Ahh! Fuck!” Kyle gasped tightly, jaw clenching as Nate sought out his magic button and massaged it firmly. “Fuck, Nate!”
Nate dropped to one knee and spit on his hole, working it in with his fingers and tongue.
“God!” Kyle’s head dropped back hard, his ass pushing against Nate’s fingers.
“Your ass is so fucking beautiful.” Nate groaned then stood again and gripped his cock, guiding it to his husband’s rear door. Kyle tensed and sucked in a sharp breath as Nate pushed his cock head through the tight ring. Nate’s chest hitched, breath breaking. “Fuuuck!”
“Oh my god, Nate.” Kyle whimpered, working his ass onto Nate’s dick as Nate shoved in deeper. “Fuck me, baby…give it to me…every beautiful inch.”
The guy’s fingers clutched the mantle, firelight glinting off his gold wedding band, pulling Nate’s eyes to the symbolic ring that wrapped around his world and held it together. The full, overwhelming reality that he was married to the boy of his dreams, finally after all these years, exploded through his heart. The tears welled up and he wrapped his arms around Kyle’s chest, shoving his face into his hair, hugging him fiercely as the tears broke and their bodies began to move together. His fingertips played tenderly along the scar on Kyle’s chest, his lips touching the one on the side of his head.
They were together. They were safe. They had looked death in the face – and beat him at his own game.
♦
“Can I tell you something?” the blankets were thrown back and Kyle and Nate laid naked on the sheets, bodies soaked with sweat, hearts still pounding and racing. Kyle slid his hands down Nate’s forearms as the man held him secure, his chest snug against Kyle’s back.
“You can tell me anything.” Nate murmured. Exhaustion thickened his voice, but he was still wide awake.
Kyle hesitated and laid his head back against his husband’s shoulder. “On that rafting trip,” he whispered. “I had…been planning to tell you everything.” Nate’s arms tightened around him. “I was so in love with you…and I wanted to tell you, so bad.”
Nate was silent a moment. He had never told the man any of this. “Why didn’t you?” Nate asked quietly, emotion straining his words.
Shrugging softly, Kyle traced his fingertips over the back of Nate’s hands. “I don’t know. I…chickened out when…the others showed up.” He licked his lips, eyes stinging some. “I was still…scared for people to know. And then when that guy…” His chin trembled, remembering how his response to a stupid snide remark had hurt Nate. “I hated myself for what I said…for hurting you.”
“Hey.” Nate kissed his hair. “It’s over,” he kissed his shoulder, “Done with,” then kissed his ear, “Gone.” He squeezed Kyle until he grunted, then murmured, “I was never really angry at you.”
“I know.” Kyle said quietly. “But I would’ve rather had you pissed at me…than hurt.”
Nate turned him over and kissed his lips. “It only hurt because I loved you so much. If I hadn’t…I wouldn’t have cared what you said.” He rubbed the back of his fingers down Kyle’s cheek. “But I knew you didn’t really mean it, baby. I might have reacted badly at first, but I never doubted where I stood with you. You were my best friend, right from the start.” He kissed his brow softly. “I knew that would never change.”
Tears pooled in Kyle’s eyes. “When we came up here the first time, and then…” his throat worked, tightening, closing. “And then you told me to get out of your life…” Pain darkened Nate’s eyes. “I wanted to die for real. That’s why I left the note…I couldn’t take the thought of you hating me…or thinking I had deliberately hurt you. I didn’t…” He wrapped his arms around Nate and choked on a sob. “I didn’t want to die…without you knowing how much I loved you.”
Nate held him tight. “Well that’s all mute now, baby.” He choked. “We kicked death’s ass and everything is good.” He kissed his hair, hugging him harder. “And that’s the way it’s gonna stay.”
Clearing his throat, Kyle drew back and kissed Nate’s lips. “You were always my dream, Nate. Even if I kept it to myself.” Kyle whispered. “And now you’ve come true.”
Nate smiled and rubbed his lips over Kyle’s mouth softly. “Well,” he murmured, smiling, “I don’t know if I was always your dream.” He kissed him tenderly, “I doubt you were having fluffy bunny dreams about me the day you socked me for kissing you.” He chuckled low and kissed him with more firmness. “Bet you didn’t have a clue we would end up as husbands one day.”
Shrugging, Kyle laid his head on Nate’s chest, listened to the beat of his heart. “True…not a clue in the world.” He whispered. “Never even crossed my mind.” He cuddled closer to Nate’s warm body and closed his eyes – a slow smirk twisting his lips.
♦
“What the fuck, man?!” Kyle squeezed his fist then shook it out, knuckles scraped bloody where they had connected with Nate’s sunglasses. The guy was on the ground, hand covering his eye.
“It was just a kiss.” Nate muttered and crawled to his feet. His hand dropped, revealing the bruise already beginning to discolor the skin around his eye, the swelling soon to follow. He reached down and snatched up his broken sunglasses. “Thanks a lot. These were my only pair.”
Kyle stared at him, heart pounding. “Well you shouldn’t of tried to fucking kiss me.” Kyle was shaking as his hand rubbed over his mouth, knuckles stinging and throbbing. “What the fuck was that about?”
Shrugging, Nate looked sour, almost hurt. “It was just a stupid game.” He turned his back to Kyle, gave a discreet swipe across his face, and then walked away across the school yard.
Kyle couldn’t catch his breath, his eyes glued to Nate’s back. He licked his lips slowly, the thump of his heart growing louder, harder. He jumped off the table where he was sitting and sprinted after his friend. “Nate!” he called. “Wait up.”
“What?” Nate grumbled stiffly when Kyle caught up to him, avoiding looking at him. But the sheen in his eyes was unmistakable.
“So you wanna come over to my house after school?” he asked casually as if he hadn’t just punch the guy in the face. “Mom’s making her famous spaghetti and meatballs.”
Nate remained silent a moment, then shrugged, “Yeah. Sure.” And the tension broke, dissipating in the warm afternoon air as if it had never been there. Kyle cast him a sideways glance, gaze lingering not on the bruised flesh of Nate’s face, but the light gloss of tears beginning to recede. His heart did a cartwheel in his chest and he looked down, stuffing his hands in his pockets, a smile playing at the edges of his lips.
I’m gonna marry that boy someday.